There's No Need To Feel No Shame, So Relax And Sip Upon My Champagne...

So for some reason I always come out looking asian when smiling or laughing a lot... last night was the mans xmas party for work... it was a good time got to say hi to some people that I haven't seen in a really long time... dinner wasnt too bad... went into the casino afterwards and hit up the nickel, one cent and two cent slot machines... oh I know big spenders eh? *chuckles* all in all it was a good night... came home to an empty house and slipped into bed and went to sleep... I had spent two days pretty much.. looking for my favourite pair of black heels and my curling iron... and in doing so went in and rummaged around in every box and bag that is left that needs to be unpacked... and because of doing that managed to trip my allergies back into over drive because as everyone I care about knows... the conditions of the apartment were not good when we left and I was very very ill because of it... well because of that I've had to wash and clean absolutely everything that comes out of a box... which of course makes the process of unpacking even slower but it also cuts down on my stuffy head and my headaches... but because of my mad hunting I'm back to where I was... not being able to breathe, needing my inhaler way more then I have before, stuffed up nose, sinus pressure and pain... so the count is on 24 days until xmas/family coming here and I need to clean the stuff and unpack faster... plus shop... plus bake... plus plus plus... well you get the picture...

So anyway today was a relaxing day... just hung out wrapped some presents and watch House with the man... then the boychild came home... so yeah all in all just a really lazy day... apparently I was looking pretty sexy in my dress last night... well then again the man is a biased source...

Not much else to say right now... just wishing the gas man will be here on time on Wednesday and be able to figure out why only a portion of the heaters are working... and getting excited about the holiday! yay!

You'll Never See What You've Done To Me, You Can Take Back Your Memories, They're No Good To Me...

So it was a hard decision to come to but we have decided that Christmas for the kids is much more important then pills... So I haven't told my doctor as of yet that I won't be taking any pills this month but I will be going about the blood tests to see if it's just because of the pills that my insides were working correctly the last 3 months... it was like a balancing act... on one hand a hundred dollars for some pills for me... or a hundred dollars towards christmas... we decided that christmas was more important even if it does make the two of us a little sad...

I was very close to saying I quit a couple of days ago... as I lay in pain in bed listening to the man sleeping beside me... and all I wanted to do was cry... again I felt disappointment and felt like a disappointment... which of course isn't good for the self esteem... but I know that the man isn't disappointed in me in any sort of way... he's made sure to make me realize that every step of the way... but I can't help but still feel it initially when it first happens...

I've been having a wonderful time with the kids the past couple of weeks... they both really seem to be enjoying movie night and game day... which both are pretty self explanatory...

However, it hasn't all been rainbows and sunshine... been having a bit of a trying time with the manchild.... he seems to think that at 11 he tells us what he's doing and that we have to just be ok with that... *chuckles* He's learning the hard way that you don't push mom and dad around like that... he just got off of a 2 week grounding for going behind our backs and reactivating an MSN acct that I had deactivated on Thanksgiving... I told him that this girl he had been talking to and professing his undying love for... was bad news and since he's never actually met her... she's not his girlfriend, never mind the fact that his father and I both told him that he's 11! he doesn't have a gf... nor will he until he's 16... seem harsh? too bad... I know what both his father and I were doing before we were 16 and the manchild will not be doing that... so come to find out that after he got off his grounding he went over to his friends house and readded this girl to his facebook after I had deleted her... oh boy... that was a mistake... I've now blocked her from his facebook and he is of course now grounded again.

So yeah not all sunshine and rainbows... but then again ya can't get the rainbows without a bit of rain...

in other news I worked my ass off today unpacking more boxes... yeah I know it's taking me forever but hey that's how it works when you're the head of the household, not feeling well and decorating for xmas... on top of all sorts of meetings...

the man and I have been spending all sorts of quality time together and it's been fantastic... I find myself getting bored with being on the computer and listening to music and we end up meeting up in the bedroom to watch a show or lay there and talk or play the "When We..." game... you know like 'When we win the lotto this is what we'll do and where we'll go...' but more often then not when we meet up it's just to be together and enjoy each other... I didn't realize just how much I had been missing that...

what's also interesting is that... the boychild has been talking an awful lot about the more christian of subjects... I told his father the other night that it just might be possible that as pagan as we are we might be raising a christian... oughta be interesting if it continues that way... at least if he'd like to learn more about that religion I'm well versed with the scripture... at least I've read the entire bible... both versions... I of course prefer the old testament but enh to each their own I say... So anyway if he wishes to presue it further I'll be able to help him out with that... just because I don't believe that a man named Jesus Christ ever existed doesn't mean that others don't... the most basic thing I've ever wanted to instill in the children is tolerance... to not judge others especially those who are different or believe differently... I wish everyone would teach their children that... but then again... I'm a bit naive that way I guess...

hmmm not much else to say I guess... Happy Turkey Day to all the Americans who read this still... hope you had a good one with lots of family interaction...

I'm Open, You're Closed, Where I Follow, You'll Go...

Yes it is true... I'm completely insane... but seriously how many of you didn't realize that already... *laughs*

I'm so excited about the upcoming holiday ... you know the one that's a month away... that I had my mom bring over my decorations and we put up our tree today... and I think our banister leading upstairs has more lights on it then our tree does... *laughs*

I've gotten to the point where I know that we haven't got the money to buy the one present the entire family wanted... but... I'm ok with that... I know that we won't completely all waste away if we don't have it... I know the kids will be a bit sad and disappointed... but they have been forewarned that we just don't have any money for christmas this year... it'll be a different tune on the actual morning of but... at least I've tried to warn them...

So I'll have to get some pics of the really loud banister and of the tree...

I think Jasper (the parrot) was a bit curious as to how and why I was building a tree next to his cage this morning as I sang to him and put up the artificial tree while the kids played upstairs... They eventually made their way downstairs so that they could put all the decorations on and the man put the lovely lady upon the top of the tree... then we made our way down to the dollar store bought some tinsel and a few small gifts and made our way home where we taught the kids to play euchre for game night...
After they went off to bed I put the tinsel on the tree ... and now I'm enjoying a hot cup of cocoa while I looking at my lovely lit up tree and chatting with my man...

and now...

back to Mouse Hunt!!

When You See My Face I Hope It Gives You Hell, Hope It Gives You Hell...

"Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself
Where did it all go wrong?
But the list goes on and on
Truth be told I miss you
Truth be told I'm lying"

Alrighty... latest update...

On the Health front... everyone seems to still have a cough... I'm able to do more stuff in a day now without feeling like I have to sit down every few minutes. So not back to 100% yet, more like 85% *chuckles* It stays fairly cool in here which is way different then the apartment so I'll be knitting up some slippers, I find my feet get really cold.
Went to the doctors the other day about the other thing we've been dealing with... seems every things a go... just need to get the timing down. *chuckles* Ya know I never had to worry about things like that when I was younger. Oh well... it'll happen when it wants to.

On the Home front... we're not exactly unpacked yet... we have a lot of those 'last minute' boxes, those are the boxes of stuff that were thrown together at the last minute and there's not really a spot for them at the new place until every thing else is set up... I don't mind those boxes so much... I just mind that it's all those that are by the door of the room that has all of our boxes in it... So I've been moving those slowly upstairs to the other spare bedroom we have so that I'll have room to sit down and go through all that stuff to see whether or not any of it is important. And if it's not... gonna file it under G.
So it's been a slow process... because of those boxes as well as because of how my health has been.

I've invited a bunch of people for yule so hopefully we'll have it all done by then... I've given myself that as a deadline so hopefully I can keep it. I've invited my mom, my sister, mom's bf, my grandmother and my aunt, as well as my oldests father and sister (if she's with him)... So it may just be a house full of people which I haven't had in a long time so it'll be nice.

I think I'll invite my dad but just not for the same night... that could be just disastrous...

Saw the first snow of this year... it was just falling outside my lovely bay window a few moments ago... which of course made me sigh since I'll have to go find all of our boots and hope that the youngests still fit him... if not then uh oh...

We've warned both of the kids that this christmas for them might not be as fruitful as the past christmases since we've just moved and had to pay for all sorts of things... so even though it's only Nov 16th... christmas is on my mind already since they've been coming to us with stuff they want... The man and I were hoping to be able to save up enough to get them a wii this year... yeah that's not looking like it's going to happen... but never know there's been christmas miracles for this family before...

Hmm I'm trying to think if there's anything else going on... Well if there's something else you want to know just leave it in my comments and I'll answer ya...

"Now you'll never see
What you've done to me
You can take back your memories
They're no good to me
And here's all your lies
If you look me in the eyes
With the sad, sad look
That you wear so well

When you see my face
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell"

Song: Gives You Hell
Artist: All American Rejects

Moves So Fast, She Moves So Fast Into That Wedding Ring...

Oh boy...
So much to say and so tired right now...

We've moved. We're in the house now, after we've unpacked everything and it looks decent around here I'll go ahead and post some pictures of the place. The kids are so totally stoked about the house, they love it... they have a bedroom that they share and a play room where their computer, tv, video games and such are all going to be set up in the next day or so...

The man and I are absolutely loving our new bed... King size! Schwing! ... no more of his feet hanging off the end, no more being squished up against a wall. *laughs*

I've been battling (all through this move) a sinus infection, lung infection all on top of a cold... so not nice... on meds for that so not really going to dampen my spirits any as I'm flying high... (not from the meds) right now...

I've been editing my life a bit in the last little while... been pruning some dead weight... now if it was only that easy to lose some dead weight *chuckles*
I've been cutting out some of my time on the computer... makes it easy when you sit down in front of it and immediately feel as if you're going to vomit... yeah not good... mush has been suffering for it... but hey since there's really no one logging in there guess it doesn't matter much, so yeah that might just go into the toilet soon... *shrugs* kinda feels like a waste of like 3 years of my life that I've put into it but... c'est la vie, n'est pas?
We'll see how it all pans out... I'll probably log back in to it a bit more often after I'm completely unpacked ... which is more then I can say for the other staffers on it... I've been at least logging in to check my jobs and make sure the players are doing ok...

I realized a long time ago I was depressed, and I was only feeling happy when I had outside contact from others via the computer... moving has changed my outlook on that sort of thing... the longer I stayed in that hole the more I clutched onto those who were there for me ... I thought they understood me, and even loved me... ended up I was just a hermit that was the butt of their jokes... but now, I know that I don't need those people... I used to feel like if I disappeared for a night or two that they'd forget all about me... now? I really don't care if they do... they were never real friends, least they stopped treating me like one... the last 4 years has been a constant downward spiral... things are so bright and colourful now that I just shake my head when I look back at them... how pathetic I had been... but not anymore... I made a promise to those above that I would get back to the path they had started to lead me down before the bumps in the road got me down...

I've been talking to the Gods a lot lately... mainly in prayers of thanks, promises to myself and them that I'll not go back to what I had been for the last four years... so with that, I think I've mentioned it before but... I'll be going back to teaching... going to open up the temple for rituals and meetings...

the couple of friends that I really feel close too that I've met online I'll stay in contact with but I forsee a lot less computer in my future...

*sighs contently* ok so there's this huge story to go along with moving... but I think I'll save it for another post...