Love Is...

This is so cute... That's Love :) ;)

Sharing Time

One of my deepest darkest fears that I've ever had would be that I would one day come to find out that I have breast cancer...
I'm not writing to tell you that, that day has come... I'm writing and telling you this because I think nowadays lots of women have this same fear...
it's not always in the forefront of their mind, but I think every once in awhile... maybe especially while doing the monthly breast exam in the shower or as you face yourself in the mirror before you get dressed... it's there right at the front...
when you see it in the movies someone who has survived or someone who hasn't...
all of a sudden it's there.. in your mind...

but when my mind calms down after worrying about everything else in my life and after worrying about my friends... I worry about it... I don't smoke anymore... but that's not the only way to get cancer...

It's not just because I happen to like my breasts, or that I really like my hair, or that I don't want to be in that much pain, or that I don't want to die...
It's because of all of them...

Some say I worry too much... others feel I don't worry enough... and a couple even think I don't worry about the things that I should worry about...

so now you know one of my deep dark secrets...


I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

Little Update

So it seems like forever since I posted anything here worth reading.. or worth commenting to apparently.... yeah I know but earlier this morning does count...

I haven't made any posts about the deaths that have happened... on purpose or otherwise...
I guess because they don't really affect my world all that much...

It's not that I haven't been online... and it hasn't been that I don't have the time... I make time for other things I want to do.. I guess it's just that I haven't had much to say... and maybe I've had somethings to say but nobody would care... or even if they did care it may have been stuff that I can't share... oh yeah you know that there's stuff I keep from you... ;)

I have been working a lot.. that has been consuming a lot of my time... for those who I've not told I have a job at home where I've been doing data entry... I'm subcontracted to the Canadian division of an American company that processes mail in rebates.... so all you Americans that have to send mir's to Niagara Falls New York.... yeah I process the ones that come into that p. o. box...
so be nice ;) just joking... anyway... pay's not the greatest but it helps us out...

Raistlan heads back to work in a couple of weeks... *dances around* don't get me wrong I love my man... he's smart and intelligent and witty and takes good care of me and loves me like no other... but he's a pain in the ass sometimes ... *laughs* Try living with your loved one in the house 24/7 for 5 months ;) you get a bit tired of each other after awhile...
I love you baby... but I can't wait til you get back to work... ;)

So talking about how great my man is... he's been so great these last few weeks... I've been sick since a week or so before Christmas... coughing and stuffed up and achey and blah... he's been making all the meals and running to the drug store for halls and kleenex... Keenan and he have both felt the effects as well... they both got a touch of it... but thankfully they're able to use decongestants... I however can not... with having th SVT I can't or the decongestant throws my heart into a fit... and Lords know that we don't need my heart fucking up anymore than it does already...
So yeah this is probably why I'm still sick... but fear not good blog readers... I'm going to the doctors tomorrow... why you ask... because if I don't I'll wonder and well Jamie's been buggin me to go and get checked out... poor guy.. he's heard me at my worst... barely being able to breathe and what not... and since I love my friends and value their opinions... I'm off to the doctors tomorrow... :D

*sighs*
well I have nothing earth shattering or controversial to say.. so I think I'm gonna take my sick and lazy ass to go snuggle with two of my three boys that just went to go lay down...

oh and no I didn't do a new years resolution...but if you did... let's hear 'em ;)

Well Said