See if it says anything about unexpected misunderstandings with a loved one, or unexpected/uninvited guests, or miscommunication from an acquaintance/employer/co-worker...
Because yeah all that shit happened today... on top of... me having to cancel my doc's appt, kidlet didn't go to school, skipped out on my meeting...
hold on one sec... I'm gonna look up m,y horoscope...
Virgo says - See if you can get your friends to see the logic of your position -- but don't expect them to embrace it wholeheartedly. You've got it down cold, but it might actually be a little too cold for them.
Libra says - Your great personal energy makes you want to get out there and try new things -- no matter what! Even if you're slammed with work or home chores, you should still have time for fun.
Hmm nope... see why I don't read them...
*sighs*
I feel like an angry bag of shit...
I was under the impression that we were having fun together... and that we would continue to do so in the days (meaning just future) to come... no expectations... no demands... just come and go as you please or I please... but it was something to do together... *shrugs*
(btw - talking about a game here people... stop always thinking my relationship is falling apart...)
As for the unexpected/uninvited guest...
Yeah generally if people have a problem with me or have an opinion about my life, I tell 'em if you can't talk to me about it then keep it to yourself. I have friends of the same opinion... sometimes things get a little rough... but generally everything works out in the end... so I had a friend who was a huge advocate of this practice... or so I thought... until I'm hearing shit she's saying about my family... do not fuck with my family... you will pay for it if you do...
I know how foreboding... ooo... however.. I am worse then a mama grizzly when you mess with my family...
So this person shows up today at my house... unfortunately about the same time as the inspector and landlord show up... so I couldn't even kill her... there were witnesses.
Anyway... I guess it's just been a real shitty day from the moment it started... spread out to everyone who came into contact with me... and went from there.
New schedules... changes... all sorts of fun is starting... I love this time of year... but it always brings such weirdness with it... once it's settled and the land is blanketed with snow and I only have to have minimum contact with the outside world... oh what a happen camper I will be, it'll be just 'super duper'...
Things I'll be thinking about during the dark times... am I high maintenance? too demanding? do I require too much attention? am I worth the hassle ? see that one has gotten me every year for about 6 years now... I never really knew how much those words hurt me until I found myself asking them of myself...
All those have 'I' in them because well it's time to look within and do soul searching... People during the dark times, end up hearing a lot of...
I just had an epiphany... I just came to the realization... You know what I figured out... I've thought about it and...
I consider myself one of the luckiest people I know... I have men I never fight with... I have two boys who so far are really good... and family that is caring and generous, loyal and loving... usually to a fault but hey we all have those...
I have those pieces that I had been searching for and have come together and made me feel whole...
We've all seen it... Jerry Maguire... "You complete me" ... how many times have you thought that about your lover/spouse/friend?
It's not a silly line from a movie... ok so it is... but so many people feel it... so why do we all think it lame or hokey when others say they feel it about another person...
I love the lame, the cheesy, the hokey, mushy, the embarrassing... you know why? because when you love someone you should let them know... every day... every time you talk to them... tell them how you feel deep inside... you'll type it, or say it in your head and read it or think about it... and go omg I can't send/tell them that! ... they'll think I'm nuts... but they'll walk away going... wow. And if it comes from that special place in your heart... it will be some of the most honest words.
Some of the most heartfelt and touching things come from someone who's embarrassed to say it.
Courage, my word, it didn't come, it doesn't matter,
Courage, it couldn't come at a worse time.
Something that was said to me that I will most likely never forget... because it was super sweet and was completely unexpected... and came from someone that one would never think would get mooshy...
"I was thinking about you tonight...bereft of your eyes, your smile, your voice. It was a singularly unpleasant experience. "
*gets a goofy grin* There was more... but that's all I'm willing to share at the moment...
Tell people that they are important to you...
I think I just made myself feel a little less shitty...
No comments:
Post a Comment