Happy Samhain to all my Pagan loving friends!!!

I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)

And I would do anything for love
I'd run right into hell and back
I would do anything for love
I'll never lie to you and that's a fact

But I'll never forget the way you feel right now--
Oh no--no way--
I would do anything for love
But I won't do that
I won't do that
Anything for love
I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love
But I won't do that
I won't do that

Some days it don't come easy
Some days it don't come hard
Some days it don't come at all
and these are the days that never end

Maybe I'm crazy
But it's crazy and it's true
I know you can save me
No one else can save me but you

As long as the planets are turning
As long as the stars are burning
As long as your dreams are comming true--
You better believe it!--

That I would to anything for love
And I'll be there until the final act--
I would do anything for love!
And I'll take a vow and seal a pact--

But I'll never forgive myself if we don't go all the way--
Tonight--
I would do anything for love!
I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love
But I won't do that
I won't do that...

I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of
But I just won't do that...

Somedays I pray for silence
Somedays I pray for sould
Somedays I just pray to the God of Sex and Drums and Rock'N Roll

Some night I lose the feeling
Some nights I lose control
Some night I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls

Maybe I'm lonely
And that's all I'm qualified to be
There's just one and only
The one and only promise I can keep

As long as the wheels are turning
As long as the fires are burning
As long as your prayers are coming true--
You better believe it--!

That I would do anything for love!
And you know it's true and that's a face
I would do anything for love!
And there'll never be no turning back--

But I'll never do it better than I do it with you
So long--
So long--
I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love
But I won't do that
I won't do that

I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of
But I won't do that...

But I'll never stop dreaming of you
Every night of my life--
No way--

I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love
But I won't do that
I won't do that!

Girl:
Will you raise me up?
Will you help me down?
Will you get me right out if this Godforsaken town?
Will you make it all a little less cold?

Boy:
I can do that!
I can do that!

Girl:
Will you hold me sacred?
Will you hold me tight?
Can you colorize my life I'm so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?

Boy:
I can do that!
I can do that!

Girl:
Will you make me some magic
With your own two hands?
Can you build an emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?

Boy:
I can do that!
I can do that!

Girl:
Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will ya hose me down with holy water--if I get to hot--?
Will ya take me to places I've never known?

Boy:
I can do that!
I can do that!

Girl:
After a while you'll forget everything
It was a brief interlude
And a midsummer night's fling
And you'll see that it's time to move on

Boy:
I won't do that!
I won't do that!

-Meatloaf

This is dedicated to the one who 'won't do that'

Reason #10,569 Why I Love My Guy

Laying on our bed watching a movie the phone rings at 7:30pm.

oh wait gotta back up for a second.

So I have what's called 'Call Privacy' on my phone. Pretty much if you call me with a blocked number you get a message first that states that I have this service and that you have one of two options you can choose at that point.

Option 1 - Press the * key to release the id of your phone number, which will then pop up on my id screen.

Option 2- Press # and type in a phone number, which will pop up on my id screen

Keeping that in mind I'll continue...

So the phone rings and Raistlan jumps up to answer it, now a lot of the time he reads out the number if it doesn't seem familiar to him and I'll tell him who it is if I recognize the number.
He rattles off the number on the display and as I'm processing the number which in my head a little voice is going 'Wait a second we know this number' - then out it slips as he's pressing the talk button "That's our phone number" in an odd questioning kind of way.
This is what I hear as I say that

*beep* (of talk button being pressed) "I know that I am not calling myself" in a 'don't be fucking stupid' kind of way coming from Raistlan *beep* (of the off button being pressed)

I lost it, I started laughing so hard I thought I was going to piss myself.
You see one of the collectors that loves calling us seems to think it's more likely that we're going to answer the phone if we see our own phone number on the display. That's the first time either of us had actually answered it though.

We went back to watching our movie after we stopped laughing, but every once in a while one of us would snicker quietly as we thought about it again.

Wise Words To Live By

Don't Make Someone A Priority If They Only Make You An Option.

They Approach Me In Dread

I don't know no Shame
I feel no Pain
I can't see the Flame

Look out she's singing in her blog posts again *laugh*
*blinks* Wait is she dancing in the living room while she's singing?
*laughs*

Anyway...

So I have an interview today...
before you get too excited as my mom pointed out when I told her about it "So you won't actually be making any money...?"
I have an interview with an interesting lady (from what I can tell from her site)
It's an interview to get into a course... yes like school... but this would be a course to learn a form of Japanese Massage

For those of you who actually know me... you know that this is right up my alley... I've been working towards my Reiki Master, I've taken Chakra Balancing and learned how to do them myself, I've learned a bit of Therapeutic Touch... even dabbled a bit with Chinese Meridians... All for the sake of being able to help and heal people without drugs and medications. It's another reason why I've been plying myself with Psychology courses for the same reason. Somewhere deep down I'd like to be able to help people, help them to better themselves, or find themselves or just to understand themselves but looking in places they've never looked before.

It might be brave
I will live by my own policies
I will sleep with a clear conscience
I will sleep in peace
Maybe it sounds mean
But I really don't think so

Wish me luck.
Because I really want this, even if I do have to take on another part time job while I take the course.

And now I go back to dancing around the livingroom

Bad Poetry at 6am

sometimes we slip
sometimes we fall
sometimes we let are guard down

but then we right ourselves
but then we dust ourselves off and stand up
and we post that little sentry back on duty again

you'll meet those people who walk right up
saying let me in
Your little sentry guard just smiles and says
why should I
as he holds his sword to their throat

most will put their hands up and slowly back away
shaking their hands and apologizing
never coming around again

few on the rare occasion will stand their ground
because I need to get in there
eying the little guard and convincing him to let them through

One or two will greet him eye to eye
and make a friend of him
slipping in right by

Most won't stay once they past that sentry
they shake their head and back out
Few will apologize but most just go not saying a word

on the rarest of occasions you have to send that sentry in
and tell those inside about the mistake
they shouldn't have ever been let in
for their not allowed to stay and to go back where they have been

So when the sentry comes for you and tells you
you're not allowed
don't argue or fight with him
be happy you were in

See that if he smiles at you
you're allowed to come and visit
but never for very long

For if you stay you'll see to much
start to grow roots even
so one day
is long enough

Happy Thanksgiving

Well Happy Thanksgiving if you are Canadian

How was your thanksgiving?

mine?

It was alright I guess, got together with family played some games and ate some good food.

the down sides to my thanksgiving - burnt my hand on gravy... (yeah I know I'm so smart eh) quit my job ... (yeah I know I'm so smart eh)

anyway...

I'm tired, I'm sore... oh did I mention I'm sick again? *nods* yep... *sigh*
and I'm kinda hungry...

going to get some food...
later

Forgetting Has Nothing To Do With Forgiving.

Sometimes in stressful times or times of duress the best way to be is numb. Shut down and make it so you don't feel anything so that you can make sure that you're paying attention to what needs to be done decision wise.

I've found that you lose all feelings, including the feeling of thirst and hunger. The actual sense of touch dulls as well. The feeling of being tired is lost as well. If you can use the word feel to describe it and then shut yourself down to 'feeling' and become numb, it all does.

I haven't felt tired for days, and barely slept as well. When I did sleep I was restless.
I haven't been hungry, and have barely eaten. When I did, I felt full after a couple of bites and stopped.
I had an itch the other day and started scratching it, I barely felt it, until I realized I was completely raw in that spot.

I fell asleep last night while watching a movie with my boys, I woke up when the alarm went off. This morning at 7:25am.
I had finally yesterday after talking to a friend of mine given myself permission to be ok again. To feel whatever came my way. I realized during that conversation that although I thought I had shut down all my feelings, I still managed to be hurt during the course...

I awoke this morning with a thirst that knotted my stomach and made my body feel like sand. I awoke and realized I hadn't eaten a meal in days. I also awoke with a pain on my arm.

I'm cooking myself some breakfast and on to my second bottle of water in the last three hours.
Been laying down reading my book, talking with the boys, and probably hitting the shower after breakfast. I haven't checked my email even once worrying about whether or not anyone even noticed I wasn't around last night. Somehow I already know there's nothing there.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. ~Mahatma Gandhi

Update to the post from earlier today...

The answer to the question - Apparently forever.

So besides 2 attacks, a waterworks induced nap and an inability to keep a lucid thought in my head... *sighs*

been a good day I guess - and how was yours?

Yep I'm Still Alive

Chilling with the girls today... Alanis, Amy, Regina, Amanda, Wendy, Janis, Sinead, Melissa, Storm, Tina, KT, Christina and Billie... Yep that's my girls... one helluva play list thats for sure ;) So good I feel for anyone who doesn't have it :P *laughs*

So why am I just chilling and not working? The program I do all my work in has been fucking up, so it's a long arduous process troubleshooting via email, especially when it's an hour between emails. So between emails I'm going to start working on my curriculum vitae...

Yeah I need to find a job that pays more then what I've been doing. However, since the data entry job will be going to pick ups and drop offs once a week, I'll be able to continue doing those as well. So it just means that I'll be doing nothing but working. Sounds great right? *snickers* I know it doesn't but hey life requires money ;)

Christmas is coming faster then I'd like, bills pile up, trips get canceled, kids to feed ;) So I guess it's time to grow up and make some money. It'll do me some good to get away from my computer and out into the real world *laughs*

Banana I know you've been sending me messages and asking after me... Thank you. I love you and miss you honey. Hug the kidlets for me and John :)

Squasha I think every time I wish you'd hurry up and come home again for a visit I'm gonna put a dollar in a piggy bank ;) maybe it'll get me there to visit you faster :)

So this won't come as a big shock to some of you, but... My best friend is pissed off at me. Yep. Hard to believe eh. *sighs* Dunno how long it'll last this time. Do I feel bad? well sure I do, I feel bad that he gets pissed off that I choose not to not have an opinion about something. You'd figure people would fall down in shock at the fact that I'm keeping my opinion to myself for once. *shrugs* can't please everyone I guess. I'm at a loss, can ya tell?

Oh... as for the whole drivers license fiasco - I went in and passed my beginners with flying colours I may add... a few weeks later I passed the 1st road test (again) with flying colours as well... So now, sometime this week we'll go and book the 2nd (final) road test. If I don't pass that one (with flying colours) I'll scream.



Bible quote for the Month: (you can check my head if you'd like)
"Behold, I will cast her into a bed and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds. And I will kill her children with death; and all the churches shall know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts: and I will give unto every one of you according to your works" - Revelations 3:22 -3:23


Oy I think that means I'm going to hell. Good thing I don't believe in it eh.
Oh and yeah I don't want to talk about my birthday... and no I wasn't having a break down because I turned 29, so don't go there. ;)

So now that it's 11 (been working on this post between other things for over an hour or so) I think I need to find some food