Oh Suzy Q.

It was by some very interesting circumstances that we became friends in the first place... we had met a few times and knew of each other yet it was by someone else's mistake that we got together and ended up 'coming clean' about a few things that we had been led to believe about each other that we opened up and became friends.

We started doing a lot of stuff together. From going for tea, to hanging out and watching a movie, to doing pagan rituals, which led to pagan retreats, joining roller derby and being there whenever one of us needed the other to do something, to ask about life stuffs, to talk about cooking or just needed to offload or vent about bullshit.

It used to make me very uncomfortable to use the term 'best friend' it makes it seem like that person is better then all others. Well I suppose in some respects your best friend does definitely stand out from the others. I never knew anyone who had more then 2 best friends before. I myself had my best friend, my Krammity Jane. I thought you were really only allowed one. Or at least one at a time. Never had I met someone who had like 5. Nor did I think someone who already had 4 or 5 would come to think of me as another one of their best friends.

Alas, it happened. I never thought I really fit into the group and in some ways I still don't (tonight was a slight example of that). However, I was never left feeling that way for long, Burton always knows how to make someone feel included and special even whilst in the midst of a large group.

It's Saturday the 14th at the moment. I just got home a little while ago from having a sushi dinner with Burton, Nickle, Bella and two Nicole's. Sort of started as The Man's idea when he told me that I could use the last of the money we had to ask Burton if she'd be up for a sushi (another in this case) before she left. She (and The Nerd) leave on Monday and we won't see her again until Thanksgiving, sure it's only a month or so away but it's a case of she's going to be on the other side of another country for a month, and then after a bit of a weekend here she'll be going back there without knowing when she'll be back or when I might be able to afford to go see her.

This is someone I've gotten used to seeing at least once week, and talking to pretty much everyday (via texts).
Someone, with whom, I've had no problem publicly admitting is 'my wife' even in front of our husbands, perhaps especially in front of our husbands.
I know lots of people are going to miss 'My' Burton, and I won't even have the ego to say I'll miss her the most while she's gone, but I will definitely have some huge adjusting to do.

I went and helped her and The Nerd (with The Man) clean up Casa de Awesome (the house they just moved out of) and teared up a bit as I pulled out of the drive knowing there'd be no more curling up in the Cave of Awesome to watch movies, playing games or just hanging with a cup of tea...there'd be no more fires in the back yard, roasting weinies or making s'mores...no more sitting in the office as she sorts through the latest of her Scentsy orders that came in that she'll have to deliver (possibly with me keeping her company)...no more fashion shows that start in the bedroom and move out to the kitchen where there's 'better light' for pictures... no more sitting in the kitchen washing her do the dishes as we talk about everything...

People have been doing the 'She'll be back'... 'There's always Skype'... 'You can go visit'... Which yes, those are correct, those things will be happening... but it's not the same as me getting a random text with a 'hey what are you doing right now? want to go to the grocery store with me?' text and dropping whatever it was that I was doing and jumping in the car with her, only to return like 3 hours later...

Things are changing. We all know how change works. It sucks, then will sometimes start to get better. Shakes you up just enough to make you make a decision about what's going on in or with your life.

I just really wish it wasn't happening this month... of all the months this one already sucks pretty hard for me right now. Which I only really complain or talk to one person about so as to not disrupt the rest of everyone else's lives with my own personal crap.

Tomorrow there's a group of us going to the Racetrack (horse), I've not been there since 2009, when Bing was here. I'm glad there's a group of us going, it'll be fun. Even bringing the minions with us.

Tomorrow I say goodbye, good luck and safe trip to my wife before she gets on a plane with her hubs on Monday morning.

Then I immerse myself into the busy-ness that have made my life...and perhaps have a longer cry then I did while typing this up.