Step 1. Don't allow any of your furry loved ones into your bedroom.
Step 2. Assume that you are alone in your bedroom when you go to bed because of step 1.
Step 3. Drift off to sleep at about 4 o'clock in the morning.
Step 4. Feel something jump up onto the bed and touch your feet.
Step 5. Jump straight up and flick on the light only to not see anything at all, nor hear anything moving.
Step 6. Feel heart rate starting to rise.
Step 7. Look to see that bedroom door is still closed.
Step 8. Convince yourself it was nothing.
Step 9. Turn light off and start to go back to sleep feeling a little uneasy.
Step 10. When just asleep again, hear something rustle in the corner under your dresser.
Step 11. Turn light on and decide to just sleep that way. Feeling really uneasy, heart rate soaring due to being startled out of sleep again.
Step 12. Doze off with light on.
Step 13. Hear rustling noise, followed by something jumping on your bed.
Step 14. With eyes flying wide open, come face to face with the cat that you could have sworn was on the other side of the closed door when you had gone to bed. Squeal softly in surprise, chastise cat, then finally have heart attack.
Still sitting here trying to figure out how the fuck the cat got in through the closed door and trying to calm heart rate down so that I can get more then a broken hours worth of sleep.
I love you Onyx but no... I do not want to look at your balls... and I would like to keep the rest of what's left of my nine lives.
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