Happy New Years Eve...Fuckers!!

thats right it's not the new year yet...so get over ya selves :P

so today is the day where everyone reflect on the past year... and every station or channel has a top "whatever number" of 2005....

So I thought what the fuck why not have my own Top "Whatever Number It Gets Too" Moments/Memories Of 2005...
we'll discover the worst and best... why not...

1. Starting off the new year dancing in the middle of a dance floor with my man... having everyone yell happy new year... and we continue dancing and kissing on the dance floor like no one else in that ballroom existed.

2. Realizing that my 8yr old is not a my lil baby anymore, when he decides he doesn't want a birthday party with a bunch of kids, just wants to go to the movies with a friend.

3. Walking my 4 yr old to his first day of school trying to convince him and me that everyone would like him just fine and that everything was going to be ok, And then after dropping him off crying all the way home because I'm still not convinced.

4. All the tickle fights on the weekends with the whole family on my bed.

5. Finding out that my heart condition must obviously be getting worse as time goes by. Since I don't have the energy I used to, and the SVT episodes are becoming more frequent and longer each time.

6. Finding out that I'm not as forgettable as I thought I was. After not having a computer for months, having a warm welcome from all the friends that missed me while I was gone.

7. Quit smoking! (yes thank you thank you no applause just money)

8. Made a couple of new friends! Kept a couple of the old ones ;)

9. Got a car... even if it is a piece of shite!

10. My father came to visit me.

11. Got disappointed by a bunch of my friends on my birthday...all I can say about that is... Family. Blood is truly thicker than water ;)

12. Got to watch a hockey game (actually two in one night) with my Krammit for the first time !! (doubt she'll wanna do that again...*evil giggle*)

13. Decided that there were a couple of people that I didn't have to deal with, no matter how many people told me I did :D

14. Talked to a very good friend on the phone for a couple of hours and for once was not worried about the cost.

15. Going to Medieval Times for Sis and Raistlans birthday... and actually being able to keep it a surprise :)

16. Finding out that my Sis loves me so much that for my christmas present she's taking my mom and I to Cuba for a week long vacation ;)

17. Finding out that a very good friend of mine landed a job in Switzerland... after working in England for three years... Good Luck Squasha!!

18. Finding out that Moonie and Chris could finally get engaged....then hearing that they did officially get engaged.

Theres probably a whole lot more... but I haven't slept in what has felt like days... so thats the list ya get... If I think of anymore I might post them in here... but who knows...

this will be my very last post.....

of this year....

Another year has gone by... and while its been going its seemed as slow as molasses in January... but damn now that I'm sitting here watching the snow dumping down I realize that it did go by kind of fast....

I hope you can sit down for a few moments sometime today and reflect on your year that just zoomed by... maybe take a couple of notes about it... that way when you're old and gray... you can go back and remember them all over again...

For all my friends - may you have a wonderful new year!
For those I Love - I don't tell you nearly enough how much I appreciate and love you ;)
For my enemies - I hope when you get into a snowball fight the yellow one lands right in your mouth.
For my arch nemesis - Don't think I don't know what you said about me! I'm coming for you!!
For the people I don't know who read this - Have a safe New Years Eve celebration... and Have a good year... cause they're good tires ;)

By The Way.... never make new years resolutions... why in the hell would you want to start off a new year lying to yourself ;)

hmm...I have more to say but it doesn't deal with thise topic....hmm ok running over to my dead journal then to post that ;)

Happy New Years Eve Fuckers ;)

Half Nekkid Thursday

Yep its that time of the week again... Half Nekkid Thursday... not much to say about it today...



just took this picture the other day..

I have so much to say... yet at the same time I don't feel like I have the time to say everything... then I started to wonder well... even if I do put all of what I'm thinking down... who's really gonna care... some of my blog entries are so cryptic... because it needs to be said but I try to hide who I'm talking about so that I don't lose any friends... or so that I don't have to face the rejection... when I love I love hard and that is kind of a bad thing... and frankly it scares people... it's not the love where I want to marry the people or even be committed to them... I love them as my friends... but even that love is very aggressive... territorial... borderline obsessive... and because I can be so out there with it... and yet so reserved about it... people don't know...

You have to get the balls to say HEY... this is how I feel about you....but don't take it the wrong way...

Too many linear thinkers... too many people thinking narrow mindedly....

did you ever wish you had a big rewind button... so you could push it... go back to certain scenarios and do them over the way you want too... how you would havekissed him before he left... how you wish you had of told her you loved her before she got on the train.... how you would've taken that punch you planted on his face back.... how you would have kissed him before he left like you wanted...

sometimes people open up at just the right time... and then they feel freer for expressing themselves rather than keeping it bottled inside and constantly wondering....

expression through words... people can talk and talk and talk and never say anything... and when it comes time to say something important ...they can't think of the words to use... words... they're so easy... you have been learning all about them from the time you were 3 ... try and express how you love someone without simply saying the words I Love You... describe the feeling of Love...

See I have a confession to make... I'm one of these people that can go on talking forever about everything... yet ask me to describe my feelings about someone who is dear too me... I choke... I can't do it.. I've tried... and I can't do it... it ends up sounding whiney... yes even when its typed in an email... so how do you tell someone you love them without scaring them?
How do you tell the partner you're with I Love You everyday without it starting to seem old... like you need to find a new way to say it... even tho those 3 lil words are the ones that sum it up best...

And who cares who you love... just love them with all you're might...and tell them often how you feel... if they can't handle it... fuck them... then they didn't love you... isn't it best to find out sooner rather than later...

Love isn't just something that lovers do....

Happy Boxing Day Fuckers!

Yes it's Boxing Day... it's that day where all the stores open their doors back up and you box your way into them for huge sales and the exchanging of the stuff that you didn't like... huge huge huge day here... kinda like that whole black friday thing in the states...talking about black... I found out just how racist my grandfather is today...(fuckin asshat)
He says today... hey today is Black Monday.... umm ok silence falls over the room... I'm thinking ok maybe because it's like black friday in the states where a lot of shopping is done blah blah blah... nope... I could only wish... nope he meant it as... it was the blacks holiday... I said...huh? you mean Kwanzaa? oh yeah yeah thats it... Its the blacks holiday now... (hang head in shame... thinking Gawd how can I be related to him)... I said.. well actually its the first day of Chanukah I believe... then out it comes... well there are more religions and holidays out there then you are aware of apparently. (How can I possibly be related to these people!!??)

Apparently the holiday brings out the prejudice in people... observe...
Mom- "I don't know why it is Elton John got married to THAT man"
Me- "maybe because they've been together for something like 14 years or something like that"
Sis- "What's even worse is the guys a Canadian"
Me- "oh my fucking God... did you just say that's the worst part??....no the worst part is that it took so long for the UK to ok same sex marriages you fucking racists"
they looked horrified... but why I was the one that actually was... I mean c'mon people!!

Christmas Eve- went down to my mom's house... had the traditional christmas eve dinner... Cream of Mushroom Soup and Grilled Cheese Sandwiches :D wrapped some last minute gifts... watched some classic Christmas movies...put the kids to bed... then Santa came...

Christmas Morning- couldn't sleep on the floor so I ended up... wait ok lemme start from the beginning... Mom was going to sleep in her huge bed with the two boys, B-i-L was going to sleep with my sis and Raistlan and I were gonna sleep on a foam mat on the floor... so mom didn't feel well so she slept on the couch the two boys were in her bed and the B-i-L was in bed with my sis and Raistlan and I were on the floor... I couldn't sleep on the floor (hurt my back) so I slipped into mom's bed with the two boys and fell fast asleep... I woke up looked at the clock and it said 8am... wtf?? and we were all still in bed... I woke up the kids... told them to go wake up Daddy and Auntie... so out we went and opened up all the gifts when everyone got out to the livingroom...
and then I had to wait for my born-again Christian grandmother and her husband to come for dinner... you know the one that I've told several times that I am not Christian and please don't push your beliefs on me... so she buys my children nothing but religious stuff for every holiday...
dinner was great... tasted yummy... and grandma got bearable after 3 glasses of wine and 3 beer...

So pretty much this year I learned that Christmas is what YOU make of it... and its great if you remember the great things...like the way the kids faces light up after unwrapping there star wars light sabres... or the way your husband smiles when he opens his brand new telescope... or the way your mom almost cries when she sees all the cool horse stuff she got...
OR
you can remember all the crappy stuff and consider it a crappy christmas and remember... the way your sister didn't respect your husbands authority when discplining the kids when they got unruly... or the way your mother gets snotty when she forgets what you told her ten minutes ago and you try to tell her that you just told her ten minutes ago... or how your brother-in-law (B-i-L) ate all the peanut butterballs you made for your sister and she's now on a rampage and spreading her grumpiness...

So I've decided that with all the good came a whole bunch of not so pleasent... but I'm going to remember the good ;) especially the ones of the kids opening their presents :D

Talking of Presents... this christmas was the year of the monkey... woo hoo
I got a bunch of monkeys sitting in a circle around a candle...just monkeying around... and I got monkey socks..they're cute.. Gambit took a pic of them... after we get them developed I'll have to post them... I got three pairs of toe socks (the monkey socks were toe socks), couple pairs of one piece pj's... I love one piece pj's :D, some really nice earrings... some makeup (they always restock my supply a bit at christmas), monkey boxers :D Boots that go up to my knees... a scarf, a poker set, a set of snowglobes...they are so cute, couple of books, and some other lil stocking stuffer stuff.... can't remember right now...

So... Happy Boxing Day Fuckers... Happy Birthday to those who happy to be unfortunate enough to be born around this time of year... Happy New Years... Happy Anniversary to those who were silly enough to get married during the holidays... Happy Divorce to those who are getting them... Merry Christmas... Happy Kwanzaa... Happy Chanukah... and to any other religions.... Happy Holiday to you as well...

Is that politically correct enough for you uppity stuck up fuckers....
Anyway.. Hope you had a good holiday... what'd you do?

Half Nekkid Thursday

I decided that for half nekkid Thursday I would post a pic where I looked all dressed up.... Here's a pic of me and my Krammit at her wedding... Awww she looked so purty that day... *sniff sniff*

And you actually get to see my nekkid arm... so be happy with that :P




So I'm supposed to be wrapping presents... the last of them... and I'm annoyed because there was still a couple of types of cookies I still wanted to bake... and haven't finished...

My sister came by and saw the snowman jar candles I made and thought they were so cute she commisioned me to make two more by this weekend...
Yeah I neglected to tell her that it took me about 3 1/2 days to actually make the ones I had already made...

So yeah I've been doing those rather than the other stuff.. lol and of course I take way too many breaks ... lol

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I hope everyone has a great holiday... if I don't see you or post before christmas day....
thats a laugh ya know I'll post something tomorrow...

Where Are You? Stop Kicking And Screaming! You're Not Listening!!!

So I had this post over on my deadjournal... and I figured we'd get a conversation going in my comments if I posted the link here so y'all could read it...

If You Can't Be With The One You Love, Then Love The One You're With... Or Fuck The One You're With

Wow that title was longer then I thought it was ... lmao

Skyye and Anna seemed to agree with the post ;)

Don’t Hide Away Like An Ocean, But You Can See, But You Can Smell And The Sound

have you ever written a letter/email that you knew you would never send to the person it was addressed to...

for whatever reason... it was too "deep" for them to handle... you don't know how they'll take it... you don't want to express that much to them... don't want to hurt their feelings...

for whatever reason you don't send it...

yeah I wrote one of those today... ya know "they" (the infamous they) say write the letter it'll make you feel better... didn't make me feel better it made me wonder... you know the wonderful "what if" game...

bah humbug... welcome to monday...

"If along the way, you are growing weary
You can rest with me until a brighter day
I am no superman, that’s for sure
And I have no answers, yeah
I am no hero, oh don’t you know~
But I do know one thing,
Where you are is where I belong
Where you go, I do know, is where I belong"

Half Nekkid Thursday

Ok so would you give a ticket to a woman driving around town like this? seriously....
Did you know that where I live it's legal for women to go topless? I swear to God I shit you not...it really is... a woman who lives a couple of hours away from me fought for the right for women to go topless if they want too... and won.
I always thought that blogs should be educational... :D

So I went to the dentist the other day...got a wisdom tooth pulled and two fillings... omg my face hurts... I have my trusty T3's... which I have no faith in the pharmacist anymore... I walked up to the counter and said "does this have any sort of stimulant in this...?" he replies with "nope they don't just... codiene and tylenol"...I get home and read the lil paper that comes with all medications... yeah it says codiene, big long ass word for tylenol and caffiene....oh I'm sorry but correct me if I'm wrong but isn't caffiene a fucking stimulant??? people get hopped up on caffiene all the time... Gawww... so I shouldn't be taking the T3's because of the caffiene... but ya know what... fuck that my face is killing me... shut up I hear you out there "yeah it's killing us too"....

I have to go to the doctors tomorrow and get my paperwork for work filled out... I'll be taking a medical leave from work... for a lil while... then I have to go to the dentist again in January after the holiday break... and then Cuba... and then surgeon... wow I have stuff I can write down in the new date book I won tonight... ha ha theres a story...

I went to my sisters christmas party with her tonight and we had to sit through all kinds of boring shite... they were about to do another round of door prizes... and I said (to no one inparticular) 660 is gonna win (that was my number) sure as shit they called my number... freaked out my sisters friend next to me...(I wish people would get it already..I'm psychic... geez) so I go up to the stage.. get my present (it was wrapped) I take it back to the table and rip the paper off the top of the box...I see this business card on the end of the box that has some name on it and a fire extinguisher...I say... hey I won a fire extinguisher...they all laugh... and I continue unwrapping this box.. and sure as shit its an actual fire extinguisher...I'm like WTF??? everyone at the table was just as stunned as I was... I was just commenting the other day that it seems like if I win I always get a bottle of wine (what can I say I live in wine country)...this is the first time I can honestly say that I won a fire extinguisher... (lmao) attached to the box was a datebook and a pen from the same company that donated the fire extinguisher...

And you can't prove thats a pic of me :P
9 frickin days to go... Fuck!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMIE!!!!

Of All My Twisted Dreams, But This Cheap Investigation Just Can't Stifle All My Screams

I just woke up from a drug induced coma... omg I've never slept so deep... but the reason I'm writing about it is I had the strangest dream... THE strangest dream...

This guy shows up at my mothers house when I just happen to be there... he knew about how ya had to come to the back door and pretty much let yourself in... he let himself in and it was only me in the house...not even any kids there (woo hoo) I was in a night gown (odd since I sleep naked...yeah I know TMI) it was a very short night gown... anyway... I was shocked to see him... to say the least... (not gonna go into details about him... y'all pretty much know who it is) he said he would never come here... but there he was... which was odd he was almost as shocked to see me as I was to see him... I did the normal ask him what the fuck he's doing here... anyway seems he came to pick something up... yeah because he would travel that far to just pick something up... so I figured ok now was the time to ask him a few things that I've wanted to ask him... so I started with the questions and when I got to the "uncomfortable" ones he said he had to go... so I walked him to the door and said "see ya" and shut the door... I went to get changed into some normal clothes... and I heard the door behind me.. it was Keenan... I spun around to see my mom had come home and she had Keenan... she looked at me with the utmost look of anger on her face and said "where is he?" so I explained that he had just walked out the door she walked in... and how she should have passed him... so we looked out the window... he apparently had been driving a brand new truck, black and for some reason it was towing a smaller black truck... he was out there trying to shovel the truck out... mom was freaking out because the driveway was just a stone driveway and he was starting to dig a hole in it... so I ran out the front door (I was halfway done changing so I was in my bra and my jeans) and I started yelling to him that he couldn't do that... I moved my mom's van so that he could get out... and turned and went in the house... my family got ready and left to go to our christmas celebration... he showed up there... (wtf??...ok he doesn't even know where they live in real life... but anyway) he was invited in by one of my aunts... I came down the stairs and saw him sitting there... and I wanted to smack him... he completely ignored me several times when I asked him what the fuck he was doing there... my family started in in our celebrations... we danced to old polka tunes... we sang... we laughed... we all played games... and he was there... he was participating in all of it... (even in the dream I was thoroughly confused) I asked him all kinds of things.. about the kids and what not and asked him what his big problem was with a certain situation... and the response was "just cause" ... and then the phone rang and woke me up...

maybe I'll take a nap later and try to figure out what the fuck that dream was all about... but right now my face is killing me and I have to walk midget to school...

oh why is my face killing me... for those who aren't on my yahoo list... yesterday I went to the dentist... got a partial cleaning in the right top quadrant of my mouth...also got two fillings and had an extraction done... yes that means he pulled one of those fuckers... it was one of my wisdom teeth... and fuck does my face hurt now...

ta ta fer now...

Sun, Fun, Passport.....Health Card??

I have a date!

well sort of...

I have an appointment in Toronto on Wednesday January 25th starting at noon... I say starting because there's a bunch of shite that I have to do...I have to go to the diagnostic centre...to do an ecg...then I have to go to admitting and get a hospital card then I have to go and meet my doctor... Dr L Harris (female btw)

after talking to the receptionist at the cardiologists office I cried...

scary... because now its getting closer... happy... because now its getting closer...

I'm still a lil stunned... I'll post more later...

On The Road Again...I Just Can't Wait To Get On The Road Again...

So it seems that the funniest entry for the week was done by Bone ;)
congrats... you won the goldplated kewpie doll... ok no not really... you just win the knowledge that your entry was loved more then everyone elses... :D

(when reading this remember that the passport office closes at 4:30pm and I left the house at 3:30pm.)
ok so I went to get my passport on Monday... drove downtown... went into the MTO building up to the 9th floor... nope it's not up there... went back down to the lobby... asked where the passport office is... ends up its not in the MTO building on St Paul St it's on Church St... oy ve... get into the car drive around the corner to Church St... run inside find out that its on the 6th floor... take the elevator up to the sixth floor... go into the passport office... YAY... no one's in there...no lines... take a number... go to the window... hand her all my info... "do you have your birth certificate?"...."Shit!...no I didn't realize I needed it...what time do you close?" ....."Well its 4now so in a half hour"... I go running out of the office... take the elevator down the 6 floors run across the street get into the car...throw the envelope of info at Raistlan... (now normally at 4 in the afternoon in downtown...you would never get back to the apartment and then back again within a half an hour) I was determined to get the damn passport handed in that day... I jumped on the 406 and proceeded to break almost every traffic law known to man... Raistlan ran upstairs got my id... I then again sped all the way back downtown again... parked infront of the building on church st.... ran in... got in the elevator and when I got down the hall into the passpoprt office... they were counting their tills and checkin the receipts for the day.. I glanced at my watch it was 4:20pm...whew... walked up to the window and took care of getting my passport paid for... whew... and now I have the ugliest passport photo... I didn't mind the photo I had before....
But what the fuck is with not smiling in your passport photo... I'm a smiley kinda person... and you want me to look "natural" in my photo... then let me smile damnit!! it looks like a frigging mugshot.... *Sigh*


The coloured one is my old passport photo... the black and white one is the new one...
Man I'm such a fat head... I can't believe I'm posting this for anyone too see... I was 16 in the coloured one..you know ...before two kids, before a man and before I became lazy.... now you know why I'm a fat head... lmao

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

Welcome to my very first "Half Nekkid Thursday" post... I came across this while blog surfing one day.... if ya wanna read the guidlines and maybe participate.... go over there ---->
and click on HNT- Half Nekkid Thursday little button.... So in the spirit of HNT I had to rummage through my pics to find one for my post today...

So thats the one I decided to bust my HNT cherry on...

So I've thought of some "homemade" ideas for christmas... see the spirit starts to come back eventually.... it might actually be all the way back by 24th :P anyway... so I came up with a couple of ideas... first one being tins of cookies... let me rephrase that... tins of homemade cookies made by me next weekend :D I'm gonna be up to my armpits in flour next weekend... anyway... we also have these interesting peanut jars...they're in the shape of this guy...you know Mr Peanut anyway... but if you take the labels off and paint them white... ta daa you have a snow man... which is great that it already comes with a top hat :) anyway so I'm gonna paint the jars and then turn them into candles :D
Anyway...and I thought I might put together a cd of pics of the family... not me naked ya big pervs... tho if you'd like to donate some money over there ---> we could discuss that option...

WHAT?? oh its not that bad :P
People have done worse for less :P

Anyway... I have to go and hunt down my laundry in Niagara Falls now... See Ya Later :D

Tis The Season To Be Jolly....

So we made it to the front page of the newspaper... and no it wasn't because I finally snapped and murdered everyone in sight... it's actually because of this party I've been planning for the community.... Woot Woot!!! Frontpage... I think I need to buy more stuff...
I'm glad I was far away from the camera... lol

Look For The Girl With The Sun In Her Eyes, And She's Gone

Ok haven't done this in awhile.. but its Monday sooo...
Which will be the funniest blog entry this week??

Whoda at Woulda Coulda Shoulda

OR

Aka_monty at The Daily Bitch
(the December 4th post)

OR

Red at Letters To Nowhere

OR

Bone at If You Only Read One Blog This Year

So just let us know which one you think is the funniest post thus far this week and post it in the comment section... C'mon stop being so lazy... :P

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Every so often I sit and think about what I'd like to be when I grow up... and I say sometimes I come up with some of the weirdest ideas...
a baker (love decorating cakes well and baking),
window dresser (that hit me while I was decorating the tree with the kids),
personal stylist (well... only cause I love shopping..and damn some people just don't have any style...coughmymomcough),
a coach (doesn't matter what sport, when I'm on the sidelines I'm smarter than any coach on the field),
interior designer,
fashion designer,
web designer (I don't know where that one came from, I can barely add shite to my blog template),
school teacher (I must've been smoking a whole lotta dope for that one, I hate other peoples kids, well unless the parents are cool...),
chef (only because I love cooking...well and eating good food),
proof reader (I used to do that and now it's just habit to find the mistakes in anything written),
breeder (birds, dogs, cats didn't seem to matter... no I don't have any weird fasinations with animals doing it)

Well thats just the list from this weekend... lol the one main thing that seems to run through most of those...the one thing that sorta links them all... creativity... hmmm

I decided tho what it is that I actually want to do... problem is schooling... a youth counsellor... stop fuckin snickering :P .... seriously... I've done just about it all... I can be the one to tell them how stupid it truly is... hell I already do... I have a gazillion cousins all younger then me (except one)...

story time...
I have an aunt that lives out west...was catching up with her on the phone one christmas a couple of years ago... she was telling me about my cousins drug problem... I stood there shaking my head... lord knows I've done almost every drug to man... she was really upset... and asked me if I'd speak to him... I'm thinking what the fuck am I supposed to say to him especially since I was a few hundred miles away... but it was my aunt.. I love her... she housed me for six months.. so I said alright... talked to him on the phone... told him what kinds of things happened with me... and then I explained to him that the drug he was addicted to wasn't even something natural like pot... it was acid/lsd... it was nothing but a combination of chemicals... then I told him what some of the chemicals were... and shocked the fuck out of him... heard from my aunt 6 months after that conversation and she had informed me that my cousin was in rehab... and he had told her that everytime he went to drop another hit of acid he couldn't help but think about what was in it... she thanked me profusely... I really didn't think I had gotten anything thru to him on that phone call...

so yeah a counsellor who specializes in working with youth would be ideal...

I'll Trade You A Wise Man And A Donkey For The Baby Jesus...

that is what I over heard today while sitting here at my desk....

I walked very quietly into my kitchen and hid in the kids doorway, peeked over the microwave and I see that the kids have stopped decorating the tree... they found the little tiny nativity scene that was gifted to me years ago... each one of them had a couple in each hand... and theres Gambit standing there with a wiseman and a donkey in one hand following his brother around saying "I'll trade ya a wiseman and a donkey for the baby jesus".... well damn if I didn't start laughing my ass off... so I told them to play nicely with them and walked out thinking nothing of it....

sitting back at my computer working on some stuff (read that to say chatting) and all of a sudden I hear....

"angels aren't evil!"

my ear perks and turns toward the kitchen... (moms ears do that didn't you know) up I get back to my peekin spot... theres Keenan with the nativity scene lil angel and the baby jesus in one hand waving it above his had making evil laughing sounds... Gambit turns to me and says "Mom the angel is not evil right?" and hmm and ha should I get into a semi religious conversation with the kids...nah... so I say... "can be" Keenan... "see the evil angel came down and is kidnappin baby jesus and taking him away"

somehow...somewhere I knew... deep in the pit of my stomach... I didn't want to acknowledge it... but... a wave came across and smacked me in the face ... and said "You're going to HELL! if you let them continue like this"

then like a light from yon window breaking... I thought "ba ha ha I'm not going to Hell... I don't even believe there is a hell outside of this what we live in right now"

Anyway... thats weird... lol

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so yes the tree got put up today... went and picked it up... and the kids decorated it... and then I fixed it... you know... taking 75% of the ornaments off the bottom right hand corner of the tree...and dispersing them all over the tree...

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So I had a breakdown the other day... ya know... crying and bitching and the ball of wax... I realized that I had no money... thats right... none...for christmas... for other people I don't care too much... other family members and what not aren't expecting anything... but I don't have enough money to buy the kids anything... I know that I shouldn't worry because they won't remember the presents in 20 years they'll remember how they felt on christmas day....
I just want to be able to walk into a store thats not a dollar store to buy the kids something that they actually want... *whew* ok got that out....

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So I think I'm gonna do some baking... I have to go through my books and find some good cookie recipies...

other than that... not much else to say... I'm taking my drugs like a good girl... and making sure I don't die... apparently dying is not allowed during the holiday season... looking at about six months still... alright it has now taken me a couple of hours to type this out.... damn I chat too much...

If I’m Sleeping, Don’t Wake Me Up, If I’m Sleeping, Leave Me Alone

Holy Crikey!! I actually slept through the night Yay!!



I got home from all that running around yesterday (no I didn't end up going to work...I was falling asleep while driving home...had to get Raistlan to take over) I got home and normally as soon as I get out of the car I'm wide awake again... not last night... brought everything and everyone up stairs... I sat down on the couch to finish watching survivor and promtly dozed right off...
Raistlan was making dinner... which the kids ended up not being hungry... so sent them to bed... I was still dozing... Raistlan finished up and we ate while I tried to watch the Apprentice... he was doing some stuff on the computer... I woke up to see that The Donald had fired two of them again... I sighed and asked Raistlan why he fired both of them... thank god he was semi listening to the tv... so...

At 10 o'clock Raistlan announced that he was going to bed... and started walking out of the livingroom... I started to stand andsaid... Hey I was waiting for you so we could go together... walked in the bedroom laid down and BOOM... I was asleep!!!

And I just woke up at 7:20am :D YaY!!

however....

Keenan made me sick so now I'm here coughing, sneezing and blowing my nose constantly... :(

**********edited in at 8:35am*********

Just went and checked out my site meter listings... found something really cool... it has a list of locations that have been to my blog... not just country and state/province... but the city as well... it's neat.... so just to show ya... here's a few that popped up on the most recent list of visitors list..

San Antonio, Texas
Montreal, Quebec
Peoria, Arizona
Seattle, Washington
Mountain Top, Pennsylvania
Euless, Texas
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Valdosta, Georgia
Charlotte, North Carolina
West Linn, Oregon
Nords Warf, New South Wales
Tallahassee, Florida
Shaw AFB, South Carolina
St Catharines, Ontario
Finksburg, Maryland
Hinsdale, Illinois
Santa Ana, California
Sumter, South Carolina
Addison, Illinois
Japan (doesn't specify where in)
Eufaula, Alabama
Surat, Gujarat (India)
Bedford Park, South Australia
Crystal Beach, Ontario

Thats just a few... come on people where are the comments from y'all :P
I also noticed that I don't have a lot of readers from my own country.... hmmm

You Spin Me Right Round Baby, Right Round...

Didn't realize there would be so much running around involved with planning a kids party...

have to leave soon to go get our picture taken for the newspaper... then have to run around dropping off letters for donations to different stores... drop the kidlette off at school ... he lucks out today... he has the people from Zooz coming into his school today... after we drop him off we'll probably do more running around... until I have to drop Raistlan off at either the apartment or Keenans school...depending how late it is... then I'm going out with Paulie ;) have to run to Costco and see if I can't find some sort of "Goodie" for Santa to hand out at the Party...

whew...

haven't seen paulie in what seems like months.... Yay I get to go shopping with Paulie :D

Then after shopping with Paulie I have to come and pick up Keenan and Raistlan and head down to Fort Erie to go to Gambits parent teacher interview... then I have to bring the three of them back here and I have to go to work...

how odd that the first time I'll be able to sit down and relax is at work... (which I'm gonna have to call in late for as it is)...

So here I go to start my day ;)

What Could Ya Do With A Drunken Hillbilly

ok so I called the doc today....

I'm pissed...

they sent my info to Hamilton rather then to Toronto... receptionist told me that she knows nothing about timeframes... and gave me the phone number to the Arrythmia Centre...

called the centre... first woman I talked to told me says "well darlin' you're not in the pile on my desk...I'll transfer you over to the other girl"

next woman (Diane) says... "I'm processing patients from September hun... when did your doctor send in your paperwork..."
Me "umm about a few weeks ago"
Diane "oh yeah hun I wouldn't have gotten to you yet"
Me "uh..."
Diane "your file gets assigned to a doctor, they assess it to see how urgent it is and then from there we assign you a date"
Me "and you're still processing people from september??"

Needless to say I was not a happy fucking camper...

I'll be calling my cardiologist tomorrow to have my stuff sent to Toronto where it was supposed to be sent the first time... whichever one calls me first and gives me a date first will be the one I'm gonna go with... fuckers

anyway...post more later

Make Up Your Mind and I'll Make Up Mine, Don't Worry About Me I'll Be Fine....

did you ever think that maybe I just needed somebody to talk to... did you ever think that me sending that message however weird it seemed... was me reaching out to talk to someone while I sat here alone at my desk... just listening to music and trying to drink myself into oblivion...

why at all would you think that.... because I'm the one that is usually cracking jokes and being there for everyone else... why in the hell would I need anybody right?

Thank you.... thank you for the big fat nothing... thanks for the support... the show of caring ... understanding... maybe some fucking empathy...

whatever... its alright... I just won't do it anymore... no more serious conversations... I'm fine your fine thats fucking fantastic...

Why should you care... no one ever asked you too... and you never said you would... I guess it was an assumption... I'm sorry I'll try not to make anymore...

I'm sorry if I inconvienced you in anyway...

You are one of the few people in this entire god forsaken place that I can talk to... about everything... anything... you have known about stuff that no one else has...

why do you keep me around? Do you need me for any part of your life? Do I fit into a category of any kind? Do I have anything thats unique to the others?

Money, Money, Money, Money....

Is there anyway to forget that you are an ordained minister??

Apparently there is... because I completely forgot that I did the course and got the letter... back in 2002... {wow so the people I've slept with since then can honestly say they've had sex with a minister... (lmfao)}

was cleaning out my desk the other night... and came across the letter that was sent to me that I could use as a reference... so hey thats cool...

what was that? oh... a minister with what church...? The Church Of Seven Planes... I fell in love with this organization because of the fact that their motto is... "One God...Many Names" and thats what I always taught (when I was still teaching)... tolerance is key. Just because someone doesn't call God the same name you do doesn't make them bad or wrong...

**************

I can't wait til you get here :P even if I only get to see ya for a couple hours :)

*************

Might write more if I find anything interesting...

Is There Anyone Out There Cause It’s Getting Harder And Harder To Breathe

So even tho its under warranty the muffler guy wouldn't look at the muffler system... fucker...
what the hell? I just wanted to know if they could put a clamp on it.. my junk is hangin a bit low (that would have sounded even more perverted if this was a guys blog)
dude told us to go get a full diagnostic done on the car... oh yeah sure... like thats cheap...

Drove to Raistlans dads house... he wasn't home... YaY! ... picked up a brake cap... yeah I think thats what it was...

Went to visit Jester... boy I've kinda missed him... he was good today... not as spacey as some days... anyway I'll see him again on Saturday...

went over to my mom's house.... no one was home... YaY! ... made a snack while I was there said hi to the dog...

was on our way home... decided to go to Krammit's house... it was like a test for Raistlan and I... I haven't had a cigarette in over 4 weeks... he hasn't had one for about 4 weeks... Krammit is a smoker...

We were there for about an hour or so... because I was supposed to go to work tonight... (little background info... I'm allergic to bun buns [bun buns = rabbits] when I was pregnant with Gambit I had a bun bun and after I gave birth to Gambit all of a sudden I was allergic )

Ok so not only is Krammit a smoker... but she has a bun bun... normally bun buns in small doses are ok.. they don't bother me... and normally smoke wouldn't either... but wow .... I got in the car and started heading home and all of a sudden I couldn't breathe... and my inhaler was at home...
(*rolling eyes* gawd... my inhaler... I feel like a fucking... well we won't go there) I had to stop in Welland and get Raistlan to drive because I was lulling in and out of focus and conciousness... lulled in and out all the way home... got home... got my inhaler and passed out... Raistlan called in for me...
two days... I am on the schedule for only two stinkin' days this week.. and I just called in sick for one of them... god... anyway... I'll probably go in tomorrow even tho I'm not scheduled... we need some spending money for yule (which is sneaking up way to quickly)

so I've spent the evening in bed... trying to feel better...

all of my insides are vibrating/shaking like you wouldn't believe... my head is very fuzzy... I can't concentrate... and if I move to fast my heart rate sky rockets... I'm not well today...

I snuck out of bed just to type this...

I hate snow.. it was snowing all day... blecch...

quick question.... is there a such thing as topic specific search engines... I know there are search engines for porn, search engines for cracks, cheats and codes for games, and search engines for shopping... but I need a search engine for recipies... omg that would be too cool... a search engine that searches all the webpages for recipies... anyone know of one?

I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive

Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Fuckin Snow.....

I firmly believe that everyone should do some good... in the way of volunteering...
whether its helping an elderly neighour, or serving meals at a hospital, joining a service organization... I believe that everyone should volunteer... but it should be a joy that you bring into your own life... It shouldn't feel like a burden... if it feels like its bringing you down rather than lifting you up... get out... get out as soon as you can... volunteering is just that... it's volunteering... you are there because you want to be.. and you realize that you are not getting paid... if all of a sudden volunteering feels more like going to work... you need to find a new way to volunteer...

there is no better feeling in the world then the feeling you get when you help someone.

*************

When someone lies to you and you find out about it... how does that make you feel?
When someone makes you into a scapegoat and you find out about it... how does that make you feel?
When someone puts you down...how does that make you feel?
When someone treats you and your family like shite.... how does that make you feel?

*************

If you feel that there is something missing in your life... it's probably because there is.... If you feel like you are not being treated in a manner that you believe you should be treated... then... why be in that situation?

If somebody lies to you once do you think that they'll do it again?

*************

I look into the eyes of my baby boys... I never want to see sadness there... If I saw sadness there on a regular basis because of the way somebody was treating them... I would be homicidal.... If you cause my children pain or sadness... you better run for the hills... it break my heart to think that somebody could treat children badly... I don't even like my husband disciplining my children... because somedays I get so mad at him... for raising his voice or sending them to their room or what not...
To all the women and mothers out there... if someone was mean to your children what would you do?

*************

incase you hadn't noticed I'm kind of having random thought day today... figured I was about due since it's been awhile...

*************

Tonight was the first night for snow... yep it snowed... :( was hoping it would wait a little longer... we don't have a snowbrush for the car yet ... so when I finished work I hand to wipe off the back window with my hand... man that was cold... turned on the defroster on the back window but still... would of taken to long to melt it off... *sigh* I hate snow... after 27 years of it... it starts to get a little old... I'm starting to get in the christmas spirit a bit... unlike last year... last year I didn't even put a tree up... this year for the last couple of weeks I've been trying to figure out where I'm going to put up the tree... oh yeah that and I'm starting to freak out about money and whether or not I'll have enough :( (we never have enough) I got the most awesome gift for Raistlan... I'd let ya in on what it is... but he reads my blog everyday... so y'all will have to find out after he does... but ooooooo its good :D

enh alright I'm off... tomorrow (well today actually but don't fuck me up like that) is payday so we'll be shopping and making miracles happen with no money... :D

And The Beat Goes On.....

Had an episode today...

instead of writing about it twice so I wrote it once and you can go to this link and read it...

but only if you want...

I hope tomorrow goes better...

What A Way To Make A Living...

I have bruises on the palms of my hands... my feet have blisters and hurt... I can barely stand up straight... I smelt of beer.. and was called a cocksucker twice to my face by a drunk groom-to-be infront of his bride-to-be, his father-in-law-to-be.... all to make a measely 75 dollars plus tips...

and what will you do for money?

me? ...apparently I'll sling beer and shots at a stag and doe for apprx 300 people...

long story...

went back to work today...

Boy was that a joke....

systems had been down all day... phones were wigging out... customers could hear us but we couldn't hear them... it wasn't just our office it was company wide... thats like 8 offices....

at first my phone was fine it was as soon as I said those fateful words... "Mine's working fine" my next call lasted 45 minutes because I was trying to be helpful.. from what I understood from the guy... I was the third person he had spoken too that had phone troubles and he REALLY needed help... so I felt bad...
yeah he needed my help soooo bad...why?
because he had signed up at ebay and couldn't find the ebay confirmation email... someone stab me.... 45 fuckin minutes...

all I have to say is thank the Gods I don't have to work for the next two days ... lol

SUCKERS!!!

You No Longer Exsist In My World, In My Heart....

I think the rating site that I put my pic on had a brain fart.. all of a sudden yesterday I no longer exsisted... :O

I couldn't believe it... I was mad.. I was doing fairly well... not the greatest but then I never really expected too...

But to all of a sudden be erased :( thats not cool...

so I'm all set up on it again....

so... could you do me a favour.... GO VOTE!! again :D

thanks guys :D

Too Stern On Stern...

So today on the way home from driving Raistlan to work I was listening to Howard Stern...

Just as I was pulling into the driveway, they were playing a clip of two senators talking about the scheduling on the American Forces Radio... well they decided to use Howard Stern as an example...

The one guy had asked what the conditions were for being put on the AFR and the other guy answered that "you had to have a syndicated show that had over 1 million listeners..." so the first guy said "well if those are the only requirements why don't we have the Howard Stern show on there as well it seems that maybe there are other conditions as well that we don't know about"

so Senator 2 said some shite about Howard Stern being offensive and how there are lots of people that find his radio show and its content offensive.
Senator 1 replied with "so you're admiting that there are other criteria for what gets played on the ARF"

So it goes on like that for atleast another minute until Sentor 1 says to Senator 2 "well there are people out there that believe that Rush Limbaugh is offensive and his content has a lot to be desired" They aren't putting somebody like Howard on because they think that the Arabs will find it offensive....

Well anyway thats how the conversation/debate went on for a few minutes... until Howard turned it off...

But they debate would have been interesting to finish... because serioiously... who's the judge of what thousands of people would find offensive... Have you listened to Howard Stern lately?? seriously he's nowhere near as bad people believe he is... he just speaks bluntly about whats on his mind.. which a lot of the time happens to be tits and ass.. he's just like everyother American male.. except one thing... he made it look and sound good... and has his own radio show...

I will be one of the first to point out that I don't agree with most of the things that Rush Limbaugh has too say in the least...

I'm not political... everyone else tells me what I am.. I've been labeled a Liberal... as a matter of fact I might a guy that as soon as he found out I was Canadian he nodded and said "yep, Liberal"...
I just shrugged and said whatever... lol

but in my opinion I think if they're gonna have one side of the coin on the American Forces Radio (Rush Limbaugh) then why not have the other side of the coin (Howard Stern)

shouldn't it be up to the troops? shouldn't they get a say in what they would like to listen too??

**************

So I have a tip for you...
Todays tip - Don't fry bacon on the range naked... as a matter of fact don't fry any food naked...

People Are Strange When You're A Stranger, Faces Look Ugly When You're Alone...

So I put my pic up on a different site and took the hotornot site... apparently they don't like fat chicks there... lol

So here's my pic on the new site... so help a girl out ;) go vote :D

All I ask is that you be nice ;)

So I still haven't heard from Toronto... *sigh* I think I might call my cardiologists office and see if there is something amiss... and see if we can't get on this... before I end up in the hospital again... they're getting worse and the after effects are lasting longer... what's a girl gotta do to get some heart surgery around here... ;)

I think whether they call or not I may start my med leave in the middle of December or so...
That would give me until April or May depending on when I take it...

Spanish was fun tonight.. we had a substitute teacher tonight... she was short and cute... she spoke a lot slower to us so we could understand her better... she was real nice...

I did some of my homework... but I still have more to do... lol

I'm avoiding again ... lol

He Rocks In The Treetops All Day Long...Rockin' and a Boppin' and a Singing His Song...

I'm A Spoiled Brat ...

Raistlan is not too keen on birds... he thinks they are noisy creatures...

I love birds... I think they're pretty... especially the real pretty ones... lol :P

so since I'm a spoiled brat and my man loves me more than anything... he bought me a beautiful pair of Lovebirds... they are quite pretty...

theres just one thing...

the guy we bought them from says they are not a breeding pair... which leads him to believe that they are both...

male...

yep I have Gay lovebirds... it's great... lol no but seriously... he had them for a year and they never produced any eggs... so he thinks they're male...

so yep gay birds...

their names are Raistlan and Sairys :D (yeah it's corny... but hey they're my birds :P) and Sairys isn't a gender specific name so there... :P

My man loves me neener neener neener... :D

*************

I feel like because of one man's insecurities I've lost the chance of making a good friend.
Someone who I have a fair bit in common with... all because of his insecurities...

Don't Want To Be An American Idiot, The Subliminal Mind Fuck America

So yeah I lasted 2 whole hours at work tonight.... *sigh*

I couldn't take it... was getting chest pains... and was too distracted by them...

but man had a couple of doozy's before I left work...

one guy called to yell at me that his cable had been off "ALL DAY" ... so when I asked him what the lights on his modem were doing... he answered with " the standby light is on"
Me "do you have a standby button on the top of your modem?"
Him"uh... yeah"
Me "could you push that button for me please?"
Him *sigh* "yeah I guess"
Me tight lipped "thank you"
Him "oh wow its back on"
Me (smacking myself in the head with my keyboard while phone is on mute)
Him "thanks... bye"
click...

I hate stupid people

theres others... but... alas I don't have the energy to type out the conversations...

you know.. one of the things I've learnt in the last couple of years... lying isn't worth it... I tried it...
I tried to spare Raistlans feelings by lying to him before... all it did was blow up... and he lost faith in me... and it took me a long time to get his trust back...
Now after that long road... everything is fucking awesome... was it worth it.. I dunno... I don't know if we would have ended up here without going there first... so it does make one wonder...

So my question to all of you my faithful readers....

Is there ever a good reason or good time to lie about something?
c'mon let's talk about this one....

Gimmie Yop Me Mama, Yop Me Mama, Yop's For When The Morning Comes...

I have a four year old for sell.... anyone want him?? :P
he makes so many messes in a day it's no where near funny anymore... when FACS decided to come for their visit a few months ago... she was nodding saying well this is good enough I guess... I was standing there thinking... "sheesh lady this is the cleanest it's been in here and thats only because the four year old has been preoccupied for two days" (he was at a friends house) lol

anyway onto the post.... hmmm

I hate work... I don't want to go to work... I'm sick and tired of listening to whiney americans complain that their internet isn't working... or listen to them complain that they "have to" have their services because they run a business from home...blah blah blah... well ya know what mother fucker... there is bigger things in this world then your internet service... and you know what... with the type of internet cable you have it specifically states that you would not be running a business from it.. and you clicked the "I agree" button... so fuck you and your stupid lil ebay business...

*sigh*

I needed the vent... but didn't help too much.... I still have to go there and answer stupid questions for five hours... the money sucks... and when there is down time between calls, then you have to listen to some of the lamest conversations... *sigh*

I'll be home around 11:30pm... anyone who wants to hear me vent and or talk to me... feel free to send me a message when ya see me come online.... LOL

well here I go.... off to Hell I go...

Evito Mis Deberes en este momento

Just an offhand question...

If you found out that your spouse was talking to not one but two of your exes what would you think?

*laughing hysterically* ok no... that was just a question that popped into my head... only one person who reads my blog would understand it... lol

I'm avoiding....

I'm avoiding doing my homework like a good little girl... I have an assignment that I have to do for my Spanish class... it's due in about 4 hours and I haven't started it... I'm a Baaaaad Guuuuurrrl....

wanna spank me...

;)
Anyway... so yeah I'm cruising around on peoples blogs.... going thru my list... that one over there ------>
yes I actually read all those blogs on a regular basis... now you know why I don't have my spanish assignment done.... lol

Hey did I mention a couple of months ago Raistlans social security number finally got here... YAY!!
it took almost a full year for them to get him a SSN... damn those people are slow... so yeah now if we want to we can move to the states and he can get a job there... maybe we'll stick him in the military >:) LMAO

bah... ok I have to go do my assignment....maybe I'll post it later... then Anna can tell me how bad it is... lol

Mis Deberes - Mi Casa

I'm A Loser Baby... So Why Don't Ya Kill Me...

No clocks at license branches? No problem! | IndyStar.com

Ok whoever came up with this is a fuckin idiot who has never heard of pocket or wrist watches... puh-lease someone tell me this is a fuckin joke...

LOSER!!

I Been Thinking About My Doorbell, When Ya Gonna Ring It...?

First I'd like to congratulate Night and Skyye... Skyye is pregnant with her third and Night's first child... I believe in her blog she says she's due in July... Good Luck to them...

ok now on to something that I've been keeping from everyone...

it's in my car... it's a mystery... it's been kept a secret even from me... until I discovered it completely by mistake... I was about to turn a corner when it happened... and thats when I found it...

I have in my car... a mystery button!!!
I'm so excited... it's a button in the car that happens to have no use what so ever!!

on my steering column I have two lil arms... the one on the right is for the wipers... up and down turns on and speeds up the wipers and on the end of the arm is a little knob type thing that adjusts the delay on the wipers.... ok and the other arm is on the left side of the steering wheel... on the end of that arm is a little knob/dial (like on the right one) it turns the fog lights and the headlights on... flip the arm up or down and thats the blinkers.. pull it forward and you got your high beams... normal stuff right?
well here comes the mystery button...

on the end of the left arm where the dial is... if you put your finger right on the end of the arm... you can push this button in and out...

It Doesn't Do Anything!!
(laughing hysterically)

I've decided that my car is female... it's bitchy... it's bitchy ...it's moody... does what it wants too at times... oh yeah did I mention it's bitchy?? ;)

So I have decided that the mystery button that doesn't do anything is my cars clit >:)
Any time the car starts acting up... I push the button in and out and she feels much better :D

shhhh don't tell anyone... the mystery button must stay a secret

"It'll be you and me up in the trees, and the forest will give us the answer... it'll be you and I, up in the sky... it's a combination for disaster... we got one shot, so where do we go from here?... it'll be you and me up in the trees, and the forest will give us the answer it'll be you and I up in the sky it's a combination for disaster... I know theres more for us than this life"

You Can't Always Get What You Want...

Why do I care what other people think?

And its the people that normally I could care less about...

You don't know me motha fucker! You don't know what I've been through... You don't know half the shite that I've seen... but you sit there and persume to know me.
You think you're better than me... you are no better than anyone else... you're just a scared little shite like everyone else...
You think you know more and have been through more... you don't know that... you can't prove that... cause you don't know me.

so...
FUCK YOU!!!


*sigh*
to everyone else... I hope y'all had a good day yesterday...

oh and hun Jarhead is a movie... it's rated R and coming out on the 4th... and hell yeah you know I wanna be the first in line...

this whole not smoking bit... is killing me... I'm so irritable... I want to slice everyones throats...
I figured the car breaking down would get me smoking again...nope I figured being short on cash and wondering where rent is going to come from would get me smoking again...nope I figured being sick and my kid being sick would get me back smoking again...nope

you wanna know what almost made me go out and buy a pack a smokes tonight...
some person who doesn't know me... telling me I'm a liar, that I don't know what I'm talking about, calling me an idiot, refusing to listen to what I have to say...
I thank you... you jerk for testing me... for I passed with flying colours...

But I won't let you do that anymore...
I've got enough people in my life who do know me to do that...

It Ain't Pretty When The Pretty Leaves You With No Place To Go....

:O omg...

I got spammed... I thought it was a myth... a rumour of sorts... the untangible... I got Spammed!

Me?!? *shakes head*

I refuse to go and get one of those irritating verification code things... just because I find them annoying...

Ok so I would like to announce that my car has made it home safe and sound... $350 bucks later...
she accelerates again... she doesn't shake anymore... she's not banging or clanking... but if she does anything like this again she'll be seeing a wreckers *evil angry look*

Things are coming together for the Kids Halloween Party... seems like I'm decorating more for the dance we're putting on two nights before hand... *sigh* but whatever...
I'm fairly proud of myself tho... I've been snagging some door prizes...

But how dreadfully boring...

I had a strange dream the other night...
I was told that if I righted it... it would stop... I was confused so asked what they meant by that... so they said "it doesn't have to be like this...if you get back to it... things will get better"

still pickin my brain on that one... ;)
I'll let ya know what comes out

(edited)*** Holy Crap I got spammed twice!! on the same post!! by the same guy!! LMFAO***

If you start me up, If you start me up I’ll never stop

ok so I guess I should give you an up date on the car... lol
I was pissed did I happen to mention that in my last post?

ok so I hear from the mechanic today and he tells me that what is wrong with the car is it needs a ignition coil assembly and a module .... hmm ok.... this is what he told Raistlan the other day when Raistlan was in there as well... however he also told Raistlan that they would have to call a wreckers to get the part because they don't have... Canadian Tire doesn't have an auto part??

Anyway I couldn't find online the exact one for our car... which happens to be a 1992 (yes thats not a typo...don't ask about the year of our car...I'll likely blow a gasket if you do) Oldsmobile Achieva S it's silver...

but anyway, the glowing thing from under the car "looks like" it was the converter which apparently will get fucked up if the ignition assembly gets messed up... I dunno how those dots connect but I don't care... I'll keep my eye on it when we get the car back....

So yeah he called me and told me that it will cost almost $400 dollars... thats including the estimate we got done as well... oh I would love to be a mechanic... lol so much for rent this month...
oh well we'll figure something out...
so theres the update ;)

It's Time To Get Things Started, It's Time To Get Things Right....

I'm sooooo fucking mad....

Did I break a fucking mirror that I don't remember....???

Exactly one month after purchasing the car... I was turning a corner to go to pay a bill... when all of a sudden I hear some strange banging clunking type sound... then all of a sudden it stalls... so I throw on the hazards and put the car into neutral... try starting the car... same clunking banging sound and it won't start... Raistlan gets out we push it around the corner onto a lil dead end street with no traffic.... still can't get the car to start... finally after awhile if I started the car while in neutral or park and revved the gas it would stay going as long as I kept my foot on the gas... *sigh*

ONE FUCKING MONTH!!!

I walked a block away to the Canadian Tire and called my mom's cell, my sisters cell and their home phone... because we were supposed to be meeting them in Niagara Falls to pick up Gambit... yeah they went to watch a movie....
So I was walking back to the car and I noticed a strange glowing from under the car...
I get closer and Raistlan had the car running... again because his foot was on the gas...
I motion to him to turn off the car and to get out... the nosey neighbour from across the street comes out and says "oh hey I was wondering if you had noticed that..." so I'm pointing the glowing out to Raistlan trying to ignore the old guy before I smack him out... he says" hey is there still someone in the car..." I turn and look at the guy showing him on my face just exactly what I would like to do to him... he shuts up goes in the house... I explain to Raistlan that I'm gonna take Keenan down the street to McDonalds.. he could go to Canadian Tire and see if he could get some help from them... he opts to come to McDonalds instead...

so we walk the six blocks to MacDonalds and I used the payphone to try calling my mom again... she answers her cell this time.. says she'll be to McD's in 20 mins...

So the three of them show up... and I figure ok so I'll talk to my sis about using her CAA... so we finish eating and we drive over to the car.. where my absolutely infinitely completely all encompassing fucking moronic mother decides that she has the best idea of pushing MY car with her van...
she figures she'll push my car up a hill into a four lane road that is one of the busiest next to the highway...
and then push it to make a left hand turn into the parking lot of the Canadian Tire... oh yeah and have it at the completely opposite side of the parking lot from the automotive department...

So after getting into a yelling match about this with her in the middle of the street, she completely disregards everything I have to say about it and proceeds to do it anyway...

She completely disregarded me infront of my children... which pretty much sends them the message that "Mommy knows nothing, don't listen to her"

Thanks Mom you inconsiderate fucking hosebeast bitch.

Get Up, Come On Get Down With The Sickness...

So as many people know Raistlan and my hours are completely different now at work... which works for us... he works from 6am to 2:30pm and I work from 6pm to 11pm...

which pretty much means I'm sleeping when he leaves, He's sleeping when I get home... I joke and tell people that we sometimes bump into each other going in or out of the bathroom...
Sometimes (depending on the situation) I'm going to bed as he's getting up... well one of those situations reared it's ugly head last night... I was getting into bed at 4:30am and he was just waking up... so we ended up bumping into each other in bed >:D take that how ya want ... lol

The reason that I was rolling into bed was not just because I was talking to friends online... but also because Keenan (the youngest) wasn't feeling well, and he was kind up and down most of the night...


So after bumping into Raistlan in bed til 6am (he went in for 7 this morning) I finally fall asleep... only to be awoken by the sound of a small sob filled voice saying "Mommy my stomach really hurts" (I hate it when my baby's sick)
So I stumble out of bed.. give the boy some gravol, make him some toast and give him a cup of water... of course now I'm also trying to convince him that it would be in his best interest to go back to sleep... because it'll make him feel better... and I could use some more sleep as well...

Just as he's about to pass out... he sits up real quick says... "Mommy my stomach REALLY hurts agaaaaiii...." *insert puking here* eww... ok try to get him to the toilet as quickly as possible, he's trailing behind me...well... leaving a trail... *insert me looking to the heavens for any kind of assistance* get him situated at the toilet with a glass of water... tell him to stay there til I come back... proceed to follow the path while cleaning it back to the livingroom... take the blanket off the couch... put it in the laundry... change the pillow... find a puke bucket... go back to the bathroom... the worst sight in the world... a little tiny boy hunched over the toilet hugging it little body unvoluntarily arching and tensing because of gagging and puking... it's enough to make you cry I tell ya...

Rub his back.. get him cleaned up, take him back out to the couch in the livingroom... to a new pillow, a new blanket, his new best friend for the day his very own lil puke bucket and of course his cartoons and toast... were he starts eating his toast... now that he swears he feels better (while looking as white as a little ghost)... who eats promptly after puking their guts out?? actually I can think of one guy I know that might... lol

Anyway, so now I'm waiting for the gravol to kick in... make him pass out so that I can catch a few more Z's... which I think might happen soon...

oh and by the way did I happen to mention how I quit smoking 34 hours ago... *pulling hair out*

Calling Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones Wake Up Now....

So I went to my family doctor and my cardiologist yesterday...

My family doctor tells me that from all the coughing I was doing somehow I damaged my vocal cords... they are swollen... so I'm on voice rest... supposed to talk in a low whisper if I have to talk at all...

My cardiologist and I agreed that I would go to Toronto General Hospital for surgery... so I'm waiting on them to call me to find out when I have to go up to Toronto...

I'll let ya know when the date comes in...

My Heart Can't Possibly Break When It Wasn't Whole To Start With...

So I have a doctors appointment on Monday the 17th... two of them actually... going down to see my GP in Fort Erie to find out why I'm still sick... thats at 10:30am and then I have to race back home again and make sure that I get Keenan to school... then I have to race over and pick up Raistlan at work at 2:30 drop him off at home and then I have to race to Niagara Falls to go see my cardiologist at 3:30pm and of course this is all started off by me driving Raistlan to work at 5 in the morning.

Rasitlans new schedule (which sucks) is 6am to 2:30pm with Wednesday and Thursday off... wtf?!?
I don't mind the 6am to 2:30pm we discussed that shift.. but Wednesday and Thursday???
My new shift is 6pm to 11pm with Monday, Tuesday and Saturday off... talk about not having any full days off together...
Fucking Hell...

I'm sitting here looking at the warning on the side of an old pack of cigarettes... which sayd "Warning: Each year, theequivalent of a small city dies from tobacco use" of course it has a little bar graph to support it's theory... labelled Estimated Deaths in Canada, 1996... Murders = 510 Alcohol = 1900 Car Accidents = 2900 Suicides = 3900 Tobacco = 45000... first thing that comes to my mind is... population control...then the second thought was whoa people kill themselves more often than they get into car accidents...?

Nothing brightens a persons day more than having a good friend call... thanks Squasha that made me feel better... hope you get well soon as well... I say next time you call we leave out the coughing contest ... LOL

Have you ever noticed that there are people out there that won't come right out and tell you that they care and are worried.. but there's little things they do or say that make you realize they do...

My mom won't talk about my heart condition.. at first I just thought she didn't care.. then I realized that it was because one of her babies had a health problem that she couldn't fix... it dawned me the other day... when I started to wonder if this heart problem is hereditary...could I possibly give it to my kids?? and thats when I realized that about my mom...

I've been asked to keep some people updated on whats going on with my doctors appointments and such... so I hope y'all don't get too bored with that being in most of my posts..

Ok I've decided I don't want to drive Raistlan to work anymore...

I got to sleep to early this morning and then Raistlan woke me up a couple of hours (literally) later...

I think I'm going back to bed :(

No No No No Don't Phunk With My Heart...

ok so I tried to post an entry the other day here and blogger posted only my title... that was fucked up... spent over an hour typing out a witty and funny and dramatic and heart wrenching post and poof... blogger sucked it out into cyber space... I was so pissed that it took me two days to calm down enough to sit down and type anything...

So.. Sunday was no fun... I ended up in the hospital in what they called an SVT... pretty much I had a cardiac episode and my heart was going wonky again... heart rate was 181 bpm... so they hooked me up to a bunch of machines and injected some kind of drug called denizen... it is horrible... it made it feel like everything in my body had stopped... I couldn't breathe, I couldn't focus, I could barely move, I couldn't feel my heart anymore... it was absolutely horrible... it lasted about 5 seconds... but it was the longest 5 seconds in my life... I literally felt like I was dying...

So I called my cardiologist today and told the receptionist about the visit to the ER... she scheduled me for a follow-up... after my last appointment I was supposed to call and let them know where I want to go to have some sort of procedure/surgery done... my choices are either Toronto (which if I go there could go in and get it done in 4 to 6 weeks) or Hamilton (which if I go there could take 4 to 6 months)... I don't know how to spell the procedure however I can explain it to ya ;)
they want to go into an artery in my leg, go up and into my heart, bother my heart until it starts freaking out and then they want to zap (the doctors words not mine) a nerve that is misbehaving... I'm sorry let me repeat that.... THEY WANT TO USE A LASER ON THE INSIDE OF MY HEART!!! anyway... if they slip I will end up with a pacemaker... A FUCKING PACEMAKER!!! at 27 years old...
so you can probably see why I haven't called them back yet...
but I think I've decided...
I think I'll go to Toronto... :(

So thanksgiving was on monday... went to Mum's house and had turkey with all the fixin's... it was fantastic... we need to have big turkey dinners more often in the year... :D

So with all the crap thats been going on with everybody's health I haven't been able to get back to the gym... I'm hoping to go back this week and get my routine back going again...

I have started a night class once a week that I am absolutely loving :D I'm taking a spanish class with my sister on Tuesdays... we're gettin all practiced up for when we go to Cuba in January :D

anyway... gotta run.. I need to get to sleep I have to drive Raistlan into work in a few hours

Baby You Just Ain't Seen Nothing Yet....

And the hits keep coming....

hi there everyone... lookit me I'm at the library...
I'm sicker than a dog, I'm sweating profusely, I'm surrounded by other people who's computers have died and or can't afford them... and smelly children running about....ick...

Anyway... I am the bearer of bad news again...
Raistlan is back in the hospital (again, with kidney stones) having surgery tonight... I can't go visit him because I'm too sick and they won't let me... Krammit is the bestest... she's taken Keenan for me... I was supposed to be going to work but that idea is still up in the air because of how shitty I feel... I dunno if I'll be able to work knowing that Raistlan is havig surgery tonight... that and I'm so tired...

The only good thing I have to report at this point is that we got the car... at a huge price which I dunno if we'll be able to pay next month but hey at least we have one...

Anyway... I'm gonna stop now before I try to throw myself a pity party...

if ya wanna call I'll probably be home...

**hugs to my krammit**

Don'tcha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me....

So yes I am making a post...
I'm at work so Shhhhh!! don't tell anybody...

I can't even begin to cover absolutely everythingthat has happened since June... because frankly too much stuff has happened...

Of course everyone is wondering about my computer... well we got some new parts for it... however Raistlan set it all up and had everything all plugged in and hit the power button... and nothing.... and for everyone who keeps telling me to go buy a new one... I'm giving you the finger right now... do you think this has been a walk in the park for me?... some of the greatest friends I've had I've been cut off from for almost four friggin months.. and thats not fun for me... parts cost money... which we definately don't have any of... guess some things don't change... I still don't have any money... lol

Lets start with kids... the kids are great Keenan started Junior Kindergarten this month... he goes for the afternoon... he's so cute he loves it...
Gambit started grade 3 in a new school this year and absolutely loves it...
They're growing so much...

Raistlan is good now... he was in the hospital for a week... I was very sad :( He was in the hospital because he had kidney stones... I was real lonely while he was gone... but he's good now so we're happy...

I found out at the beginning of this month that I have to go for heart surgery... I'm trying to put that off for as long as possible... right now I'm suffering from extreme back pain... apparently I'm an idiot... went to move a bag of dirt and sprained something in my back.... so this is actually my first day back to work... was off for eight days ...

next week Raistlan will be going to pick up a car that we have just purchased... I know nothing about this car for his father hates me... so I was cut out from the deciding process... tell ya how much he hates me... my birthday is next week.. so technically it would be a good idea to put the plates in my name so that we can get a full year before we have to pay for them again... Raistlan mentions this to his father and his reply was "I'm paying for this car for YOU it will be in YOUR name." what an assmunch.... pretty much telling Raistlan that he doesn't consider this car to be in any shape or form mine at all... grr but anyway... I was so mad... we're both paying him back not just Raistlan... I refuse to deal with this man ever again... I didn't have to be nice and call him and let him know that Raistlan was in the hospital... **sigh**

I'm not too sure what else to write about... any questions about whats been going on feel free to send them in the comment section... and let me know what you've been doing too... unfortunately I can't get on to read everyone's blogs :( I only barely get to view mine...

Love you all and I'll try to write again soon...

Stay Tuned More To Come

here's the shortest version possible of this story...

computer = dead





***posted at local library***

Hit Me Baby One More Time...

computer is barely workinng again... hence why I haven't been around too much...
cable is working again... tech is coming out tomorrow to connect digital cable television...
gotta run...
be back soon.. hopefully...

other posts are back dated...

Don't You Worry Bout A Thing Baby, Ya Know Ya Got Me By A String Baby...

Computer isn't working right... big news there... I should say the cables not working... funny how the tv still works even tho the modem doesn't... I'm typing this in a notepad until my connection comes back....

Happy Birthday to Anna Banana!!!

work has been hell...I've had to take time off because the assholes in the scheduling department refuse to work with us on our shifts... they have Raistlan scheduled from 1pm to 10pm...and me scheduled from 6pm to 10pm... hmmm yeah sure I'll just leave thekids home by themselves... *mutters* fucking retard assholes...
I swear this place is going down the tubes and fast...
My supervisor is pissed about the situation... always nice to havea sup on your side...

Got my hair done last week... not too happy.. it's fading real fast for some reason... will probably change it again next week... lol

The huge msuic festival in the park that our club is putting on is coming up fast...it's this saturday... *sigh* the butthead chairperson decided to go out and break his shoulder in a baseball game... dink... so he's gonna be utterly useless...

we've been having been having some wicked storms here lately... had a couple of tornadoes touch down up North a bit... always nice to see Mother Nature at her best...

Called up a friend of mine that I haven't seen or talked to in months... man have I ever been out of the loop... damn job... lol

I have a doctors appointment next tuesday... I'm goning to have him fill out some paper work for work... I believe it's called an "accomodation" form... hopefully that will help out the work problems a bit....

haven't been sleeping too well... turned the A/C on and the bugger doesn't seem to be working properly... *sigh* fuckin bugger...
you'd figure one lil air conditioner would be able to cool down my lil shoebox of an apartment... guess not...

enh too tired to write/type anymore... maybe I'll be able to get some sleep now...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNA!!!!!!

Ya Give Me Fever....

ok here I am.... sweating to death in my livingroom.... my A/C is on and feels like it's not doing a damn thing...

I hate my job... ugh... won't get into that... people who are too stupid to own a computer calling you for four hours...doesn't that sound like a wonderful job??

Anyway... Update...
trip cancelled... and/or postponed.... depends on the reason why I was going in the first place... so gonna do some different stuff this weekend.... sounds like the movies are in on Friday... and on Saturday.. not sure yet...Sunday... hmm not sure about that either....

Tomorrow is a different story... got a whole day planned... wake up.... be hot in my apartment...catch a hot bus...go downtown...walk over get my nails done while sweltering the whole time...wait for Raistlan out in the hot sun...catch a hot bus over to Jewlzie's house...hope that Jewlzies house isn't too hot....watch a bunch of people get their hair done by Jewlz...and get my hair done as well.... hopefully I can get a pic of it when I'm done so that y'all can see it iffin' ya want... lol
If I can't get a pic of it... then I'll just have to describe it to y'all :D

So yes it's that time of the year again that the fat white pastey chick from Canada will do nothing but complain about the heat...

too hot to type anymore... blecch

You Look Like A Monkey Annnnnnnd You Act Like One Too...

Woo Hoo... Shout out to Judge Greg Mathis... he did a plug for fat chicks.. embarassed the hell out of a couple of guys in his court room saying that they were into the heavy chiks and that they need to stop lying... just because they were in public doesn't mean they can't love the big girls....


What makes people snap? one minute they are fine and doing well and has a bunch of friends from all over the world... next thing you know they have snapped, has no friends, is constantly whining to nobody who cares... how could someone fall so deep into a self pity trip that they don't even realize that no one cares anymore...

Well trip to South Carolina is coming up... couple more weeks... the weather here is getting to the pointthat I'm not liking going outside... makes me feel like I'm going to pass out... can you imagine how I'm going to be down there? considering when I was there last April it got REAL hot...
Anyway, hoping to get over to the park...

Spring cleaning time.. weee
one of the things that needs to be done during spring cleaning is the cleansing of the house...
no not Mr Clean and Chlorox... it's a spiritual cleansing... I do them in other peoples houses and also in my own... got any dirty spirits in your house? LOL just kidding... but I actually do do the house cleansings... ;)

I'm a Joker, I'm a Smoker, I'm a Midnight Toker...

Canadians are so friendly....

How friendly are they...

Well.... they're so friendly that they are willing to share all kinds of things with you...

out partying on Friday night... it was Jewlzie's birthday and it was pretty much the last day of my training.... so chugging down coolers from 12:45am to 2:30am... got a bit drunk... lol
there was a group of us... we went to HD (Heavy Duty Pizzeria) there was 7 of us from work... so there was 3 of us inside HD and the others were outside... we were being goofy and lifting our shirts and exposing our bras thru the pizza places doors... well there was two guys inside the pizzeria place that we had no idea who they were... they left before the three of us....

The three of us walked out side to one of these guys looking at me and saying "will you show us your tits if he shows you his third testicle?"
damn near died laughing...
shrugged... sure why not... lol
and sure as shit he had an itty bitty third testicle... but man he had a wide dick... whew...
so I stepped up... looked around and flashed them....
all I hear is a guy saying to Raistlan "man you are lucky dude...do you ever drown in those"
lmao

**********

So onto Monday....
most everyone knows that I have Mondays off....
Anyway this past Monday (yes yesterday) Raistlan and I went to the bank with my mother...
I was under the impression that if the bank agent told us that we would have to get a co-signer for a mortgage that my mom was going to see if she could do that...
appraently i was misled... she told us no (the bank agent)... credit... blah blah blah.... so she went on to say we would need a co-signer and all that stuff...
I was waiting my mom to step up... and was yet again shown that apparently my mom doesn't always do what she says...
but anyway... long story short... we didn't get the mortgage we wanted...
we were told that if we straightened out or credit a bit we could be pre-approved for a mortgage of 132 grand... well isn't that nice... all I wanted was 100 grand...
what was worse is she started sounding like my mom... telling us to do up a budget and blah blah blah... I was very quick to let her know that I didn't need her advice about that sort of stuff...

They need to stop giving credit cards to college kids with no jobs... they fuck up their credit big time...
Any person who has a teenager right now... do not let them get a credit card when they go to college....
I know I was an idiot... now I do... didn't think I was an idiot then... just thought it was free money... BA HA HA.... now it may take me over a year in order to straighten all the crap out because of it...

So needless to say.... I was/am extremely disappointed...

If you'd like to help pay off my credit card stupidity... just go ahead and click on the donate button over there ------>

lol

So today I shall send Joey an email about the car...
to see if he is ready to unhand it...

If we can't buy a house... then God Damnit we're buying a car!!

thats it!