Beggin, beggin you... Put your loving hand out baby

I was asked out on a date.

alright wait let me start that again...

I'm on a few different networking sites... it's like people watching without actually having to get involved and those you're watching can't really see that you're watching... except on myYearbook.com

They have it so that you can actually see who has been to see your profile... little creepy sometimes... especially when you see some of the people that are checking you out.

One thing that has always fascinated me were the fact that human beings when sitting behind a computer start to lose their humanity... we lose our manners (if we ever had them) and we say shit to other people that would have had our parents beating the shit out of us, our grandparents rolling in the graves and wanting to come after us with wooden utensils... we say some of the most blunt, hurtful and seriously crude things to each other... if we don't like someone or the way they look we don't give them a second glance... if we think they're cute or handsome or something akin to that we (I'm lumping us all together in a collective WE) say some of the most crass and crude things...

I've had more complete strangers on the internet ask me about the most intimate things that happen in my bedroom then any of my friends ever have. They've asked me about my breast size, they've commented on how fat I am, how ugly I am and what my mom must look like and so on.

Why is it that we sit at our desks or on our couches and think that the words that are typed on the screen won't effect the person on the other side?

I don't just mean negatively either... I don't know about anyone else out there and I generally speak on my experiences or those that have been told to me... and it's not gender specific either... women are just as cruel as men and vice versa...

The words we type are just as hurtful, powerful and emotion triggering as those that we say out loud.

So it's interesting, gobsmacking, flabbergasting and incredible to watch people just shit on people over the webs... to see how cruel people can be when they're not held accountable...

I know you're probably wondering how in the hell we went from "I got asked out.." to this but don't worry you know me I'm full of hot air... so it'll take a few minutes...

So I generally get an inbox full of losers and assholes who send me a message, having never talked to me before or had any sort of conversation with them. Messages such as 'hw r u' <-- what the fuck is that? or 'How big are your titties there big mama?'

and various ways of asking that same question...

I don't even answer them anymore to tell them what assholes they are and I wish I knew their moms so that I could show them how disrespectful their sons are to women... it's a waste of my energy to do that over and over and over again in a day...

I give them a chance if they don't lead off with the drooling through text sound and seem like intelligent, respectful guys...

So I gave this guy, we'll call him Tom (ok like Krammit did, that is his actual name but seriously who cares), sends me a very nice respectful message saying hello, introducing himself, letting me know where abouts he's from and says he'd like to get to know me better.

So he and I correspond back and forth for a few days... by this time I've laid out the situation to him... told him about Big Daddy, told him about The Man... oh yeah the whole polyamory thing and how I'm not just cute but also a Mom... not hiding anything because generally it freaks them out and they never talk to me again. (on the flip side of that some of them then think I'm just around for sex and try to hit on me and fail miserably)

Not this guy... nope. He tells me that's fine and how he just wants to get to know me better and would even like one night to take me out and maybe have dinner and go to a movie. I tell him pretty much straight after that... that I'm not going to go out with him just so he can have sex with me. That's not what I do and that's not how this ... hmm how did Big Daddy put it... oh yeah... 'unorthodox' situation works... I'm not some whore or slut.

he says he's fine with that doesn't want me thinking it's for sex at all, he apparently just wants to get to know (and I quote) 'The most beautiful woman he's ever seen in his life' ... *blink blink* I really don't think he was looking at my pics...

Sooo... that brings us to tonight... I gave him my yahoo info and started talking to him away from myb and that's when it starts... sure it started off with regular conversation about how things are, how the weather is, what kind of movies do you like, favourite foods... and then... what are you wearing... do you like receiving oral... how big are your breasts... *sighs* and the like...

*shrugs* so ... I went from considering going on a date with this guy to not really thinking that's actually going to happen...

oh well... c'est la vie I suppose... now to go back to my people watching via the intertubes and letting the human race continue to shock me with their behaviours.

I'm not sure if the proper protocol is to wish people a 'Happy' Remembrance/Veterans day or not...

as it is I'm still really torn about how exactly I feel about the day at all... I know it's important to remember what happened and why this particular day... but I also know how I feel about wars in general...

It makes me want to absolutely cry when I see the shape of some of the soldiers when they come back nowadays... not that nowadays is any different then a hundred years ago... war just does really nasty things to people...

The men who have had to see it, witness it, take place in it... it breaks my heart and makes me cry to know... not even to know but to guess at what they've had to go through...

As I sit here and type this I'm thinking of just a couple of the things that Big Daddy told me and it makes me cry. (makes me miss him even more as well)

He left me with a piece of shrapnel that nearly got him while he was over seas... I look at it and think if it were just that much closer I would have never even gotten to meet him and I hate that thought.

Makes me also feel bad about yelling at him via a stupid email too the other day.

I hate war. I hate the political propaganda behind war. I hate what war does to the people who have to fight them. I know I probably sound like some sort of hippie or some shit but you know what... I'm human.

I miss you Big Daddy and I love you. And if no one else does today, I thank you for signing up to put yourself through that awful stuff.

Give me the money that has been spent in war and I will clothe every man, woman, and child in an attire of which kings and queens will be proud. I will build a schoolhouse in every valley over the whole earth. I will crown every hillside with a place of worship consecrated to peace. ~Charles Sumner


War does not determine who is right - only who is left. ~Bertrand Russell


It'll be a great day when education gets all the money it wants and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy bombers. ~Author unknown, quoted in You Said a Mouthful edited by Ronald D. Fuchs


I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask, "Mother, what was war?" ~Eve Merriam


The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking... the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker. ~Albert Einstein


The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations. ~David Friedman


"There are no atheists in foxholes" isn't an argument against atheism, it's an argument against foxholes. ~James Morrow


Sometimes I think it should be a rule of war that you have to see somebody up close and get to know him before you can shoot him. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter