Trust In Me... And I'll Trust In You...

Trust is a concept that many people talk about. Wiccan Pagans invoke the mantra of 'perfect love and perfect trust' as an example of what the relationship of coven members or of fellow Pagans should embody. Pagans are also sometimes disappointed or even terribly hurt when their own 'trust' in this belief is betrayed by someone. Many well-intentioned Pagans start up a web site, an e-zine, a community project, a coven or a campaign only to be disappointed when other Pagans do not immediately flock to support it. They are puzzled by the seeming lack of response and may even become bitter about what they perceive as a deficit of caring concern or involvement on the part of the community.
At some deeper level, they may even feel that people are perhaps more than a little jaded and unwilling to trust them. Trust does not happen 'at first sight'. Trust takes time to develop and trust does have its boundaries.

Trust comes with time. And both the amount of time that it will take to build trust and how closely that one will ultimately be trusted will vary from individual to individual and from situation to situation. If various promises of being the 'ultimate web site for Pagan whatever' has time and time again not lived up to the promises, then the newest-and-latest promise of being the 'ultimate web site for Pagan whatever' will probably not be unconditionally accepted in the first five minutes of inception either. However, if over time the web site DOES continue to produce what it has promised to produce, trust will build. And the same thing holds true for other Pagan causes, projects, individuals and groups
Trust is built through observation. One cannot insist, assume or demand that others trust him/her. In order to build trust, one must demonstrate that one is indeed trustworthy. This means showing up when one says one will show up. It means doing what one promised to do. It means understanding the boundaries of another person's 'comfort zone' and honouring the right for any individual to come around (or not to come around) in his/her own way and time.

Building trust also requires a good amount of consistency. Everyone has bad days. Everyone -no matter how committed to a principle or a cause-has times when they just don't want to show up or do something. Most trustworthy people will do it anyway because 'a promise is a promise' and even if they have not 'officially' promised anyone else or their Gods to do a thing, they have made a promise to themselves. It is called commitment. Trustworthy people take commitments seriously. Not that Nature does not have a built-in tolerance for the occasional 'Oh, I overslept' moment.

And that brings us to the most difficult aspect of trust: Sometimes one just has to take a chance and trust oneself. When no information is available from which to draw a conclusion about a person, organization or plan of action, one simply must rely on one's own experience, judgment and/or intuition. If you have generally been right about reading people or have been successful in choosing which actions to perform in past situations, you can probably trust yourself to do the right here as well. And if that little nagging voice inside of you says "Uh-uh!" don't let your head-or anyone elses head- talk you into ignoring the inner-warning-system. There IS something that you have picked on-even if you can't explain it or prove it or put your finger on it-that is trying to tell you, "Not yet. Not now." Learning to trust yourself comes from experience, too-- and most of us have at one time or another mind-talked over that 'little voice' only to find out later that 'uh-uh' really meant 'run like that monster that you always knew lived under bed was nipping at your heels'! Yep! Put another notch in your trusty life-experience belt for that one.

Anyone-whether young or old, experienced or new, solitary or coven mate, naive or jaded, skittish or brave- can begin to build a new Circle of Trust. Show up. Be consistent. Honour another persons boundaries. Walk your talk. Be trustworthy. Do what you say that are going to do even if you don't always feel like doing it. Build a Circle of Trust in your area. It's simple really. Just start with yourself.

A Letter From God To Man

Hey There, how, how’s it going? 
Long time no see.
I know I haven’t been around much lately
But…it didn’t seem like you wanted me to be
The last time I sent down a message you nailed it to the cross
So I figured I’d just leave you to it, let you be your own boss

But I’ve been keeping an eye on you, I have, and it’s amazing how you’ve grown.
With your technological advances and the problems you’ve overthrown,
And all the beautiful art you’ve created with such grace and such finesse,
But I admit there are a few things I’m afraid have impressed me less.

So I’m writing to apologize for all the horrors committed in my name,
Although that was never what I intended, I feel I should take my share of the blame.
All the good I tried to do was corrupted when organised religion got into full swing,
What I thought were quite clear messages were taken to unusual extremes.
My teachings taken out of context to meet the agendas of others,
Interpretations taken to many different ways and hidden meanings discovered

Religion became a tool, for the weak to control the strong
With all these new morals and ethics, survival of the fittest was gone
No longer could the biggest man simply take whatever he needed ‘cause damnation was the price if certain rules were not heeded

Some of the deeds committed in my name just made me wonder were I went wrong.
Back at the start when I created this, the foundation seemed so strong.
See all the elements were already here, long before I began, I just kind of put it all together I didn’t really think out a long-term plan.

I made the sun an appropriate distance and laid the stars across the sky
So you could navigate the globe or simply watch the sun rise I covered the earth with plants and fruits,
Some for sustenance and some for beauty I made the sun shine and the clouds rain so their maintenance wasn’t your duty
I tried to give each creature its own attributes without making them enveloped
I gave you all you all your own space to grow and in your own way space to develop

I didn’t know such development would cause rifts and jealousy
Cause you to war against each other and leave marks on this planet indelibly
You see, I wasn’t really the creater, I was just the curator of nature
I want to get something straight with homosexuals right now: I don’t hate ya
I was a simple being that happened to be the first to wield such powers
I just laid the ground, it was You that built the towers

It was You that invented bombs, and the fear that comes with them
And it was You that invented money, and the corrupt economic systems
You invented terms like just-war and terms like friendly fire
And it was You that didn’t know when to stop digging deeper, when to stop building higher
It was You that exhausted the resources I carefully laid out on this earth,
And it was You that even saw these problems coming but accredited them little worth
It was You that used my teachings for your own personal gain
And it was You that committed such tragedies, even though they were in my name

So I apologize for any mistakes I made, and when my words misconstrued
But this apology’s to mother nature,
cause I created you

I Don't Wanna Be The Girl Who Has To Fill The Silence... (Do It Yourself.)

*basking in the glorious feeling of mornin lovin's*

Ok so that was a bit gratuitous... *laughs* I can't help but be happy...

So just wanted to jot down a quick entry before heading off to the land of the cleaning and planning...

cleaning because well... I do that now... every Saturday we clean up the house... all week I tidy up but the boys have to all pitch in and help on Saturday cleaning their room and their bathroom and their playroom... they hate it... but they enjoy the use of the playroom... so they do it...

the planning... that's a bit more fun... besides at some point today getting together and playing some games with the kids... I've been doing some write ups for a game... and planning not one, not two... but three rituals...

I'm so proud of the man child... he's inquired about learning more about what it is that we do... our beliefs and such... and he's also headed into puberty... so it is time... besides being baptized into the service of the God and Goddess as babies in a naming/dedication ceremony... there are other rites of passage that we go through... and as his birthday approaches it would seem that the man child is ready for his next rit... So as a proud pagan mama I'm planning and writing up his ritual that will be done by the man and some of the other men of the community... that and Imbolc is sneaking up on us, so I'm also writing that one...

I'm so excited to be a part of the planning of a new upcoming women's weekend that will be happening this fall... it's given me just one more thing to look forward too...

I'm also getting ready to take charge of a euchre tournament that will be a fundraiser for the distress centre... and of course my on-going work with the Lions and the planning of the upcoming convention...

busy busy busy... that's me... :D

I'm so proud of the change in the kids... that they're willing to do the cleaning that's needed... and not because they're getting money for it as they don't get an allowance but because they don't want to live as we were before... we praise the Gods every day that they didn't like that as well... moving here was like all of us waking up from a depression of sorts... and it was probably likely...

We've all been unplugging more often and spending more time together... and yes it's right... it's so much easier to look at this box and say 'enh maybe I'll do something later' ... and then just not sit down because of getting too busy with the family...

I can breathe... I don't feel all down and wishing I was somewhere else... I want to be here... with these people that I love immensely... *smiles* I can understand why people don't trust the relationships/friendships that are made online... so many of them are fake... the desperate flailing of depressed people seeking to get away from where they are at... those who can't/won't go to their getaway.. should just unplug and deal with life... it's way easier...

I chalk it all up to just another life experience that I can add to my catalog of experiences that I use when helping others...

*laughs* You know the times when you say things like "OMG I did that... don't bother... it's dumb, stupid, ridiculous, heartbreaking, not worth the time, bothersome..." you get the picture...

I think we've all done it at one point or another...

Anyway... I'm babbling now... so... time for food, cleaning, fun with the fam and then more planning... :)

Have a great weekend... and try unplugging from this box you'll find it easier then you thought...

Figments of The Over Emotional Imagination...

This is dedicated to those whom I've cut from my life without telling them why... and nor will I tell them why...

Ludo never loved Sarah for it was all a dream and in the end the Goblin King never had the baby... Sarah didn't love Ludo, she loved the idea of Ludo... Sarah had to grow up and do away with all the childish things...

That and I love the singing in this clip.

Don't wait til Valentine's Day...

I love my man...

More then anything else... I look at him and if I try to tell him how much I love him I end up getting all emotional and crying... I couldn't imagine being with anyone else... he's good to me, he's good with our children and so thoughtful toward others... he is a true blue through and through animal lover... and he does anything and everything he can to provide for his family even if he is sick or not in the greatest of health... he's a good father and is an excellent role model for the young gentlemen we're trying to raise... he also truly believes that all women are a Goddess...

how could I ever pass that up...

I don't know... but I did at one point... well I tried too... and it was the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life. .. I know this... I call it my 8 month long brain fart... we can joke about it now... but... it's because of where we are now as a couple...

I can't even imagine my life without him... I've "edited" my life (so to speak) of the people that were causing negative effects to myself and my family... our whole family is better and happier for it... those people we're bringing me down even though I didn't realize it... they would leave me drained... and addicted... I was addicted to them as if they were a nasty drug I couldn't shake...

So now I limit any contact with them and we're all happier for it... I've gotten my head back into the real world and am doing things that make me happy... my music, my art, my crafts, my kids... and my beautiful, sensitive, caring, compassionate love of my life...

The weird, geeky AV guy from highschool who never seemed to have a girlfriend and came across as possibly gay... *grins*