Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Sticky Words

Sometimes someone will say something to you and it will just stick with you. You try to shake it off or convince yourself that it's not true, but it doesn't matter how hard you try, you just can't shake it.

A month ago in a moment of frustration and anger someone called me a selfish bitch.

It was like a slap in the face with cold water while someone shoved a knife in my back.

I put others first, I try to help them however I can, and I always try to consider their feelings.

So to be called selfish, wounded me. I was hurt by someone who said they would never want to hurt me.
By someone who continually hurts my feelings without thought or perhaps without knowing or maybe without caring.

I talk myself into thinking that they care about me and that if push came to shove that they would have my back. But...would they?

I asked them if they really did think I was selfish. It's been awhile since they called me that and I wanted to see if they really did.

They said no after seeming a bit surprised by the question.

It helped a bit with the nagging part of my brain that kept me wondering if that's how they truly see me.

There's very few people whose opinions matter to me, this person is one. It sucks that there is some days where I'm left wondering whether or not they even like me.

So many times they barely look at me or talk to me and yet...there's other times where they make me feel like the most important person.

It's a crazy head game that needs to stop being played.

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