This too shall pass?

Usually people have that one person they find solace in.
That one person where just being in their presence silently (or not) they begin to feel better about steesses or anxiety. Talking to that person can make them smile. That person telling them 'you can do this'...'you got this'... or something similiar makes them feel like they can take on the world.
That person  where they just need to hug them and you can feel the stress drain from your muscles.

Those people are special...we keep them close...and likely (for most) never tell them what they mean to us.

Mine keep leaving me....
That seems really dramatic but very true.

Krammit moved away so I don't get to see her much anymore.
Burton moved to Cali...so definitely a lot harder to get hugs. Still end up talking, but not the same.
Minner is in prison...and I still haven't been able to bring myself to write him yet.
Squasha is on another continent which makes it difficult to have a conversation.
Bing is busy and although we talk I know he's not comfortable with some topics anymore. And of course lives in Nevada.
Roo had moved to the other side of the continent so we don't get to talk to much anymore either.

It makes it very hard to be able to just quietly hug someone and cuddle away some stress...when no one is in the same city.

Sugarbear... he just lost his mum. Not like I can seek comfort from someone who I so badly feel needs comforting himself. As much as I really want to cuddle with him, I know he needs his time to grieve for his mum in his own way.

I see the derby girls making plans with their wives...small groups of them going off together for nights out...
I get a twinge of loneliness....wishing my Krammit and Burton were closer.

I have the one person I find solace in...
When sad or angry or depressed I send them a message and hope that they message me back...and when they do it doesn't matter what  we talk about I immediately start to feel better.
Sometimes I don't know what exactly to say so I send them an emoticon...and just getting an emoticon back helps.
It's  the reaching out for human contact, when reciprocated makes me smile.

As anti-social as I am... I recognize that I do need to have contact with other people.

I just need to find some that are  more available...literally, and emotionally.

I just have a hard time clicking and connecting with people.

So right now I'm in that mode where all I want to do is curl up silently and cuddle until next week.

Instead... been throwing myself into derby.
So now...just lonely and sore...

Sorry...not a happier post.

Did get the lineups for next weeks scrimmage in Kitchener...I am literally going to get my  ass handed to me. I'm at least excited about that.