In 1998 at a Hallowe'en party standing at a table next to my best friend a person asked us... Are you two together? We looked at each other and then back at the person and in unison said 'No'... the person chuckled and said 'well you should be.' We looked at each other again and shrugged and said 'I dunno...ya wanna?'
That's when we started 'dating' and it was just after that we ended up moving in together... it was never an earth shattering falling in love or head over heels... it was a comfortable setup... we had always enjoyed each others company...
At the beginning I had been going through a lot of testing because there had been some abnormalities in some tests I had done on my cervix and after talking with my doctor about what comes next he suggested that if I wanted anymore children that I should likely do that rather soon because the procedures that he was talking about doing could limit whether or not I could have more children.
I already had the Manchild so I knew I wanted at least one more.
I was quite worried.
My best friend is/was The Man. We lived together and of course I love him. We discussed children and Boychild came along.
The Man and I also had conversations about the fact that he and I had vastly different needs when it came to sexual appetites.
He was actually the first one to bring up an open relationship and said that it would be more for my benefit. We established some ground rules which evolved and changed over time as things are want to do.
As time went on so did we...living together and raising the boys and I would have a guy here or there to satiate my needs.
And then... I fell hard for another guy. I was confused...and distraught. I didn't know what to do...because of how I was raised I assumed that I couldn't possibly love two people. So I told The Man that I was leaving and moving away.
Shit happened...I came home. Moved back in with The Man and my boys.
Years later I fell in love with another...Bing. We tried to make it work with him so far away and The Man and I here. It lasted nearly 4 years before Bing didn't want to do it anymore.
The Man has been my rock...my go to when things are rough. I do love him. I never really fell in love with him though...I didn't have the butterflies and the always thinking about him stuff. There were and are times when I want him around to talk to and to figure shit out with, but I found that I was never really physically or sexually attracted to him like I was with the other two.
Over the last 2 and a half years we've been living more like room mates than like lovers. He's been my support when my anxiety attacks come or when my depression hits hard. He's been my touchstone when I'm trying to figure shit out with other men. Just like you would do with your best friend over wine or beer.
This last year and a half we've barely even slept together. Maybe as many times as I can count on one hand.
For nearly a year I had been exclusively with SB and The Man and I have just been room mate best friends living together. When the exclusivity with SB and I stopped in February, and I started dating others again, it was nice that it didn't change things with The Man and I.
And why not? If we still get on so well why should we bother to move apart? We still have a son at home who would benefit by having his parents here in the same house loving him and taking care of him. Financially it's easier on both of us to live in the same house.
I have a great amount of love for The Man and would hate to lose him from my life, he is as I said my greatest supporter and the best friend I could ever have.
In a world as cruel as the one we live in can be why not stick together as a clan?
I'm probably a dick for this...living with a man who I care a great deal about especially because he's a great father to my child, but who I am not truly in love with. It works for us. We talk shit out about our feelings and we're honest about everything.
He's been compared to a saint for "dealing with me and my shit" according to friends and family...and me.
After 18 years we have settled into a groove of what works for us...why should I move out and struggle in a place of my own just to maybe find someone who would want to date me?
All the men I've been with tend to be amazed by me and then my novelty seems to wear off and they chuck me aside.
So why deal with that alone? I live with my best friend whose ear I can talk off about how dumb boys are for hours...lol
I live with my best friend...he's the best damn room mate I could ever ask for.
