Sharing Time

One of my deepest darkest fears that I've ever had would be that I would one day come to find out that I have breast cancer...
I'm not writing to tell you that, that day has come... I'm writing and telling you this because I think nowadays lots of women have this same fear...
it's not always in the forefront of their mind, but I think every once in awhile... maybe especially while doing the monthly breast exam in the shower or as you face yourself in the mirror before you get dressed... it's there right at the front...
when you see it in the movies someone who has survived or someone who hasn't...
all of a sudden it's there.. in your mind...

but when my mind calms down after worrying about everything else in my life and after worrying about my friends... I worry about it... I don't smoke anymore... but that's not the only way to get cancer...

It's not just because I happen to like my breasts, or that I really like my hair, or that I don't want to be in that much pain, or that I don't want to die...
It's because of all of them...

Some say I worry too much... others feel I don't worry enough... and a couple even think I don't worry about the things that I should worry about...

so now you know one of my deep dark secrets...


I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind