what's this...?

awoke at 2 ish something this morning... fully awake... alert...hungry...maybe even a bit frisky... reason being.... likely because I went to bed at 9 o'clock last night...I just could not for the life of me keep my eyes open any longer...

problem with waking up at 2am... fully awake... really hard to get back to sleep and trying to keep some semblance of a schedule... meh.. oh well...

I was laying in bed reading one of my books... I've read oh so many of them lately it's hard to keep them all straight... but I got out of bed a little while ago with almost a sense of urgency and purpose... I didn't have any divine flashes of what I'm supposed to be doing or anything like that... but I just knew I had to stop... I had to stop dwelling... obsessing and many of the other things that I do just before I'm about to sink below the surface again...

I had a moment of weakness when I awoke just after 2... I was kicking myself in the ass while I was laying there reading my book and funny enough the book was addressing such subjects near the end of it when our heroine of the story was way in over her head...as it seems to happen to characters...

why is it that we never go to the ones who truly love us when we're way over our heads or at least talk to those that the overwhelming feelings might actually include...

one of the things the heroine was having to deal with....

I hope I can figure it out before it's too late...

lately I've been dealing with this feeling of 'I'm running out of time'... my life seems to be taking on this sense of urgency... in order to get everything done in time... but I'm still stuck trying to figure out what the deadline is...I'm trying to grasp it as it feels as though it's just on the outside of my vision...

these odd feelings of needing to get everything in order...today I seem to be getting a reprieve from that... thankfully...

so I jumped out of bed... almost happy.. I can feeling the nigglings of happiness tickling at the sides of my mouth...nearly enough to make them curl upwards with no real reason...

the sickness I've been feeling is on hold...there but in the background... the constant pain I've had for the last I don't know how long is no where right now... I've been awake for 6ish hours and I'm feeling good...

I must remember to go through and look at the Law of Attraction once more... (small note to myself there)

I don't know how long I'm going to be feeling like this so I should probably just log off of here and make the best of it...

Happiness and feeling good is definitely fleeting... I'm sure that this is the calm before the storm as it were... but instead of wondering when the shoe is going to drop I'm going to forget the negative cliches and go take my dog for a walk...

another note for you... it truly is unconditional, heart your face