Wednesday, April 30, 2014

It Is Possible...

One of the things that I've sort of prided myself on is the fact that if I love someone I love them unconditionally...

Most people don't believe that...and I was finally put to the real test as to whether or not I truly do love without conditions...


I've had a lot of hurtful things done to me and still end up having love in my heart for those that have done those wrongs to me...


However... the big test came in January when I found out that my ex was up on charges (almost 40 of them to be more specific - 27 counts of sexual abuse of a child, single counts each of continual sexual abuse of a child, sexual exploitation of a child, and providing alcohol to an under age person, five counts of sexual solicitation of a child, and two counts each of endangering the welfare of a child and unlawfully administering drugs.)


The response from everyone was understandably 

negative...hateful...disappointment...anger...disgust...shock...

I was stunned... and confused... and first thought that there must be some sort of mistake... I wanted to talk to him and find out what happened...


I would still like to talk to him at some point... I don't want to say the hateful things to him that other people do... I want him to know that I disagree with what he did... that I hope he's finding help... and that I will still be his friend.


I'm disappointed in him, shocked by what he did, and sad that he has ruined the rest of his life, but...there is still love in my heart for him.


It's taken quite a bit of processing for me to realize that yes I'm angry at him, but that I do not hate him.


I feel like I should hate him... but I can't force that... I do not condone what he did.


He's helped me too much to turn my back on him completely.




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