Ok so life has been a rollercoaster...
I'm going up and down...I'm going... I'm staying... I'm going.....*sigh*

Deep down inside I was scared about the change that would be happening and all that I would be leaving behind when I moved away... I was concerned about what was going to happen to Shadow...I didn't like the person he was turning into and I thought that if I stayed that maybe I could prevent that from happening...he seemed to be uncaring and very withdrawn...it was ugly and scary... and I do love him very much and I didn't want to see him that way... I was hoping that by me staying and Keenan not going to his grandmas that maybe everything would be ok...

I never realized that my love for Night wasn't going to let me push it aside to try and keep my family all in one house... Shadow and I talked about it again...last night when he got home.... he said I was brooding...I say I was just thinking... lol... anyway neither here nor there...

Shadow talked to Night...told him that he feels that I would be happier with him...Night said that he was thinking of Keenan when he told me to stay... and he thinks I would be miserable without Keenan... For a moment I didn't think either one of them wanted me with them ...lmao

When all was said and done...we decided that I'll be better off down south...*sigh*....whew...

Its been a long and at times grueling roller coaster ride for me...and hell for those involved...tears have been shed...

I'm sorry to all that have been hurt... I hope that time will heal any wounds that have been left...

Shadow has been the pinnacle of kindness... people have commented that he should have kicked my ass to the curb in November... people have told him he needs to get a lawyer... He's told them all to shove off and go to hell and that he will help me in any way that he can... and for that I love him and say thank you to him for everything.... for all the kindness, understanding and the love that he has shown me during this trying time.

Night...Liebchen....Love.... I thank you for being so forgiving and understanding while I broke down emotionally...and I'm sorry for the pain I caused you.