This Might Just Be The Longest Blog Post In My History of Blogging

Tuesday morning I'm woken up by the phone.. my mother... asking me if I was on my way to Wal-mart for the oil change on the van... of course I wasn't sleeping... I mean it was 9 o'clock in the morning why would I be sleeping ;) {(A) on the map below}
get the oil change done in Niagara Falls (B)... mechanic walks in... saying that mom needs two front tires on the van...I think enh we have two 14" tires, after Raistlan's haircut we'll go put them on the van... head to Welland (C) to go see Miss Jewlz about cuttin Raistlan's hair and also for a short visit... head out to Ridgeway (D) to get the tires changed... rims don't fit but have seen the one front tire and how bad it is... so worried about taking it too Toronto drive over to mom's house (E) since she's home from work now... tell her about the problem... it's not 4:50pm... everyones only open til 5pm... call Sis... she's heading to go get BIL with the truck... aha the truck... we met up with those two in Stevensville (F) and traded vehicles with them... so now we're taking the truck instead of the van... cool with us the truck has a radio... *laughs*
we go for dinner at Harvey's in Niagara Falls (G) and then head home (A) again to pack and go to Scarborough ...

We get on the road and head up to Nana's house at about 8pm... we get there at about 10:30pm... not to bad of a drive didn't hit any traffic... took the QEW to the 427 to the 401 ...incase anyone really wanted to know that... lol

Stayed up talking with Nana and using her computer until about 3am... had to be up to catch the bus to Kennedy Station at about 5:30am... caught the first subway out of Kennedy and headed down town... if you're asking why we just didn't drive to the hospital then you've never driven in or had to park in downtown Toronto... or you have but you're just spoiled and have too much money :P lol
got to the hospital at about 6:38am... few minutes late but as you'll see in the following that doesn't matter... got checked in and into my gown and proceeded to take a nap... Room 415 bed #2 in the Eaton South Building East Wing 6th floor of the Toronto General Hospital... that was my home for a couple of days... had a beautiful view out my window of the west wing... what fun... lol

at about 8:30 am the nurse clinician comes into my room asking me how I'm doing... telling me that I was up next... then realized that I didn't have an iv hooked up to me and asked if my nurse had been in to see me... I looked at Raistlan and we both said... um no... she shakes her head and says 'well let me go get her butt in gear'
a nurse comes walking into the room... butchering my name and then proceeds to say 'I didn't realize you were here' funny since I had been there since 6:30 but ok...
then she says how we're gonna have to hurry because I'm next (see I was second on the schedule because I had been cancelled before, woulda been first but the guy before me was an emergency) so she says she has to hook me up to an IV first off... so I say to her please please please put it in my arm rather than my hand... it's very painful when I have IVs in my hand... she says that she will do her best to do that for me... she spent the next ten minutes looking for a vein... apparently when my veins hear IV they understand that to mean *dive dive dive* like lil submarines... she couldn't get one to come up so that she could put the IV in my arm... so she apologized profusely and proceeded to put it in my hand... she put the rubber tourniquet around my forearm prayed to jebus like that was going to help... and then put the needle in my hand and proceeded to poke around for a little bit and then took it back out and apologized... I hand Raistlans hand in mine and was looking his way rather then at what she was doing... but it fucking hurt like hell... and I could tell by his face that he did not envy me... she got a new needle and went at it again, apologizing and calling the lord and jesus as if they're gonna pop up and say here lemme do that...
finally she gets it in... after me crying out in pain and Raistlan looking like he wanted to smack her in the head for causing me pain...
she then asks me a bunch of questions and one of which is have you been shave prepped... uh..no... *aside - see now I wanted to just shave at Nana's the night before and then thought, nah they'll do it and they do it all the time so it should be alright* so she gets up and goes to get the stuff she needs to shave me... she comes back with this little basket and pulls out this little electric razor... and I'm thinking... hmm this might not be good... she starts shaving me and first it tickled... cause well when I shave I don't use one of those down there when I shave myself...and then it hurt... with each passing of the razor it hurt... I told her this that it hurt and she just continued shaving and saying we had to hurry and finish cause they could come up to get me at any time... so I beared with it... so finished with the all the stuff she had to get done... and after a little while she comes back around and tells me that they've come up to get me... it was about 10:45am when they came to get me...
Raistlan was able to walk with us down to the 2nd floor until just outside the door of the procedure waiting room... he gave us a moment so we could hug and kiss... after Raistlan left I felt sorta alone again since I had no one to talk to.. all the nursing staff were more then nice to me... as a matter of fact I really had to pee (hey when I get nervous it's what happens) one of the nurses just happened to see me looking around and walked over and said 'let me guess you need to go to the bathroom don'tcha' I laughed nervously and said yeah which she followed up with 'ya had that look on your face' so she offered me a bedpan... which I graciously declined...I've never been able to use one of those things... so she let me get up and go to the actually commode... and I had just got back to the bed and there was a doctor there to talk to me and get me to sign a consent form... I'll call him Dr Raj because I can't remember the rest of his name... he explained the procedure and explained the form and was very nice... I asked him about whether or not I'd be sedated and he explained that normally they wouldn't give any sedation because they need the heart to not be relaxed... but because I was so nervous he would see about getting me some...
few minutes after signing the consent form a nurse and a technician came to get me and wheeled me into the room where the procedure was to be done...

I scootched over onto the other table and laid down, the nurse came over and said he was going to rub some pink alcohol solution onto the areas they will need to use, he moved the sheet and my gown and looked up at me and asked me if I shaved myself, I said no the nurse upstairs did why? and he just shoook his head smiled and said oh nothing hun...he started rubbing it on me and it was cold! I gasped and he said oh it might be cold, but then it started to hurt and I told him it was stinging, he just nodded and apologized.

then another nurse came over and she was talking to me about how the doctors have okayed me to have some medication and how she was going to put it in thru my IV and it would help calm me down a little. Boy I dunno what it was but I could feel it moving up my arm and across my chest and down my body and my legs... everything just sorted relaxed a little... it was nice...

they draped this plastic type tarp thing over me which had a hole in it to go over the area where Dr Raj would be... which was fine.. except all around the edge of it was adhesive... which sucked because... well we all know I'm a fat chick and I have some rollage down there so Dr Raj kept having to stretch out the skin and redo the adhesive... think about taking off and putting on a bandage several times over and over again...ouch I was starting to get sore...

So after that Dr Raj told me he would be freezing my leg now... I'm not sure how many shots of local he did in my leg...but it wasn't enough... *laughing* and of course the local when its put in intially burns like your whatever is on fire... he then said that he was trying to find the vein that runs next to my femoral artery... see again.. having problems finding veins... it felt like that man was digging for gold, like he was going to push his way to the other side of my leg... good thing I couldn't feel it right?... *sigh*
he finally found everything and it was time to put the catheter in... no for all those of you who believe that a catheter is only used when people have to pee... let me educate you... a catheter is a polite way of saying "a tube up in something" this one just happened to be in an artery in my leg...how great... anyway...

so then it was time for them to completely violate my innards... let me set up the scene for my disturbing procedure... if anyone has ever needed an x-ray for something then you might understand... there was a big x-ray machine above me over my chest and they said that there would be one that comes up beside me on my left as well so that they can get the best picture possible... the table was approximately 4 feet off the floor... if I looked to my right there was a bunch of stuff (I don't recall what now) set aside, there was a digital clock on the wall that I tried very hard not to stare at... on my left from what I could see about 2 feet above me and down by my knees was a vitals machine that showed my heart rate and what not... spent a lot of time looking at that... right next to it was a black screen... had no idea what that was for... lets just say I spent a lot of the time with my eyes shut and wishing that it was over...

you know the motion you use to unstop a toilet with a plunger... that jerky pushing type of motion... this is what Dr Raj was doing in order to get the wires up my artery... I could feel it on my leg... and also I could see him... if I looked down the right side of my body... I couldn't take it... it hurt so bad having him do that... so I made the mistake of looking to the left instead...and looked up at the vitals monitor... everything seemed ok with it... the screen next to it was no longer black ... it was now showing this weird black line snaking its way there a gray-ish maze... then he started the plunging action again and I realized just what I was looking at as I see the black line bending and curving in time with his plunging action... I damn near puked right then and there...when I realized that I was watching what he was doing inside me... some people I know would think that was cool... and ya know if it wasn't me it was happening too I may have been one of those people... but it was not feeling cool... it hurt like hell and I will never be able to explain to you the feeling of having something snaking it's way thru your body and into your heart... it's the most distubing thing I have ever had to go thru... it feels like there is an itch working it's way up your stomach and into your chest...a burning itch that you want to reach into your chest to scratch ...

So after they got my heart to skip to my lou into an episode which it did a couple of times on their way up to my heart... the wires got up and into my heart... tears streaming down my face from the pain... but staying quiet so that they can get their stuff done... now it was time for Dr Ing to work his magic and make me better.. heh...

they asked how I was to which I replied just please hurry... they told me that they were in my heart and were going to proceed to which I mumbled that I already knew where they were... but just kept that to myself...
well now the lights were going off and on frequently... before when it was Dr Raj the lights just went off and on a couple of times...
I was fine at that point and I could hear them talking to each other and Dr Ing telling them when he needed them to take another picture... and then he would say something else and I had this weird sensation in my chest... and then it would stop and my heart would freak out... and then the weird sensation and then my heart would freak out and go nuts... well ya see the patteren here eh? ... this happened at least a dozen times... I wasn't able to breathe it felt like someone put cotton balls in my ears and my head was really starting to hurt... then after one freak out... I heard Dr Ing say something again which I noticed he was saying the same thing just before he started the laser to cauterize the pathway... and all of a sudden I felt this burning sensation in my chest and got all panicked... and said uh that feels really hot... all of a sudden it stopped and this time my heart didn't freak out and go nuts... waited a few more minutes and poked around in there some more and nope it didn't do it again...

So they came around and said that they were just going to get everything out of there and that they were finished and everything went well... I couldn't help but chuckle wryly yeah maybe for them it had... I just felt like I ran about 15 marathons in a row...

Dr Raj gave me a sympathetic smile and asked how I was feeling... I just looked at him and said 'I'd like to go to my room and go to sleep now'

Well that didn't quite happen like I had wanted... the wheeled me back out to where I was originally waiting saying that I'd just be there long enough for them to finish up some paperwork... laying there it happened... I had to go to the bathroom again... so I told Marcia the nurse who helped me out before surgery and she said that she could bring me a bedpan so that I could go... I told her I'd wait... she said you do realize you can't get out of bed for 4 hours and had to remain flat on my back... I nodded and she chuckled and said ok.. but if you want the bed pan just let me know...

I tried so hard to forget about the fact that I had to pee... and then when I finally resigned myself to trying to use one I couldn't find Marcia...
seemed like all the nurses disappeared in that moment...
finally a nurse was walking by and saw me laying there... she walked up and checked my "procedure site"and asked if I shaved myself and asked how I was doing... "I actually really have to go pee..." looked around and continued "could you hook me up with one of those stupid bed pans" she laughed and got me a bed pan and pulled that not to private privacy curtain around after wedging the thing under my ass...
a few minutes later another nurse comes in, her name was Loletta, asking if I was done... I laughed... not likely ... I've never been able to use one of those things.. think it stems from that whole 'it's bad to pee the bed' thing that gets installed in us from the time we're toddlers...she looks at my "procedure site" says it looks good then asks me if I shaved myself...to which I responded no the nurse upstairs did why?... she tells me that she'll be taking me back upstairs to my room now and that she'll leave the bedpan there incase I'd like to do anything naughty such as pee in the elevator...

btw no I did not pee while in the elevator...

I got back up to my room and by this time my stomach is killing me from needing to pee...
I get all set back up in my room and see my Raistlan and just started to cry... the brave face was wearing off... I quickly wiped all the tears away when Audrey my nurse from the morning came in and was asking how everything went...I just said fine and Loletta then filled Audrey in on everything that happened downstairs and how I had to pee but hadn't yet...

Audrey hooks me back up to Earl and Harry and adds Bob to the mix...(explain them in a minute) so I tell all of them to leave me alone for a moment... Audrey, some ecg guy and Raistlan...all go to the other side of the curtain... and I'm trying to convince myself that I need to hurry up and pee... I could hear the ecg guy asking Audrey if she could take his blood pressure because he wasn't feeling well... Harry started beeping... Raistlan fixed that while Audrey left... they all kept asking me how I was doing... I never realized how impossible it was to pee lying down... so Audrey came back and took dudes BP and then checked his sugar levels... ok talk about taking advantage of the office you work in... I finally finally finally was able to pee in the stupid plastic bed pan that looks like a dust pan... then I realized that my ass felt really wet...
So Audrey asked if I was able to go... and I said that my ass felt wet and it was gross... and she says 'oh so you weren't able to go' ... Raistlan had poked his head thru the curtain knowing that I had gone I rolled my eyes and said... 'yes I was able to go but now my ass is all wet' so she comes over puts a pair of gloves on and says oh ok I'll be right back with some toilet paper... So Audrey and I become married in some countries... she's shaved my twat and now she's wiped my ass off...

So after all that happened I started dozing, Raistlan told me he was going to have a smoke, text my mom and grab something to eat...so not to freak out if he wasn't here if I woke up... so I dozed off... a little while later I realized that someone was in the room with me but it wasn't Raistlan... I open my eyes to see my sister and my mom standing there... well it actually looked like they were trying to sneak in...my heart rate jumped from 88bpm to 105bpm my mom realized it and was standing at the end of my bed going 'shhh relax hun...relax it's just us' as she continues to watch Harry to make sure my heart rate goes back down... I chuckled... first thing out of my mouth... 'heeey did you get the van tires changed?' lol
So I visited with sis and mom... told them that Raistlan had just gone to text her.. she said yeah I know we got the text as we were parking...
So Raistlan got back and we all visited and I had them all laughing... mom says sis was so nervous on the way up that she wanted to smack her... *laughs* sis was more worried about me then mom...see now thats what I call tight ;)
Anyway... while they were there Audrey came in to tell me that I could get up and move around at about 4:30pm.... I sighed and said good cause I had to pee again... this was at 3:00pm... *laughs*
I didn't make it that long... had to use the stupid plastic bed pan again.... I'm going to know tell you the lengths to which love will go...
Raistlan wedges the stupid thing under me again... they close the not so private privacy curtain and they all wait over oon the other side of it.. however they still are talking to me...finally I said shhh trying to pee here...
so I pee.. I hadn't been drinking a lot... I couldn't I had been lying flat on my back... but lets just say I thought I was done...so I told Raistlan he could come and get the bed pan... he walked around the curtain...and I went.. oh wait... maybe I'm not done... so when I was finally finished I made the mistake of lowering my butt down and I looked up at Raistlan and said.. 'shit I think I may have just got some on my bed' thankfully last time I went the nurse put one of those weird blue things under me... So now here I am again... butt wet and plate of pee under me... I look up at Raistlan... who brought over some toilet paper and without even hesitation proceeds to wipe the pee off my butt... 'well now this is love' I said to him...he responds with 'thru sickness and thru health' we both chuckle... and he changes the blue pad thing under me...
I'm telling ya my Raistlan would make a good nurse ;)

at some point I asked Raistlan to check my 'procedure site' and tell me what kind of bandage is on it... he says 'elastoplast' ...I started to freak.. and asked my mom to look at it... sure enough it was an elsatoplast bandage (meaning it was a cloth type bandage with adhesive on it - which by the by I'm allergic) so Lynn comes in and we all proceed to tell her this... since it's on my arm and everything..big red bracelet that says 'Elastoplast bandages = Hives' so got that changed pretty quick..while changing it she asks did you shave yourself...I arche an eyebrow at her and said 'no Audrey did' she said oh ok... and left... I turned to mom and sis and Raistlan and said... how bad does it look... every nurse or person who has looked at my crotch has asked me if I shaved myself...it seems that little Miss Audrey decided to shave off parts of my crotch... she didn't give me razor burn like I was thinking... she was actually cutting me... she was lucky that she was already gone for the day...

So finally 4:30 rolls around and Lynn my new nurse tells me that I can get up now if I'd like... you never saw someone get out of bed so fast... mom asked where I was going... I replied with as I'm shutting the door... 'too a real toilet!'... I tell you I was never so happy to see the porcelin throne in my life... lol

So I walked down the hall to the elevators with mom and sis... said bye to them and gave them hugs...
walked back to my room and was completely exhausted... so I laid down to take a nap.. Raistlan again says if he's not there he's gone for a smoke...
again all of a sudden while napping I feel someone else in the room with me thats not Raistlan... opened my eyes and it's Nancy... she was coming to check on me... tells me that everything went well as I mutter 'well thats relative' and she tells me that she'll be back in the morning to discharge me...while she's there Lynn comes in to check on me... took vitals and checked my 'procedure site' Lynn looks at me and says to Nancy she says she didn't shave herself and Nancy looks over and says oh no thats because she had an elastoplast bandage...and then they both left me...and I was thinking.. wait a second... never mind...

so I drift back off to sleep... and I wake up again with the feeling that the person in the room is not Raistlan... this time no big jump in heart rate..I open my eyes and sitting in the chair beside my bed is Dr Ing... he smiles and says hey there...I just blinked a few times and managed to say hi...
so he proceeds to tell me that the surgery went really well and that the pathway was easy to find and they cauterized as much of it as they could... and that I should no longer get any big attacks that last long enough to go to the hospital about... I asked him why my heart rate kept going nuts... just jumping from the 80's into the 100's... he said that it was because of the trauma... the heart is a sensitive thing and it's not used to big poked and zapped... I explained that it felt like I was starting to get an attack and/or episode but then after a few moments it would go back to normal... he nodded and told me that I would no longer get the episodes but that I will still have arrythmia... I will still have small episodes...
grrrreat....

So he went on his way and I went back to sleep... poor Raistlan... must have been so bored with me... I was dozing and or sleeping most of the time...
He left to go back to Nana's at 9pm and said he'd call when he got back... thank goodness for Gambit... he let me borrow his psp and his spiderman2 movie for it... so I sat there watching that with the phone beside me on the table (the phone would flash when it rang so I wasn't worried about missing his call with the headphones on)
Lynn comes in and finally takes my IV out of my hand... she had disconnected Earl earlier but left the needle in my hand with a small portion of the tube hanging out just incase they needed to hook me back up to the IV...but now she took it out after much begging on my part because my hand was killing me...
So just as the movie was finished a nurse pops his head around my curtain I take the headphones off and turn the light on thats over my head... he seems surprised 'oh you are awake...is your phone not working?' I thought it was... anyway turns out that Raistlan called and got to the nurses station because they turn off the patients phones from incoming calls at 10pm... so I waddle out to the nurses station and talk to him for a moment and told him that if he didn't hear from me in 15 minutes then I wasn't able to call out either... so I waddle back down to my room... and call him back and he explains to me how he fell asleep on the subway...lol and went past his stop and so forth...

laid in bed staring out the window at the other side of the building and listened to music... then some guy walks into my room with a flashlight... I took my headphones off and he asked if I needed anything... I asked him if he could show me where the ice machine was...and got some ice...finally drifted off to sleep probably about 3 am...

6am rolls around and I have nurses coming in and taking my temperature and blood pressure and vitals and changing my bandages and just all around pissing me off...

finally drifted back off to sleep... around 8am a different nurse comes in and starts checking me out and telling me one of my leads fell off from Bob and that she needed to replace it and blah blah blah...
Nancy walks in while Kelly the new nurse is there and says ... oh she can be taken off all of this stuff now.. Kelly looks surprised.. oh I just replaced one of her leads... as if that was going to convince someone that I needed to be hooked up still... Nancy says 'oh... well... you can take them all off now because I've come to tell her she can go home" she looks at me and tells me and says that everything looks great and the monitors didn't show anything unusual... and wished me luck and walked out... Kelly unhooked me from everything and went out to get my discharge paperwork...
I just laid back down and went to sleep again...
because when talking to Raistlan on the phone we realized that I had the truck keys in my purse which was with me at the hospital so he was going to take the subway to come get me and we were just gonna take the subway and the bus back to Nana's.. I felt fine ;)
so I read thru the discharge papers.. and the after care shit... which says no using stairs unnecessarily for a week, no driving for 48 hours, no sex for 48 hours, and a bunch of other shite...
so we walked two blocks to the College Park Station... ate a Cinnamon bun from Cinnabon...mmmm my achilles heel...cinnabon... anyways.. walked down the stairs to the subway... got on the train...sat ;)
got to the young/bloor station... walked up the stairs to the eastbound train... sat on the train ;)
got to the kennedy station... walked up the two flights of stairs to get to the buses... took the Kennedy bus to Laurence...got off and walked half a block to Shoppers Drugmart... got the stuff needed so that raistlan would be able to change my bandages... walking around I hear from behind me 'oh.My.God we so should get these for your mother' (aside - all my life my mother has used duct tape for cuts or what not that she might have on her fingers - says it works better then regular band aids) I turn around to see hanging on a shelf Duct tape bandages.. I laughed and asked if we had enough to get them... so we got them for mom...I stayed and sat at Shoppers while Raistlan walked back over to Nana's and picked up the truck...
we drove over to the store for Nana and then went back to her place... where we both took a nap.. I was so sore after the trek from the hospital...and so tired...

we left Nana's at about 10pm and headed home...

the next day (Friday) I finally got my hands on a small mirror and laid down and looked at myself and realized why everyone kept asking me if I shaved myself... that woman was lucky I didn't get to see until then... I would love to get my hands on her and shave her fucking cunt... she chopped me up something fierce but by the time I got to see it, it wasn't as bad as it was at the hospital... on Saturday I had Raistlan take a couple of pictures...
I'm posting the link so that you don't have to see if you don't want too you don't have too...

Anyway... this post has taken me four days to write.. because frankly I haven't wanted to think about anything that happened in that surgery room... it's quite painful...which some of you might think me weak for but... all I have to say... is let me do it to you!

BTW - Bob was the name of my Heart monitor, Harry was the name of my portable vitals monitor we called him Harry because everytime it went to take my blood pressure he beeped to say I was dead, and my IV bag and stand was Earl because since I hate IV's so much we decided that he needed to die ;) and they are named with mens names because they were all over me and in the way ;)