miss me?
computer has been dying more quickly now.... it sucks.... my connection has been great... the omputer itself I think is trying to die... and we won't let it... I pretty much need a new motherboard and cpu.... which of course is like saying I need a new engine for a car...
not much happening... I have had both boys all this last week for March Break... dayum I forgot about how much they are a handful when they get together... Gambit has made me so mad a couple of times this week where it concerns Keenan... he gives him this superior type attitude and talks down to him.. and treats him like he's stupid... he's barely even four yet... poor kid... so I've had to talk to him a few times about not doing that... and he better be careful one day his brother may be the only person he's got.... he didn't like that cause I was insinuating that I may die... oh well... I have no idea how to get him to understand that his brother loves him and therefore should be treated with respect.... Squirrel I know you have a few boys... how do you handle this type of thing???
work has been great... I've been getting into a lot of "discussions" with my supervisor... you know... The Major... about some of the stuff at work.... you know... good ol office politics ;)
oh yeah and I've been able to go home early almost everyday this week.... and I've also taken Mondays off my schedule... YAY!! no working mondays is a good thing people shall live!!
I swear my boobs have gotten bigger... either that or I'm getting smaller in other areas and my boobs just aren't shrinking....
I've been a happy girl this week... Rasitlan bought some batteries for some of the kids toys and mine as well :)
I'm trying to type this as fast as I can before my computer dies so if I forget anything... I apologize ;)
I miss you all...
I miss not being able to stay on for any length of time... and chat with the bunch of you that I would normally...
May you all get drunk and stupid on green beer and may the road rise to meetcha and smack ya right in the kisser ;)
I hate St Patricks Day ;)
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Saturday, March 12, 2005
We Stand On Guard For Thee....
It didn't really hit me til I saw the ages of them... and learned of their families... the born and unborn children that they had... the news spread across the nation like wildfire...
Four Mounties Slain...
sure when people find out I'm Canadian I get the "you hoser eh" jokes... and the "ooh don't call the mounties on me" jokes... or the "say aboot for me" jokes....or my least favourite "you're from Canadia eh?....*pause* well if Americans are from America, Canadians must be from Canadia"
I'm not exactly sure why this story bothers so much... i mean we've all started getting accustomed to people dying or being killed everyday... just watch the news... I can't even really begin to think of why it affects me so much.... I don't have family members that are Mounties... I never wanted to be one... I don't have any friends that are Mounties or wanted to be one...
I think it makes me so mad because... when someone thinks of Canada one of the things that is specific to just Canada is the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.... it their beautiful red coats, and big hats....
they are one of the symbols of pride in Canada.... to be Canadian and see a RCMP whether it be on tv or in person... one feels atleast a small surge of pride....
I've never really claimed to be patriotic... but I guess deep down inside I truly am... and I spit on the grave of the dirt bag that shot those four officers.... his own father didn't even go to his funeral.... he got lucky... shooting/killing himself was the easy way out for him... if he hadn't have killed himself someone somewhere would have probably killed him while he slept in prison...
so I guess this is my own lil tribute or my own lil newsreport to you... or just my lil place to vent... I introduce to you the four honourable RCMP officers who were gunned down....
Reg. 48064, Cst. Peter Christopher SCHIEMANN, 25, was born at Petrolia, Ontario, and joined the Force at Stony Plain, Alberta. Upon completion of training at “Depot” in Regina, Saskatchewan, on November 27, 2000, Cst. Schiemann was posted to “K” Division, Alberta, namely at Mayerthorpe Detachment, where he worked in General Policing and Highway Patrol
Reg. 48568, Cst. Lionide Nicholas JOHNSTON, 32, joined the Force at Lac La Biche, Alberta, where he was born, and graduated from “Depot” in Regina, Saskatchewan, on April 17, 2001. Cst. Johnston was posted to “K” Division, Alberta, namely at Mayerthorpe Detachment, where he worked in First Nations Policing and General Policing
Reg. 49673, Cst. Anthony Fitzgerald Orion GORDON, 28, was born at Edmonton, Alberta, and joined the Force at Red Deer, Alberta. Upon completion of training at “Depot” in Regina, Saskatchewan, on October 15, 2002, Cst. Gordon was posted to “K” Division, Alberta, namely at Whitecourt Town Detachment, where he worked in General Policing and Highway Patrol.
Reg. 51874, Cst. Brock Warren MYROL, 29, was born at Outlook, Saskatchewan, and joined the Force at Red Deer, Alberta. Upon completion of training at “Depot” in Regina, Saskatchewan, on February 7, 2005, Cst. Myrol was posted to “K” Division, Alberta, namely at Mayerthorpe Detachment, where he worked in General Policing.
I'm the first one to admit I have a problem with authority but man oh man I get so pissed off when I find out something bad happens to any of them... they take these jobs knowing full well that they may die anyday they go to work...
Thursday on my way into work... every Canadian flag (actually every flag...including American flags) that I saw was flying at half mast... it was depressing.... knowing why they were flying that way... I love the country where I'm from and the people who try their hardest to keep it safe... the Police, the RCMP, the Canadian Armed Forces and of course the Border Agents ;)
ok so the last one was a bit of sarcasm.... but border agents do have their place as well...
anyway enough ranting, raving, fussing and venting from me...
I hope that dirt bag rots in his own fiery eternal hell.... thats pretty strong coming from me since I don't believe in hell... and here I wasn't going to post anything about this...
(for those of you who may not know...the title of todays blog is a line from the Canadian National Anthem)
Four Mounties Slain...
sure when people find out I'm Canadian I get the "you hoser eh" jokes... and the "ooh don't call the mounties on me" jokes... or the "say aboot for me" jokes....or my least favourite "you're from Canadia eh?....*pause* well if Americans are from America, Canadians must be from Canadia"
I'm not exactly sure why this story bothers so much... i mean we've all started getting accustomed to people dying or being killed everyday... just watch the news... I can't even really begin to think of why it affects me so much.... I don't have family members that are Mounties... I never wanted to be one... I don't have any friends that are Mounties or wanted to be one...
I think it makes me so mad because... when someone thinks of Canada one of the things that is specific to just Canada is the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.... it their beautiful red coats, and big hats....
they are one of the symbols of pride in Canada.... to be Canadian and see a RCMP whether it be on tv or in person... one feels atleast a small surge of pride....
I've never really claimed to be patriotic... but I guess deep down inside I truly am... and I spit on the grave of the dirt bag that shot those four officers.... his own father didn't even go to his funeral.... he got lucky... shooting/killing himself was the easy way out for him... if he hadn't have killed himself someone somewhere would have probably killed him while he slept in prison...
so I guess this is my own lil tribute or my own lil newsreport to you... or just my lil place to vent... I introduce to you the four honourable RCMP officers who were gunned down....
Reg. 48064, Cst. Peter Christopher SCHIEMANN, 25, was born at Petrolia, Ontario, and joined the Force at Stony Plain, Alberta. Upon completion of training at “Depot” in Regina, Saskatchewan, on November 27, 2000, Cst. Schiemann was posted to “K” Division, Alberta, namely at Mayerthorpe Detachment, where he worked in General Policing and Highway Patrol
Reg. 48568, Cst. Lionide Nicholas JOHNSTON, 32, joined the Force at Lac La Biche, Alberta, where he was born, and graduated from “Depot” in Regina, Saskatchewan, on April 17, 2001. Cst. Johnston was posted to “K” Division, Alberta, namely at Mayerthorpe Detachment, where he worked in First Nations Policing and General Policing
Reg. 49673, Cst. Anthony Fitzgerald Orion GORDON, 28, was born at Edmonton, Alberta, and joined the Force at Red Deer, Alberta. Upon completion of training at “Depot” in Regina, Saskatchewan, on October 15, 2002, Cst. Gordon was posted to “K” Division, Alberta, namely at Whitecourt Town Detachment, where he worked in General Policing and Highway Patrol.
Reg. 51874, Cst. Brock Warren MYROL, 29, was born at Outlook, Saskatchewan, and joined the Force at Red Deer, Alberta. Upon completion of training at “Depot” in Regina, Saskatchewan, on February 7, 2005, Cst. Myrol was posted to “K” Division, Alberta, namely at Mayerthorpe Detachment, where he worked in General Policing.
I'm the first one to admit I have a problem with authority but man oh man I get so pissed off when I find out something bad happens to any of them... they take these jobs knowing full well that they may die anyday they go to work...
Thursday on my way into work... every Canadian flag (actually every flag...including American flags) that I saw was flying at half mast... it was depressing.... knowing why they were flying that way... I love the country where I'm from and the people who try their hardest to keep it safe... the Police, the RCMP, the Canadian Armed Forces and of course the Border Agents ;)
ok so the last one was a bit of sarcasm.... but border agents do have their place as well...
anyway enough ranting, raving, fussing and venting from me...
I hope that dirt bag rots in his own fiery eternal hell.... thats pretty strong coming from me since I don't believe in hell... and here I wasn't going to post anything about this...
(for those of you who may not know...the title of todays blog is a line from the Canadian National Anthem)
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Was A Good Friend Of Mine...
we have a communist toad... or at least thats the joke right now... lol Raistlan was reading up on Gambits new pet when he ran across we're they are normally found... "Native to: China, Korea, and Southeast Asia"
Anyway so yeah thats what's new...
The kids have pets... Keenan got a beta fish that is a strange yellow colour which he has named "chicken huntin' "... don't ask it would be a long story and conventional moms would go bright red and pass out if they knew where he got it...Gambit as you can see got a toad... which I gotta say. Sometimes I hate PetSmart... I went there to get the pets... they usually have a good policy about live animals and yada yada yada...
however I gotta say if it wasn't for look on my kids face when I told him there was no way I was getting the toad that day...I would have been walking out of there with nothing....
every single time I asked the girl that worked there what else would be needed for the toad she looked in my cart and told me something else...or told me what I had already selected was not good enough...
I had picked out a small aquarium because we were only getting one toad... she looked at it and said... "that won't be big enough you need at least a 10 gallon tank for a fire belly toad" .... excuse me?? the toad is an inch long and she's telling me it needs a 10 gallon tank?? "oh they really like to swim" she says... ok so I put the little one back and grab a starter kit 10 gallon aquarium...and I grab all the stuff that she told me I would need... so I stop in an aisle and realize the 10 dollar toad we were getting all of a sudden turned into 185 dollars worth of stuff in the cart... I told Gambit that we weren't going to be able to get the toad that day... the last straw was telling me the friggin thing eats live crickets and will only eat live crickets... and oh yeah don't forget about the "kricket keeper" you need and the food for the crickets.... WTF???
I looked at Raistlan and said fuck it.. put back the 10 gallon tank... grabbed the small one again.. put back the heater and put back all the other shit she told me I would need... we cut the price of the stuff in our cart from 186 to around 75 bucks... fucking sales people... I hate them...but I did get a fucky cool fish bowl for Keenans Beta..... anyway...
so everyone is all set up and happy as can be....
oh yeah and I'm becoming a regular fire bellied toad wiz.... reading up on them and such... these lil suckers can live up to 10 to 16 years... so I told Gambit if he's really good to his toad... he can take it too college with him... then I realized that at 9 cents a cricket, 5 crickets a day, 365 days of the year for 10 years this thing will cost $1 642.50 to feed if it lives that long....
so when you see those commercials that ask for "just 45 cents a day" now you know how much money you would give them if you did that for 10 years... (thinks to myself... this kid is getting a newspaper route)
anyway thats all thats really new...
oh yeah actually couple more things...
haven't been able to get ahold of my dad... fucker apparently never listens to his answering machine...
and the medication has been kicking my ass.... I'm getting most of the side effects that come from taking it...work has been nice about it... actually I should say the Major has been really nice about it... being a lil more lenient about my break times and such...
Anyway... I gotta go... my head kinda hurts today... damn weather...
Anyway so yeah thats what's new...
The kids have pets... Keenan got a beta fish that is a strange yellow colour which he has named "chicken huntin' "... don't ask it would be a long story and conventional moms would go bright red and pass out if they knew where he got it...Gambit as you can see got a toad... which I gotta say. Sometimes I hate PetSmart... I went there to get the pets... they usually have a good policy about live animals and yada yada yada...
however I gotta say if it wasn't for look on my kids face when I told him there was no way I was getting the toad that day...I would have been walking out of there with nothing....
every single time I asked the girl that worked there what else would be needed for the toad she looked in my cart and told me something else...or told me what I had already selected was not good enough...
I had picked out a small aquarium because we were only getting one toad... she looked at it and said... "that won't be big enough you need at least a 10 gallon tank for a fire belly toad" .... excuse me?? the toad is an inch long and she's telling me it needs a 10 gallon tank?? "oh they really like to swim" she says... ok so I put the little one back and grab a starter kit 10 gallon aquarium...and I grab all the stuff that she told me I would need... so I stop in an aisle and realize the 10 dollar toad we were getting all of a sudden turned into 185 dollars worth of stuff in the cart... I told Gambit that we weren't going to be able to get the toad that day... the last straw was telling me the friggin thing eats live crickets and will only eat live crickets... and oh yeah don't forget about the "kricket keeper" you need and the food for the crickets.... WTF???
I looked at Raistlan and said fuck it.. put back the 10 gallon tank... grabbed the small one again.. put back the heater and put back all the other shit she told me I would need... we cut the price of the stuff in our cart from 186 to around 75 bucks... fucking sales people... I hate them...but I did get a fucky cool fish bowl for Keenans Beta..... anyway...
so everyone is all set up and happy as can be....
oh yeah and I'm becoming a regular fire bellied toad wiz.... reading up on them and such... these lil suckers can live up to 10 to 16 years... so I told Gambit if he's really good to his toad... he can take it too college with him... then I realized that at 9 cents a cricket, 5 crickets a day, 365 days of the year for 10 years this thing will cost $1 642.50 to feed if it lives that long....
so when you see those commercials that ask for "just 45 cents a day" now you know how much money you would give them if you did that for 10 years... (thinks to myself... this kid is getting a newspaper route)
anyway thats all thats really new...
oh yeah actually couple more things...
haven't been able to get ahold of my dad... fucker apparently never listens to his answering machine...
and the medication has been kicking my ass.... I'm getting most of the side effects that come from taking it...work has been nice about it... actually I should say the Major has been really nice about it... being a lil more lenient about my break times and such...
Anyway... I gotta go... my head kinda hurts today... damn weather...
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Thursday, March 03, 2005
She Must Think I'm Blind...
Reason #1 987 342 as to why Raistlan is a Keeper...
I come home from work last night... I'm tired, I'm down, I'm not feeling well...
I hug Raistlan and put my head on his shoulder...."Hunny my heart is broken it doesn't work right anymore" is what I whine in his ear while hugging him....
without a hesitation, no pause, no thought collecting... he answers
"no it's not hun it just gets a lil too excited sometimes"
and gives me a kiss on the head...
now you can all sit back and go "Aww"
If I had to pick one couple out of all my friends that I believe inspire me... one couple who when I look at them... or think about them... gives me hope that everything will be ok no matter what happens... one couple that is so much in love that you would want to squish them... one couple that makes me sit back and say I wanna have what they have... out of all the people I know and are friends with... it would defiantely have to be Moonie and Obi.
Not sure where that came from... it was just something that came into my head...
I come home from work last night... I'm tired, I'm down, I'm not feeling well...
I hug Raistlan and put my head on his shoulder...."Hunny my heart is broken it doesn't work right anymore" is what I whine in his ear while hugging him....
without a hesitation, no pause, no thought collecting... he answers
"no it's not hun it just gets a lil too excited sometimes"
and gives me a kiss on the head...
now you can all sit back and go "Aww"
If I had to pick one couple out of all my friends that I believe inspire me... one couple who when I look at them... or think about them... gives me hope that everything will be ok no matter what happens... one couple that is so much in love that you would want to squish them... one couple that makes me sit back and say I wanna have what they have... out of all the people I know and are friends with... it would defiantely have to be Moonie and Obi.
Not sure where that came from... it was just something that came into my head...
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
At The End Of The Day We Should Give Thanks And Pray...
Ok so I'm back...
First I want to say I'm completely disgusted with the Ontario Government and I can't believe this bill was passed.... fuckin idiots...
Now onto me...
went to the doctors today as I said earlier...
after talking to him about the "episodes" I was having and telling him all the symptoms he has put me on a "beta blocker" known as Monocor...
the history of this goes back to 1998... 3 days before I graduated highschool I had my first episode... didn't think too much about it... next time it happened I went to the hospital... they didn't catch it while it was happening... this went on a couple more times... until one day I was with Raistlan at work... around the corner from the hospital and as soon as it started friends of mine rushed me over to the hospital.. where they caught it in action... my heart rate was recorded at 200 beats per minute (give or take a beat here or there)... ever since then they've never been able to catch it again...
I went into the doctors office... he had diagnosed me as having anxiety attacks... and put me on an anti-depressant... I didn't like them and stopped using them after two months... and sent me to a cardiologist...saw her and she said she didn't hear any abnormalities...after that I haven't been back to talk to him about them...until today.
I walked in... told him everything... told him the exact sequence that all the symptoms appear in... thats when he realized that it wasn't anxiety attacks... he also noticed going thru my file that the cardiologist I had seen had sent him a letter stating that he might want to prescribe a beta blocker for me, and apparently she had scheduled an appointment for me to come in and have some other more indepth procedure done to take a closer look at my heart... I and he didn't know about either of them... this was almost 6 years ago...
So here I sit at the age of 26... gonna be 27 in September... and I've just found out I have a heart condition....
I'm not too sure what else to say...
it's still rolling around in my head...
heart condition....
First I want to say I'm completely disgusted with the Ontario Government and I can't believe this bill was passed.... fuckin idiots...
Now onto me...
went to the doctors today as I said earlier...
after talking to him about the "episodes" I was having and telling him all the symptoms he has put me on a "beta blocker" known as Monocor...
the history of this goes back to 1998... 3 days before I graduated highschool I had my first episode... didn't think too much about it... next time it happened I went to the hospital... they didn't catch it while it was happening... this went on a couple more times... until one day I was with Raistlan at work... around the corner from the hospital and as soon as it started friends of mine rushed me over to the hospital.. where they caught it in action... my heart rate was recorded at 200 beats per minute (give or take a beat here or there)... ever since then they've never been able to catch it again...
I went into the doctors office... he had diagnosed me as having anxiety attacks... and put me on an anti-depressant... I didn't like them and stopped using them after two months... and sent me to a cardiologist...saw her and she said she didn't hear any abnormalities...after that I haven't been back to talk to him about them...until today.
I walked in... told him everything... told him the exact sequence that all the symptoms appear in... thats when he realized that it wasn't anxiety attacks... he also noticed going thru my file that the cardiologist I had seen had sent him a letter stating that he might want to prescribe a beta blocker for me, and apparently she had scheduled an appointment for me to come in and have some other more indepth procedure done to take a closer look at my heart... I and he didn't know about either of them... this was almost 6 years ago...
So here I sit at the age of 26... gonna be 27 in September... and I've just found out I have a heart condition....
I'm not too sure what else to say...
it's still rolling around in my head...
heart condition....
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
He Just Sits And Stares....
Couple of things...
As of March 12th my blog will be a year old... dayum... how time changes in a year...
I just realized today when I came to my blog to go to all the journals I regularly visit which are located at the side----->
(shameless plug for all the blogs I read)
and I realized that my archive started March 2004... so I went in and checked the actual date that it started...
this blog has seen three templates... (completely different colours and such)... 2 men... two countries... 2 apartments... 1 house... blah blah blah...
so I think to celebrate my blogs birthday I want to go to The Moose and Goose and go see Theory of a Deadman... (hint hint Raistlan) LMAO
*watching the snow fall non-stop out the window*
It's amazing how many people you'll see drive in and out of the beer store even on a shitty day like today...
3 attacks in less than 72 hours has lit a fire under my ass... I called the doctor this morning.. I have an apointment this afternoon at 3:45pm... now I'm just hoping that my mom can get here from work and then down to Fort Erie in enough time so I'm not late for the appointment...
I woke up Raistlan last night at 1 o'clock... telling him the keyword that makes him jump out of bed and run into the kitchen even if he is fast asleep.... "Freezer"
he jumped up got me my trusty bag of frozen peas...
I made him keep his hand over my heart throughout the whole ordeal... I was trying very hard to calm it down.... in the end I held my breath pushed really hard let out a yell felt the pop in my chest and immediately stopped being able o feel my heart beat... i asked him if he felt the pop in my chest... he said he couldn't.... I have been wondering if you would be able too on the outside of my chest... I gave the peas back to Raistlan who went and put them back in the freezer... I was so exhausted afterwards I could barely lift my head... I must've passed out.
so that was last night... I also had one Saturday morning while Raistlan was at work... not going to get into that one... and then this morning I was in that state between sleep and wakefulness... when I immediately woke up with my heart racing... I closed my eyes and started breathing deeply... so this mornings was no where near as bad as the others... but still.....
I've been drifting along on the edge of this cliff that is my attacks...for sometime now... so I think its finally time I go and talk to the doctor about them again... before Raistlan bundles me up and throws me over his shoulder and walks me to the hospital... LOL
so anyway... thats my life in a nutshell right now...I'm trying to keep my heart from exploding and my brain from melting...
As of March 12th my blog will be a year old... dayum... how time changes in a year...
I just realized today when I came to my blog to go to all the journals I regularly visit which are located at the side----->
(shameless plug for all the blogs I read)
and I realized that my archive started March 2004... so I went in and checked the actual date that it started...
this blog has seen three templates... (completely different colours and such)... 2 men... two countries... 2 apartments... 1 house... blah blah blah...
so I think to celebrate my blogs birthday I want to go to The Moose and Goose and go see Theory of a Deadman... (hint hint Raistlan) LMAO
*watching the snow fall non-stop out the window*
It's amazing how many people you'll see drive in and out of the beer store even on a shitty day like today...
3 attacks in less than 72 hours has lit a fire under my ass... I called the doctor this morning.. I have an apointment this afternoon at 3:45pm... now I'm just hoping that my mom can get here from work and then down to Fort Erie in enough time so I'm not late for the appointment...
I woke up Raistlan last night at 1 o'clock... telling him the keyword that makes him jump out of bed and run into the kitchen even if he is fast asleep.... "Freezer"
he jumped up got me my trusty bag of frozen peas...
I made him keep his hand over my heart throughout the whole ordeal... I was trying very hard to calm it down.... in the end I held my breath pushed really hard let out a yell felt the pop in my chest and immediately stopped being able o feel my heart beat... i asked him if he felt the pop in my chest... he said he couldn't.... I have been wondering if you would be able too on the outside of my chest... I gave the peas back to Raistlan who went and put them back in the freezer... I was so exhausted afterwards I could barely lift my head... I must've passed out.
so that was last night... I also had one Saturday morning while Raistlan was at work... not going to get into that one... and then this morning I was in that state between sleep and wakefulness... when I immediately woke up with my heart racing... I closed my eyes and started breathing deeply... so this mornings was no where near as bad as the others... but still.....
I've been drifting along on the edge of this cliff that is my attacks...for sometime now... so I think its finally time I go and talk to the doctor about them again... before Raistlan bundles me up and throws me over his shoulder and walks me to the hospital... LOL
so anyway... thats my life in a nutshell right now...I'm trying to keep my heart from exploding and my brain from melting...
