A Song Of You... Comes As Sweet And Clear As Moonlight... Through The Pines

Sometimes I sit and want to send you a message... but then I remember that you're not really there... that you probably wouldn't respond or would remind me things that were said...

I wonder how you are and see you sometimes from afar but never really know when you're there.

*sighs* Proverbs 5:1-23 and 7:1-27 I suppose.

Christmas was good... I don't care about what anyone else says... I still believe in Santa Claus... if it wasn't for him we wouldn't have had a Christmas at our house... gathering with family was good.

And getting to talk to Bing four days in a row was quite nice... I'm still hoping and wishing for a visit but haven't been bringing it up... probably too worried that it won't happen... hell the first one almost didn't ...

Snow fell yesterday and actually stayed... looks like winter finally started... at this rate though if it's a full winter there'll be snow on Ostara (Easter)... *le sigh*

I dislike the cold of winter as much as I dislike the humidity of summer... it's a damp coldness here... the kind that creeps into your bones and makes it near impossible to warm up again... my Aunt and Cousin are visiting from Saskatchewan and they've been complaining about the cold here... right we're talking about people who live in a place where it gets to -35'F... so yeah you know it's bad when they're complaining about it...

I'm stalling on the cleaning I need to be doing right now... my house looks like a christmas tornado went through it. The boychild and I did pick up some of the mess but there's more to do. Not going to make him do too much when I don't feel like doing it either. I'll be more inclined to do it when the man gets home I suppose...

I've been going through old chats to find out some info that I know that I've forgotten... and it's been showing me just how much stuff has changed. I do so much appreciate the logging function on messenger services...

and I meant to post this a few hours ago and it's now 11pm ... oops... totally got distracted by some other stuff...

Anyway... I hope you all had a nice holiday... well except you... yeah you know who you are... why do you even still come here??

*hugs and kisses to my Big Daddy*

Oh Freedom Is Mine And I Know How I Feel, It's A New Dawn It's A New Day It's A New Life For Me And I'm Feeling So Good...

a headache that won't quit after 6 days... dizziness... lack of appetite... and 4 episodes in one day...

yeah should probably go see a doctor...

*sighs and shrugs*

maybe it'll just pass.

*yep title is longer then the post*

If You're Not A Friggin 'Tard You Will Prevail... Your Disguise Is Slipping... Everything You Ever...

Well now that that's settled... let's try this again.

It's been at least a months since I've really posted anything here.

After years and years of the hating on zombies I decided to try another zombie movie. I really do hate the lil fuckers, and hate how loved they are by people. They're not cool, or anything to me. so last night while doing some other stuff here at my desk I watched Zombieland. Not overly impressed though there were some funny lines and such... it was a good movie if you take out all the zombies ;)

I've taken a 'chill the fuck out' pill... before I end up causing a bunch of shit to happen that wasn't actually going to happen but my paranoia causes me to make it happen... *laughs* yeah figure that one out.

I've gotten to the point where I don't care about christmas, since I know I won't be getting what it is I want. I've got some presents for the kids but I'm not freaking out because I wasn't able to get them a lot. I've made some goodies and put them in some tins for some others. Other then that I've decided to make the effort to not get so upset about presents for all those I'd like to get presents for. Hell most of the xmas cards I would have killed myself to get out, haven't been done. There's only two things left I need to do, that's to send out two packages which I really wanted to do before the actual holiday... again though can't afford it so. *shrugs* I guess they get their presents late.

As for the rest... I just need to finish up the rituals that will be done, go to the xmas concert for the boychild tomorrow, get a couple more classes done, clean the house and ..... ok so I do have a few things left to do...

I have all the time in the world. *smiles*

I really do... I make the time for the stuff that needs to be done.. or the stuff that I want to get done. I make the time, always have. I grew up in a household where if you wanted to do something you found the time to do it. I found time to be in karate, dancing, cheerleading, AV club, Environmental Awareness club, Fashion Show, Healthy Lifestyles club, UN Debate, Badminton, Volleyball, Basketball, have a steady beau, keep up with all my friends and I did it all while drunk and high...

So yeah... I make time.

Sometimes a lil girl just needs her Daddy. (yep out of the blue and just for one of you)

Though I should probably send my father a message and see if he'll be in the area in the next bit and if so invite him and his wife to dinner. *shrugs*

Think if anyone gives me money for christmas I'm gonna use it for a tattoo. Right across my face. *laughs*

Oh yeah... other news...

I am no longer a staff member on the mush... and as much as I thought that would pain me in some way. It really doesn't, I'm a bit bummed but all in all I think I was ready for the end of it all. I was sick of the hypocrisy from the guy who owned the place. I was tired of complaints from players because others weren't doing their job. I was upset at all the double standards in place there.

I'm still on the fence as to whether or not I'll be keeping my characters there so that I can rp. I'm starting to doubt it. There's other players that have left because of crap between other players, and then there's those who have a problem with stuff that's being done staff-wise and yet won't say anything. Then there's players who are inconsiderate and rude, oh and of course those that are liars. Not even mentioning the drama inducing idiots. And really even just doing some rp there are things pointing me to the 'quit' door.

I dunno.. is the attachment I have for my characters strong enough to keep me from quitting. I really would hate to lose them after all the work and time I put into them. I've already had one leave (read that as, commit suicide... no possible way for her to come back again).

Bah... have to go finish typing up tomorrow's rit... and Thursday's class notes... and Monday's rit... and finish making the peanut butter balls... tidy up a bit for tonight's class... get a date to set the euchre tournament for the meeting tonight... and even through all of that I still make time to think about you and miss you... ;)

Happy Yuletide Season (in case I don't get back here until the new year)

...listening to my own singing...

I come to you every night by way of your window...you don't seem to see me...do you feel me I wonder as I stand in the darkness of your room...do you feel my presence as I stand next to your bed and gaze at you while you sleep...do you feel me as I try ever so hard to feel the warmth of your skin as I brush my hand down your cheek...do you notice when I sit next to you and watch your body move ever so slightly up and down as you breathe...do you feel me next to you when I lay down and ret my head on your chest...how I wish I was able to actually feel your warm touch....how I wish I could smell your soft musky scent...how I wish I could stay and have you see me when you open you eyes...do you know that I've been there next to you...do you know how long I stay and just watch you while you sleep...how peaceful you look...how content you look while dreaming the dreams that I hope are about us...I wish I was able to get in your dreams and let you know that I have been there...I wish there was some way to let you know that I had been there...do you know how much I long to actually feel your soft warm skin pressing up against mine...it kills me to come and not be able to feel you...but its much worse when I don't come to see you...my heart aches to be with you...my body cries out for the touch of yours...my soul shudders with the anticipation of seeing you again...I have to keep from dying inside everyday because I'm not apart of your reality as of yet...I watch you as you sleep and wish I could be there next to you...I wish I could let you know that I have been there...I wish you could feel me there with you always.

And So I Cry Sometimes When I'm Laying In Bed Just To Get It All Out What's In My Head...

nails says, "46 would be big enough for my apartment, but not for my ego"

nails is compensating

nails says, "for your small penis?"

nails says, "oof"

nails says, "you should go for a 70"."

Sorad says, "I have a 55" CRT rear-projection. It is very bulky."

nails nods

nails has DLP rear proj

nails says, "I didn't want to pay an extra grand for a flat screen with worse contrast"

You say, "I only have a 15 inch crt, does that mean I have a huge penis?"

nails says, "Dwy, satellites can see your junk from space"

Tiamat admires Dwy's junk

Sorad says, "Is that what keeps hitting me in the ey?"

nails touches Dwy's junk. without getting up off the couch. in NH.

Sorad says, "It knocked a damned 'e' off."

Dwyvach loses it laughing.

You say, "I almost choked on my popcorn"

nails says, "are you just going to do guitar? skip the whole kit?"

You say, "thanks I needed that, helps make me forget my arm is killing me"

nails hugs Dwy. "you strained it? had to pee?"

Sorad says, "Or masturbate?"

Sorad shudders.

Dwyvach laughs and shakes her head

You say, "Nah nails can do that for me in NH"

nails says, "I just tickle the tip. Sorad works the shaft."

Narkash says, "Masturbation takes a team of 250 strategically placed throughout the Mid-Atlantic region"

I know longer feel comfortable posting personal stuff here, which would explain the long bouts of silence....

there's a couple of people that no longer even speak to me that read my blog and then decide to spew hate about me behind my back...

So... so much for my own place on the web... enjoy any of the stuff I do decide to put up.