Sonuva....!

So...

Bing broke me. Asshat.

I had my doubts and suspicions about it but after yesterday I know now that he definitely broke me.

I have been having some difficulties when having relations with the Man, which I have written about already...but those have been slowly getting better and going away.

However when committed to Bing I hadn't really gone to any of my 'Friends with Benefits'...mainly because before Bing had been somewhat jealous at times, which because I know that can even be hard to admit let alone hard to handle I was staying away from others out of respect to him...not to say I always did I did meet up with the Major once this last year...

So how do I know that I'm broken?

I went to go see the Major yesterday, we got together to take some pics and some recreational fun...we always have a good time together because both of us are completely blunt, honest and straight forward...we can have conversations about shit that bothers us without the other one taking it to heart or taking it personally...I can talk about what parts of me I'm uncomfortable with so that while we're taking photos he knows...and him saying things like...move this way, it's a little more flattering because of that fold of skin right there...doesn't bother me like it would from some one else...

After taking some photos we had some fun...well... tried too...

I tried to get into it but I wasn't getting lost like I normally would (found that with the Man a few times too)...and as embarrassing as this is to admit...kept drying up...

That's the part that shocked me...the most... I have never in my life had that happen to me before...ever.

So yeah that was disconcerting a bit...I know/knew that I wasn't completely ready to be out playing with others as of yet but sort of wanted to throw myself back into 'the game' so to speak...

I know he didn't do it on purpose...hell probably didn't even realize how much cutting him out would hurt...but it still was him...

I'm glad now that I hadn't taken up someone else I knew on the offer a month ago...if I was having this much of a problem yesterday I can't imagine what last month would have been like.

But anyway... we took some awesome shots yesterday and I really kind of can't wait to share a couple of them...

I won't share too many of them...would hate to weird out Burton...lol

More to come about other stuffs...

Kind of feel like this deep down today...