Mourning...Babe...Heart...Date...Psychic...Moon...

it is with a sad heavy heart that I have finally realized that I need to...*le sigh* replace my mouse... I love my mouse...it's one of those crazy trackball on top stationary mice where I just have to move my thumb... it started to die last year and I was able to trick it by switching the settings to think it was a left handed mouse...but it has caught on to my nefarious plan and has started dying on me again... I've tried the whole taking it apart and cleaning it and other stuffs like that...it feels better for awhile but then it just gets all old and crotchity on me again...it's lasted me at least 5 years now so we had a good run... and really after finding out what the Man pay for it (he had purchased it for my birthday) it's definitely been worth the money he paid... *sigh* my poor mouse...how I loves it so...

Babe? hmm... I'm not really the babe type...I don't call people that, I find it awkward when people call me that... it's just... I dunno... Babe is a little pink pig... and yeah I'm short and fat and pinkish in colour but... really... I find Babe to be one of the most annoying 'pet names' especially when a complete stranger uses it...


**later on in the evening...**

so not sure if I should work from last week to now or today back to last week... lol

Thursday... so for the first time in like ever I met up with someone for something akin to a blind date...met this guy online and  we decided that we would get together and go for dinner and since he'd never been here before he wanted to see Niagara Falls... so being somewhat smart I met him down the road at the plaza and away we went... ended up in Mississauga for dinner... had a good time. Won't be happening again, but was still a good time.

Friday and Saturday the boys and the Man and I worked our asses off around the house...cleaning, tidying putting stuff away throwing old stuff out... because Saturday afternoon the landlords came in for what they called a 'walk through'... funny how the idea over came the land lady when she found out we got a puppy.
Imagine her surprise as she walked through the house and realized there was absolutely no damage done to the house in the 3 years that we've lived here... I think they were surprised because the other house they own they tend to rent to crack heads who destroy the place all the time.
Landlord stayed and finally fixed the blister in the ceiling in the living room. yay. Though I must admit he left a huge mess of dust and clumps of drywall mud...

Sunday I went out with Burton to a psychic fair here in the city. Got a bit of a reading done which was fairly accurate... mostly some of the stuff that you know about yourself that you would never admit to others...as Burton put it. Had a very tasty Tropical Mango Smoothie while we chatted.

Monday went with the Man to the Boychild's school while he was at karate. We were having a meeting/information session about the Academy that we want to be sending him to next year. After the info session we believe even more that this will be perfect for the Boychild, even though he seems to be resisting us on this. It'd be longer days, more homework but a much better atmosphere for him, one on one mentoring, the same school from grade 6 until he graduates high school and a lot more focus on post secondary education lead up.

Tuesday... went to Burton's house for Full Moon Tea... was just three of us again, though our third wasn't Parker this time.. it was Burton's manager from work. We had a good time, lovely dinner nice little rit and then some yummy Japanese Sour Cherry Tea mixed with hot chocolate... it was quite dee-lish.

Today... Wednesday... I had to go back for my follow up appointment with my cardiologist... got the results back from the King of Hearts monitor that I was wearing for two weeks. Ends up that I'm not crazy, but I'm also not having episodes like I had been having before my ablation in 2006.
It seems that not only am I more sensitive to what it is that my heart is doing, and it's now extremely sensitive to drugs and outside stimulus... stress, sickness, not enough sleep etc... can all make the ticker go a bit funny.
So since the doc isn't worried about it...I pretty much got the chicken dinner from him... so unless there is a dramatic change... I just have to live with what's going on in my chest... fun times

Tomorrow... nothing on the books...whoo!
same with Friday... and then again on Saturday...

However in other good news...
I was contacted by one of the woman that put together the pagan pub moot in the next city and was asked if I'd like to vend my wares at the next one...well the one in March since the next one is actually on Sunday... so I'm happy... I have to make up some more trees... think I have enough jewelry right now...

so yay!

and now... time for bed... especially since I've been yawning my face off since around 9:30ish...

You never know if you never try... To forgive your past and simply be mine

I have no idea what I talked about in the last post... because well I just didn't take the time to look to see what I had written about... I know that I haven't said too much lately because I've just not been feeling up to saying anything...

I will start off this post by saying I'm an idiot... for oh so many reasons but this time is because I screwed up big time with my pills and have been feeling wonky because of it... my pills are supposed to help my hormone levels stay balanced... but when I forget to take them for three days because of the excitement of an upcoming event...and then try to compensate by taking the three days worth at once... oy vey... so I took the three pills and within an hour I felt so sick...and was so out of whack... went to bed and had real bad night sweats... woke up so terribly irritable and some other emotion that I can't quite put my finger on... and ended up picking a fight with Big Daddy... yeah...that was worth it...*sigh*

Anytime I have an issue with something he's done he pretty much just gets the attitude of 'well then get rid of me if you don't like it' ... *sigh*  I think he's pretty much done with me... I suppose it was only a matter of time... everyone tires of me eventually...
He's become uncommunicative again... and when he does respond he's pretty much being a sarcastic bastard or just barely speaking in sentences... hell I had to make an appointment with him just to get him to talk to me... I just wish he'd fucking do something about his depression... he knows about it, acknowledges it and even uses it as an excuse...

I went to a craft show last weekend and was really disappointed at the fact that absolutely none of my stuff sold...oh wait... that's not entirely true...I had 7 lil bracelets all marked at 50 cents each... yeah... they sold... so woo hoo a big 3.50$ ... I was not impressed in the least... I was trying very hard not to be discouraged and sad... those around me were trying to be supportive and all saying the same things... 'it was your first show' .... 'you'll do better next time' .... blah blah blah doesn't make me feel any better...

bah... I have nothing else productive to say... not that anything I actually wrote is productive in any way... but fuck it...

Sex Dreams, Classic Cars, Birthdays and Buffalo

I'm not eating popcorn before bedtime anymore... or doing any of the other things I did last night before I went to bed...besides texting Big Daddy...I'm not stopping that...

I woke up from the weirdest....I can't even call it a sex dream, because there wasn't a whole lot of sex in it... about someone I haven't talked to in ages...and even when we did hang out together he was a friend of a friend, so when we did hang out it was only because we were hanging out with that mutual friend... yeah weird and stuff...

I don't quite remember why he stopped by the house (in the dream) but we ended up in bed making out and then The Man came home and other guy got all 'Oh shit!' and I was just like 'Meh' he's not going to be upset... and sure enough the Man walked in to put his coat away (now I knew it was a dream) and just nodded at other guy and said 'Oh hey how's it going?' Other guy starts in on all sorts of 'this isn't what it looks like'... *laughs* it was really funny... The Man was all 'meh it's alright have at her'...so other guy was still so worried about getting the crap kicked out of him that he said very quick goodbyes and left.
Now we thought he had left as in left in his car and went home...apparently he went and fell asleep in his car because another person we know that we haven't seen in ages pops up to 'drop in and say hello' (knew it was a dream by that as well...no one does that) and she said 'hey did you know that so-and-so is out in his car asleep... The Man went out woke him up told him to come in for a coffee before he leaves...(it was the next morning) and dude starts freaking out not only because had he been making out with me the night prior but now he hadn't come home and his wife (another friend of a friend) was going to be really worried and really pissed...lol

oh it was all very crazy..though I do have to say that in my dream he was a good kisser... *laughs*

Also another odd thing that happened last night was did the regular 'i love you' text to Big Daddy before going to sleep...however, I must have had a really good dream about him at some point as well because when I woke up...our chat window was still up on my screen and apparently I had sent him another text at almost 7 am... I didn't recall doing this at all...and am now wondering how many other messages I've sent to him while half to almost fully asleep...if I was fully awake I wouldn't have sent it because of the timing and figuring him already in bed...

it was a crazy night last night/this morning...

The Manchild came this weekend... I didn't smack him like I thought I would. He was actually pleasant to be around and we had some fun this past weekend. In case you're wondering why this is all a bit surprising to me is because after me being gone for over two weeks, I came home to him texting me to say he wasn't coming to my house for the weekend to which I told him that yes he was and an argument started via text... and lo and behold I just shrugged and said that I didn't fucking care anymore (not to him) and told my family to leave him in Niagara Falls...that if he was going to be a fucking asshole then I didn't want him here spreading his bad attitude to the rest of us. So I was waiting for a text on Thursday telling me that he wasn't coming again. I didn't...he showed up on Friday all cock and swagger just like he always does when he comes from his fathers house (who's actually been staying with the Junkie again...*sigh*) but he lost it pretty quick this time...thankfully.

We were both navigators on Saturday for the Journey For Sight Car Rally put on by the Lions club...that was way fun. I was asked to be a navigator but after showing up we found out that the guy I was supposed to be navigating for was scheduled to have a visually impaired lady with him (the whole thing is to raise money for CNIB...so they bring in blind/visually impaired people to navigate...for some) so I said I would back out so that she could do it. Instead they paired all three of us up. She sat in the back with the route in braille (with her pretty guide dog) and I sat in the front with the driver, and all I did even though I had the route as well was look for street signs and special signs that the Lions had along the way to point out the route. We were in a 1967 Mustang... it was niiiice. Sounded nice. *drools just a lil* (I love me some classic cars)

Ralph and I w/ his '67 Mustang

Papa's '65 and I :)

I got my pic taken in it as well as in a couple of the T-Birds that were there... A friend of the family was there and he had his black 1965 Thunderbird...he was mentioning that he's thinking of selling it *cries a lil* I'm not crying because he's selling or wants to sell it...but because I'd have to sell both my kids in order to buy it... it is a beautiful car... and then I was also in a red T-Bird (for a photo) I'm trying to remember what year that one was...

Tim's Candy Apple Red T-Bird

Anyway... my car won for the closest to the route time with a visually impaired navigator...and we had fun wit the three of us.
The Manchild was a navigator as well...he was navigating for an older couple who doesn't know the area very well...lol apparently they had fun in their car as well...the older couple dressed up like hippies and made an outfit for him as well...and surprisingly enough he was a really good sport about wearing it... so his car won for the costume portion of the day...he got a little trophy and everything...the older couple liked him very much and said what a good kid he is.

Manchild w/ Ted and Ruth

Besides all of that...this week is going to be somewhat fun...I have a date on Thursday with the Man...and a 'date' with Big Daddy on Friday...and a day planned with Burton and Pirate Girl on Saturday over in Buffalo...Usually I'm all excited about my birthday but this year...I dunno I'm really kind of 'meh' about it. The only thing I wanted was to be able to see Big Daddy and thankfully he's willing to spend some time on Friday with me via skype... so I'm happy.

The kids are both getting settled back at school...I'm awaiting some funds to really get the business rolling (however have been commissioned to do two pieces in the interim)...

Things are ... ok.

Yes! Let's go Hiking! Yes!

So... for those who care and/or are keeping track...

I met with the financial advisor earlier this evening that I had spoken about the other day in a post... it went well...

She and I spoke about all things small business it seemed... I had a shit ton of questions about taxes and book keeping and the initial start up money that I'll have available to me... and where to start and what steps I should be taking and how to get to where it is I want to be...

She was really supportive and is willing to work with me on a monthly basis to make sure that I don't fuck up my book keeping...

It was a huge weight off my shoulders...it feels as though I could do just about anything now that I've gotten that initial meeting out of the way... I know I have a lot more to do and am going to definitely need a lot of support and encouragement from my friends and family...

Every time I sit down and make some jewelry, talk about my stuff, work on the FB page, or think about the business stuff I get real excited...motivated to just do more... I have some phone calls to make and some contacts to reach out and touch some how... but all in all... it was a real good meeting... now besides being creative...I have to work on my organizational skills... *tee hee hee* Let's see how that goes...

stay tuned...

Let's Do This Shite...!

While I continue to work shite out in my head I've decided that I'm going to throw myself into my work...

Part of the conversation I had with my father the other night before he was so drunk that he was slurring his words I was talking to him about some of the things that I wanted to do with my teeny tiny business... not the Avon... though it could be applied to that as well... my jewelry.

First step is to get it out there a bit... since up until now I've been treating it more like a hobby... I set out a plan today after my shower and have been starting the steps already... So today I set up a Facebook page for it ... Trece Lunas

I've made an appointment for Friday with a financial advisor so that I can get all the ins and outs to really do this...

I came to the decision while in the shower that if I want to do what it is I want with my life I won't be able to do that working for some one else... so The Man and I were talking again and I think I've come up with something that will work for the three of us... just not passing it by Big Daddy yet... still afraid that he'll say no... so going to wait and see how it sits with me to see that it's solid first...

So back to the business... the ball is rolling and now it's time to get back into action again... and maybe get a bit more elaborate with my designs... find places where I can get some unusual beads and what not...

I'm feeling really good about this... I'm not ready for anyone to poo poo my idea yet, so not going to let on to many that I'm doing it until the ball is truly rolling...http://www.facebook.com/pages/Trece-Lunas/246164558759805