Well Ya Gotta Let Your Soul Shine, Just Like My Daddy Used To Say...

I've been working on this blog post in my mind since last Friday... and now I'm not even sure what happened on Friday to make me want to post, but it's been a helluva ride since Friday...

Saturday morning we went to the eldest's soccer game, they lost. The poor kids just lose heart when they're down by a couple of pts and more then half of the team doesn't show up. The coach was pissed at the team for not showing up, for their attitude and for a number of other things. She's good and doesn't show it in a game. So on the way home from the game we're driving down a pretty busy road, just past the lights at an intersection, turn on the left blinker to turn into the bank parking lot when suddenly "BANG" yep was hit from behind. No squealing of tires like some one was even trying to slow down just a bang. First things first, checked to make sure the kids were alright, hand the phone over so 911 could be called. Kid (yes kid) from the other comes over to see if we're alright as his three buddies get out of the car.

17 years old out with mom's car driving with a G2. So after an hour long wait for the police with the car sitting still in the same spot in the middle of the road, the kids get picked up and taken home and the police officer finally arrives on the scene. So after an hour, 3 episodes, two calls to insurance company and at least one bottle of water. We're now waiting for CAA, guy comes to change the flat tire on the rear passenger side that has been banged up, CAA guy, Todd, looks it over and shakes his head and says "looks like the axle might be bent, you don't want to drive on that" - head to the collision place that insurance said to go to, they're closed. Insurance agent not dealing with the claim but answered the phone and said that the one handling the claim was on lunch absolutely refused to look up a phone number for a rental place because apparently they only deal with Enterprise who lo and behold is also closed on a Saturday. Call home get the phone number for the Budget down the street, woman offers to pick us up at the collision place, oh yes we love her. Half an hour later we call back to see if she's forgotten about us, says she's heading out right now. Get this she shows up in none other then... *drum roll* A Hyundai Sonata... oh yes my car from when I went from Ohio to Georgia. Well no not the exact car but it was... oh never mind... So get a ride over to the Budget, since it's now raining as well. Find out that yes that could be the rental for the week. Finally get to the house at about 3pm (soccer game was at 10:30am) its raining but was so hot earlier, all we had thought about all morning/afternoon was getting into the pool. Said fuck it to the rain and got in. I swam until I was forced out for dinner.

Sunday there was a big plot on the mush, lots of people involved. Was a grid wide... was frustrating. They usually are *shrugs* no matter what size, but for some reason we do it and stick with it because.... we love it?

Monday .... *sighs* ... Monday I get the news about Jim. I was in shock until the wake on Tuesday. He wasn't one of those people that was a friend of the family. He was family. When my dad left my mom I was technically an adult. But as an adult sometimes you still need your dad. When my dad left Jim did those dad type things for me, he did it with a smile. And the only payment he ever wanted was a hug, well and maybe the occasional kiss on the cheek. He taught me how to tile and grout a floor and back splash. Even though he was in and out of my life all through my life, it didn't stop me from loving him like one of those preferred family members *chuckles* you know those people that you choose to be in your family rather then some of the ones you get. Jim was one of those people who brought the sunshine with them. You could be in a bad mood but if he was around it didn't last very long at all. He was a great man and I wish his three grandsons could have known him like all of us did. He always seemed like one of those people who would live forever. Though I didn't get to see him or talk to him a lot I will miss him a great deal. I just hope that wherever he may be that he is at peace. Even though I write a lot of personal stuff in this online journal of mine I am fairly private about a few things. My grieving is one. My family has not seen me cry about Jim's passing, nor will they, not even the man.

So after the shock of finding out about Jim's death, I had to go to the hospital for an ultra sound. Don't get excited I'm not pregnant. The doctor wants to make sure all my parts are in order and that there's nothing going on with my girly parts. Well not only did I have to have an ultra sound, I also had to have what's called a 'transvaginal' exam... if you've had one of these I am sorry... first off the name of it alone is ridiculous Transvaginal... have you ever heard of the TransCanada Highway?? ok so I'm laying there and she (the tech) says "I have to do the transvaginal exam now" I chuckled cause all I could think of is a comparison of my vagina to the freaking highway. Then I find out what Transvaginal means.... of yeah she says I'm going to pass the probe to you under the blanket you go ahead and insert it like a tampon.. uh ok can I see the thing I'm shoving up my cooch first?? so I look at it and swear to the Gods I said "What the fuck is that thing?" you can imagine the face to go with it... She says "No no no don't look at it, it'll make it worse" *blinks* um... its a long probe with what looks like a condom on it all lubed up... but was fuckin long as hell... "I'm sorry you want me to put that where??" quirking the eyebrow at her like she's out of her fucking mind. Lo and behold I go ahead and insert this cold hard plastic thing and am quite un-fucking-comfortable I lay back down and tell her to come back. So now she takes the end of this thing and starts moving it around *blinks* yeah... so I looked at her and said "Well I didn't think I'd be getting lucky when I came in today..."
She apologizes for the uncomfortable feeling, I turn my head and said "Oh no problem think I could get a smoke after this though?" ... mind you the interesting thing was I got to see one of my ovaries... how many women get to say that...
So ultra sound and vaginal probe down and now just have to walk across the street and go for more blood tests....
I have to pick a number... 3 fuckin people in the room and she says "Please take a number and a seat" *blinks again* I look around and mumble "Yeah I'd hate to get lost in the crowd" as I take a number and sit down again. Finally my number (27) gets called and I stand up walk the two feet to the counter and hand in my requisition form and get told to go to cubicle 1... same lady that's behind the desk walks in to take my blood... shoot me now.... She sits down and I always get it taken from my left arm, cause I'm right handed. So she inserts the needle and proceeds to say 'hmm? I lost it' how in holy hell do you lose a feckin vein, they don't have legs or nothing. Three pokes and switching of arms later she finally fills the vial full. And says in a fake cheery voice "There ya go, have a nice day" I think I mumbled something that closely resembled "suck my ass" but I could be mistaken. Finally got home and just wanted to go to bed.

Tuesday, went swimming and waited until it was time for the wake. Went saw a couple people I knew thank gods mom didn't want to stay long. I hate that conversation you have with people at wakes and funerals, in hushed tones "Hi, how are you? well considering yeah thats good. Haven't seen you in a long time. Sorry to have met up with you under such circumstances" oh puh-lease... Nobody really wants to talk to each other at these things they want to pay their respects quietly while they have memories of the person. I just wanted to go home by that point, I missed Jim and I just wanted to go home and mourn for him in my own way... shots of Jack Daniels and songs about loss. I have a play list for when people I love die, made it when my grandpa died.

Didn't get to go to the funeral today :(
again chalk that up to the trials and tribulations of not having a car... *sighs*

And now we come to todayish (I haven't slept yet so in my mind it's still Wednesday) I have a bunch of running around to do... but I get back at the man today I had to have a vaginal probe, he gets to jizz in a cup and hand it in... more blood work today... and soccer practice tonight... *looks out the window* I hope it continues to rain all day so that I can cancel practice... I don't even feel like leaving the house let alone deal with 10 kids who can't dribble...

So there it is, it took me four days to do it but there's my update...