y 2 = 2px or x2 = 2py

Oh so many blogs in oh so many days... whatever will you all do with yourselves!! *laughs*

I had to have a post for today...!

It's labour day... well that's not why there just /had/ to be a blog for today... but... Happy Labour Day to You!

If you don't know what labour day is you didn't grow up in North America and it's not important to you... so no worries... Happy First Monday of September!! to the rest of the world.

This is a two part blog... the first part everyone will understand... the second... I will understand.

I once told someone that I don't blog about my feelings anymore... there's a reason for that.
I haven't blogged about my feelings anymore because I always felt I had to be cryptic about them so as to not offend anyone, and so that I wouldn't get to open with anyone, so that people didn't know me... and also so that those who do read this blog that know me well don't call me up and rag on me or ask me if I'm ok...

I don't write about my inner thoughts and feelings because for the most part they're very dark and somewhat morbid and I would hate to have any of you know just how much... it's the facade of the happy go lucky 'nice' Canadian girl that's expected here on the web... if I had total anonymity I would feel a little more secure with revealing all about my inner workings... but with having friends of friends, and co workers, family and friends all reading this... it's a bit different... it would be like you willingly walking in and saying to your parents "I broke the big 7 and I don't regret it for one moment." You know that you wouldn't for a moment do that.

There are lots of people on the net who blog publicly and never open themselves up... to do so is to welcome criticism from your peers. Do you really want someone to come along and say "Dude! How could you be such a cold hearted bastard and not take their feelings into consideration before doing such a god awfully despicable thing?! How dare you feel that way! it's just not normal!" Do you want to open yourself up to that?

No of course not, so we blog about things.. things that happen to us, or around us... things that happen in the world and our opinions on it... things that happen to our friends and loved ones... things about our health... We never talk about the things that we don't want people to say negative things about...

Even those who don't care about the blank masses opinion of our small blip of a life, the ones who shout out "Fuck The World" those who shrug when babies die, animals get run over, or hear of people getting flooded out of their homes... even those people have at least one person in their life that they would rather die then have that person say something negative about what they're doing or feeling.

The internet is a wonderful marvel...it's a place for complete anonymity and a place where you can find out all the info you would ever need on a person... Lots of us hide behind our computers and express our opinions no matter how disgusting, hateful, wonderful or brilliant they might be... Some have become famous from the internet for different reasons, good and bad.

Some of us write our blogs to get comments from others to validate our existence... to let us know that there are people out there who commiserate with us... there are those that write in order to stay sane... stay awake... fall asleep... quiet the demons... wake the soul... motivate... relax... there are so many reasons why we sit at our computers and reach out into the unknown that is cyber space... I'd ask why you do it, but then you might think that it wasn't a rhetorical question and you might answer thinking that I'm looking for some sort of human contact through this cold machine...

I've met some wonderful people and some not so wonderful people through this contraption... some I loved and now hate... some I hated and now love... but beware it's so easy to do either when misrepresented too...

I hope you all (and I can say that as I know there's more then one person who reads my drivel) have a great Labour Day/First Monday In September ... may the changes in your life teach you something about yourself...

******* Thus ends Part One ... And So Starts Part Two ******

two years ago today... it has not dwindled it has not died... both remember it fondly... have spoken many times about it in whispers... without any regret... wished it could and would happen again... many a day while one was away listened to each other hope out loud... wish with a groan... oh how many times we said the words 'I wish'...

I wish I'd known you before... I wish you were here... I wish we were together... I wish you were mine... I wish I could hear you... I wish I could see you... I wish I could hold you... I wish she were yours...

Somedays I can't believe that it was two years ago... it feels like just yesterday... and other days it feels oh so long ago...

It's happened so many more times... in thought and dream and word...