Warning this is gonna get long...

What happens when you cram 5 adults, 2 children, a dog, 3 tents, three air mattresses, a bag of outdoor toys, 7 lawnchairs, a cooler and a piece of luggage for each person into a 7 seater mini van???

Well if it's my family you get a rocky start, a rocky finish and one helluva party in between...

When going away on a weekend excursion with my mom driving she's either early and pissed because you're not ready or late and pissed because we're all late.
Sounds frustrating doesn't it? enh... That's my mom... after 25 years I've gotten used to it...

So which was it for this past outing? well it was the latter of the two...late and pissed...

Sis calls at at around 6:30 am (we weren't awake since we weren't getting picked up until 8 am) She leaves a message sounding a little pissed saying that they would be here (our house) at 9 am... Be Ready.

So I roll outta bed at 8:49 am...
I pack Keenan's bag, my/Shadow's stuff, a bit for Gambit, get dressed, get clothes out for Keenan, get my teeth brushed, pack snacks and toys for the kids all by about 9:05 am (sometimes I impress even myself)
So Keenan, Shadow and I are all sitting on the stoop (after lugging everything outside that had to go with us) waiting for Grandma, Sis and BIL...
finally they come pulling into the driveway at...oh...10 o'clock or so...uh huh...we had been ready and waiting...And damnit they had the dog with them...
(Now don't get me wrong, I love Otis...but when he gets into a car he turns into the demon dog that never sits down)

Anyway, Shadow and BIL readjusted everything on the roof so that all our stuff that could go up there would fit. I think after Sis and mom's ... oh so helpful.... supervision we finally hit the road at 11 am....stopped once to feed the kids lunch.

I was bored and Shadow wasn't getting annoyed with me bugging him... where's the fun in annoying someone if they don't get annoyed???

I was ready to kill the kids... Keenan thought it was a good idea to turn my seat into a massage chair by using his feet, and Gambit thought it was quite amusing to tease the fuck out of Keenan.

Of course BIL who was sitting beside Gambit was "sleeping" (either that man can sleep thru anything and not sound like a chainsaw in the car like he does in the house OR he was pretending) and not helping as always ( I swear that man is as useful as tits on a bull...which is funny since he's a Taurus)...I digress

Anyway, I made a sign in my notebook that said "TAKE ME WITH YOU!! Please!!!" and as we were driving down the 403 I would press a sad face up to the window on the drivers side of the middle window with my sign beside my face as we passed cars.

It was interesting to see the different reactions I got from it.

Picture this if ya will;
You're pulling up next to a small grey plymouth voyager seven seater van, luggage rack on the top full of what looks like camping stuff, the back window completely blocked by bedding and pillows, glancing over into the back seat you see two kids trying to kill each other and a sleeping neanderthal, thru the middle window you see this blonde girl with pigtails and sad eyes holding up a sign that says "TAKE ME WITH YOU!! Please!!!" sitting beside her is a long haired man with an evil looking goatee and moustache reading a book with some dude with a sword in his hands on the front, thru the drivers window ya see in the passenger seat an overweight female Elvis impersonator holding in her lap a black and white rat impersonating a dog and finally behind the wheel is a normal looking middle aged women with blonde pigtails, but she turns to take a quick look at you and you realize that she is wearing rather strange looking sunglasses that make her look like she has two huge bug eyes. Seriously what would you're reaction be?

Some people were confused, others just rolled their eyes, others just looked away but most laughed their fucking asses off.

We ended up playing highway leap frog with this guy from New York. Everytime he passed us or vice versa we would dance, smile, wave and once I played peek-a-boo with him. This of course is how I like to amuse myself on roadtrips...by playing with others in other vehicles...I figure it might just amuse them as well...

Ok so four hours later we arrive at our destination....Chatham
Why were we going to Chatham you ask...my mom's cousin and her husband live out there and every year they have a huge outdoor bbq/pigroast/party and we have never been able to make it before... Mike and Heather are the bomb... they have a huge yard...there was probably at least 100 people there at the peak of the party... and one thing I absolutely love about my mom's side of the family...at least that part...is they are musically inclined... before dinner Mike and some of his buddies were up on the patio playing some good tunes, some old rock n roll... ZZ Top, CCR stuff like that... then they also had a band there who came up and did some stuff from Hootie and the Blowfish and some Tragically Hip...among some other stuff... there were other kids there so we didn't have to entertain my kids too much...I got to see some family members that I only normally see once a year...I was actually able to sit down with them and have a conversation with them... I got to beat up a kid I've disliked since the day he was born...LMFAO...ok I didn't actually beat the kid up...I tackled a group of four kids when the football landed near me and I went after the ball...I tackled them...the kid I dislike was one of them....the other three got up and were laughing and joking around cause it was funny...the fourth one (still the kid I don't like) was rolling around on the ground whining and crying...there was a group of guys who had been watching and one of them yelled over "theres no crying in football, walk it off"....LOL...I was nice enough to apologize to the kid, help him up and make sure he could walk...fucking whiner....

the food was fucking awesome...the fire was great...the music was fantastic...

I hadn't heard Roland or Bobby sing in ages...it was so nice to hear them singing and playing again...

It was nice to be able to party have a good time and not have to drink to do it....mind you a lot of people were drinking but I wasn't one of them nor was Shadow...I just can't get drunk when I'm in a strange place with my kids are there...not that I want to be ;) they were all still singing and playing music when I went to bed in the tent at 3 am.

Anyway...Sunday morning we get up and start packing...and there started the rocky finish...LOL... Sis is a Taurus/Aries cusp baby, BIL is a Taurus/Aries cusp baby, Shadow is a Taurus, Mom is an Aquarius, Gambit is a Pisces, Keenan is an Aries and Me...I'm a Virgo/Libra cusp baby....needless to say with the first three around there is always a lot of BULLshit flying around... anyway when those four start trying to do something together (in this case packing a van) I become scarce....anyway...we stuck around for brunch but then got on the road home...

Nothing eventful happened on the way home cause I was sleeping off and on....and when I was awake I started writing this blog in my notebook....