I Know That You've Got Something Buried...

So... here I sit... Canada Day has just finished... what an interesting day it's been...

I was laying in bed sleeping this morning... and the phone kept ringing... so I finally got up and answered it and found out that my sister was going to check out the free buffet that the Mandarin was putting on for Canada Day... so she was thinking she'd come pick me and the boychild up and go to the one here in the city...

So we head over there just after noon... the line was literally around the plaza where the restaurant is... we weren't that hungry that we were going to wait over three hours for food... so she took us to the North China Buffet and bought us some lunch...

Made a couple of other stops before going to get the man from work and heading into Niagara Falls... decided to on a whim go check the line up at the Mandarin there to see if it was just as bad... (four hours after checking the on in St Catharines)... it wasn't quite as long but was still pretty bad... and of course... took pics of it...





Ended up at my mom's place and had a nice dinner there with the fam... came home to a phone call from a friend of mine who decided to tell me about his day and how it went...

After that I decided to sit down and do up a post since I hadn't in a little while...

not that anyone really reads it anymore but I guess I can start using it as an outlet again for all the stuff I'd like to say but don't want to bother people with...

I've generally been a very private person... except for here... and after the last couple of times it takes me awhile to really open up to people... and I think I've done it again... made the mistake of opening up and allowing myself to get hurt... I can't say for sure as they haven't come right out and said it... but then again they haven't really come right out and said anything to me lately...

I know that I can be impatient... and I know that I can be a bit ... whatever...

but anyway... yeah... I'm just not in a good head space at the moment... so... I think I'm just gonna withdraw and wait... wait for them... I've been feeling exposed and out there and I'm not comfortable with it now... because I start thinking weird shit... like 'oh god did I say too much'... 'did I do something stupid'... 'did I push too far'...
when you've found a good thing you try to hang on to it... you try to do anything to keep it... you do whatever you humanly can...
at least that's what I've always thought... but now... I'm thinking that I should just stop...it's obvious that I was wrong about this... that i shouldn't have started any of this... I should've known it wouldn't go in my favour... it's just my luck...

I was just hoping for once... that just maybe... it would...

*sighs*

I know that anyone who actually reads this isn't going to know wtf I'm talking about... but that's only because I've kept this to myself... and told them all my fears and hopes and all that other shit... *sighs*
like I said... I should have just kept it to myself...

So I've turned off my messengers... I've actually closed my email... I've logged off the Mu*... and now... I just try to forget... hard when there's a reminder in my living room... hard when my thoughts turn that way when ever they're idle... hard when I've let them in totally and completely...

I'm sad... my heart hurts... aches really... I really thought this was it...

now if only I could get my dreams to stop...

if only...

*sighs*

Hope you had a Happy Canada Day...

Congratulations Sasha... hope you the best...