Outsiders are Dangerous.

I had an interesting conversation the other day with Martin (boarder staying with us). We were discussing relationships and the biggest issue that will ever come up and the biggestthing that will cause hardships in any relationship.

A relationship is any sort of connection between two people who know each other. Mother and son, son and father, boyfriend and girlfriend, lovers, room mates, even casual acquaintances...

The biggest thing to come between two people, to put doubts in their minds, to make them think twice about the other person, to make them wonder by placing thoughts in their minds... People.

Other people that aren't in the relationship. Perhaps out of jealousy...usually out of some sort of selfishly motivated jealousy.

There are genuine people out there that do actually hope for your happiness...they may even believe that them saying things about the other person is for that persons 'own good'.

What they don't realize is people are selfishly motivated...even if they don't realize it.

Sisters telling brothers that they're choice in friends is questionable. Sons telling mothers that their new boyfriend is a doofus. Best friends telling each other that their choice of significant other is sketchy. Daughters telling fathers that they don't feel right about his new girlfriend.

He said, She said games should never be played.

This is why I'm an advocate for open and honest communication with those whom you deem important in your life.

I have surprised friends with how frank I can be with them. Some people it has offended and turned them on their ear, those that stayed have been the ones that have told me that they appreciate my honesty, even if sometimes can be brutal. And they've even found it somewhat refreshing...lol

Other peoples opinions should never influence your opinion of someone else. Be an adult and form your own judgements and opinions about those you let into your life. Get to know them for who they are and how they make you feel and how they are to you.

Especially if outside people are offering you their insights without your asking them for the opinion.

The only way to cultivate true and meaningful relationships with everybody...is honest interactions.

Not just honest as in lying. Honest as in being true to who you are with others. Take the time to listen, truly listen, when they are talking to you. 

Always believing that people have nefarious motives or aren't being honest, is paranoid and self harming. You will end up with no real true friends, that is a tragedy.