*warning-probably going to be really fragmented*

New moon tonight... ritual time... woo hoo... a private ritual...because yes as you all remember from my last entry... no Shadow tonight til 11pm... good thing too... Mr Shadow is quitting smoking again for the new moon for the moonth... *sigh* I hate when he does this... he's usually moody... So yes as I was saying... private ritual tonight... that gives me a nice warm fuzzy feeling...

You know that cliche "it's best to love and lost then not to have loved at all" yeah thats fucking bullshit... I hate cliches... they're almost never true... at least not for me... I had to part with two items today... both made of metal... both dear to me in their own way... made me cry... oh well... you know the saying "it's in the mail" well today it literally is... he asked for the key back.. so I sent the key and the ring... in return I asked for my heart and my sex drive back... LOL sounds funny...but... *sigh* anyway...

Shadow had bought me a couple weeks ago a body spray from some girl at work... *Roll eyes* oy vey... this shit stinks... there is no nice way to say it... it's SUPPOSED to smell like Dragons Blood ....mmm... I smell I absolutely love.... Yeah right...this shit stinks like skin so soft mosquito repellant... obviously when you're used to working with pure resin and extremely high quality oils.. when you get something like this that is SO obviously an inferior product it's gonna suck... *sigh* needless to say I won't be using it as a body spary thats for sure... and he is SO not buying any more of their products...

Talking about smells...

I unpacked a box today that had a lot of my incense in it... powdered and stick... when the shop was open and I used to go to it all the time... I had overdosed myself on Nag Champa... to the point where the smell of it would make me want to vomit... I found a half used box of it in the bottom of this box... and at first I looked at it sideways.. becuase of the reaction I had gotten used of my stomach turning and what not... anyway... I inhaled the smell of it... and it brought back a bunch of old memories... so I decided to light some up... don't worry about me tho..I'm not dumb enough to make myself sick of it again... LOL

I miss my pagan brothers and sisters on occasion... I wish we could get together like we used to... too bad that theres politics in every community... *sigh* Sorry Tamara I tried... I really did... oh well such is life... remember change is the only constant...

I picked a couple of lilac blossoms on my way back up the stairs after sending the letter... I put them in one of my winnie the pooh dixie cups with some water... I made a good choice with the dixie cup... it's a picture of Tigger deep in thought...it's very cute... but is also very much like me... anyway... every so often the breeze comes thru the window and blows just a hint of the smell of the lilacs at me... it's very nice... (it's a good thing I was burning the Nag Champa in the kitchen) LOL don't think the two smells would go together very well...

It's funny how one grows out of different kinds of music... and then when they find it again...they think why did I stop listening to this...

My Crystals and Magick things are taking a lovely little sun bath in the window... they are loving being out of the stupid boxes...

I'm running low on cigarettes.... grrr I hate when that happens...

guess I should go find something for myself for dinner...