You Usually Only Do That When You're Mad About Something

Sometimes Mom helps and she doesn't realize it...

I've been out of sorts lately, haven't wanted to talk to anyone about anything, let alone anything that might make me mad, upset, down,....well anything that will make me feel.

Walking around with southly blues I left today to go down to the office, sure had a bit of a cry before I left, had something in my eye, watched a sad movie, listened to a sad song... whichever you want to go with all would apply... to an extent.

Either way you slice it I was down... I go downstairs to meet mom at said time for my ride... I get into the car and she has Stompin' Tom Connors playing loudly... I can't help but to smirk even now.
(any Canadians reading this should know who I'm talking about and will most likely smirk as well)

He was just what I needed. In this extremely Americanized place in my extremely Americanized mind... Stompin' Tom came in and made me smile.

How do you know when you're truly happy? how do you know if you've ever been happy? how do you know that you will be happy?

Happy. It seems such a foreign concept.

The Americans aren't making me happy, none of them. It's not their job too, yet for some reason I seem to think that it is.

The last couple of days I've compared people to cigarettes... Sometimes you find a brand that you like the taste of but after a couple of packs you realize that it's annoying you now. Sometimes you find a brand that tastes great that doesn't annoy you but is slowly killing you just like the rest.
You hate to quit on that last brand because they have a great product and you enjoy it but like the rest of them you have to quit... not the 10 years drags on and everyone hears how you're trying so hard to quit ... the I am quitting right now and tossing the pack and doing it cold turkey.

Have you ever tried to go cold turkey on a human being?

Especially one who gives a damn about you?
*sighs* yeah me either...

It's just so... harsh.

You cannot possibly love me as much as you say you do and continue to do to me what you do.
Disregard me again and the wall around my heart towards you will be complete.
I cannot and should not live like this.
You claim to love me yet disregard me and what I have to say.
At least I know where the Prig and I stand and there are no false promises or false hopes.