Sometimes it's just about having someone there, just some company, someone you can lean on in times of trouble, in times of heartache, in times of darkness.
When the cloud of darkness shades your day it's nice to have the one person who can bring a bit of brightness to your moment.
There's quite a bit of darkness that will shade me some days and very few that will bring me the brightness.
It's too bad that they don't understand what they do for me.
It's my first Fathers Day without Al. It's a bit weird of me to think of that. He and my mum had only been together for a decade. He and I weren't exactly close, but really for that decade he was there for me when my own father was off doing who knows what, with who knows who...
Biff, even though I didn't see him often was like a father...grandfather... I loved sitting and talking with him. He was genuinely interested in what was happening in my life and knew immediately when I was bullshitting just for the sake of being polite, and he would call me on it as well. Then tell me to tell him the truth. He made the time for me.
Was hoping for a bright spot in my shade...was hoping to be a bright spot in someone elses shade...
I will not pretend to know what it's like to not have my father on fathers day... I haven't had mine for quite a few.
And I've lost some of my favourite father figures.
I'm tired of Hallmark holidays getting me down.
Must try to not let them get to me anymore.
Rest In Peace to our Forefathers.
I'm not dead... :)
I thoroughly enjoyed Fridays game...a lot more then most games I've played in.
I was on team Gayme Changers (the other team was Wheels of Equality...bit rubbish name but enh). I was absolutely fucking tickled pink to find out that I was going to be on the same team as Fraxxure. She gives me lady boners in my derby shorts.
I was nervous as hell. Like genuinely scared. I don't tend to tell too many people those sorts of things especially when it's happening. Too vulnerable.
There was really only two people that I let on to that I was scared. SB and Bing.
SB had told me a couple weeks beforehand that he wouldn't be coming to the game. Saw him the night before and got a really nice massage from him after having some pho together. It helped calm my nerves a bit. He never really does the 'you can do it' sort of bit...but doesn't tell me I can't either...lol
I messaged him in the late morning while he was at work (figuring he'd get the msg later) just telling him how I was really bloody nervous.
Long and short of it...he ends up telling me he's gonna go...and then even offered to drive (does have a spiffy lil car now...) colour me surprised. It was really nice of him. Even now it still calms my nerves to see him trackside. Friendly face and all, especially when most of my friends play or volunteer.
Before I knew SB was coming I ended up talking to Bing on the phone... it's been nearly 3 years since we've spoken on the phone.
It was a bit like old times...ended up telling him how bloody scared I was of the game later that evening.
He calmed me down by doing his whole 'this isn't anything you haven't done before' talk...which was sweet.
My aunt and uncle didn't make it to the game unfortunately...all the traffic that my waze app got us around on our way up...they hit. So they ended up turning around.
The game was great fun. The halftime drag show was awful...the girls needed better lessons in makeup and needed to learn their songs better. Hopefully with some more practice they'll be better.
The car ride was even fun with 3 of my favourite dudes...
However there's something I'm noticing... I'm incredibly horny for a couple of days after playing in a game.
Something that I didn't really have a problem with last season...this season though... having a harder time scratching that particular itch.
It's been annoying and slightly frustrating.
Going to have to find an after bouts bloke apparently.
Oh well... next game is this coming Saturday... first home game with my brand new team. Should be fun.
Practices, scrimmages, and games...oh my!
There's also team meetings, league meetings and committee meetings...oh joy.
This week is yet another derby filled week...
Mondays I'm running an NSO training clinics each week to teach volunteers the non-skating official positions...
Tuesdays I have practice.
Wednesday (this week) I have a Team Meeting
Thursday is practice/scrimmage night
Friday...oooo Friday I have a game in Kitchener.
Other weeks I'll have a league meeting or a committee meetings on a Wednesday.
I am in desperate need of a massage...so...something may have to give this week so that I can barter to get one.
I love derby and it's been a saving grace in my life...from Bing to SB...to dealing with all the deaths...to just staying active...
Sometimes it just starts to take over my life...and I'm thinking it might just take over my June...
If I get a spot in all the games that I've put my name in for I'd be playing on the 5th, 13th, 20th, 25th, and 27th...
So far 5th is confirmed...13th and 27th are my home team games...20th would be an away home team game in Ajax/Durham and the 25th would be a pick up game in Toronto...
I'm really excited.
I also think I'm a bit crazy.
Glad Pinky is taking me to the gym every week day...gotta get this mass into some shape...
Also need to find somewhere to get some rest and relaxation...
