My Bags Are Packed and I'm Not Ready To Go...

So here I sit on the bed typin' up my last blog post from here in Reno...

It's been wicked fun to be here with Big Daddy and not have to care too much about the outside world except to wonder if Circe has enough food and water downstairs...

I've just about finished packing up all my stuff... I'm surprised Big Daddy hasn't wanted to go through my luggage since I told him I was going to steal his Nook colour.... tee hee... I was playing with it the other day... I likes it...and of course I wants one...

it's fairly easy to say that I don't want to go... I would like to stay here and spend more time with Big Daddy and even though he's not come right out and said it... I'm fairly certain he's a bit sad to see me go as well... I've had a really good time with him... and in the back of my mind am already trying to figure out when I can come back...

I know the Man and the Boychild have been missing me....I dunno about the Manchild he's still fairly self absorbed for the time being... but I do miss them a bit... I just know that I get to see them all the time... I only get to spend time with Big Daddy once a year... I was really lucky this time that I got to spend so much time here with him by ourselves...

I'm thinking April or May again... though when I was here in May last year it did snow... and that was just weird...anyway I suppose it all depends on what we decide...

anyway... I'm going to go watch some comedians or something extremely funny to keep my mind off things and to help me to keep from crying... I've been fairly distracted most of the day... but I'm certain the night time is going to be worse...

next post likely to come from either Runa's house tomorrow night or from home the next day...

If There's One Thing I Like It's Getting Stuffed For $1

Went out into the desert today....

I didn't have a horse with no name and I wasn't trying to get out of the rain...but still went out into the dessert... getting out there was half the adventure it seemed and only because of trying to drive and dirt roads that aren't exactly kept up in any sort of fashion...

took out 3 hand guns and 2 rifles... set up some targets and away we went... I tried to be a good student... you know the keep your mouth shut do as your told and you won't get hurt sort of thing... lol

so got a lesson in all the proper ways to handle and fire a gun, as well as how to stand and so forth...

I  a .22 revolver, .40 semi-auto, 1911 .45 semi-auto... I think out of the three of them I liked the .22 the best...only because of the fact that it was quieter and had less kick to it... yeah yeah I'm such a girl :P

the AR that I used was a civilian version/model of the M16... I didn't mind that one at all...especially when sitting down with  it... it had more of a recoil than Big Daddy let on but it was still awesome nonetheless... I got a nice grouping of head shots with it when I was sitting down... however not so great when I was standing up... that mo'fo is not really all that light...

the one I have to say that I disliked the most was the AK47... that is not a nice weapon... the recoil was ouchy and the stock on it isn't very forgiving... I think it gave me a bruise...

So we were out for a couple of hours and it was hot and dusty and dirty and effin awesome!! :)

after we were done we went into town to get some drive thru fast food... can't imagine why Big Daddy wouldn't want to leave thousands of dollars worth of firearms in the back of the car while we went into a restaurant to eat some supper...

he introduced me to 'In and Out' I had never heard of it before and he said it was good so... went and got some double cheeseburgers that were really effin good as well... after unloading the car and eating we hit the shower and have been chilling here at home since...

Big Daddy's birthday was on the 1st... he hates his birthday and for anyone who knows me I love my birthday so it was an interesting day that end with the two of us drinking an entire bottle of tequila... and after that I won't even get into details...

The next day... I got to meet his parents... they wanted to take him out to dinner and well I ended up tagging along I think more so because he didn't want to seem rude by asking me to stay at the house...
they were really nice to me... I was really nervous to meet them... I'm still trying to figure out how he came from them... lol the three of them are so different  from each other...

For any who are wondering my title is a line from a commercial I heard on the radio and lost it laughing over...

I am starting to get that whole 'I don't wanna leave yet!!' thing happening...it happens every time I go away and have a good time while gone...obviously it's different this time... I hate leaving Big Daddy... we have fun together and though it was a bit rough a couple of times while I've been here overall I've had a brilliant time.... I'm going to hate leaving him for like another year... and now I'm gonna stop talking about it before I begin to cry and he looks over and asks what's wrong... the answer 'nothing' never seems to work with him...

I've found myself at times just watching him and when he catches me looking at him and says 'what? why are you staring at me?' I generally just answer with 'because I can right now' ...right now as I'm typing up this blog post he's been playing on his computer and I've been able to look at him from the side as much as I want... lol
He's Awesome... I Loves Him sooooooo much... *blush* and even though heart him so much I will never like Minecraft as much as he does no matter how many times I 'try' it... lmao
However he did introduce me to Team Fortress 2.... LOVE it!! The Heavy is fucking awesome! love him, love his guns, love his accent, love his dialogue....

So eventually I will post some pictures.... I haven't taken many this time...

Hi I'm A Fucking Idiot, And You Are?

I feel so farkin' embarrassed it's just fucking retarded...*facepalms*

So last night I was having some issues with my heart... no big surprise...can't go two weeks without some sort of doozy I guess... I'd had a couple of attacks throughout the night...nothing too major... went to bed about 1 or so... just after 1 my head was swimming and my heart started going nuts.... so I went downstairs to the kitchen and grabbed some ice and started to head back upstairs to the bedroom... I got to the top of the stairs and felt really dizzy and sort of sick to my stomach...so I sat down on the top of the stairs... that with the ice didn't seem to be helping so I sort of just slumped so I was laying at the top of the stairs...
the cat came and laid with me... I sort of snickered and told her that I wasn't staying there long...

apparently I was staying there longer then anticipated...when Big Daddy came home he found me passed out at the top of the stairs freezing since I was only in a house coat... that and the A/C is positioned in such a way so that it blows straight up the stairs...

when I finally started to feel better and less like an ice cube... I wanted to crawl under a rock...still kind of do...especially after this morning...

I had been in the midst of a dream of sorts talking to some people when all of a sudden in the dream I couldn't swallow and I couldn't breathe or talk... I woke up choking and unable to breathe... what a way to wake up in the morning...

I don't know if I woke up because I was dreaming I was choking or if I was dreaming that I was choking because I really was in my sleep... all I know is that was fucking embarrassing as well...

*le sigh* why couldn't I just be normal sometimes...

I swear Big Daddy's going to be so glad when I'm gone... he'll actually be able to get a good nights sleep again... :(

My Head Hurts Too Much For A Weird Witty Title

Can.Not believe that I've been gone for a week already... that's some crazy whacked out shiznit yo...

Big Daddy works during the week so not much to say about that time... I mainly played the computer, watched movies, talked to the Man and Boychild on skype...and even talked to the drunken ex the one... that was fun and fantastic... but the weirdest situation was talking to my Mum via skype... weeeeeeeird....

My days have been running together and with the weird hours I'm keeping while here I can't remember what we did on Thursday or Friday... lol

Friday morning we were woken up by  a door bell with some not so good news so the day sort of followed suit...thankfully though we talked and were able to get passed the weirdness and the awkwardness that was creeping up...played Scott Pilgrim vs. The World video game which just made me want to watch the movie...so we did that too... Big Daddy hadn't seen it before... he laughed... thinks that means he liked it :)

Yesterday we went out for breakfast when it was most people's dinners...then went over to the Sierra Summerfest (I think that's what it was called...) watched some Monster Trucks... (they were indoors.... weird...) and after a while of that left to see the Roller Derby girls... it's like Burlesque (due to the fashion and clothing worn) meets Rollerskating (since they're going around ON rollerskates on the track) meets Hockey (due to all the 'checking' and spills and whatnot...) It to me was awesome good fun... favourite conversation of the evening... Me- 'Aren't you glad I wanted to see scantily clad women beating the crap out of each other while on roller skates?'... Him- 'Best girlfriend ever.' *grins* I told him he could get that put on a plaque for me... lol

After watching the derby we decided to go watch a movie... I think it was a pretty fair trade off... he got scantily clad women on roller skates (yeah so what if it was my idea)...and I got to see Jason Momoa as Conan...mmmm .... Oh Hello there nearly naked sexy man who is really violent...!
I can't help it... sexy men + violence = Me feeling frisky... lol

We came home and I watched Whip It as Big Daddy played his new video game... Deus Ex: Human Revolution... which he picked up on Friday and waited til yesterday to play... sometimes he is not a normal geek boy... :) Figured I wouldn't see him most of the weekend after seeing him pick it up... So I totally didn't mind if he played it for a little while...

I like it when I get chosen over a video game... :)

We were up until nearly 6 am...which as I've been sitting here it's gone from being 10 am to 11 am... yeah... phone rang...startled me right out of sleep... instant headache and heart attack at the same time... it was lovely...so figured since I couldn't get back to sleep right away and didn't want to be tossing and turning and keeping him up I'd come in the office with my laptop to see how my family is doing...since it seems Hurricane Irene will sort of be side swiping them... just my luck...none of them are online... >.>

So writing seemed the next best thing to due... I'm hoping it will help my head and make me tired enough to go back to sleep for a few hours... Big Daddy doesn't want to be up until after 3... *hrm...* not sure if I can actually sleep that long...

Anyway... more to come later (like some pics from the bout)... think I'm going to try to nap again...

Gloria Steinem, I Am Not.

Call me a detriment to the womens lib and all that jazz but I have to admit that I thoroughly enjoy when a man shows his appreciation and affection with displays of affection... public or otherwise...

and the reason why I'm likely a detriment to the lib movement is that I'm ok with a bum pinch, a slap on the bum, an arm around the shoulder or hand resting on my back.. walking up behind me to kiss my neck or just to hug me around the waist... all these are little ways of saying I love you without really ever having to say it out loud...

other ones that are nice once in a while is hair brushing, impromptu foot rubs, hugs for no reasons and of course the best ones are the kisses that leave ya weak in the knees...

I'm not sure why men seem to stop those sorts of things for/to us after a certain amount of time... but it always seems to fall away in the course of a relationship...

and I'm sure there is a flip side to that and that women have stopped doing things that men like... I'm not on that side of the story...

but what has happened to displays of affection? they seem to get tossed aside at times...

I'm sort of glad that I got thinking on this after reading a write up on Fetlife that one of the kinksters there wrote..

I'm finding the site to be quite interesting... especially the thoughts and opinions of others on there about certain things...


displays of affection = happy loved ones = yay!