One More Post Before The Changing of The Year...

As I sit here with my TV blaring the concert in Niagara Falls, and the kids play Yu-Gi-Oh over on the couch and the Man lays on the love seat with his laptop, I couldn't help but think that I needed to write just one more entry before 2011 starts in about an hour and a half.

New Years Resolutions? take 'em or leave 'em...?

I leave 'em... I've not made them... they do seem a bit pointless... people forget them by ground hog's day... or at least by St Patty's Day when they all go back to drinking their faces off... or for women the first time they step back on a scale again they go for that bucket of ice cream because they hadn't lost that 15 lbs yet... lol

Yeah so I just don't bother with them... and I don't ask others what their resolutions are.

So Christmas take 2 is happening tomorrow... the Man's mother woke us up this morning saying that since it's warm out she'll be heading down this way tomorrow... rather then on Monday because apparently the weatherman, who by the way is right only about 5% of the time, says that it's supposed to freeze on Sunday... ok so fine whatever... however... now I have to thaw an almost 15lb frozen solid turkey... #fml

So this also means that the Man is leaving earlier then anticipated... only good thing about that is that maybe he'll be back sooner.

I really prefer to hibernate if I can when the weather gets cold... he takes the Boychild to school and to Cubs and he goes to the store... pretty much anything that happens outside the front door... he does all that in the winter... so for a week maybe two... I'm going to have too. :( my doesn't want to...

Got a couple of single beds for the boys last night.. thank you Ikea and lady on the other side of town... they broke their bunk beds just before Christmas... they seemed much happier this morning now that they're up off the floor...

The hosts just said a few minutes ago that if you want good luck in the New Year that you should be standing next to a tall dark haired man when midnight rolls around... the Man will have to work for being tall this evening since Big Daddy's not around... ;)

And now back to Great Big Sea, Offishal Kardinal, and Barenaked Ladies...

Happy New Year... I hope you make it through 2011 unscathed.

Break On Through To The Other Side...

I keep flipping through my tabs and stop for a moment longer on this one thinking that I should probably take the time to type something up... though I've been told that my posts are too long... and the last few days I've wanted to say a whole lot...

Yesterday was a year since I had seen my grandma... she passed away almost a month later... I had gone to church with her with some other family members and then we all went to lunch together... so pretty much the last time I saw my grandma was giving her a hug in the parking lot of the Red Lobster... I miss her.

All of my natural Grandparents have passed away now. I still have my Grandma, who was married to my Mom's father.

Christmas... yeah generally...I would talk about it and give an update about everything... but I've talked to Big Daddy about it, and the Man... so really... I'm done bitching about Christmas and really just want it to be over.

Next week I have to put up with the Man's mother... if she makes it down... she has the tendency to not come when she initially tells us... however... the Man has agreed to go back with her up north for a couple of weeks...

And then I get to go to a family gathering and be all cheery with people I see twice a year.

Somewhere in there is New Years Eve... which instead of going to the Falls to watch an awesome Canadian based concert, I'll likely have to stay home and try to see about watching it at home. I suppose I'll be warmer that way.

We're all alive and survived the holiday thus far...

the end.

oh wait...

watched TRON this morning... went and watched TRON Legacy in 3D... fucking loved it... good day!

and now...

the end.

Told me you loved me, why did you leave me all alone? Now you tell me you need me when you call me on the phone...

So get this... more on the odd phone calls front...

Sitting here today contemplating doing something more then just watching sit-coms...and I hear my cellphone ring... as I stated before people don't call my cellphone... they know better...

So I go into the bathroom (yes that's where I charge my phone) and again there's a number I don't recognize and this time it wasn't the old man trying to find his son named John... no message left but I am curious like a kitteh and called the number back on the land line since I have coverage all over North America... it went to some voice mail for some woman who's name I couldn't quite understand in the recording.

So I just hung up. Fast forward about 15 minutes, the Man and I are sitting here watching another episode of my latest addiction and the phone rings, I look at the id and start laughing as the phone number was the same that had been on my cell.
The following conversation was had;

Me: Hello?
Her: Um Hi there I believe I just missed a call from this number...
Me: (I started chuckling) Yes that was me trying to figure out who was calling my cell phone from this number.
Her: (sounding a little embarrassed) Oh. Um yeah that was me I misdialed and didn't leave a message.
Me: Ah well that explains it.
Her: Yeah I'm sorry about that.
Me: Hey no problem have a great day.

What is it with all the strange phone calls?

When all the stars collide, in this universe inside. The big big bang...

Update on strange calls... got another text to landline call yesterday... same number as last time... this time message was...

FWD Did you know that the Canadian Postal service came out with a new stamp with a penis on it. I heard you were confused about what side you're supposed to lick.

Again... funny as hell... but annoying as well... lol

So I sent them one back... not a text but a voice mail message that they'll get on their phone. Just letting them know that they're spending almost a buck each time they send the messages to me and since I don't know them or don't care I'll keep accepting the texts.

I guess I'll see what happens with that.

Every so often I have these moments that just sort of solidify the fact that I have grown into my geekdom somewhat...

As I stand at the stove rolling peanut butter balls through melted chocolate, there's no conversations going on in the house, only music. So there I was lost in my own thoughts and suddenly call out to the Man, who is laying on the couch with his laptop.

"Hey would you say I'm chaotic neutral or chaotic evil? cause I think I could see both."

Yep... if that doesn't scream geek I dunno what does. However, thankfully without asking anything about it his response comes back.

"You? I'd definitely say chaotic evil."

Me : "Really? Chaotic Evil?" finally turning to look over at him.

Man: "Well maybe Chaotic Neutral with evil tendencies." without even looking up from the game he's playing.

Me: "Hmm yeah I think I could definitely say that, but you really think I'd be Chaotic Neutral and not just true neutral?"

Man: "The fact that you just asked me completely out of no where, yeah that tells me definitely chaotic."

Me: "Hmm yeah I suppose that would be correct." I said as I was nodding and thinking about it.

Geekdom at it's finest in our house.

I mean we then went on to talk about why it was I was thinking that I could be neutral or evil. Which is probably a much more interesting conversation to be typing up, but it involves men and sex and deceit, and espionage and fleeing the country and such... So I'm sure any reading this post wouldn't be interested in that at all.

I don't want to have to get all cryptic about what was on my mind at the time, needless to say we came to the conclusion that I'm chaotic neutral with evil tendencies.

I'm ok with that.

I'm either Bernadette which I just think she's a flake and not exactly fitting for Chaotic Neutral... or I get bouts of Evil Wil Wheaton... like I said... I'm ok with that.

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

ok the past couple of weeks I've had a few strange phone calls... I thought it was just happening on my cell... but apparently not.

A couple of weeks ago I checked my cell and there was a strange number on it saying that I had missed the call.
Then last week same number on the phone, this time a voice mail was left. A very old man asking me for the name of the cancer doctor I had gone to because he thinks he may need to go ask them some questions.
Then last night we were all sitting around and my cell went off again (everyone knows not to call my cell, it's only used for texting) so I got up and went over to it and there was the Dunnville number on it again. So I did a reverse look up on it after hearing the message. Again, very old man, this time saying 'John was that you who called me earlier and let it ring about 10 times? I was in the bath tub.'
Ok, so I couldn't just let it go because it's quite obvious this old guy has my cell number and seems to think my name is John. So I grabbed the house phone and gave the ol' guy a call.

Yep, really strange I know but it bothered me, not in a 'I'm really upset stop calling me it makes me angry' kind of way.

So he answers the phone and I very politely let him know that I think he has my cell number mixed up with some one elses. I repeated his voice mail to him per his request as he had apparently forgotten what he had said. Come to find out in the 2 minutes I was on the phone with him explaining the situation; he has 4 boys, he's just turned 90 years old, he was in the tub when someone called him earlier, he was quite embarrassed about the mix up and that he lives in Dunnville on his own.

He apologized and said he would check with his son (John) to find out what his cell number was and wouldn't call back. I politely told him it was quite alright I just wanted to make sure he was calling the right number so that he and/or John didn't get worried about not hearing from one another.

So then tonight, the land line rings, I look at the caller id and notice that it's a cell number and answer it figuring that maybe it was the Manchild's father or something.

Nope.

I get an automated message explaining that I just received a Telus cell to landline text. If I wished to hear it press 1... intrigued I pressed it. The automated voice reads the following to me;

FWD Are you alright, I heard you weren't. A friend told me you built a penis on the front lawn made of snow, and that your lips are stuck to it.

I had to press 3 to hear that again. Not only did I find the message itself funny, hearing the robotic female voice say it was even funnier.

The Man came out of the bathroom to see me laughing and the kids confused.

I recited the message to all of them and they all started laughing as well.

Yep never ending barrel of fun times going on here ;)

You're a knife, sharp and deadly, and its me, that you cut into...

I do believe that I've finally figured it out.

Ok so haven't really updated here about the pain that I've been having... well if I did I don't remember posting them.

So I was having some issues where sometimes after having a good time either with another or by myself I would be in extreme pain for the next couple of days afterwards.

So I had been starting to think that I would never be able to orgasm again without having to pay for it with pain for the next few days. This of course had really started to wear on me... because of course as I just said a post or so before... I'm a sexual person.

So just picturing me without sex in my life was starting to get pretty down about it and had talked to the Man a couple of times about how I should try to get past this issue, or if I should try experimenting with timing and what exactly could be causing it and so forth.

I know that if I went to talk to the doctor about it I would have to get really specific about when it happens, for how long and after doing what...
So I suppose this month has been 'all in the name of science'... different days... different methods... and so forth.

It's been just shy of interesting.

That is until this morning...

I decided that since I was up, and tend to wake up in the mood to have some fun, I had a few minutes of free time while the Man took the Boychild to school, I would utilize the mood and the alone time.

I don't think that was a really good idea. I've been doubled over in pain since...

Women tend to keep track of two 'times of the month' ... sometimes three depending how anal they are... *mmm anal...* sorry off track... um anyway...

So generally we keep track of the lovely time that ruins our sheets, underpants, moods, and so forth... and then the other one some of us keep track of which to me was far more important was that time of the month where if not careful you'd end up with a mini me running about.
(that one's not so important now to me for that reason because it's been proven now that I won't be having any more children... not even going to try anymore...)

I sat down and looked at the calendar and realized that tomorrow is the start of my (so called) fertile period. So then I started thinking about when the other bouts of pain after orgasm were. As far as I can tell now that I'm keeping track of the pain... it comes when I'm just about (but not really) fertile.

what does all this mean?

I'm likely to not get laid during the week of my menses and now I'm likely to not get laid during my (so called but not really) fertile period... man that knocks it down to two weeks of the month I can actually enjoy having an orgasm.

FML.

You Got Me Begging You For Mercy, Why Won't You Release Me?

So most people who know me... (hmm I use that a lot when I'm writing about oddities about myself - *shrugs*)

Anyway... those who know me know that I'm an extremely sexual person... generally more comfortable delving into the smallest of nuances about the act of sex then most people are with talking about what's new in their lives... and what colour the sky is...

who knows why... I blame it on some of the company I've kept over the years and the conversations had over the web of cyber space that makes up this craziness that is the internet... a lot easier to talk openly about some of the most intimate of subjects when you can't see the judging look on the other persons face... then to find out that you might actually have some of the same oddities in common with the other faceless Anon's out there... well hell you've just made a connection with that person that might not ever be discussed in each other's company unless in the dark...

however... that seems to have bled over to my offline life... I've been told by people that I'm not afraid to talk about just about anything and how they wish they could do that as well... *blink blink*

srsly?

I edit a lot of the shit that comes out of my mouth sometimes too much so... but that's a different post altogether.

So... was having a debate about sexual fantasies... celebs vs real people...

It's just human nature to fantasize... whether sexual or not... however... in this case it was a sexual fantasy debate

Most people will fantasize while having a bout of self loving. (some do while with others... but again... 'nother post for another time)

I personally take the stand of... it's perfectly natural to fantasize about others when you're with yourself. Whether you want to picture yourself with Johnny Depp or your Neighbour... whatever floats your boat.

The flip side was - you should only fantasize about those who are truly unattainable.

Really though... what if I was deluded enough to think I could land Johnny Depp? Then by that argument I would not be allowed to fantasize about him.

Personally... I don't imagine celebs when my hand's between my legs and I'm in my fun land.... srsly. There are only three men that I fantasize about and I've already been with them.

It's just the type of person I am, I find it better to know/remember what it felt/feels like to have them with me.
That and it's just easier... leave it to me to find the easy way to masturbation. Huzzah...

So I suppose the debate would be settled with a simple... some like it some ways and others like it other ways...

However... if you're ever with the one you're fantasizing about... don't be shy and tell them what you want... done to you or to do to them ;)

Believe me... if you don't... you'll just regret it.

Shh...

Better Today...

Things that help me get out of my shallow moments...

include conversations with those few that I consider friends... certain songs... music videos... some movies... etc...



This is one of those songs and videos....

Shallow Moments...

I saw something this weekend that nearly made me lose my lunch. So I was quite thankful that I hadn't eaten for quite awhile.

I went into the bathroom while at the hotel the other night and was not so pleasantly surprised by the naked fat chick in the mirror.

Ok so it's not like I was deluded prior to that about my weight or how I look/ed

However... as I stood there for a moment I really took a look and was not very happy.

I don't think some realize that once you start losing weight one of the main things that happens when you start losing weight is the stretch marks don't go away, they tend to get worse and skin doesn't just go back to where it was when weight is lost.

The only way to fully appreciate the yuckiness of it all is... well  I'd have to post a pic and do the whole sports caster pointing out what I'm talking about and I think that it would just be best for everyone's sanity, gastrointestinal health and long term memory if I just let it go there and not try to describe it in full graphic detail.

So needless to say I stood there for a few moments with a disappointed look on my face and the thought of I doubt I'll ever believe anyone who sees me naked and says that I'm sexy.

I once had a conversation with another woman who also likes both men and women. She said that she found stretch marks sexy, I understand that because I have no issues with them, but the ones that seem to carve into the torso, leaving deep gashes across my abdomen...and lower... *shakes head* not so sexy to me.  I agree that stretch marks can actually be a bit of a turn on and quite sexy and fun to play with during foreplay and exploration... *trails that thought off...*

The more the weight shifts around on me...away from my stomach and to other parts of my body... the more my stomach looks worse to me. I know that we're always the most critical on ourselves but I can't help but wonder.

I know that I joke around about being adorable and cute and other things but that's because that's about as far as it goes... sexy just seems foreign to me, probably why I tell people that they need glasses and things like that.

I generally only get undressed in the dark now when I'm going to bed... or wear something to bed...

I'm glad about losing weight and being healthier ... not really happy about how it's making me look though.

I know probably really shallow sounding... but it's just been on my mind I suppose...

I've been known to take some naughty pictures and send them to Big Daddy... but even with those it's a case of that part of me stays covered...

Sometimes it is a bit awkward...

I was on my way home today on the bus, ipod charged and keeping me company and I found it ironic that Linger by the Cranberries came on as we were leaving Toronto.

Watching it rain through the window and just sort of thinking... then another of those really odd morbid thoughts popped up.

What would I do if the bus were to get into a really bad accident... so my mind takes these morbid thoughts and runs through scenarios of what I would do or what might happen... especially if I was alright...

Have to overly analyze everything ... I suppose.

But for now... I have a phone call to make before I fall asleep again.

What do you think about while brushing your teeth?

The weirdest moments trigger some of the oddest memories.

I was in the bathroom about an hour ago and I was going through my nightly routine of washing and moisturizing my face and brushing my teeth... not all at once of course but anyway...

As I stood there brushing my teeth I had a memory of my Grandma, on my dad's side, creep up into my brain...

One night when my sister and I were staying at her house we would get ready for bed together. My grandma when I was little had a full set of dentures that she of course would take out and brush just before she went to bed.

I remember asking her the next morning after one such evening why it was that she had dentures. I don't remember the explanation why it was that she had them, but I remember her looking me in the eye and telling me that I need to take good care of my teeth so that I didn't have to get fake ones like hers. Going on to explain that she used to have very good teeth and that she hopes that neither of us (my sister or I) would ever have to get false ones. I didn't think anything of it at the time, I was just little. I'm not sure how old exactly but I know that my Grandma passed away when I was 10...

So of course going along on the thought process train... it choo-choo'd along to how fascinated I always was of her false teeth. She thought it very odd that I would ask if I could brush them for her (shh I was a kid wtf did I know) So she would hold them and would let me brush them with her toothbrush. I would comment that I thought it was handy to just take your teeth out to brush them and then put them back in, in the morning, and if you had anything caught in your teeth you would see it and be able to better brush it out.

I suppose I was always an odd child.

I regret that I didn't get to spend a whole lot of time with my Grandmother and always felt that when we would go to visit that she didn't like me very much. She taught us lots of stuff and I get my crafty ways from her in a lot of ways. I remember going into their basement and it would be full of craft stuff. Grapevine wreaths that were partially made and waiting for us to decorate, she taught my sister and I how to cross stitch... she would have all sorts of projects for us to work on.

I don't remember why it was... but I remember...just barely... for about a week my dad would put my sister and I to bed, I was sleeping in a sleeping bag, for in the middle of the night before he went to work his midnight shift he would carry us out to the car that we had at the time, and woke up in my grandma's house and would spend the day with her.

I should ask my mom about that... maybe she was in the hospital or something...

Anyway... I always loved playing in the garden... chasing my sister around the house... sitting in the breezeway between the house and the garage playing cards...

One of the last times I had seen her my aunt was sneaking us kids, her two and my sister and I into the hospital. Hiding the baby at the time under her coat while we ducked and weaved around nurses and orderlies  as we made our way up to her room.

It was only a couple of weeks later that she passed away.

Her death didn't really affect me at the time, what the hell do you really know about death at the age of 10?
When we got home from the funeral that day, me still in my dress clothes, I sat down on my bed at the time and started to cry. It wasn't until then that I sat down and realized that I was never going to spend the day with Grandma and visit with her ever again.

Now 20 years later... when a memory from that time comes to mind... I try to only remember the funny or positive stuff... and I take a few moments to quietly reflect and remember and smile... because I know that one day maybe 20 more years from now... I'll likely have forgotten them.

I suppose that's one of the reasons why I write so much stuff down... so that I can remember it later.

Who knows maybe one day I'll sit down and read this blog from start to finish and have all sorts of memories come running back. ... hrm... maybe not ;)

Love you Grandma and Grandpa  

Reindeer Coming and They're Gonna Eat Your Begonias

Alright first off let me start off this post by saying...

It is NOT my fault.

Some are going to blame me and even curse me after they hear what I have to say... but I'm sticking to my guns and staying with the... It's Not My Fault.

So I'm on the phone with Big Daddy last night and I was laughing at him for living in a state that most people would assume would be warm enough to not get snow and yet it has snowed there at least 5 times (according to him) already this winter.
I mean c'mon he lives in a desert ffs...
So last night I did some finger pointing and some laughing at the fact that sure I live in the south and we haven't had any snow. Sure it's the South of Canada but still south ;)


The common misconception with most individuals south of the Canadian border is that as soon as you pass over that invisible line that separates the two countries that you're now in igloo and dog sled country. (I shit you not... oh the stories I could tell and maybe one day will) the fact is that where I live we get less snow then the rest of the province for some reason. I think it has a lot to do with the Niagara Escarpment that sort of shelters the city from a lot of the snow that hits south of us i.e. Fort Erie/Buffalo. There has been times that I've found out that my relatives have been snowed in at their homes yet I look out the window and there's like an inch of snow on the ground.
Man I love my city.

Anyway... so where was I in my story?

Right so I was laughing at Big Daddy and all the snow where he is, which he wasn't overly impressed with, but still loves me (yay!).

So the Man is crawling back into bed this morning and grumbles at me "It's all your fault..." to which of course I (who am sleeping and cramping and trying to not kill him for waking me) respond with "What?"
He says in my ear as he burrows back under the covers "It's snowing."
I sighed and went back to sleep.

So contrary to what the Man says... this is not my fault. It's December 6th, it's Canada, it's winter... it's it's... it's not my fault.

So since I'm not taking the blame I think I'll shirk off the blame and turn around and say that it's just nature. ;)

I like snow... I dislike the cold but I really don't mind snow... it makes for some really pretty pictures.

I love you Big Daddy, thanks for the snow. ;)

November 15th 2005 - I Read The News Today... Oh Boy...

I was going through an old blog I had on dead journal and found this... Many people used to ask me what happened when I would have a cardiac episode with my SVT... I wrote this in response to try to tell what happens. This still happens to me even after my heart 'procedure'.


Laying still on the bed, eyes closed... trying not to move, not wanting to give away the fact that she was awake... the alarm had gone off a couple of times already... he had reached over her hit the snooze a couple of times and quickly got back under the covers...
she didn't want to get up the bed was nice and warm and she was extremely comfortable...
then it happened...
the weird wave of uneasiness washed over her frm head to foot... trailing down her arms to her fingertips... little waves of electric blah... down to her toes... the sound dulled in her ears, she felt a numbness at the back of her head... her throat started to tighten... 
without opening her eyes she spoke towards him... "Raistlan, could you please go get me an icepack and a tea towel?"
he jumped out of bed without even answering... ran out to the kitchen, snatched the icepack out of the freezer... and grabbed a tea towel... she tried very hard to concentrate... she couldn't her uneasiness caused her brain to feel fuzzy...

she sat up and couldn't breathe very well... she needed to think... but think about what? she thought she should concentrate on what was hapening... but what exactly is happening... she couldn't focus... she couldn't concentrate... she had a heaviness on her chest... she couldn't breathe... and her heart... her heart.... her heart was beating so fast she couldn't count that fast... she could feel it in her throat... in her wrists... in her chest... the constant thumping... the beating that was so violent that she could feel it all the way to her toes... at times it felt her brain was thumping to the same time... 

the thumping is so loud and so violent... after even just a couple minutes she feels like she's going insane... she tries thedifferent techniques they told her too... but to no avail...

she asks him to start the shower... a cold one... she tells the littlest one to get dressed... she points the clothes out for him.. she still can't focus... and can barely stand on her own... he comes back... she stumbles and staggers into the bathroom... she sits on the toilet... starts the techniques again that they told her to do...

all of a sudden she feels her stomach drop... her throat tighten real tight... a pain in her chest... a pop happens in her chest... she exhales loud and hard... she had been holding her breath... she asks him to turn off the shower... leaning against the sink... she looks into the mirror... her eyes looked sunk in... her skin was pale... she felt sweat on her brow and in her hair... 

she asked him to take her pulse... he searched for a spot where he could feel it... 

see at the end of one of them... her pulse disappears for awhile... he found it... it went back to 80-ish... she felt light headed... she felt exhausted... she felt like she had just ran a marathon... she needed to lie down... she crawled into the little ones bed and tried to relax...

for the rest of the day she was tired and she couldn't think straight...

Keep smilin', keep shinin' ... Knowin' you can always count on me, for sure

Ever feel like the people you'd like to connect with better don't feel the same way about you?

Sort of leaves you with that feeling of 'what's wrong with me that they don't want to get to know me better?'

Went and did that weekend with the few women I had mentioned in a previous post. It went well. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves by the end of it.
I know that it could have gone the other way, only because I know that there could have been tension with one of the participants and myself and you just never know with them if this time will be one of those times that you will be treated like an outsider.

I asked the man earlier way it is that I seem to have such a hard time connecting with people. He was at a bit of a loss as well.

There's just a lot of times where I feel like I have to try harder then everyone else, and then end up shrugging and saying 'fuckit' and stop trying, but then later on I wonder why.

I suppose if I'm gonna say fuckit then I should stop wondering why afterward.

Was asked at the beginning of the Saturday morning while awaiting my breakfast to make a list of the top 10 closest friends of mine.
I felt sad when honestly told them that I don't have 10 close friends. Those friends that you can call when really in a bind to help you out, especially with emotional support of some sort. There wasn't 10.
I wrote mine down... there was 6.

They don't even know each other, so it's not like we can all go hang out for drinks or some shit. The first one on the list was the Man he's here so that's good. The Second was Big Daddy he's 2500 miles away. The Third, Krammity-Jane she's here but really only accessible by phone. Fourth, was Squasha yeah just moved from Qatar to Zurich, but yeah there's a big pond in between. Fifth, was Narkash, he's in D.C. not exactly close. The sixth? Well they were a maybe depending on the day, sort which is one of my ex's who is in Delaware.

So yeah.. real close friends there. Except for the Man all of them are a minimum of an hour away.

I was talking to my dad on the phone earlier this evening and was half joking with him about how I wasn't exactly sure why I signed on to start selling Avon when I really am not good at talking to people. He told me to not talk to the people and instead talk about the products, I get that but it would still be talking to people about the products.

Don't get me wrong I do like talking to people but I like talking to those whom I choose to talk to. I know probably snobbish or what not but *shrugs*

I like my little cave that I live in and bringing those I like into it on occasion and then closing the door behind them again when they've left my cave.

I'm fairly anti-social and generally when I do make friends like the 6 I have, they tend to be fairly anti-social themselves.


Oh well.. I'll stop wondering what's wrong with me and wondering why others don't want to know me better or come and have coffee and hang out with me and just stick to my little group of people that are dear to me.

"You think brushing your teeth is foreplay" ~ Marge Simpson

I am one of those crazies that believes that the cure for things like AIDS and Cancer have been found but they keep getting swept under the rug... for either financial reasons which is what a lot of the crazies will say but I'm one of those other crazies where I actually believe that it's for another reason as well which isn't all financial but also... wait for it... population control.

The virus that is human beings is spreading at such a dramatic rate that there needs to be some sort of population control, n'est pas?

just a thought I suppose...

So I started this blog post earlier today and then had to hem some pants for the Boychild... which I never did get to finish hemming... and then when we got home I started sewing on some of his badges... and now I don't quite remember the tangent I had rolling around my head ... but whatever it was has disappeared again...

Sometimes it's frustrating when life interrupts my tangents... other times it's a fantastic distraction for my brain...

So here I sit wondering what the heck I'm going to finish up this blog with that might be a bit more provoking then ... oh hey they can't fix the PS3 but hey at least we still have our Wii, N64, GameCube, Xbox and so forth... lol

And yet what is something I put on my xmas list... ?  DSi XL

oh yeah... I've explained the ridiculousness of christmas lists in the past when it comes to my family... So this year when Mum asked for my christmas list I put the most ridiculous list together for myself and the Man....

Things like... a car that's drivable, a house, DSi XL, new TV, world peace, cheese (any kind except Swiss - the Man doesn't like it), new computers, new wardrobe... etc.

I think she's getting the hint that I don't like making christmas lists...

You'd think that those who are friends and family and know you should know what you'd like... and really it is supposed to be about the thought right?

and now I'm tired and going to bed... the Simpsons just came on and the remote is across the room and I can feel my energy and IQ being sapped...