Just Breathe...

Earlier today I was attempting to make up a post while on my phone and also in the middle of a bit of a mental break...my phone was being an asshat and not allowing me into blogger so that I could type up said post...

Now that I'm home and in a much more peaceful state of mind... I'm really quite happy that my phone prevented  me from being able to post.

Sometimes I think that I shouldn't expose myself to new people and should just save them the hassle of getting to know me, because I can be such a handful at times and trying to the most saintly...

Those that know me really well know that I'm a fairly intense and passionate person. Not necessarily negative and yet not necessarily positive things either. It's just how I am. As I said in a chat earlier today... My happiness when I have it is intense, my sadness is intense, my anger is intense and when horny...well that gets pretty intense...lol
It's like when they were handing out the doses of emotions to everyone I got greedy and ended up with 3 doses to everyone elses 1 dose.

I no longer apologize for this. It's who I am. It's likely why I have to deal with depression.

Where a text message from my Mum asking me if I'd like to come over for Thanksgiving and that she loves me can bring me to tears.

However, that intensity can bring a whole other level of awesomeness when it comes in the form of sex... may also explain a bit about my insatiable never ending libido as well... hmm now there's one I hadn't thought of.

My reward centre is fucked...when it wants something it wants it now and it doesn't want to stop getting it...lol

Anyway... I digress...

Today was a low day... A day were I was preparing for a painful hurt that hasn't happened and doesn't exist. I was prepping for an end that isn't in sight. I tried to skate it out, because sometimes that really helps...today it didn't. I tried laying in the bath and just tried to meditate and relax and let it go...and that didn't help.

I started chatting it out with Burton...and by 'started chatting it out' I sort of blind-sided her with a bit of a meltdown... Sometimes a level head that's 3000 miles away is what you need. And the convincing me that I should just say something to Sugarbear instead of fretting over what was probably nothing...
btw - no probably about it... it was nothing.
not that I want to discredit my own emotions...just sometimes they are like a run away train...especially around the end of the month...lol

I need to stop complicating shit...and I need to stop letting my brain convince me that everything is going to go to shit.

I also realized that I need to go back to taking my vitamin D...especially now that we'll be heading into winter again.

Taking a deep breath...

On the list of things marked as 'Other'...
I'm officially finished my job, need to find another it seems.
Skating is going to resume this Thursday,,,can't wait to get back to training. Although not looking forward to all the 'business' that goes along with the league.
I've been so sad, my beautiful friend Monette's 24 year old daughter died. And just a couple weeks ago my wonderful friend Judy lost her battle with cancer, leaving her lovely wife Oklahoma behind. I'm too far away from either of them to even give them a hug and tell them I love them.
Also.. I CANNOT wait until the hallowe'en party that's coming up in 24 days...!!

Hallowe'en 2012

Hallowe'en 2013