Day 3 of taking the pills...
So... if I have one word of advice for any women out there it would have to be... don't make big decisions while hormonal... you'll start to have second thoughts about it in the morning...
Letting go of control on my night time stories had such an odd effect... people I don't talk to, running marathons, large lobsters breaking fishing tanks... to me trying so hard without prevail to save some smaller fish...
I have so much to tell and yet can't find the words... making one person extremely happy by making another extremely unhappy...
sometimes we have to make sacrifices and those are the hardest things we have to do... we do them for our family, our friends, and ourselves... we sacrifice our own happiness to make others happy so much more often then not...
we wittle away at our own happiness.. thinking that others make us happy because we make others happy... we can only be happy if we make ourselves happy... yet we're so willing to sacrifice all that to make someone else's life easier...
sometimes they don't realize what you've done for them... until it's too late and they can't even thank you for it anymore...
I know I'm the reason you're so angry today... it's because of what I said and did last night... I've apologized... and rationalized why I did it... I know that you think how you feel now about it doesn't matter to me because of what I said. You couldn't be more wrong... it tears me apart having to tell you goodbye like that, I never wanted it... never.
In order to make someone happy I had too, even if they'll never know that I did it for them.
There are no words in any language that can explain how sorry I am for having to do what I did last night, and I hope that maybe one day you won't be angry with me anymore.
Have you ever had to say goodbye to your best friend in the world? It's really not an easy thing to do. It leaves both people hurt, confused, angry, and just not in the best frame of mind.
enh... maybe more later...
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"I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other."
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2 comments:
Being a good person always includes sacrifice, not that it doesn't suck but we do it because we care for the person we're doing it for.
If they appreciate it then it doesn't feel so bad having to do it but it's when they don't that makes you feel like your scarifice is worthless. That's when you should evaluate whether or not the relationship is being respected equally.
As far as having to let go of your best friend, I've done that a few times but if it's a true friendship it always has a way of surviving. When it's not it's a learning experience. Sometimes it takes letting go to be able to see how much or little of what you feel is real.
Yeah, what Anna said...
(Phew that was easy)
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