Wednesday, December 22, 2004

And now I'm back from outer space, you just walked in and I had that look upon my face...

sitting at the bus station on the metal bench I swore I wouldn't sit on, due to frozen checkerboard ass effect, a drunken male sits down next to me and wishes me a merry christmas... ok not odd for this time of year...
he goes on to tell me about his job and school and how hes not usually this talkative but he's drunk... I nod and smile and try not to talk to much to him...
says he's waiting for his bus... I tell him I figured that since he was in a bus station...
my bus pulls in... I'm praising anyone who'll listen... we both stand up... I glance at him... I walk toward my bus... he walks toward my bus... I glance at him again... he mumbles something about this being his bus... I start cursing those I was just praising... he gets on the bus before me... ok maybe he'll go to the back and sit there... he's standing in the middle of the aisle... looking to see where I'm going to sit... I sit down nice and close to the driver... put my bag on the other seat... he moves it and sits down.... now he's trying to convince me he's like Santa Claus and that he/offers only come around once a year.... by this time his cheap liquor breath is really grating on my nerves... and stomach... then he tells me about the "other girls" he has but how he wants me.... yeah like thats supposed to work... he wants to know how hard I would like to hold on to him... I tell him so hard that he can't breathe... he didn't get it... so I let him know that my man might want to hold onto him that hard too... he didn't get it... now he thinks I want him and that my man would too... so he tells me how big his dick is and if we weren't so close to the front he would whip it out for me to see... asks me if I'd like to go to the back... umm no... again with the Santa bit... tempted for a moment to tell him I'm Jewish... he says oh my stop is coming up... tells me its my last chance to take him up on the opprotunity... apparently his parents are "out of town".... umm no... I need to get home to tuck my kids in... so he shrugged said it was his loss and that I would never meet a black santa with a dick like his again...

yep like I care... I don't "play" with just anyone... you gotta be someone special...and black santa doesn't qualify....

not even going to get into shopping...
not even going to get into the story about wanting to kill Raistlan...
not even going to get into how I went skating again today... (didn't fall)
not even going to get into how expensive it is to fly to England...
not even going to get into how much my back hurts...
not even going to get into the story about the lil engine that could...
wha? where'd that one come from...
there's nothing right now that could top "Black Santa Proposal"


3 comments:

JustSue said...

OMG totally hilarious! Funny how drunks can never take no for an answer - and wouldn't be able to pick up on a subtle hint of "feck off and die" even if it bit him on the end of his big black santa parts!

Amanda said...

Well, getting hit on by drunks isnt exactly a confidence booster, I know. Ive been drunk and hit on enough people.

The Witch Doctor said...

Shan I was looking into it for two of us to go in July... was gonna cost about $2200 for two weeks...
just don't think Squig could put up with me for two straight weeks... LOL