Some People believe that I'm some tough, strong, stubborn bitch...and for the most part thats right...

The truth is I get scared by things too, I worry about all kinds of stuff...

For example...

I have found someone I'm very much in love with.... he's a military man in the united states...
It makes me nervous...the word "deployment" has entered my vocabulary in a way that I never thought it would...that word has become my enemy... not only am I nervous and scared that he will get deployed...I'm nervous and scared that something will happen to him while he is deployed.
Of course I'm scared that he may die....but also I"ve seen what war has done to others and I'm scared for him that, that might happen to him...
The other part to that is...if I don't have my visa or citizenship when he gets deployed...will I get deported...will I still be able to come visit my family and then go home again...

will I be left alone to figure out what I'm supposed to do....

these were some of the things that scared me enough that I thought I would be better off here...

So yeah I may be tough, stubborn, and sometimes cold hearted...but that doesn't mean I don't get scared.