OMG I Had To Share This...

I receive the monthly newsletter from T-Shirt Hell...I love the editor sometimes he's just too funny...

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YOU CAN'T BEAT IT
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People often say to me, "You seem to hate everybody, and everything.
Isn't
there anything you love?" Of course: I love to masturbate! There are
few
joys in life as simple and as perfect as rubbing one out. Even though
I am
now super rich, and I regularly bang actresses, models and pop stars
who
have names that rhyme with hoho, I occasionally give in to the
immediate
gratification of jerking off.

There are no pleas for cuddling, there's no requests for child support,
or
awkward questions like; "do you love me?", "how am I going to get this
out
of my hair?" or "But you're the one who put it in my ass! Maybe you
can
lure it out with a piece of chicken?"

Also, sometimes when you're fucking a supermodel, you can split those
skinny
bitches in half when you ease it all the way in, or blow the tops of
their
heads off if you cum too vigorously. Supermodels are really only made
to be
walking clothes hangers, they're not really designed for rough sex.
Then
you have bodies to dispose of. Fortunately, supermodels make excellent
kindling, although they can be a bit dry.

But back to the subject at hand (no pun intended). I know you all
think
that you're excellent masturbators and are eager to type on your sticky
keyboards and tell me about the latest porn site you found or fetish
video-
girls tied to rocks while eagles shit on them as they're fucked by
porpoise,
volume VII- that you just downloaded. I say boring! Amateur crap!
What
about your roommate? Or let's pretend that you have a significant
other who
shares your home. Sadly, most of you probably still live with your
mom,
right?

Let me clue you in. They are on to you. They check your history
folder,
they look at your cookies, and they've held a black light over your
laptop.
And the fact that you delete your history folder every night does not
convince them you're simply trying to conserve disk space, considering
your
hard drive also contains mpegs of every episode of Knight Rider.

When you're planning on having sex without a partner, you need to think
outside the box (no pun intended). The best place to masturbate,
besides
standing outside of the Today Show, is the kitchen. Yes, the kitchen
with
its endless supply of lubricants, and easy to clean surfaces. The
kitchen;
where you can beat your meat and make a sandwich. Best of all no one
ever
suspects.

How many times has this happened to you?

"Where are you going, honey?"
"Oh, I just have to use the bathroom. Go back to sleep. I'll be out in
10
minutes, 5 if I stay focused."
"Leave the door open, and don't flush. I want to see this
masterpiece."
"Dang!"

But here's your new scenario:

"Where are you going, honey?"
"Kitchen"
"OK. Just don't eat the roast beef. It's full of maggots.
Goodnight."
"Woohoo!"

So here are some final tips.

Greasing up: It's the mother lode- from cooking spray to chunky peanut
butter, Tabasco to tabouille. Extra virgin olive oil is terrific. But
if
you have a fast hand, it may start to smoke. So, you may want
something
that can withstand the higher temperature, like peanut oil or Crisco.
Do
not be tempted to use Drano. I know it says it will clean your pipes
but
this is not a euphemism.

Inspiration: Mrs. Butterworth, Betty Crocker, and Mama Celeste are all
hotties. If you like men there's the guy on the Brawny paper towels,
the
Jolly Green Giant and Mr. Clean. If you're a freak there's Tony the
Tiger,
the Keebler elves, and the dancing hand from Hamburger Helper.

Bonus items: Cucumbers, carrots, and wine bottles oh my! Rinse them
when
you're done or use them for coleslaw with your own special tang.

Clean up: Again, it's a snap. Personally I like to do it right into
the
dishwasher, but you're welcome to take advantage of the sink, the
trashcan,
and the oven mitts.

While this advice holds true for both men and women, the ladies get one
additional tip. You don't need to hide when you masturbate. No one
will
judge you, everyone wants to watch. You can actually make a fairly
good
living at it.

So enjoy yourself, and until next time,
this is the Editor saying, "Bon Appetit!"

Squasha Come Home So I Can Squish Ya...

Why is it telemarketers and collection agents have to call so freaking early in the morning...???
I never actually answer the phone when they call... but the ringing of the phone wakes me up...this time it just scared the crap out of me while I was sitting here opening up my blog so that I could type...

"she feels like kicking out all the windows and settin fire to this life, she would change everything about her using colours bold and bright but all the colours mixed together to grey, and it breaks her heart, it breaks her heart to grey...."

I feel like I'm falling into a routine....wake up...play with the kid...feed kid...get dressed....play with kid....convince kid that we must go catch the bus...get on the bus....feel sick...walk to work...wait fifteen minutes...give kid to shadow...go to work...blah...

"I would go out tonight but I haven't got a stitch to wear, it's pensive, it's gruesome that someone so handsome should care."

So I got my nose pierced yesterday before work...had a couple of people look at me funny when they found out that I had it done like 40 minutes before my shift... I said why when would you have gotten it done? I told them I didn't really have time on the weekends to do it...
Keenan went with me (obviously) I didn't want him running out the front door so I asked him if he would like to come in the room with me while I got it done... he was good stayed put in the chair... I wasn't sure what he would think of the girl putting a needle thru mmommys nose but he was good... he just looked at the piercing amazed while we were walking back down to Hell. all I can think now is....wait til I get my tongue done LOL what will he think then...

"I only meant to love you didn't you know it baby didn't you know it, then why couldn't be content with the love I gave? I gave you my heart, but you wanted my mind. you're love scares me to death boy, it's the choking kind."

I talked to a friend of mine the other day, I don't get to talk to him too often (he lives in England) I felt really happy to hear from him.
When he moved there I told him how sad I was that I wouldn't get to see/talk to him that much anymore... he said..."well it's not like we saw each other all that often anyway...and we'll still be able to talk online like we always do"
He was wrong we don't get to talk nearly as much as we used to because of the time difference. (England is 5 hours ahead of Ontario...just incase ya didn't know) Anyway, I wish there was some way we could talk more, just because it made me sad the other day after we talked, it reminded me just how much I do miss him. Last time he was home I didn't get a chance to get to see him either. *sigh* I miss my Squasha.

"I was a sailor, I was lost at sea, I was under the waves before love rescued me. I was a fighter I could turn on a thread, now I stand accused of the things I said. When love comes to town I'm gonna jump that train, when love comes to town I'm gonna catch that plane..."

So I found out yesterday when I walked into work that the campaign I'm on at work is leaving hell. As of Monday I will have to start training for another campaign...all I could think was...fucking wonderful, just when I was actually getting a hang of this shit, now their going to change it on me. If I can't keep the same shift that I have now I'll have to quit. *sigh* just when I was starting to get used to working again... fuckers. Welcome to Hell.

"I'm not afraid of anything in this world, there's nothing that you can throw at me that I haven't already heard. I'm just trying to find a decent melody a song I can sing, in my own company. I never thought you were a fool, but darling look at you. You got to stand up straight, carry your own weight, these tears are going no where. You've got to get yourself together you got stuck in a moment and now ya can't get out of it, don't say that later will be better, now you're stuck in a moment and ya can't get out of it."

What Makes You Purr? by bluemystique82
Name:
Age:
Favorite Food:
You purr when:	you commit murder
You as a kitten:
Quiz created with MemeGen!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/bluemystique82/kitty_surprise.jpg'>

The University of Blogging Presents to Rae An Honorary Bachelor of Boredom Majoring in Non Sequiturs Signed Dr. GoQuiz.com ®

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Blogging Degree
From Go-Quiz.com

Rae Highway Fame City 5 Contentment Meadows 16 Loony-Bin Lane 51 Tower of Commitment 142 Study Hall 519 Please Drive Carefully

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Where are you on the highway of life?

From Go-Quiz.com

MTV Video Music Awards

Ok I love award shows... I like watching them to see the celebrities... to see who was wearing what...who won what award and who would be preforming...


I was sickened and disappointed tonight...

tonight was supposed to be a fun night...an awards night... it turned into a political meeting... the Bush girls and the Kerry girls were there... saying "Vote For Our Dad"..."No, Vote For Our Dad"... after that for the rest of the night celebs would come up and say no matter who ya vote for just make sure you vote...

of course none of the celebs would actually say anything about how to vote for fear of being treated just as the Dixie Chicks had been...

I just think they could have done without all the political stuff rolled into the show... I mean they had shirts that said "Vote Or Die" on them... wtf was that about??

*sigh* oh well...

How Long Will The Fly Last?

Ok so now I know Shadow is weird...

Tuesday night Shadow caught a fly (normal run of the mill house fly) in a 591mL Coke bottle... it has less then half a teaspoon of Coke in the bottom of it... maybe 10 drops with an eye dropper...if that...ANYWAYS...

he has the fly in the bottle on his dresser in tyhe bedroom... he couldn't find the lid to the bottle so there is an altoids container on the top so it can't get out...

today is now the wee hours of the morning on Saturday and the thing is still alive... I was just informed that there is no liquid left in the bottle... Apparently this is like a small sceince project to him..he wants to see how long the fly will live in the Coke bottle...

talk about needing a hobby...anyway...

so now I ask you...how long will the fly last???
I'm betting this coming tuesday... anyone else have any other guesses?? LMFAO

Hmm so it seems that Sue and I have an admirer who does not want to be known, but wants to judge us... thats cool I've always been one to say "You have the right to your opinion" However I also have the righht to voice mine as well... so here's my response to what "the voice of reason" had to say point by point...

Anonymous said...
The voice of reason

1. Start thinking about your future.
-Just because I have not posted as to what my intentions are for the future does not mean that I have not been thinking about it, so that comment has no grounds.
2. Stop flashing your breasts on line
-I haven't "flashed my breasts" on line in months. So that comment also has no grounds.
3. Go to night school.
-You obviously don't read my blog or else you would know that I have a job at night time. So again that comment has no grounds.
4. Get a real life.
-I have a life. Do you? Besides hiding behind a name that obviously doesn't suit you.
5. Focus on your kids. They are young once.
-I happen to spend all day with my children and are my main concern. Even if they were young twice they would still be my focus. Again a remark that has no grounds.
6. There is more to life then looking at a screen.
-Thats quite obvious considering I do not sit here staring at a screen all day and all night, since I have children to raise and a job to go to. Maybe you should step away from yours once in awhile.
7. Create your own opportunities.
-And what opportunities of mine do you know about? or should I say NOT know about? ....hmm how about all of them because I'm very selective as to what I share in my blog entries. If you believe that my blog is everything about me you are sadly mistaken.
8. Start hanging out with a better class of people.
-Well I don't hang out with you so in my eyes I already am "hanging out with a better class of people"

If you want I'll tell you what I really think.
- I could care less about what you think of me or anyone else. I know who I am and I've been learning to love that person, Can you say the same about yourself?

Now with that finished, "the voice of reason" you are not welcome to post here, I will remove any comment you post. I do not take life advice from someone who does not know me, hell I don't life advice from those who do know me for that matter. I am not interested in anything you have to say in regards to my life, and I could care less about what you think of my life.

You know you've been friends with someone too long when you find yourself sitting there in your chair, and that friend is in the middle of telling you this really funny story about something that happened to them when they were younger. When you've heard the story a million times before, actually you've heard it so many times, you are filling them in on the part they missed. The only thing is a lot of times that friend doesn't realize that you're filling in the missing parts and you also have the biggest look of boredom on your face.
what do you do...as a friend do you say... I know you've told me that story before... or do you laugh at the story as if you've never heard it before?? do you tell your friend to get new stories? I dunno...

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So twice now I've been nice and given a cigarette to someone at the bus station that has asked for one... the other day I notice when I'm sitting on the bus, a really skinny guy with a shaggy hair cut, dirty blue jeans and a plain red shirt. He looked like someone who just got off work from a construction job... walking along the platforms for the buses... then I noticed that he stopped infront of the cigarette/garbage can...poked his fingers around in the ashtray part and pulled out the cigarette I had just been smoking before I boarded the bus...

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On Tuesday night I ended up staying late at work because I had a call that went over the 10 o'clock mark...so I go trekking down the street to the bus station, not in a hurry because I know I have at least 45 minutes before the bus will even get there... so between each platform there is a lil section of benches... theres four double benches next to each other... (double in the sense that there is an arm rest in the middle of each benh spearating one bench into two seats) so I'm sitting on the far end of the one bench that is closest to my platform... some girl walks up and obeys the unwritten bus station rule of "when the benchs are empty except for one person you must sit at least one bench away", to my left... so after about ten minutes or so I decide to light a cigarette. So I notice that my smoke is blowing right into her face... so I turn to her to say something to her...and she has her shirt over her mouth and nose... so I chuckled to myself... and I asked her if she would like to change spots since I noticed that the smoke from my cigarette was blowing in her face... she thanked me and I said it was only fair since she wasn't a smoker... she rplies with "nope never smoked a day in my life, I'd like to live for those last ten years of my life rather than take them away"... I just nodded...but what I wanted to do was blow my smoke back in her face again.

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Have you ever been so frustrated with someone you'd like to slam their head into their computer monitor? I've been so frustrated with someone that I've I've wanted to flick them on the end of their nose...and I thought that was my boiling point for frustration...however it seems that I have an even higher threshold for frustrating people...

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HOW DO I LOVE THEE

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my saints,-I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning

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Olympics....Uniform Colours...

I have a question about the Olympics...

I've been watching off and on during the day... mostly the Canadian station...well because there is more canadian coverage on channel 6 (CBC) then there is on channel 2 (NBC)... anyway... I've been noticing that the uniforms the canadians are wearing have an awful lot of blue in them... I was under the impression that the uniforms were made with the countries flag in mind... the greeks wearing blue and white...the jamacians wearing yellow, green and black... the chinese red and yellow... well ya get my point... the americans of course wearing the red white and blue for the most part... the only time I didn't see them wearing red white and blue was in female gymnastics...they had red uniforms with sparkles... so I guess my question is...since the Canadian flag is Red and White, where did the blue come from on our uniforms...

I know I think about the weirdest things...

Fat Hooker...

As some of you may recall on Friday the 13th on my yahoo status it said " Have you ever seen a fat Hooker?" well that was because that night on the way home on the bus I had seen one... I had never seen a fat hooker before... some asked "well how did you know she was a hooker?" well lets just say I lived in downtown St Catharines for two years in hooker central... I know what a hooker looks like... anyway... I digress...

So I have seen said fat hooker a couple more times since then... Ii started to wonder if she was making any money since I had seen her so many times in the last week or so...

Well... Tonight on the way home from Hell...err... I mean work...

the fat hooker got on the bus...

Apparently she either pissed someone off or her services are not very good... she decided to get on the bus... which surprised me for she is a fat hooker with a bus pass... so obviously she's making some money...(bus passes are $75 bucks a month)...anyway she was bitching to the woman in the first seat that tonight was not her night.... it was obvious to the woman in the front that she wasn't talking to me nor was I about to ask her why...and since there was nobody else on the bus the woman in the front took the bait and asked why...fat hooker replied with "some asshole just drove by and threw an egg at me" "tonight?" the woman in the front asked..."uh yeah not more than ten minutes ago.." I stopped myself from laughing out loud... "well that's too bad" said the woman in the front and nothing else was said... thankful to her the woman in the front got off the bus before I did...

Now I'm a fat chick..I know this... so I would normally be the one to stand up for the right for fat people to wear whatever they choose... however I sat there finding myself judging the fat hookers outfit... she was wearing a denim overall style dress that was about 4 sizes too small, the buttons at the sides of the dress were screaming under the pressure and were threatening to pop off just for some relief... a black tank top that again was at least four sizes too small and a white bra that was not giving her boobs any support... I sat there thinking.. damn if she can afford a bus pass she should at least be able to find some clothes that fit her for an ok price...

when she got off the bus at her stop all I could do was shake my head at the thought of the poor fat hooker with her clothes too small and the stickiness of the egg spot on her dress...then I thought...well she is a fat hooker and we didn't actually see the egg throwing incident so was it really egg on her dress or did she find a bill clinton john before she went home... that thought sickened me I had to put it out of my head at warp speed or else I knew I wouldn't be able to eat dinner when I got home...

and thus ends my time with the fat hooker.... for now...

enh...

Ok so as you know I went to Jenn (Krammit) and Terry's wedding on saturday... (posted a couple pics) everything went great, everybody looked terrific, I was so friggin tired when I got home...

I need to get all my other pics off of Jenn's computer, so you may have to wait a few days for thos ones...

Blah I don't wanna go to work... lol been there for a week now... and I'm so freakin tired all the time... I know I know it's only 4 hours a night 6 if you include travelling time... I'm fine when I get there...
Good thing is I do get my first pay cheque this friday..woo hoo... lol

Anyway... I'll write more later... I have to go get the boys ready to go... and then take a shower... later

Aren't they just the cutest. 

Krammit and her man Terry cutting their cake at their wedding last night. Isn't she beautiful. 

ok so I've been thinking the last couple days about the "100 things about me" list...
so I think I shall attempt it...

1. I smoke less then half a pack of cigarettes a day.

2. Before my first pregnancy I was 105 lbs

3. I once lived in Saskatchewan (but can never remember how to spell it)

4. I didn't get my drivers license until I was 24.

5. I've only been in love 3 times.

6. When I have my period I suffer from cramps that are comparable to labour pains.

7. Ever since I was little I've wanted to be a stripper (don't ask...even I think it's weird)

8. I had short hair twice in my life, when I was 8 I had a very short hair cut and a rat tail going down my back, then when I was going into grade 7 I had short curly hair...

9. I have two sons.

10. I have size 6 feet

11. My hair is over 36 inches long

12. My eyes change colour with my moods, and the colours that I am wearing...

13. My favourite flowers are orchids from the farmers market in st catharines

14. my first computer was a commodore 64

15. I spent most of my childhood in the Crystal Beach Amusement Park

16. I collect Faeries, Moons, Stars, Dragons and Monkies

17. I started smoking when I was nine.. I would steal my dads cigarettes and go smoke out in my tree house in the woods...

18. I love travelling...

19. I hate liars...

20. I'm a witch... not as in the so called polite way to say bitch... I am a person that practices an old pagan religion

21. I have been reading tarot cards for over 3 years

22. I'm a cross between a tomboy and a girlie girl...

23. I used to skateboard when it wasn't "normal" for girls to skateboard

24. since I was 16 years old I've moved apprx 10 times...

25. I have a first level degree certificate in Reiki

26. I've walked on fire twice

27. I play the djembe which is a hand drum

28. I got pregnant with my first son just before my 18th birthday and when he was a year old I went back to my highschool to get the last two credits I needed to graduate.

29. When Shadow proposed to me we were at a pagan festival and I was drunk and half naked and drenched from a downpour of rain...

30. I started training as a pagan at the age of 13, I held a rank equvilant to that of a Catholic Priest by the age of 21 and was one part of a three part clergy of a coven.

31. I was in Ala-teen at age 16

32. I like inside jokes that don't make fun of others

33. I like butter spindle pretzels

34. I love airplanes

35. I am almost always wearing sunglasses if I'm outside...even in the winter

36. The longest time I ever spent chatting was 14 hours straight with ICQ and I was juggling 10 chat messages at once

37. My favourite alcoholic drink is Killer Koolaid... melon liquer, vodka, and cranberry juice..I also add Sprite or 7-Up... (responsibly of course)

38. I love cooking, as long as I'm not the only one thats going to be eating

39. I have a birthmark on my right bicep.

40. One of the people I consider a very dear friend lives in England, and we don't know a lot about each other, but we are always there when one of us needs to talk, and we are extremely comfortable just being in each others presence.

41. I've always needed to live by water

42. I sleep on my stomach

43. The last movie I watched that I MUST see again is "The Day After Tomorrow"

44. I am bi-sexual

45. My favourite season is Autumn.

46. I never broke any bones in my body until I was 24 and broke my baby toe.

47. I love walking in the rain on the beach.

48. I've been skinny dipping over 25 times

49. All except one of my extremely close friends are male.

50. I'm not afraid of heights but I am afraid of falling

51. I went to college to become Horticultural Technician

52. My favourite sport to play is volleyball

53. I was a dancer for 10 years.

54. I was in martial arts for 12 years.

55. I love to sing along with loud music... however I do not have a good singing voice at all...

56. I LOVE music...all kinds...yes ALL kinds...

57. I'm completly fascinated with serial murderers...

58. When I was little (age 9 I believe) my family went on a vacation to Florida and my dad and I both got stung by jellyfish... and I was scared that Jaws was going to come and eat my Dad.

59. I have a very morbid imagination... walking across the street... I picture will flash in my head of me getting hit by a car and I would be bleeding so badly that my white shirt would slowly be turned crimson... then when I finish crossing the street the image goes away. Another example, standing next to the canal when one of the ocean liners are going thru I'll have the image of me falling into the canal and being torn to pieces by the propeller.

60. I have an understanding with all spiders in my apartment... they come down from the ceiling they will die... if they don't then they won't.

61. I love taking long showers

62. I wear glasses for reading..

63. I am finding it hard to come up with 100 things too list about me...LOL

64. My favourite food to cook for others is my grandmas recipie for homemade oven baked mac and cheese

65. I'm learning to love fridays...1 because it means it's dress down day at work...and 2 because I don't have to go to work the next day

66. I love to sleep... sleeping in... napping.. anything that deals with sleeping...

67. I suffer from (what the doctor calls) Anxeity attacks...

68. I met all of my Great Grandmothers before they died.

69. I never want to change my last name... it's part of who I am.

70. I didn't want to put anything sexual for number 69 and I managed to think of something...lol

71. I would like to go thru my memory banks in my brain and erase the ones I don't want to have anymore.

72. I cry during war movies

73. In my own apartments I have never put the roll of toilet paper on the dispenser, I keep it beside the toilet or on the back of the tank... it's easier to change rolls then to waste time with that springy dispenser thing :D

74. I went on a roadtrip when I was 11 with my grandfather. We went to British Columbia via all the Northern states.

75. I'm allergic to fresh cut grass and elasto-plast band aids.

76. I once had my second toe (one beside my big toe) on my right foot stung by a bee, it sweeled up so bad I couldn't wear a shoe on that foot for 2 weeks.

77. When I am at home I tend to go to the bathroom with the door open. Might as well since everyone including the cat tends to walk in.

78. I've never been on a train.

79. I hate the bus. It makes me feel like I'm going insane, being closed in with a crowd of people, and the noise hurts my head.

80. I got a trampoline for my birthday two years ago from a friend of mine. We set it up for the first time this summer at my mothers house. Last Saturday was my first time ever being on that (and any other) trampoline.

81. I got my bronze mediallion and life gaurd certificate when I was 16.

82. When I was a kid I took piano, guitar and art lessons.

83. My favourite colour is blue.

84. I love marionette puppets and I own four of them.

85. I used to be a cheerleader in highschool. And yes I still have the outfit, and by gods I will fit into it again someday soon.

86. My favourite outfit to wear is my camoflauge bdu pants and an olive drab green long sleeved shirt...why? because it pisses my mom off :))

87. I have three little hairs that stick straight out from my throat, I've always had them, they've always been there. They're blond. My mom use to point at them and say "ahh look at the lil chicken hairs" and it made me so self concious that I would keep my head down so that they couldn't been seen.

88. I smoke Kool Frost Menthol cigarettes, which are strickly Canadian.

89. I dislike beer. I'll only drink it if I'm drunk and it's ice cold.

90. If I could buy the cars that I wanted to I would buy; A 1967 Shelby Mustang GT 500, 2004 Audi TT Roadster or a 2004 Chrysler Crossfire...heck I'd like the money for all three :D

91. The two scents I wear most often are Satsuma and Oakmoss

92. I've always wanted to live in New Orleans.

93. I would prefer to stay at home cuddle up with a monkey and watch a movie rather then go out to a party.

94. I love to go swimming... when I was a kid my parents had to drag me out of our pool kicking and screaming... I once stayed in it for 8 hours.

95. I can eat chinese food with chopsticks.

96. I used to go to Fort Erie and jump onto trains just to see where I would go.

97. Until I started my job in St Catharines (last week) Iin 4 years living here I had only ridden the transit bus twice.

98. Last July I came down with a bout of Bells Palsy. Since then I have had a slightly crooked smile.

99. Two years ago I worked at an Occult store owned by my friends.

100!! I flew on a plane all by myself when I was 11 years old.

Whew...ok just so you know it took me almost two days too complete this list... I started on Aug 19th at 11:58 pm...it's now Aug 21 at 4 am... If you didn't learn anything new by reading this list... then you didn't read the whole thing :P LOL

So I'm sitting here looking at a blank page... because everything I want to say... is floating around in a puddle of gray matter inside my skull and I can't figure out how to put it into legible sentences...
I don't want to bore you with stories from Hell...
I don't want to comment and the state of mind that they're in...cause as you would read it you would think to yourself..."Is this one of those, supposed friend stories, that is actually a cover for something that happened to her?" it wouldn't be... I have a friend who is going thru pretty much the same thing as me... at least she's lucky enough to be talking to a guy that will actually respond to uncomfortable questions... ;) doesn't help that both of them are my friends... and both of them read my blog on occasion... LOL so I'll leave that...

I'm sitting here listening to music... wondering what I should wear for work tonight... and thinking I have to make up my mind and quickly... Krammit's coming to get me so I can do my dress fitting... she'll be here around 2pm and well it's twenty five after one...

I've said before that I wish I could be like the character from "Paycheck" in the respect of getting my memories erased... I know it sounds like a weird to wish... but I can't control my memories and when they decide they want to pop up... so I wish I could just get some erased and not have to worry about them popping up at all...

alright I have to stop procrastinating and go get dressed...

Gotta Love Male Friends That Will Answer Just About Any Question...

Rae: I gotta ask ya a man question...
Friend: k
Friend: <==man?
Rae: just how many cock rings does one man need?
Friend: lol
Friend: I don't know I have none
Rae: hmm ok...
Friend: and I seem to be doing fine
Friend: lol
Rae: good to hear LOL
Friend: LOL
Rae: when it comes to a break up why do men never tell the truth?
Friend: cause they are sneeky
Rae: but if they don't wanna leave the woman hanging with a "I just need some time and space, sometime in the future..." if what they really mean is ..."God I hate you and your ugly and only half good at giving head..."
Friend: lol then he may say something different in that situation, like "i'm moving to russia"
Rae: do men want to feel wanted all the time?
Friend: I do, can't speak for them
Rae: why is that? (that you feel that way?)
Friend: I like the feeling
Friend: makes me feel good about myself
Rae: so one could speculate that most men want to feel good about themselves so they want to feel wanted...
Friend: I guess...do you want me
Rae: not right now
Rae: LOL
Friend:LOL
Rae: do you want to be wanted by me?
Friend: sure like I said makes me feel good
Rae: the male gender of our species is very intriguing...they say that we are complicated and complex...but in actuality both genders are complex and complicated...it just seems to be in different ways...
Friend: yep
Friend: and niether one will understand
Rae: this debate will go on for centuries until we all evolve more and when that happens we will all be androgynous and then it won't matter anymore...
Friend: LOL
Rae: yet I am constantly trying to understand men and their actions... does that mean I'm insane? and why is it I keep trying?
Friend: insane....ummm yes
Friend: LOL
Rae: well it would seem so wouldn't it...
Friend: LOL
Rae: yet I can't help it... I can't help but try to figure out what evil lurks in the minds of men
Friend: evil? nah it's just all about sex
Rae: how to get it? how often they can get it?
Friend: all of the above
Rae: and once they have figured out how to get it they will stick with the one that gives it most often?
Friend: no just about how much they can get, the one that dies with the most pussy wins
Rae: ahh ok well that makes sense
Friend: now give me some pussy
Friend: lol
Rae: lol and thus ends the intelligent portion of the conversation LMAO
Friend:LOL

Hot Or Not....Flash Your Rack...What???

Gawww I caved... last night... I was in the chatroom and I was voting for others that I know and well.... I posted a pic...

http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=O8ESRMK&key=JJD

and a bunch of people got too see these pictures as well... so what the fuck... why not start that up again...

http://www.flashyourrack.com/flash.cgi?user=rae1

http://www.flashyourrack.com/flash.cgi?user=rae

I met a guy from work... who used to work with Shadow... his name is Jeff... we were talking cim numbers one day and I told him how Shadow's was 2000 something... and he cocked his head to the side and said who's yer man? so I told him... Jeff started to blush and said "I know you...err.. I mean I've seen you before" I started laughing... I said "oh yeah... where do you know me from?" he said "well from a certain website..." I said yeah I figured that... a couple years ago they were passing the links around at Hell for my flash your rack photos... it's been interesting to see the looks on the faces of the guys who have seen the pic when they see me... Jeff was just cute about it...cause he said "See I know more about you than you think" to that I replied with "no you've seen more of me than I think....nobody knows more about me than what I let them" winked at him and walked away... that left him wondering what else he wanted to know...LMAO

I'm actually going to go shower now :D woo hoo

"Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from.
I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately, all I can do is take a peek at my piece of mind, I'm tired of looking around wondering what I gotta do and who I'm supposed to be.
I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn, I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn, I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn.
I'm the only one who knows I can be the only one who's learned.
I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately, all I can do is take a peek at my piece of mind, I'm tired of looking around wondering what I gotta do and who I'm supposed to be.
I DON'T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO BE LATELY..... ME!
I DON'T WANNA BE....
I DON'T WANNA BE....
I DON'T WANNA BE...
ANYTHING OTHER THAN......
I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately."

I hate you... I hate what I have become from knowing you... I hate you for the actions you've made that have affected me so... I hate seeing you... I hate hearing you... I hate your attitude.... I hate that you make me angry... I hate that I feel this way... I hate that I don't know who I am anymore... I hate the way I'm shut out... I hate that I can't sleep at night... I hate the cryptic conversations... I hate the passive aggressivness... YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!

*********************************


I've been having strange dreams... not the same one night after night... same man in my dreams but different scenarios... the old native man has yet to reveal himself... he's there, I know he is... I see him... but he won't say anything... I'm not ready...

I Wanna Be ME!!!

Yeah I'm still here... after a couple of days of not posting people start thinking I'm not coming back... I just needed a couple days away from the bullshit.

I'm sick of having to explain myself who to people who don't understand me, don't know how to take me, don't know me, and think that everytime I post in here that I'm posting about them.

"I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately, all I can do is take a peek at my piece of mind, I'm tired of looking around wonderin what I gotta do or who I'm supposed to be, I don't want to be anything other than me. I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn, I'm surrounded ny imposters everywhere I turn, I'm surrounded by an identity crisis everywhere I turn..."

I'm trying to piece myself back together, and there's some people who just aren't helping... I'm sick of people telling me who I am... and telling me who I'm supposed be... this song has become my theme song at the moment... because I have become sick because of people from all sides of my life have been telling me who I am...

STOP!!!!

I am a very forgiving person... I am a very vindictive woman... I am a very compassionate person... I am very spiteful at times... I am a very caring person... I am all kinds of wonderful things all rolled together... I dislike being second guessed or questioned... I am very blunt and straightforward... and sometimes thats good and sometimes thats bad... usually I speak generally about people (meaning everyone, everywhere) in any posting I make on the net... unless I'm in a private message with someone... or unless I put a name in the post that says something negative... I don't shade it... I'm sick of that...

I guess I have to get over my hate-on that I have about the transit system... I now am going to have to ride the bus everyday... twice a day... ick...

HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH!!!

Tests...

well incase anyone wants to know...

I had to do two tests at work to make sure I could actually work in Hell...

one was a phone test and one was a written (knowledge) test...

let's just say I friggin ROCK!!

I got 95% on the phone test and 96% on the written test... now we'll just have to see how I do at applying all that crap to the phones tomorrow...

Tomorrow is my first day on the phones... wish me luck...

I'll talk to ya later...

I'm so emotionally drained that I'm not sure if I'm coming or going...

When I'm at Hell... I know what I'm doing... I'm not sure if I'm gonna do it right but at least I know what I'm supposed to do...

at home I wake up... the kids are playing... I sleep in cause I'm so tired... I wake up and I'm so very tired... I've had a headache for the last two days that has left my brain fuzzy and foggy... I feel blah...

I have $1.25 that I had to get from Shadow for parking today... I'm flat fuckin broke... I hate money... it's evil...

today is the last day that I have to be at training... and the last time that I have to be there from 4 to midnight.... and I gotta say as long as we're doing something time just slips right by... it's when she makes us sit and wait for her that time drags by...

three hours of buddying last night... oh my god snore... I learned some stuff... but it is so boring to sit there and listen to others conversation...

I guess thats why I don't stick around much in the chat room... I could start a conversation I guess... but I don't really feel like talking.. and I don't feel like sitting and listening to others talk...

I'm bummed...

Wasted Time...

If there is one thing I absolutely hate people doing...it's wasting my time...

my trainer... is wasting my fucking time...

She left us sitting in the training room waiting for her for 20 minutes after waiting for her to finish with a few other people...then after wasting 20 minutes she comes back and shows us some stuff for 15 minutes then tells us to take a ten minute break... grrrr fine...I mean I finally started to feel like we were getting on a roll and BAM take 10.... grrr...

all night it went on like this...everytime I felt like ... yeah we're finally on a roll and getting stuff done... she'd say oh take a break... WTF for???

Instead of workin our asses off and teaching us all the stuff we need to know and possibly let us out early... she says ...oh well we'll be here to midnight because my ride is training at Sitel and doesn't get done til midnight... SO FUCKING WHAT??? what has that got to do with us...

So I got home and was bitching about it...Shadow explained why...but it's unacceptable... instead of wasting my fucking time...teach us what we have to do...

I learned more about the systems we'll be using from the guy I buddied with for an hour then I have in the last two friggin days...

Grr I hate her she's a waste of time and space...

The job seems like it'll be easy when I get used to it... and it'll be less stressful then most campaigns... however if she doesn't teach us properly and I get confused when I geton the phones I'll drag her motha fucking ass outside and bust her ass...

Super Mom Was Defeated...

One of super mom's jobs is to keep all small ones out of her bed so that she does not get over run every night by small people in her bed...

Last night or I should say early this morning after my last post...I went back to bed after laying with Keenan in his... I had just gotten to sleep when I felt someone standing in the doorway... *sigh* my first defeat... fine get in here and lay down I said... Keenan runs in crawls up the bed... crawls under the covers between Shadow and I... I finally get Keenan to sleep... and I drift off to sleep... I could feel the bed shaking... I open my eyes and theres Gambit... shaking like no tomorrow... as soon as he saw that my eyes were open he lost what little composure he had left and started crying and shaking and quickly trying to explain why he was in my room... see even tho I'm super mom... you must remember that I have been super bitch longer... anyone who has ever tried to wake me up knows that... poor kid was trying to get the whole story out either before I realized what was going on or before I could start yellin at him for waking me up... poor kid... anyway... I lifted my arm up so he could crawl into the blankets too...
He was still shaking like a leaf in a wind storm... so I reassured him that he was fine and that he needed to relax or he would wake everyone else up...

so... I have a queen size bed... at the wall we had Shadow (who probably woke up this morning wondering what the fuck had happened) next to him was Keenan (who was sweating up a freaking storm) next to him was me (I hate being in the middle) and on the edge of the bed was Gambit (who woke up this morning probably with no covers)... all I have to say is it's a damn good thing the kids are skinny and that the man is smaller than me... cause damn I'm a thick chick...

Anyway... so I as super mom last night (early this morning) was defeated, for I could not keep the scaries away and everyone in their own beds...

On the work front... y'all can start asking me how I like the new job on Friday... Friday will be my first day on the phones... I'm in training until Thursday ;)

My training class is oh so huge as well... it's me and a girl named Linette... thats it... just two of us... and apparently we were told last night that we have one of the worst trainers... yay... Linette and I told each other and the guy who was telling us that we had the worst trainer that since it was the two of us we would ask a million questions to ensure that once we get on the floor we have no questions... (we'll still have question I'm sure of it) LOL...

Got a tour of the centre yesterday before training started... was wavin at everyone I knew... not that "sadistic valley girl oh my god I can't believe I saw you" wave... just a "hey yeah I'm actually here" kinda wave... or a head nod if they were on the phone... anyway seems there's not going to be anyone I know on my campaign... blah... that sucks... Linette and I were joking about how we would send emails back and forth to each other during work hours when we got bored... She seems like a really nice girl... I feel bad for her tho...she's from Port Colborne...

Anyway I'm trying to get these damn kids ready for when my mom gets here...it's not happening while I'm sitting here...

I went to bed early... had to revive a few people when I told them just after midnight that I was going to bed... Went to bed... fell asleep almost immediately... at some point I tried to roll over... I couldn't so I woke up to find out what had me pinned... it was the dead weight of a three year old laying with his bum between shadow and I and the length of his body across my chest... so I cuddled him up for a few minutes and then got him in my arms so I could carry him back to bed... somehow while trying to stand I got tangled in the blankets and my legs weren't quite awake and I plopped back down on the bed on my butt... how graceful... Kennan looked up at me and half giggled... so I went and put him back in his bed...
Went to the bathroom and went back to bed... was just about asleep when I fee; a little hand on my leg and a small child crawling back up the centre of the bed... I picked my head up and there he was again... this time he was laying on Shadow... so I sat up and whispered an explanation of it was the middle of the night and how he needed to go back to sleep...with thumb in mouth he nodded so I collected him in my arms again and stood up...a little more graceful this time... and took him back to his bed... turned on Tad his nighttime friend who plays sleepy music... and met Shadow on his way back to bed... apparently Keenan had been leaning on Shadow's bladder that time and woke Shadow up...
So I decided to have a smoke and write this in my blog before I go back to bed... in the hopes that sitting here having a cigarette will make me tired...
Oop just looked over my left shoulder and there's Keenan sitting on the floor of the kitchen... hmm time to pull out the big guns...
Blog ya later... *pulling out supermom cape and tights*

*grunt*...*mumble*...*sigh*

Well today is the day that my training starts at hell...

I have to be in training at 4pm and be there until midnight...
The problem that I'm wondering about is where the hell am I going to park??

I could try to park on the street but I could be driving around for an hour looking for a parking spot...which in turn of course would make me late for training...or I could take my mom's advice and park in the parking garage which is about two blocks away... however, downtown is not somewhere I want to be walking two blocks at midnight to a dark parking garage by myself...

I did have the thought tho...

I could go and park at the parking garage and then halfway thru training I'm assuming that since I'm going to be there for 8 hours I'm going to get a half hour lunch...and if I do I could go get the truck out of the garage at my lunch and pull it into a space out infront of hell... hmmm or into the market parking lot...

Gaww.... my brain hurts already and all I'm thinkin about is parking... sheesh... it's one of the disadvantages to hell being downtown... no friggin parking for the people who haven't gotten parking passes or bus passes yet... I have a feeling that after this week I'll probably have a couple parking tickets...

Anyway I'm off... gonna start some homemade soup that Shadow can feed the kids this week...

Enh...

Well as most know already as of Monday I am on my way to officially becoming a hell dweller...

I will be joining the ranks of many other hell dwellers... Shana, Shiney, Dan, Horhota, Shadow, Tray, Norm, Sophie, James, Joe, Gord, Dennis, Keebler and Tracey...

I always vowed I would never be a hell dweller... *sigh...hanging head* I'm not proud... I feel as if I've turned to prostitution by saying yes to the free ass reamings with sand lube that only hell can offer...

enh it's money...

nothing else really new...

not feeling very tormented or such right now...

I'm sure in due time there shall be stories of hell filling my blog and I apologize for them now in advance...

tired now...must sleep...

Have You Ever Wondered....(I Stole This >:) Thanks Tina)

Why Pencil eraser's are so Small?

Why pens became erasble?

What would have happened it you had been born to a different family?

What if I had skipped that one night on the net?

How Life would be without your Dearest Friends?

What it would be like to never meet a stranger?

What if I'm not good enough?

If all this IS really worth it?

Could life really be better, and what of our trials and tribulations?

If in pursuing your dreams, could you find the happiness, you've been told you deserve?

How do you Know what you deserve?

Has someone Ever written a book that will never be read? Or painted or drawn a picture that shall never be viewed?

If all was peaceful in the world, would someone pic a fight?

Can you really wake up one morning and have fallen out of Love?

If Loving someone hurts, Why do it?

If all you knew in life was Love, would you be Happy?

If a person is blind, how can they "see" things so well?

If I end this now, How long will you think about all this?

Why you sat there and answered some of the questions(to yourself or aloud), but, still won't comment?

This was food for thought. Tell me, Did it Work?

About Me...About You...

Here ya go another fill this out and send it back to me thingie...

Basics
------
What are you called by me:
How long have you known me:
If you're gonna lie, are you gonna to do your best to be creative:

What Would You Do If
------
I cried:
I said I liked you:
I kissed you:
I moved to the UK:
I started doing drugs:
I stole something:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I got into a fight with you:

What Do You Think About My
------
Personality:
Eyes:
Thumbs:
Hair:
Wrists:
Clothes:
Voice:
Humor:
Choice of music:
Mannerisms:
Family:

Would You
------
Be my friend:
Keep it real with me, no matter what:
Lie to make me feel better:
Spread rumors about me:
Keep a secret if I told you one:
Loan me some cash:
Hold my hand:
Take a bullet for me:
Call me once in a while:
Try and solve my problems:
Worship me:
Put this in your blog and see what I say about you?:

Stupid Interview For A Stupid Job I'd Be Stupid To Take...

So I got a rejection letter from "hell" the other day...oh well... no big deal I don't really wanna work there anyway...

Yesterday at 4 pm I get a call... Hi this is Rhonda from Hell would you still be interested in coming in for an interview?...um ok I was confused did I not just get rejected by them??

Apparently there was some sort of mix up... ok whatever sure I'll come in for an interview...Tomorrow??? gaww yeah ok I'll see if I can get a sitter since I have both boys this week... called my mom...woo hoo she didn't have to work... so she picked us up at about noon... dropped me outside of Hell... Shadow was on his lunch and downstairs waiting to escort me into the mouth of hell (the elevator)... he went to his lil hell cubicle and I sat and waited for one of satans minions named Jun... He walked me thru a part of hell I have not seen.... sat in a lil conference room and proceeded with the interview... why I would be a good person to hire for hell... blah blah blah...

got finished at about 1:30 pm (interview was for 1) then my own lil personal hell started...I had to wait for the bus...I sat there for 10 minutes psyching myself up for the trek home on the bus...bus comes... I get on and tell myself that I will not kill, maim or disfigure anyone while I'm riding on this bus...

and here I am... I don't want the job... so I figure I'll be getting a call probably Monday or Tuesday telling me when to come in to start training...

So I'll probably be changing from a Wife of a Hell Dweller to a Hell Dweller myself... *sigh* could be worse I guess... could be a job at Tim Horton's....

My Retarded Cat And His Bathroom Habit...

I'd like to know if my cat thinks I'm a retard or something...

everytime I get up to use the john the damn cat thinks that it's his job to escort me to the bathroom... so he runs in front of me...slows right down, keeps looking over his shoulder to make sure he's leading me in the right direction...when he realies that I am going to the bathroom... he lays down right infront of the toilet... looking up at me like "here ya go I got ya here safe and sound" and of course I look at him like "dude how am I supposed to sit on the can when yer in the way?" so I have to stand with my feet way far apart to keep from stepping on the damn cat which it's difficult to get your pants down when your standing with your feet more than shoulder width apart...so I sit down do whatever business needs to be down...wipe my butt...which at this point the cat is trying to attack the toilet paper in my hand thinking that it's attacking my fingers or something... so after shooing him away from my toilet paper... he sits back from me with a huffy look on his face...so I stand up fix myself...and turn to flush...which I can longer shut the lid before the flush because the damn cat jumps up on the edge of the toilet... so I flush and doesn't the stupid ass cat try to attack the swirling water...and of course the toilet paper that was apparently just attacking me... the last few time I've been able to manage getting the lid down as I stood up... but then he jumps onto the lid and tries to open it while he's standing on it... and then curls back up into a ball in front of the toilet. And doesn't escort me out of the bathroom...

A Friend Sent Me This Song Earlier...I liked it so here I share

Artist: Dave Matthews Band
Album: Busted Stuff
Title: Grey Street


Oh, just sitting while she listens
She says I don't need this place
It seems a million years she's stuck here
But says nothing of what she thinks

She thinks, "Hey,
How did I come to this?
I dreamt like anybody else one night
I would be a beautiful princess."

But then the roads in the park fall
And then she rode the line in
And the colors mix together to grey
And break me out

Oh, when I'm indifferent
She prays to God most every night
Although she swears He doesn't listen
There's hope in her that He just might

She says, "I pray
But then my prayer fall on deaf ears
I'm supposed to take it all myself
To get out of this place."

She feels the lumps in the heart fall
And she rose up in the back
She hears the cars scream out from outside
And she whispers sometimes about this
But the colors mix together to grey
And wake me up

Oh, he grows up living
He says take what you can from your dreams

Make them real as anything
It takes the work out of the courage

She said, "Please,
There's a crazy man standing outside my door
I live on the corner of a dead end street
At the end of the world."

Oh, and the rocks out in the heart fall
And she dreams her way to life
And she knows no one will lift her
So she might as well do it herself

And then bummed out and worried
Of leaving city life
But all the colors mix together to grey
On Grey Street
On Grey Street
To Grey Street

Oh, when it comes down in your loving
Oh, well then baby it's right
You say you think you are nothing
No one else will do it for you
Reach up and grab hold of the sunlight
When you are waiting for what's right
You're holding on your Heaven
Won't leave you, yeah, yeah...

And the colors mix together to grey
Wake me up, wake me up, wake me up
To grey.

Teachers and Students...

At what point does the teacher step back and let the student go on their own and stop critisizing the student and judging them? Does that ever happen or does it always stay a teacher/student relationship? what if there was no student/teacher relationship before hand and they were relatives or friends, will it go back to that or will it stay as a teacher/student?

Does the teacher not realize that they could learn just as much from the student as the student is from the teacher? Does the teacher get a complex after the teachings that they think they now have to constantly teach it to everyone?
Does the teacher think that just because they taught it once they will never have to keep up to date with it?

To teach or not to teach...

hmmm??

Regarding the last comment posted...

BA HA HA HA HA HA....

*ahem*

No Red Clover is not my father... Red Clover is a friend of mine that I met at least a year ago on yahoo... She is a wonderful woman and a single mother of a wonderfuul little boy.