Forgetting Has Nothing To Do With Forgiving.

Sometimes in stressful times or times of duress the best way to be is numb. Shut down and make it so you don't feel anything so that you can make sure that you're paying attention to what needs to be done decision wise.

I've found that you lose all feelings, including the feeling of thirst and hunger. The actual sense of touch dulls as well. The feeling of being tired is lost as well. If you can use the word feel to describe it and then shut yourself down to 'feeling' and become numb, it all does.

I haven't felt tired for days, and barely slept as well. When I did sleep I was restless.
I haven't been hungry, and have barely eaten. When I did, I felt full after a couple of bites and stopped.
I had an itch the other day and started scratching it, I barely felt it, until I realized I was completely raw in that spot.

I fell asleep last night while watching a movie with my boys, I woke up when the alarm went off. This morning at 7:25am.
I had finally yesterday after talking to a friend of mine given myself permission to be ok again. To feel whatever came my way. I realized during that conversation that although I thought I had shut down all my feelings, I still managed to be hurt during the course...

I awoke this morning with a thirst that knotted my stomach and made my body feel like sand. I awoke and realized I hadn't eaten a meal in days. I also awoke with a pain on my arm.

I'm cooking myself some breakfast and on to my second bottle of water in the last three hours.
Been laying down reading my book, talking with the boys, and probably hitting the shower after breakfast. I haven't checked my email even once worrying about whether or not anyone even noticed I wasn't around last night. Somehow I already know there's nothing there.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. ~Mahatma Gandhi