She Feels Like Kicking Out All The Windows...And Setting Fire To This Life

So quick before I have to do my hair for this meeting tonight...

The man asked me during a moment of weakness... would I be interested if we could get the start up would I be willing to open a store here in the city...

not sure what I was thinking... said yes.

So as you can imagine from my name 'The Witchdoctor' (given to me by a friend) and the content of my blog being very pagan in nature due to the fact.. oh hey look at me.. I'm a witch! ;)

it would be an occult shop... the city is seriously lacking one... there is a very new age type store on the west end of the city but it's over priced due to it being in a strip mall...

It would be nice to do... don't know about getting the start up for it though... *shrugs* filed away as something that may happen... we'll see...

I'm off to a meeting tonight at Lions... dressing up in last years costume... after I get home around midnight I'll be headed into the temple for a healing ritual I'm going to be doing for my friend who's heading to surgery tomorrow morning...

Scary ass shit... So I'll have a couple hours between meeting and ritual to just chill out and relax...

Alright... must go do my hair... glad I'm not doing this again on Friday...

Bitch Looks Like a Werewolf Wearing a Thong Sometimes

Look Ma No Sleep!! (oh yeah... and no hands!)

Yes ladies and gentlemen welcome to the 25th and 1/2 hour of me with no sleep...

people ask me how I do it... well it takes talent, perservereance, hard work, dedication and practice practice practice...

Now you may also ask "why do you do it?!"

Is it the fuzzy headed-ness that comes around hour 20 or so?

Is it the nausea that comes at hour 23?

Is it the muscle aches and pains that comes around hour 21?

or maybe...

Is it the heavy eye lids at hour 24 that keep ya doing it?

No kids... its the exhaustion...

It's making yourself get to that sweet point of exhaustion where you know that when you do finally slip into bed and know that as soon as you close your eyes nothing else will be in your mind but.. sleep.

Sweet... dreamless... restful sleep...

Sleep that doesn't let your mind wander because it's too busy trying to recoup...

I was going to say something about people coming to my blog and read it nearly daily who don't even care or like me anymore... but.. meh. too tired and not worth it...

I apparently am Bing-less til Wednesday... ick... meeting on Wed, ritual Wed night after said meeting... so yeah... maybe Thursday then... I think I just cried a little at that thought... *sighs*

I just got side tracked checking my mail. Wow for like 10 minutes.

Seriously think it might be time to get some sleep....

Oh here's some fun.. Friday is the Witches Ball... and Saturday is Samhain... trick or treating... ritual... big feast... fun fun fun...

*looks at above statement, and then the above the above the above statement and shakes her head*

*yawns* ... yeah... laters.

Enh... started listening to ICP and decided to push through the tired as long as I can... longest is four days... should I go for a win and pass that?

there's like a tonne I want to write about... but ... just can't figure out how to say it... all kinds of shit spinnin' and flippin' around in my head... bah anyway...

Driving Fast Now... Don't Think I Know How To Go Slow

Well it's official... the man and I have given up... after just over 2 years of trying to have a baby we've throw in the towel so to speak... it's probably for the best... but still bugs me...

For two years it's killed me when I've found out others around me are pregnant or just had babies... and then I torture myself by actually listening to them tell me all about it instead of quietly excusing myself from the conversations when deep down inside all I wanted to do was scream at them to shut up... I think I've done rather well...

The pain hurts so bad... my heart is broken right now... I'm not feeling well and I just want to crawl into bed and sleep until I can't anymore... But unfortunately I have a class tonight... distractions... right, mi amor?

*sighs* So I pull up my big girl panties and suck it up, buck up and keep my chin up... miss any cliches there? ... Yeah I've been doing that for two years... I'm sick of hiding behind the mask of calm, cool, serene, unwaivering... I would like to just wallow for just a few stinking moments without someone telling me it's going to be alright... or that it'll be ok... I just want someone to hold me so I can cry it out of my system... without them trying to make me feel better... to just be there with a shoulder... or two...

An hour and a half wait down at the medical centre to have less then a five minute appointment to pretty much say there's nothing else without referring us to the centre in Hamilton... yeah.. no... so walked home and tried to not think about it too much...

So now... I haven't slept at all... I'm looking at the clock and thinking 'shit class in 5 hours... So I need to drag my 'happy' ass to get some sleep... I think I"m coming down with something again... who knows... maybe more trips to the hospital are in my future...

And I Realize I'm Never Gonna Quit You Over Time

It was seven years ago today that my familiar died in my arms... his name was Ares and he was the best cat in the world...

There has been a few times when I go to talk to Oynx (my cat now) and I've accidentally called him Airball... or Ares.. or one of the many other name I had for Ares... I end up apologizing to Oynx but he comes to all of Ares' nicknames and just cants his head to the side when I slip and call him Ares.

In the seven years since Ares died I've had other cats, even other black cats that I never slipped and called them Ares... it's only ever happened with Oynx.

I had almost forgotten all about the anniversary of Ares' death until Oynx (doing something very un-Oynx like) jumped up into my lap last night and curled up to go to sleep. Generally when Onnie wants to lay on me he climbs up on my chest or shoulders or back of my chair. Last night he very quietly curled up in my lap and didn't even seem to mind me tap tap tapping away on the keyboard beside his ear. He stayed like that long enough that my legs actually started to hurt because I hadn't moved them in so long.

that's it for now... have to go get ready to go for womens circle tonight...

My Life Would Suck Without You

Long day today...

did a house cleansing with the man and a friend of ours... there was a fair amount of yuckiness coming from the one end of the house... so we're downstairs and grandma comes home... I'm thinking 'oh crap' now we have to explain what's going on... why the house is full of smudge smoke... the friend we were doing it with/for just greeted her grandmother and told her what we were doing... 'a house blessing'... well that's exactly what we were doing... the grandmother is extremely religious as a roman catholic and she's 94... I found the grandmother to be quite open about what we were doing when explained that we were asking God to bless the house and all the people who reside in it... also found out that she enjoyed a lovely lunch with her brother at red lobster... *laughs*

came home and relaxed... talked to Krammit... whined to her a bit about present situations... got the pat on the back and the 'keep your eye on the prize' talk... *chuckles*

got ready for my meeting...

Went and told them my ideas and told them about the forum... they seemed to like the talk I gave... I dunno...

I ended up signing up to be the one up dating the website for the club... more work but at least work I don't have to get up from my desk to do...

back home did some stuff on the game...

talked to my Bing... for not nearly as I would have liked too... but totally not going to complain about the hour I did get... my new mantra... I'm happy with the time I get... yeah if I keep repeating that enough hopefully it'll come true... *laughs*

keeping my eye on the big prize... enjoying the now... looking toward the future...

the man is sick... migraine and sick... not a pretty sight... though he seemed to be feeling much better today... helped with the house cleansing... that made me very happy...

the kidlets are both good... man child got a hair cut... says he didn't like his pictures so he's going to get retakes done at school... wouldn't even let me see the proofs that came in...

boy child got his proofs in but we think we may go with retakes and take our chances... he said he'll try to do a better smile this time... *laughs* he didn't really smile at all... no dimples showing nothing...

I've been having some problems sleeping lately... but I'm fairly certain that I know what that's from and if that's the case then I'll be having sleeping issues for at least another six months.... :(