They're young, slim, smooth and attractive. They catch the eye, make me nervous and want to throat punch someone.
I hate them. My stomach rolls when I see them, their pictures and I feel like I'm going to puke. My chest tightens and I feel myself starting to build a wall to harden so that the blow when it lands I can slough it off that it won't affect me.
I feel the venom I want to spit, the hatred bubbling up and I swallow it all back down. I feel the sneer take over and I want to lash out. I want to hurt everyone before they can hurt me. I want to gouge out their eyes.
Everything tightens up, winding tight like a spring...ready to be released at a moments notice.
I don't want to harden myself getting ready for the blow...I don't want to think that it's coming.
I'm not young any more... I've never been slim... I don't have a smooth stomach or even ass...
My jaw clenches as the tears start to prick at my eyes...my chin quivers as my breathing deepens...
I try to smile but it comes out pained.
My throat burns as I try not to cry. Is the pain in the end worth the happiness of now...
just breathing through it... when it comes... it comes...
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