FML.

I have to have surgery on Monday afternoon....

I go in at noon... 2 hrs before the surgery itself...I can't help but think, that time is going to do nothing but make me worry worse...I'm hoping they'll give me a sedative before they knock me out...

Going to have my lady bits scraped out...yep doesn't that sound like fun... nothing like having surgery less then two weeks before going out on vacation...

I'm still not 100% after my ankle fracture... and now I have to go under again to have something else done... what else am I going to have to go through before the end of the year...

Had a conversation with Big Daddy tonight...the timing on it sucked...big time...seems he went out for a breakfast with a lady from work... dunno where that's going... don't want to think about it right now... like I said... bad timing and all...

All I can hope right now is that my birthday doesn't suck... I'm not even all about the acknowledgement and presents this year...

really right now...I just want to stop being hormonal...want my tits to stop hurting...and I want to get my weight back under control...I haven't been eating right...or sleeping right...

I want to get to Reno...lay on Big Daddy's couch and read a book in complete silence...and not have to worry about anything...and maybe see the Pacific... really want that...

I'm not supposed to smoke for two days before my surgery...but been so stressed I've been smoking more...

Yeah...think I need to go to bed...I'm tired and feeling a bit like crying