You never know if you never try... To forgive your past and simply be mine

I have no idea what I talked about in the last post... because well I just didn't take the time to look to see what I had written about... I know that I haven't said too much lately because I've just not been feeling up to saying anything...

I will start off this post by saying I'm an idiot... for oh so many reasons but this time is because I screwed up big time with my pills and have been feeling wonky because of it... my pills are supposed to help my hormone levels stay balanced... but when I forget to take them for three days because of the excitement of an upcoming event...and then try to compensate by taking the three days worth at once... oy vey... so I took the three pills and within an hour I felt so sick...and was so out of whack... went to bed and had real bad night sweats... woke up so terribly irritable and some other emotion that I can't quite put my finger on... and ended up picking a fight with Big Daddy... yeah...that was worth it...*sigh*

Anytime I have an issue with something he's done he pretty much just gets the attitude of 'well then get rid of me if you don't like it' ... *sigh*  I think he's pretty much done with me... I suppose it was only a matter of time... everyone tires of me eventually...
He's become uncommunicative again... and when he does respond he's pretty much being a sarcastic bastard or just barely speaking in sentences... hell I had to make an appointment with him just to get him to talk to me... I just wish he'd fucking do something about his depression... he knows about it, acknowledges it and even uses it as an excuse...

I went to a craft show last weekend and was really disappointed at the fact that absolutely none of my stuff sold...oh wait... that's not entirely true...I had 7 lil bracelets all marked at 50 cents each... yeah... they sold... so woo hoo a big 3.50$ ... I was not impressed in the least... I was trying very hard not to be discouraged and sad... those around me were trying to be supportive and all saying the same things... 'it was your first show' .... 'you'll do better next time' .... blah blah blah doesn't make me feel any better...

bah... I have nothing else productive to say... not that anything I actually wrote is productive in any way... but fuck it...