Seriously Keyboard WTF is up with the French Shite...

Wednesday evening after the Boychild went to bed I went to the store to get some time for my phone and when I got back I got hit with one of my ocular migraines... my vision got all fucked up for about a half an hour and then came the searing pain in my right eye that shoots through my head...

It got so bad I was curled up crying from the pain... The Man offered what he could to help with the pain but it just wouldn`t go away.
Went to bed and got some sleep.

Woke up the next afternoon, asked the Man if he could call the pharmacy about the prescription the doctor gave me for the migraine pain. He came back and told me we had no power, but he got dressed and walked over to the pharmacy, just to find out that it was closed due to not having power.

Come to find out thanks to Krammit that a huge portion of the city was without power... and they had no estimate in regards to when we`d have power back on. So I needed to figure out how to feed the fam since everything we have in the house needs to be cooked. So after getting some help from Krammit (doing some phone calling for me) we found out any restaurant within walking distance and most within busing were all without power.
I called my mum and sister and left messages on their vmail asking if one of them could bring us something we could eat for dinner.
In return I get a text from my sister telling me that she would be here in 20 minutes to pick us all up and taking us back to their house and make sure we leave food out for the cats.
I got angry. I didn`t need a place stay I just need some dinner food that didn`t require cooking... so I sent a text stating such and got a msg back saying `I`m on my way` ... needless to say I was even more angry...and in pain from the migraine and just wanting to go to bed.
So my cell rings and it`s my mum, so flustered as I was I answered the phone and stressed to my mother that...we do not need a place to stay...we just needed some food. Because really when we do stay at my mum`s we barely sleep...it`s not like there`s a guest room with a bed. It`s blowing up an air mattress on the downstairs floor. Really with the way I was feeling that was the last thing I wanted.

So when my sister gets here she gives me attitude because she was in St Catharines when she got a call from mum telling her to not pick us up and to just pick up some food for us. So she had to turn around and head back to Niagara Falls to find somewhere open. Then come back to drop it off.

Meanwhile I had taken a percocet to try to help my migraine, and was on the verge of tears most of the evening.
The power finally came back on at about 8 or so in the evening.

The Manchild called after his meeting with my sister and starts on me about how he wants to stay in Niagara Falls the next evening and then how he has a garbage clean up that he has to go to on Saturday morning oh and then of course his ball hockey game is Sunday morning... and he doesn`t understand why I was possibly upset about any of that.

So I got off the phone with him and just lost it. Started crying.
It was like everything of the day plus the pain I was trying to deal with just came crashing down...

The Man was sweet and put down his laptop and came over to the couch I was sitting on and just hugged me. I told him `You`re super awesome and I love you so much, but it`s all this and I just miss Big Daddy so much...` I`m so glad that he understands and doesn`t feel put out when I tell him things like that. That`s one of the ways he`s super awesome.

After that I sent a text to Big Daddy and was thankful he was around to talk to throughout the evening, though it did start out a bit ...enh.

The percocet didn`t really do anything for the pain in my head. I ended up staying up and watching the Royal Wedding. I wasn`t going to because I wasn`t really interested in the whole thing but I found myself still up at 3am and figured wtf why not...

She looked great and it was a very pretty dress, the Queen looked awesome and that`s about all I`m going to say about all of it.

So here I am and I still have a headache and I`ve just found out that none of the migraine medications the doctor can prescribe for me aren`t covered... *le sigh*

I can get all the narcotics I want but no vaso-restrictors ... wtF

oh well ... such is life.

I`ve set up a doctors appointment for next week and hopefully ...

So as I`m sitting here and in the background the show The Doctors is on because I`ve not changed the channel and as I`m sitting here talking about my headaches...when suddenly a viewer asks about menstrual headaches... so the doctor starts talking about the drop of estrogen when the progestrone rises... so talk to the doctor about the possibility of doing full cycle birth control... where you just stay on birth control rather then taking the break... so then she follows it up with but if you have the migraines that have the auras then you`ll want to stay away from birth control as there is a higher risk of stroke... UM WHAT...

I`m having (aura) migraines and am on birth control and am over 30... *le sigh*

so because of how I am I`ll likely get a migraine again and start thinking I`m having a stroke...

I`m going out for a cheeseburger... fuck this shit of trying to be healthy...

Mmm Girl Wood For Fast Cars...

Any evening that I get to chit chat with Big Daddy makes me all giddy and smiley... so last night was no different...since I had been texting back and forth with him for a few hours while he was at work...

Even woke up in a good mood even though the door bell woke me up...

However I was not a happy camper when I came out to my computer to find my screen flickering... I don't mean just a little flicker here and there... I'm talking seizure inducing flickering... considering all I had wanted to do was sit, watch some shows on my computer while I was doing some stuff with my hands...

so I went in for a shower and hoped the flickering would wear itself out while I was in the shower...

No such luck... so I went and grabbed the other monitor that died on me (in case it miraculously revived itself when I wasn't looking) plugged it in and no go... so tried another monitor cord with the flickering monitor...and it still flickered... video card not loose... so colour me fucking pissed...

Just so happened to be texting with Burton and when I told her about the monitor issue...she comes back with "I have a monitor for you" ... and she brought it by after she was finished work... even hung out and watched Glee with us... it was nice... especially since she's leaving on Friday for her and the Nerd's honeymoon... who the hell am I gonna text with all day?? lol

So no the monitor doesn't work...just yet...apparently this particular one is supposed to come with a 12v power adapter...so if Burton doesn't come across it then we'll see about getting one...

When the monitor was bugging the crap out of me I decided to sit down and do the zipper on my dress... yeah... the sewing machine was being a douche bag... so I have a feeling that Tuesday was actually Monday in disguise... Instead of wrestling with the sewing machine and it's tension...I just turned it off and figured I'll do it when I'm less frustrated...

fin.

Insane Beginnings Love Impromptu Sucklings

Just over a week...

that's how long the hair lasted... I've taken it out... oh what a fro!

I wanted more of the braids and I didn't do the elastics at the base like it suggested which made it pull more and start to slide down... so I've taken them out...going to wash them up and braid more of the purple and I bought some really neat multi-coloured wool so I'll be braiding some of that up as well and putting them all back into my hair...

I've gotten mixed reviews on it everything from "Wtf??" - "It'll take some getting used to." - "Omg I love your hair!"

It's been an interesting week.

I also got my new specs this past week. However, since I'm on my laptop I don't really have a pic on here that I can post yet.

Hope everyone had a Happy Zombie Jesus Day Weekend.

Oddly enough I didn't spend much time on my computer...when home the boys spent all their time on my computer...and my laptop just sort of annoys me because of how slow it is...so instead I started making a new dress...I had a caftan and an old slip, neither of which I wear so I took them apart and started a sundress... well sort of... it's finished now...I just have to put the zipper in and then hem the bottom...the bottom of the 'dress' comes down to about the middle of my thighs... I was texting Burton and saying it'll likely end up a long shirt...she suggested getting some leggings...to which I just might...again just to find money for them...lol

hmm maybe I'll post a pic when I finally get the cajones to put the zipper in it.

for now I should take my cell and go to bed... I do love to text while asleep!!

I don't believe in sanctity or hypocrisy...Can everyone agree that no one should be left alone...I feel like a new-born kicking and screaming

Rather then staying at home this morning and being all hateful online... I figured since I hadn't eaten anything I would go up the street and get my blood-work done at the lab... it's usually not very busy... you know with a wait time of maybe 10 to 15 minutes...

So I had a shower and got all ready to go... put my ear-buds in my ears...slipped on my sandals and walked out the door... I took the requisition forms with me for the blood-work and for the x-ray I needed to get done...

I walked through the door into the lab and picked up a number... 42... then heard the woman at the desk call... 31... oh yeah it was packed... I just silently looked up to the ceiling and asked why my patience is what gets tested more often then anything else... I sat and waited like a good girl... 

after being there for about 30 minutes I heard an alarm go off (like a kitchen timer) and one of the techs said to the other jokingly in passing 'You think he's awake?' with a chuckle and then I heard them call The Man's name... I knew he had been up there but I hadn't seen him so thought maybe he wasn't there anymore... sure enough he comes out from the back and goes into a cubicle... 

when it was my turn she took 7 vials of my blood... got a full STI panel, glucose, cholesterol, thyroid,...blah blah blah...

up next... walking across the street to the hospital in the snow...and went to go get my thumb x-rayed... my right thumb has been really sore for almost two months... so when I was down at the doctors I decided to talk to him about it... if he doesn't see any injury or arthritis in my thumb then he's saying he'll shot a bit of cortizone into it and hope that it will help... so I'll have to see how it goes... I'd prefer to not start getting shots in my thumb...

the Man and I went to Timmy's after the x-ray, where I explained one of the reasons I was so upset... we headed next door afterward and priced some ram for my netbook...one more thing that's sort of not needed but omg would so be appreciated... found out it will only cost 40 bucks to get it... so I'll have to look at the budget to see if that can be squeezed out...

came home...and vegged... I had wanted to watch Queer As Folk and just make jewelry... though still in a foul mood I didn't want to try to make something beautiful while feeling so ugly...

the Man got me smiling and laughing while at Timmy's...

I'm still upset but not as nearly as upset as I was this morning... now I'll just end up worrying.. and replaying shit over and over again... 

And now I'll have the worry in the back of my mind about my tests... I always do... I get them all done every year... but I still worry... I think it's only natural... and I know I'll be ecstatic and let out the sigh of relief when the doc tells me that everything is fine... too bad I have to wait a week... 

so tomorrow is a trip to the pharmacy to pick up my new meds... I'm kinda hoping that Laurier calls tomorrow as well saying that my new glasses are in... that'd be nice... really looking forward to them...

I'm really tired... I feel like I could sleep for days...

stfu gtfo gfy

This is when and where I would normally slice my wrists and let it bleed all over the screen in an extreme angry rant and likely just lash out at all that I've come into contact with for the last 8 hours...

This is when and where I would bitch and complain and scream inaudibly...

And sure that makes me feel better... you know to write it all down to get it out... after all that's what it means to do something that's 'therapeutic'...

However... I'm not going to do any of that this time...

I'm going to hold it in...

Why?

Because I'm extremely reactionary.

So I would like you all to go fuck yourselves and have a fan-fucking-tastic Monday.

Just in case you need visual instructions to go with that.

Have you ever been inside of the new masterpiece...Condemned man...Convicted man...Could not save my life cutting strand by strand...

It's been really odd today...

it's felt like I haven't quite woken up...and yet my mind has been going hundred miles a minute...and I've been feeling restless... like I should be doing something...

generally any time I'm sitting at my desktop I'm working on some jewelry or some crafty project or something... I sat down on the couch while the Boychild was on my desktop and turned on the tv and it felt odd to be sitting there doing nothing...
Ended up picking up my laptop and doing some stuff on it...starting typing  up some stuff that needed to be done...while watching tv...

which btw Gary Busey is fucking insane... lol

going to be an interesting week this week... Thursday I'm heading out to the Trews concert with my sister...for her birthday... I'm hoping to go out with Burton to see her friends band on Friday I think... also need to tidy up abit around the house...and I'm hoping that the snow will stay away so I can go outside and pull weeds out of my gardens...

I was so disappointed today when I saw the snow falling...

I've come to put the people who like to watch poker on tv in the same category with those who are nascar fans... which are generally rednecks... hate generalizations but... some can't be helped it seems..

Went to go see the doctor this week... I need to go for my blood-work, need to get some new meds (for the ocular migraines) and need to go get an x-ray done...probably going to get the x-ray tomorrow if I can...blood tests the day after...

Also met Craig this week... interesting experience... seems he'll be staying down here in the Niagara Region rather then going back up to Mississauga... told him how I don't get to Welland often... helped him out by giving him a long distance card so that he could make some calls that he needed to... I wish I could help him out a bit more...just can't...

Friday night the Boychild and the Man went out with the cub scouts on an overnight excursion... I watched Queer As Folk all night and did my hair... oh and tried to get ahold of Big Daddy...

so thems my new hairs...took me a few hours...and a season of Queer As Folk...

*sighs*  having that feeling again of needing to say something...needing to go somewhere...but just don't know what or where...

The smile upon your face tells you the truth ... You’re exactly where you wanna be

omg went to bed last night such a happy girl... If I could talk to Big Daddy every day, most know that I would be just fucking tickled pink all the time... lol

well last night we were sending texts back and forth from I dunno like 9pm until 3am... so yeah... fell asleep a very happy girl...

I've been feeling really kind of crafty lately... yeah I know not the bet segue but deal with it... anyway... in the spring I always suddenly just wanna create stuffs... So last night after finishing up a couple of the Tree of Life ornaments that I wanted to try out ... I ended up taking photos of all the jewelry I've made that I still have... that was a lot of time... I still need to resize them as well... but... I wanted to put up the two trees I made... I'm thinking of trying an actual tree this evening while I sit and watch tv with the Man and the Boychild...


The other sort of crafty type thing I'm working on is somewhere in the next week or so I'll be putting my hair up in a sort of hybrid of braids/dreads...I just need to go and pick up a couple balls of wool :)

It will essentially look like this... providing I do them correctly... I'll end up posting pics when I've finished.

Another bad segue coming your way...

So I tried out my new enhanced license for the first time by going to Buffalo with Burton for an International Dinner our friend was putting on. I was very happy that we had no issues at the border. Got to the church (where the dinner was being held) and boy am I glad that we didn't wait much longer about going... the food was almost gone when we got there. We had shown up about 20 minutes after starting time... this months meal was Irish.. lots of 'taters :)

After the dinner we invited back to The Pirates pad... I love their home... I couldn't help how much Pirate Girl  reminds me of my Aunt ABC... I wonder if The Pirates are parrotheads like my aunt is... I'll have to ask. I gave Pirate Girl her bridal gift (waaaay early - her shower and wedding isn't until October) she seemed really genuinely happy with it.
Sometimes I'm not to sure about how the stuff I make for people will be received. Her reaction though definitely was worth it. She put the necklace and earrings on right away and then went running to the kitchen to show her Pirate Boy.
It'll make me very sad if I lose touch with her just because of the other bullshit that's going on and will eventually blow up. I'm not really wanting that day to come yet... but I know my aunt too well... it will.
I wish I had taken a picture of the set I did for her...might send her a message and ask her to take a pic of them so that I can keep them in my album.


Rawr!

Now I'm Free....Free Falling ... Falling...

I just had an awesome dream that when I woke up made me feel very sad...

I have a friend who lives far away and sometimes when they come to visit we don't really have any time to spend together...and nowadays when I do get to see them I feel like I'm squeezed somewhere into their agenda...

In the dream they had come for a visit again and I had assumed that there wouldn't be time for any sort of visit with me so I didn't even ask about it this time... and was pleasantly surprised when they came to get me and we did all sorts of things together... went shopping, sightseeing, lunch and just hung out together... it was really nice I was really happy to get to hang with them...

I was invited to go to a party and they came with me... and we all had a really good time...after the day we had they were tired so went back to their hotel as I left with some others to go somewhere else after the party... just about to leave and the friend waved the car down just so they could have another hug... they smiled and told me they'd call me the next day...

They did.

It was awesome... and yet when I woke up I was so sad.

I just knew that...well to be honest... that will never happen.
Guess that's what dreams are all about ... getting caught up with the thoughts of stuff that'll likely never happen.

Hell after the last time I did get to see them when they visited I wouldn't be surprised if I don't get to visit with them again.

I suppose we'll see.

There doesn't seem to be anyone around...

Yeah... so I'm a dumbass... came across this article in the local news... and read it and thought WTF?! and then linked it to my Facebook account... with of course my opinion on the subject within...

So after a few people made comments... my aunt made a comment about it being a joke... So I went back to the article and looked at the date... the spot I had looked the day before and sure enough it was now today's date... and I hung my head and mumbled... "I'm a fucking door knob" ... but I just shrugged it off and left the article up so that everyone could get a laugh out of the fact that apparently I had fallen for a silly April Fools joke put out by an isp...

So yeah... like I said... I'm a dumbass...oh well ;) seems it gave a few people a chuckle... so at least I could do that...

I"m sitting here...watching a show I've already watched... why you ask... well because a guy in the show seems to have the same heart condition I have... and they gave him a medication for it to stop his episodes... (WTF??) there's medicine that could help?? so I'm waiting around just to see if I could catch the name of the medication...so that I can look into it... again you ask why... well... because I got a referral to the cardiologist I wanted to go see.. yeah... my god damn fucking appointment is in September... I wanted to cry when it came in the mail...seriously...September? I've just sort have been left speechless... Probably going to call his office and get on some sort of waiting list for cancellations... or something... I truly don't believe he's that booked up...

... other updates to do... too exhausted to make 'em now...

Oh Uterus, How I Loathe Thee...

If you're male and are still reading past the title of my blog... you are a brave brave man... however I'm warning that this post is all about girl bits... so you may not want to read on...

I came to the conclusion a long time ago that my uterus hates me... I really tried to love it anyway since you know it is a part of my and all that jazz  - oh btw stole the title from Krammit's blog  (thanks for that Krammity-Jane) - so back to my bitching...

From the moment I got my monthly courses I knew I was in for a trippy ride... at least that's what I figured from all the shit they told us about in health class... I always had a rough time with cramps... but was always one of those really lucky girls that only got her period for 3 days... unlike some of my friends who got it for a full 7...

After I had my first son... my uterus I think got angry... for every time I had to go through the monthly uglies... the pain would be the equivalent of being in labour... for 3 days... hell my labour with the Manchild was only 9 hours...

After the Boychild... oh gods above it was fucking craziness... pain to the point of wanting to puke... pain so bad that I would snap at the Man and kids...

Then just to prove that it really hates me it just decides to not do it's job anymore... hence two years of taking fertility drugs...*mutters* hate you uterus...

I hate being on the verge of tears, so angry I could spit nails, in pain, and squishy between the legs all at the same time... it's no wonder that men think we're fucking psycho when we're bleeding... we don't know which way is up half the time...

The Man...and Big Daddy... are really good about my craziness... when I am and am not bleeding... lol

I want so badly right this second to rip off someone's face, slap them with their own tongue, want a hug, chew on red meat like some sort of wild animal, and cry... yes all at the same time... *le sigh*

So now I've been back on birth control for a whole month now... and I can honestly say that I think whatever doctor came up with the lame fucking sell point of 'helps menstrual cramps and acne' fuck them... I want to rip off their faces... the face part of their faces...

It's when I get like this that I know that I'd be capable of murder...

maybe if I'm still like this tomorrow instead of doing 'angry cleaning' I'll do a couple hours of 'angry working out'

meh...for any guy who read this... sorry... and... to quote one of the men in my life...

You keepin' close, you never fly away... While you in and out of every door... Flyin' back and forth, back and forth

God Damn Family Movies...they get me every fucking time... Just watched Marmaduke with the family... stupid talking dogs made me cry...

so ... my day... enh...

got up early... went to the mall... tried one of the new Timmy's fruit smoothies... um... Yum! got the mixed berry with yoghurt... omg mmmm... it was like my mouth was having a party... after that went to H&M to see about a sundress I saw that I was hoping would come in different colours... nope. Won't be going back... they have some pretty ugly clothing. Then we headed to our eye exams (The Man and I)... but another sundress caught my eye in another store... so quickly went in and looked at it...making a note to go back after our appointments...

went to the appointment and told the doctor about the issues I've been having with my vision... she believes I'm having Ocular Migraines... not exactly what I had thought but good to know that I'm not going blind...

so new glasses are ordered and on their way hoping to have them by the end of next week... she (the doc) put some sort of yucky yellow drops in my eyes...looked like I was crying lemonade...it was creepy... and then she used the dilation drops and man oh man did that suck walking outside afterward... I had on my sunglasses and still demanding the Man give me his hat as we walked over to the bus stop... I sifted through a huge pile of maybe glasses and brought the selection down to 6 pair... then I brought it down to four that I was going to see if the Man liked them or not...but had to go in for the last bit of my appointment now that my pupils were HUGE... as it was when I got out and was looking for glasses for the Man I found another pair... so I was back up to five pair... ends up... I went with the pair I chose last while I was looking for glasses for him... lol

I'll have to post a pic with the new specs when they get in...

So after all that fun and yes it was fun... told the women that worked there I wanted to come and work there they seemed to have fun...

We went for a sushi lunch...it was yummy for me... and alright for the Man. He didn't eat any of the rolls as they had the kelp/seaweed wrap and he can't stomach the taste of it... so he he'd other stuffs off the menu... what seemed to bother him the most was the noise... it gets really loud in there and today it seemed overly crowded... but he's my trooper...

We went home after that because it was getting close to the time that the Boychild would be home... I took the bus... the Man walked... I was already into a sushi coma and knew I wouldn't make it home walking...

He made it home before me... I was walking down the road in one direction toward home and the Boychild was walking from the other way... I have to say that from almost a block away I could tell the Boychild was angry about something... I saw the Man get up from where he was sitting and having his smoke and start walking toward the Boy... I took out my ear bud in time to hear the words "Friggin crying like a baby!" just before the door slammed...said by and slammed by the Boychild.... needless to say ---> o.O  was the look on my face... got the low down quickly from the Man and then headed in to talk to the Boychild... seems we were having a bit of a 'stick crisis'... The Boychild likes to bring home sticks that he likes so that he can play with them again later... yesterday he brought one home and left it in the front porch... today after school he saw the kid from around the corner carrying it... he kind of went off on the kid... gave him a bit of a push and took the stick back while yelling at him... So I sent the Man to the neighbours house to talk to them about why they were taking stuff out of our front porch... sent because frankly I didn't want to go back out into the sun, my eyes hurt and it was giving me a headache...

major crisis averted... :)

So then I had to get on the horn and call my mom to see if she would take me back to the eye place (had to drop off some forms) and then take me to the grocery store... just after placing that call Burton texted me and asked if I wanted to go with her to a sale at the book depot... I wanted to... but couldn't as I didn't know what was going on with the grocery shopping...sucks...they're having a sale on cook books... but good news... she sent me a text while I was shopping to let me know that the sale is going on all month long :)

I start a lot of sentences with 'So' ... hmm I'll have to stop that...

got home from doing all that... and was just too tired and sore to cook so thankfully the Man made up some burgers and fries...and we watched Anaconda...*teeheehee*  and then we watched Marmaduke... which brings back to the beginning of this post...

Somewhere in there I got a call from a friend of mine who is from Mississauga saying that he's in Welland...and he's in a shelter there because of some crazy shit that happened and some strangeness that ended him up in Welland...I need to get some more info in regards to that...