I'm A Loser Baby... So Why Don't Ya Kill Me...

No clocks at license branches? No problem! | IndyStar.com

Ok whoever came up with this is a fuckin idiot who has never heard of pocket or wrist watches... puh-lease someone tell me this is a fuckin joke...

LOSER!!

I Been Thinking About My Doorbell, When Ya Gonna Ring It...?

First I'd like to congratulate Night and Skyye... Skyye is pregnant with her third and Night's first child... I believe in her blog she says she's due in July... Good Luck to them...

ok now on to something that I've been keeping from everyone...

it's in my car... it's a mystery... it's been kept a secret even from me... until I discovered it completely by mistake... I was about to turn a corner when it happened... and thats when I found it...

I have in my car... a mystery button!!!
I'm so excited... it's a button in the car that happens to have no use what so ever!!

on my steering column I have two lil arms... the one on the right is for the wipers... up and down turns on and speeds up the wipers and on the end of the arm is a little knob type thing that adjusts the delay on the wipers.... ok and the other arm is on the left side of the steering wheel... on the end of that arm is a little knob/dial (like on the right one) it turns the fog lights and the headlights on... flip the arm up or down and thats the blinkers.. pull it forward and you got your high beams... normal stuff right?
well here comes the mystery button...

on the end of the left arm where the dial is... if you put your finger right on the end of the arm... you can push this button in and out...

It Doesn't Do Anything!!
(laughing hysterically)

I've decided that my car is female... it's bitchy... it's bitchy ...it's moody... does what it wants too at times... oh yeah did I mention it's bitchy?? ;)

So I have decided that the mystery button that doesn't do anything is my cars clit >:)
Any time the car starts acting up... I push the button in and out and she feels much better :D

shhhh don't tell anyone... the mystery button must stay a secret

"It'll be you and me up in the trees, and the forest will give us the answer... it'll be you and I, up in the sky... it's a combination for disaster... we got one shot, so where do we go from here?... it'll be you and me up in the trees, and the forest will give us the answer it'll be you and I up in the sky it's a combination for disaster... I know theres more for us than this life"

You Can't Always Get What You Want...

Why do I care what other people think?

And its the people that normally I could care less about...

You don't know me motha fucker! You don't know what I've been through... You don't know half the shite that I've seen... but you sit there and persume to know me.
You think you're better than me... you are no better than anyone else... you're just a scared little shite like everyone else...
You think you know more and have been through more... you don't know that... you can't prove that... cause you don't know me.

so...
FUCK YOU!!!


*sigh*
to everyone else... I hope y'all had a good day yesterday...

oh and hun Jarhead is a movie... it's rated R and coming out on the 4th... and hell yeah you know I wanna be the first in line...

this whole not smoking bit... is killing me... I'm so irritable... I want to slice everyones throats...
I figured the car breaking down would get me smoking again...nope I figured being short on cash and wondering where rent is going to come from would get me smoking again...nope I figured being sick and my kid being sick would get me back smoking again...nope

you wanna know what almost made me go out and buy a pack a smokes tonight...
some person who doesn't know me... telling me I'm a liar, that I don't know what I'm talking about, calling me an idiot, refusing to listen to what I have to say...
I thank you... you jerk for testing me... for I passed with flying colours...

But I won't let you do that anymore...
I've got enough people in my life who do know me to do that...

It Ain't Pretty When The Pretty Leaves You With No Place To Go....

:O omg...

I got spammed... I thought it was a myth... a rumour of sorts... the untangible... I got Spammed!

Me?!? *shakes head*

I refuse to go and get one of those irritating verification code things... just because I find them annoying...

Ok so I would like to announce that my car has made it home safe and sound... $350 bucks later...
she accelerates again... she doesn't shake anymore... she's not banging or clanking... but if she does anything like this again she'll be seeing a wreckers *evil angry look*

Things are coming together for the Kids Halloween Party... seems like I'm decorating more for the dance we're putting on two nights before hand... *sigh* but whatever...
I'm fairly proud of myself tho... I've been snagging some door prizes...

But how dreadfully boring...

I had a strange dream the other night...
I was told that if I righted it... it would stop... I was confused so asked what they meant by that... so they said "it doesn't have to be like this...if you get back to it... things will get better"

still pickin my brain on that one... ;)
I'll let ya know what comes out

(edited)*** Holy Crap I got spammed twice!! on the same post!! by the same guy!! LMFAO***

If you start me up, If you start me up I’ll never stop

ok so I guess I should give you an up date on the car... lol
I was pissed did I happen to mention that in my last post?

ok so I hear from the mechanic today and he tells me that what is wrong with the car is it needs a ignition coil assembly and a module .... hmm ok.... this is what he told Raistlan the other day when Raistlan was in there as well... however he also told Raistlan that they would have to call a wreckers to get the part because they don't have... Canadian Tire doesn't have an auto part??

Anyway I couldn't find online the exact one for our car... which happens to be a 1992 (yes thats not a typo...don't ask about the year of our car...I'll likely blow a gasket if you do) Oldsmobile Achieva S it's silver...

but anyway, the glowing thing from under the car "looks like" it was the converter which apparently will get fucked up if the ignition assembly gets messed up... I dunno how those dots connect but I don't care... I'll keep my eye on it when we get the car back....

So yeah he called me and told me that it will cost almost $400 dollars... thats including the estimate we got done as well... oh I would love to be a mechanic... lol so much for rent this month...
oh well we'll figure something out...
so theres the update ;)

It's Time To Get Things Started, It's Time To Get Things Right....

I'm sooooo fucking mad....

Did I break a fucking mirror that I don't remember....???

Exactly one month after purchasing the car... I was turning a corner to go to pay a bill... when all of a sudden I hear some strange banging clunking type sound... then all of a sudden it stalls... so I throw on the hazards and put the car into neutral... try starting the car... same clunking banging sound and it won't start... Raistlan gets out we push it around the corner onto a lil dead end street with no traffic.... still can't get the car to start... finally after awhile if I started the car while in neutral or park and revved the gas it would stay going as long as I kept my foot on the gas... *sigh*

ONE FUCKING MONTH!!!

I walked a block away to the Canadian Tire and called my mom's cell, my sisters cell and their home phone... because we were supposed to be meeting them in Niagara Falls to pick up Gambit... yeah they went to watch a movie....
So I was walking back to the car and I noticed a strange glowing from under the car...
I get closer and Raistlan had the car running... again because his foot was on the gas...
I motion to him to turn off the car and to get out... the nosey neighbour from across the street comes out and says "oh hey I was wondering if you had noticed that..." so I'm pointing the glowing out to Raistlan trying to ignore the old guy before I smack him out... he says" hey is there still someone in the car..." I turn and look at the guy showing him on my face just exactly what I would like to do to him... he shuts up goes in the house... I explain to Raistlan that I'm gonna take Keenan down the street to McDonalds.. he could go to Canadian Tire and see if he could get some help from them... he opts to come to McDonalds instead...

so we walk the six blocks to MacDonalds and I used the payphone to try calling my mom again... she answers her cell this time.. says she'll be to McD's in 20 mins...

So the three of them show up... and I figure ok so I'll talk to my sis about using her CAA... so we finish eating and we drive over to the car.. where my absolutely infinitely completely all encompassing fucking moronic mother decides that she has the best idea of pushing MY car with her van...
she figures she'll push my car up a hill into a four lane road that is one of the busiest next to the highway...
and then push it to make a left hand turn into the parking lot of the Canadian Tire... oh yeah and have it at the completely opposite side of the parking lot from the automotive department...

So after getting into a yelling match about this with her in the middle of the street, she completely disregards everything I have to say about it and proceeds to do it anyway...

She completely disregarded me infront of my children... which pretty much sends them the message that "Mommy knows nothing, don't listen to her"

Thanks Mom you inconsiderate fucking hosebeast bitch.

Get Up, Come On Get Down With The Sickness...

So as many people know Raistlan and my hours are completely different now at work... which works for us... he works from 6am to 2:30pm and I work from 6pm to 11pm...

which pretty much means I'm sleeping when he leaves, He's sleeping when I get home... I joke and tell people that we sometimes bump into each other going in or out of the bathroom...
Sometimes (depending on the situation) I'm going to bed as he's getting up... well one of those situations reared it's ugly head last night... I was getting into bed at 4:30am and he was just waking up... so we ended up bumping into each other in bed >:D take that how ya want ... lol

The reason that I was rolling into bed was not just because I was talking to friends online... but also because Keenan (the youngest) wasn't feeling well, and he was kind up and down most of the night...


So after bumping into Raistlan in bed til 6am (he went in for 7 this morning) I finally fall asleep... only to be awoken by the sound of a small sob filled voice saying "Mommy my stomach really hurts" (I hate it when my baby's sick)
So I stumble out of bed.. give the boy some gravol, make him some toast and give him a cup of water... of course now I'm also trying to convince him that it would be in his best interest to go back to sleep... because it'll make him feel better... and I could use some more sleep as well...

Just as he's about to pass out... he sits up real quick says... "Mommy my stomach REALLY hurts agaaaaiii...." *insert puking here* eww... ok try to get him to the toilet as quickly as possible, he's trailing behind me...well... leaving a trail... *insert me looking to the heavens for any kind of assistance* get him situated at the toilet with a glass of water... tell him to stay there til I come back... proceed to follow the path while cleaning it back to the livingroom... take the blanket off the couch... put it in the laundry... change the pillow... find a puke bucket... go back to the bathroom... the worst sight in the world... a little tiny boy hunched over the toilet hugging it little body unvoluntarily arching and tensing because of gagging and puking... it's enough to make you cry I tell ya...

Rub his back.. get him cleaned up, take him back out to the couch in the livingroom... to a new pillow, a new blanket, his new best friend for the day his very own lil puke bucket and of course his cartoons and toast... were he starts eating his toast... now that he swears he feels better (while looking as white as a little ghost)... who eats promptly after puking their guts out?? actually I can think of one guy I know that might... lol

Anyway, so now I'm waiting for the gravol to kick in... make him pass out so that I can catch a few more Z's... which I think might happen soon...

oh and by the way did I happen to mention how I quit smoking 34 hours ago... *pulling hair out*

Calling Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones Wake Up Now....

So I went to my family doctor and my cardiologist yesterday...

My family doctor tells me that from all the coughing I was doing somehow I damaged my vocal cords... they are swollen... so I'm on voice rest... supposed to talk in a low whisper if I have to talk at all...

My cardiologist and I agreed that I would go to Toronto General Hospital for surgery... so I'm waiting on them to call me to find out when I have to go up to Toronto...

I'll let ya know when the date comes in...

My Heart Can't Possibly Break When It Wasn't Whole To Start With...

So I have a doctors appointment on Monday the 17th... two of them actually... going down to see my GP in Fort Erie to find out why I'm still sick... thats at 10:30am and then I have to race back home again and make sure that I get Keenan to school... then I have to race over and pick up Raistlan at work at 2:30 drop him off at home and then I have to race to Niagara Falls to go see my cardiologist at 3:30pm and of course this is all started off by me driving Raistlan to work at 5 in the morning.

Rasitlans new schedule (which sucks) is 6am to 2:30pm with Wednesday and Thursday off... wtf?!?
I don't mind the 6am to 2:30pm we discussed that shift.. but Wednesday and Thursday???
My new shift is 6pm to 11pm with Monday, Tuesday and Saturday off... talk about not having any full days off together...
Fucking Hell...

I'm sitting here looking at the warning on the side of an old pack of cigarettes... which sayd "Warning: Each year, theequivalent of a small city dies from tobacco use" of course it has a little bar graph to support it's theory... labelled Estimated Deaths in Canada, 1996... Murders = 510 Alcohol = 1900 Car Accidents = 2900 Suicides = 3900 Tobacco = 45000... first thing that comes to my mind is... population control...then the second thought was whoa people kill themselves more often than they get into car accidents...?

Nothing brightens a persons day more than having a good friend call... thanks Squasha that made me feel better... hope you get well soon as well... I say next time you call we leave out the coughing contest ... LOL

Have you ever noticed that there are people out there that won't come right out and tell you that they care and are worried.. but there's little things they do or say that make you realize they do...

My mom won't talk about my heart condition.. at first I just thought she didn't care.. then I realized that it was because one of her babies had a health problem that she couldn't fix... it dawned me the other day... when I started to wonder if this heart problem is hereditary...could I possibly give it to my kids?? and thats when I realized that about my mom...

I've been asked to keep some people updated on whats going on with my doctors appointments and such... so I hope y'all don't get too bored with that being in most of my posts..

Ok I've decided I don't want to drive Raistlan to work anymore...

I got to sleep to early this morning and then Raistlan woke me up a couple of hours (literally) later...

I think I'm going back to bed :(

No No No No Don't Phunk With My Heart...

ok so I tried to post an entry the other day here and blogger posted only my title... that was fucked up... spent over an hour typing out a witty and funny and dramatic and heart wrenching post and poof... blogger sucked it out into cyber space... I was so pissed that it took me two days to calm down enough to sit down and type anything...

So.. Sunday was no fun... I ended up in the hospital in what they called an SVT... pretty much I had a cardiac episode and my heart was going wonky again... heart rate was 181 bpm... so they hooked me up to a bunch of machines and injected some kind of drug called denizen... it is horrible... it made it feel like everything in my body had stopped... I couldn't breathe, I couldn't focus, I could barely move, I couldn't feel my heart anymore... it was absolutely horrible... it lasted about 5 seconds... but it was the longest 5 seconds in my life... I literally felt like I was dying...

So I called my cardiologist today and told the receptionist about the visit to the ER... she scheduled me for a follow-up... after my last appointment I was supposed to call and let them know where I want to go to have some sort of procedure/surgery done... my choices are either Toronto (which if I go there could go in and get it done in 4 to 6 weeks) or Hamilton (which if I go there could take 4 to 6 months)... I don't know how to spell the procedure however I can explain it to ya ;)
they want to go into an artery in my leg, go up and into my heart, bother my heart until it starts freaking out and then they want to zap (the doctors words not mine) a nerve that is misbehaving... I'm sorry let me repeat that.... THEY WANT TO USE A LASER ON THE INSIDE OF MY HEART!!! anyway... if they slip I will end up with a pacemaker... A FUCKING PACEMAKER!!! at 27 years old...
so you can probably see why I haven't called them back yet...
but I think I've decided...
I think I'll go to Toronto... :(

So thanksgiving was on monday... went to Mum's house and had turkey with all the fixin's... it was fantastic... we need to have big turkey dinners more often in the year... :D

So with all the crap thats been going on with everybody's health I haven't been able to get back to the gym... I'm hoping to go back this week and get my routine back going again...

I have started a night class once a week that I am absolutely loving :D I'm taking a spanish class with my sister on Tuesdays... we're gettin all practiced up for when we go to Cuba in January :D

anyway... gotta run.. I need to get to sleep I have to drive Raistlan into work in a few hours