You are a deep, sensitive dreamer.
You are usually laid back and calm, though, like an ocean, you can kick up a good storm, too!
You are probably a daydreamer, who has his/her head in the clouds. You love spending time with your friends, and probably just go with whatever they want to do (you're a go with the flow type of person, just like water!).
You are emotionally inclined - unlike reds, who feel passionately and intensely, you feel things deeply and strongly.
You are extremely loyal, and your friends can always count on you to be there for them.
Blues are almost always very intelligent, and they strive for perfection in many areas.
You may tend to beat yourself up for your imperfections. Other people admire you and strive to be like you, but you probably have a hard time understanding why.
You can be light and fun at times, and other times deep and introverted. It just depends on your mood.
Sometimes you throw people off with your random changes in disposition, but your friends love you anyways. You can be a very wise, intellectual person, but you have to pull yourself up out of your own thoughts first!
You, in a nutshell: Deep, emotional, wise, loyal, slightly moody, feeling, sensitive, supportive, intelligent. BLUE!
So I took some online quiz and this was the answer too it afterward... it was telling me what colour I am... and frankly after reading it I had to nod and say 'wow... that really does sound like me...'
Maybe a bit too much... but anyway... not why I came back to post... but just wanted to share...
While my movie is loading I figured I'd come back and talk a bit about what I was saying earlier...
So a friend of mine the other day in a drunken haze says to me... "If a handsome man, came to you and promised you the world... everything you've ever desired and told you that you'd never have to worry about anything ever again... would you leave Ry?" I without hesitation replied with... "No..."
She followed it up with same everything above and added onto it "and the only stipulation is you have to leave Ry... would you?"
and again without hesitation I said "No..."
She just looked at me through her beer goggles for a few moments and nodded... telling me that what Ry and I have is something very special...
I reminded her and told the story of how it hasn't always been story book perfect for the two of us...
So of course after telling her some of the stuff that happened, she asked me the real question that was on her pickled brain... "why would you want to mess with that?" of course I looked to her to elaborate a bit further... She knows that we're polyamorous... and that's what she had been asking about...
If the man and I are so good together then why would we 'mess' around with that...
This is where I proceeded to tell her that... no matter how much I love him and how wonderful we are together and how I could never live without him... there's something missing... there's still a part of me that is missing... and I know that there is someone else I'm to be with... I should say we're to be with... and not in that dirty naughty sexual way... though that would be fun too...
There have been a lot of people who know that I'm bi... and have been quite alright with it... frankly it's the whole... what happens in my bedroom stays there and is none of your concern when it comes to my family... but then I got to thinking if we end up having someone come and live with us would it be so easy to just tell them its none of their business... especially when we rely so much on them and them on us... and that's when I realized they'd have to deal with it...
I have found my missing piece... with finding it though there has been some obstacles and some learning of patience on my part... when I talk to them I feel whole... and I feel together and ... well it just feels right... and what's so great about it is the man knows, understands, and accepts it... he's willing to open our home to this person... and already likes them... has offered to help in whatever way possible to bring them here...
I didn't realize just what the affect this would have on me... I'm practically giddy when I get to talk to them... I've been having dreams of our family being all together and doing things together...
I know that when it happens there will be people who don't understand and in not understanding will be angry... or think differently of all of us... and we're prepared for that... but in my heart of hearts I hope that even if they don't understand that they won't turn their backs on us...
It's funny that I got into a conversation similar to this one again today... when a friend of mine asked me to explain how it's possible to love two people... I asked him to explain how you love one... *chuckles* he believes that you can only have one soulmate, and can only be fated to love one person... I say bollocks... how about all those people out there that after their spouse dies they get remarried... what happens if you happen to find the two people you are to fall in love with in the same life time... it's really not so odd...
I'm in love with two people... have been for awhile... it's not even the first time it's happen... but it's the first time that I feel as I do about them... I could never live without the man in my life... and he knows just how much and how deeply I love him... he also knows that this love feels as if it will end up being the same that I have with him over time...
When you've gone so long thinking that you'll never find that missing piece to fill the void that you can feel all the way to your soul... it... it just... yeah I can't even describe the feeling I get... the highs are high... but the lows are so dreadfully low... when you've felt whole... and then watched and felt it start to slip away... it hurts like hell... the ache starts to become unbearable... the feeling of dread won't subside... until doubt and worry start to cloud everything... it feels like drowning... and it takes everything to just stay above the water line... but the highs of it all make those dark moments almost bearable... hearing their voice... getting a message or a word...
Te amo ... <3
No comments:
Post a Comment