Sometimes it's hard to not feel invisible some days... when you work to help people and they don't acknowledge you or your help... or to say that they need more... when it feels like you're giving all you've got to give to help them... it just makes you start to feel useless...
It's hard to feel wanted when you're only spoken to when people 'have nothing better to do' or are bored.
I try not to give way to things like this... to those feelings of invisible, unnoticed, unwanted, put aside and try instead to be important to myself and to my family.
People don't realize half the time how much we hurt each others feelings and are unaware of how their behaviours affect others around them because generally they're too self involved.
I don't blame it on them...I don't even blame it on the way they were raised or even society which a lot of people would... I blame myself.
I believe it's because I have high expectations. Now, is that because of myself? or is it because of the way I was raised?
I know my mum and dad did their best with me, at least I like to think that they did and didn't half-ass it when it came to raising my sister and I.
One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to be forgotten, or left behind. Or that people I love just don't care enough to remember something that I deem important.
I've nailed the incident in my past that this fear stems from and have worked on it quite a bit so that I can get past it. However, there are times that it sneaks up and makes me remember it.
Such as, if I'm sitting right in front of you, whether it be on your computer screen talking to you via and instant messenger or talking to you on the telephone. Don't keep me waiting, don't fall asleep, don't make me think that you don't deem what I have to say as important as what you have to say.
It's not that I want to be the centre of attention, it's just that I would like to be acknowledged.
There is a difference.
Maybe I'm just too sensitive... or overly sensitive
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