I'd Be Willing To Change The World For You... Would You For Me?

Today is a good day to sit back and remember.

Not just all those who have died in the wars and fights around the world, not just the soldiers who call our country home...

But it's a good time to sit back and reflect on how it is that we treat others... Would those who have sacrificed themselves for a more peaceful world be proud of the way we treat each other?

Would they take pride in the generations that came after them? or would they shake their heads in disgust at the pettiness, the selfishness, the shallowness that goes around?

Today I sat back and I looked at all the status messages on all the different social and networking sites that I belong too and seeing the majority of them reflecting and begging us and telling us ... Remember Them! ... I remember them every time that I as a pagan woman sits down to gather with my friends and loved ones for pagan rituals... I remember them all... those that stood up and fought so that others couldn't come and take our rights from us, those who fought to give us more rights, those who came before us in all aspects of our lives that fought their way through lives so that their children could grow up in a world that they wanted for themselves but would never see.

I remember the stories of the wars, the burnings, the hunts, the inquistions... I remember and I cringe... I cringe at how we as human beings deal with one another... holding grudges over petty differences... nattering about each other... taking offense in small things that in the grande scheme of things is nothing... is a spot of dust next to world wide problems...

I know we're not perfect and I know damn well I'm not perfect... but enough is enough... you tell me to remember, you tell me to honour, you tell me to take pride... all of us need to do it... all of us need to find those things in ourselves... all of us need to remember what hurts us hurts others as well...

This Rememberance Day... I sat here in my house for near 10 minutes in silence... the birds, the cats, the man... everyone was silent. In those minutes as they ticked by I did acknowledge and thank from my heart those veterans, all veterans, from all wars... and I was disappointed in myself and for others, as I also sat and remembered all the petty bickering, fussing, nattering and bitching that's been going on around lately... I was sad that for all the lives that have been taken, given and mourned, even for those who fought and still came home again... no one takes the time to stop and thank them every day, by honouring them every day to strive to be the best human being you could to show that this is a world worth fighting for... to show that this is a world worth stopping the wars for... it all starts at home...

It all starts with being kind to others... to loving each other... to just being polite to one another... I sound like some preachy hippie I know but there is truth in it... it's not some sort of profound knowledge that has been tucked away... it's everything you learned in kindergarten... be nice to one another... dont hit any one... share your toys with one another... use your words...

So sit back and if you didn't do it at 11 this morning do it now... sit there in silence... complete silence... and think to yourself how can I be a person worth saving the world for...

I did. I am. and I think you're all worth saving the world for, so I'm willing to change to make it so.

who will dry the tears of the scared lil boy?

whose killed for his country and will have to do more..

who will dry the tears of the scared lil boy?

whose all alone in his own four walls...

who will dry the tears of the scared lil boy?

who won't show that he's scared no matter what happens...

who will dry the tears of the scared lil boy?

whose best friend is alcohol and smokes too much in a day...

who will dry the tears of the scared lil boy?

whose afraid if you get to close you'll hate him inside...

who will dry the tears of the scared lil boy?

who puts on the act so that you won't go away...

who will dry the tears of the scared lil boy?

when he can't come home for he's been deployed...

who will dry the tears of the scared lil boy?

I don't know who...will you?

He won't show you he's scared...or tired of being alone...he wants someone there everytime he comes home...He won't show you himself for he won't look inside and realize there's no reason to hide...People love him and he doesn't understand why.

who will dry the tears of this lil scared boy when he realizes he's not a lil boy?

... not even listening to music ...

Sometimes I have one of those days where I sit and wonder all day long why I even bothered to get out of bed...

I know we all have those days...



I woke up to a message to me in my inbox of someone complaining about and talking about someone else. Had to deal with that one.
I then in the midst of my afternoon had the someone else that was referred to in the mentioned message above knock on my door and need to talk about the person who sent the message.
After thinking about the situation I sat down and wrote them both one email, stressing that whatever is going on is not nearly as important as the community that needs them. And should they want to I'm available to talk with both over a tea to get it all straightened out once and for all...

So after that... I log on to some blah-ness on the game... deal with that stuff... realize that I'm not even in a frame of mind to play let's pretend and escape into game time... especially after she decides to page me which leaves me sitting here frowning at my screen going 'wtf does she want?' - he figures she just totally forgot who I was in game... uh huh... sure.

I find myself sitting here clicking on facebook games that have no rhyme or reason and are just mind numbingly boring...while chatting away with Bing... good times... then after a small bout of jealousy rearing up... he's off finding food for over an hour...while I sit here dozing... to have him come back so angry about something that happened while he was afk that he's found that he can't even sit and talk to me because he was so angry he couldn't be coherent... talk about colouring me surprised...

So I've been left with this shitty feeling because of really... everyone else's bad day...

Tomorrow's Sunday... I'm wondering if I should just not chance it and stay in bed until Tuesday... because my Saturday just felt like a Monday... big time...

*sighs* I'm going to bed. fuck this shit.

Te quiero papi ... I love you fry guy ...

Happy Hour, Happy Hour... Happy Hour Is Here

Couple of anniversaries just happened...

The man and I had our anniversary on the 31st... 11 years now we've been together... and we couldn't be happier right now... (well we could use some money to pay off some bills... but yeah...)

and we've now been in this house for 1 whole year... we've enjoyed this house.. we've been able to do what we've wanted to do for quite sometime... had rituals here, womens circle, gatherings, classes... etc.

We moved into this house on Nov 1... it took us nearly 4 days to move in... it was just the man and I loading the moving truck and unloading the moving truck... and both of us were so ill that we could barely lift anything heavier then say 10 lbs.... that made moving difficult to say the least.
The boys helped as much as they could but they're just young.

In this past single year so much has happened that I couldn't even begin to sit down and cover it all...

between people who have come into our lives and people I've taken out of our lives... our health has been good... I've not been getting quite as sick as I was before. Though when I have they've landed me in the hospital so yeah... have to keep from getting sick.

Think it's about time to get my arse up stairs though and clean out the spare bedroom. Set it up as an actual bedroom... I guess I had been holding off because I was hoping to be setting it up as a nursery. Since that doesn't seem to be happening I think we'll definitely get a futon and some more shelves and stuff... get all our books in there and maybe a small dresser and use it as a guest room/library... I have to reorganize my craftroom... maybe steal the trunk the kids aren't using and put all my material and fabrics in there... right now they seem to be all over the place...
Also need to get up there and do a major clean out of the kids toys... so many just laying about and with Yule time coming they're probably going to get more... that and a lot of the time they're just not playing with the toys... especially the manchild... being 12 now.

*sighs* oy... so much work to do...

So the oddness of the past few days seems to have passed this morning...
The last few days I've been waking up at exactly 9:44am. To add to it I've been 'go to bed' tired by about 10 or so pm...
So this morning I woke up at... 7:34am... yay! ... not really... I'm sitting here very very tired... I don't want to go back to bed for a nap because I want to be able to sleep tonight... but at the same time if I don't take a nap then I'll end up in bed at 9pm which would suck since I have a meeting tonight...

Samhain was awesome... had a great ritual here at the house with friends and family...
I'm feeling that since it's been a year I'm going to go ahead and change the temple up a bit... So in the next few days I'll be going ahead and doing that... I feel bad for the man... that usually means me in there with a drill and needing help moving furniture...

Think I may get started today while not doing much else...

but first I link food would be in order...


Je t'aime, mes hommes. <3