Have You Had Your Knuckle Sandwich?

When I was younger, a teen in high school, I had come home really late one night with a friend of mine who was sleeping over. I don't to this day remember where Bobbi and I had been that night only that we had been late for dinner and that I hadn't called. When we got home my Mom was really bitchy and instead of putting up with her bitching at me (us) about not calling and being late I started bitching at her right back. I o course was sent to my room and Bobbi was told to go ahead and get some supper from the kitchen.

I was bitching at my mother all the way to my room and was going on and on about how life was unfair and all that sort of teenage angsty shit.

I had forgotten that my dad was on the midnight shift and so I didn't remember that he was in bed at the time that I was doing all of this until suddenly he bust through my door.He back handed me in the mouth before I could even figure out he was in my room let alone smacking me. The blow sent me stumbling back onto my bed where I brought up both my legs and started kicking him. He smacked me it the face a few more times before he finally left my room again.

That night I left. I went out the window. The only problem was that my byfriend at the time lived across town in Fort Erie, where I was in Crystal beach. I only had one sort of friend at the time that lived close enough to me that I could get there before anyone would realize I was gone. Jordan's house. Though I hadn't talked to him in awhile.

I got to his place and talked to him. He lived with his grandmother at the time. They gave me a place to sleep. I ended up in his room while he slept out on the couch. I promised his grandmother, who didn't want any trouble, that I wouldn't be staying and that yes I would be going to school the next day. I didn't have any intention of going.

It was in the middle of the night and everyone was asleep. When I awoke to the sound of my mother's car. I crawled out of the bedroom I woke up Jordan and told him what was going on. He woke up his gran, and pleaded with her not to let them in and to tell them that I wasn't here.

She didn't and she did. She stood there arguing with my mother and my sister telling them that I wasn't there and that they hadn't seen me. I laid there in that bed thanking her profusely for sticking up for me and not letting them in. It was after all almost 3 in the morning.

He thanked his gran and she just muttered something about how I'd better be gone in the morning.

I was we made it look like I was going to school, but we snuck into one of the abandoned buildings nearby where we could see the road. We planned on hiding out there until the local transit was about to come by so that I could catch it down to Fort Erie.

I saw my mothers car go by a couple of times and was thankful for the hideout.

Five minutes before the bus was to come by I ran down the street because Jordan needed to get back to the house and I needed to get to the bus stop.

It was like a scene from some after school special, just as the bus was pulling up, so did my mother and father. He was out of that car swearing and shaking a fist at me while I was trying to wave down the bus to stop. It didn't.

So I started running from my father, finally I heard my mother scream at him... I'm not exactly sure how it happened after that. Somehow my mom convinced me to get in the car and told my father to walk home. It really wasn't that far. I went straight into my room and shut the door, my mother told me to get ready for school. I told her that my father had broken one of my teeth when he decided to back hand me in the face.

Thus ends that story... So I was having this odd dream this morning that helped me figure out why it is that for three weeks I could get up no problem at 7 am and now suddenly I'm dragging my ass out of bed, much later than that. I'll get to that after.

So this dream sort of mirrored the above story. I had gotten up and got the boys all ready for school and sent them on their way. Came back to bed and went to sleep. My sister came in and she commented about how the daylight savings time always screws with her clock and I was saying something about how it seemed to put me back on track again. I went to sleep. Then awoke to my mother bringing in a bag of cheerleading uniforms (likely because of the movie I watched before bed) and instead of just setting them down on the floor she threw the bag of them on me and started bitching about my still being in bed and how I was never going to get up and workout and lose any weight if I'm constantly sleeping in. So I got bitchy at this and started kicking my legs around causing all the clean uniforms to scatter all over the floor while yelling and bitching "Yeah here ya go here I'm working out how the fuck do you like that? do you think I'm losing weight now ma?!"

And like a blast from my past my dad busts open the door and moves around the side of the bed and has this look on his face that says 'yeah you know what comes next' to which I surprised even myself with saying 'Yeah I do'. I got up out of my bed an adult now, not some scared teenager and I cold clocked my father with a right hook. The look of surprise on his face and my mother's, who was at the door, especially as I came around with a left next. Then stepped up and kneed him right in the stomach. "Yeah, I'm not little anymore and you're no where near as scary." I said as I pushed him out the door into my mother, and then proceeded to throw all the uniforms out the door. Get this, I then got back into bed and went back to sleep.

My mom and dad haven't been together for over 10 years now. I think that's the part that  surprised me the most out of the whole thing, I was wondering what my dad was doing in the same house as my mother. I'm not sure why I didn't wonder why it was that my sister or mother were in my house.

I wasn't able to get to sleep until after 4am. Which even then  I had my alarm set for 10 am so that still would have been 6 hours sleep so I should have been able to get up. I have a feeling that it's because of the Man that I'm not getting a good night sleep. Between his snoring and his sleep apnea (which he isn't wearing his machine for any longer), I'm not able to fall asleep until I'm just too exhausted to stay awake.

I was able to go to bed at 2am and get up at 7:30 am in order to get the Boychild to school while he was gone to his mothers, and after taking the kid to school I would come home, work out and still stay up the rest of the day. That changed to being unable to do that...as soon as he got home.
The only nights that I was able to do that were the nights I took sleeping pills. I don't want to spend the rest of my life taking sleeping pills just to get a good nights rest.

Something's gonna have to change.