Krammity Jane
Krammit is such a great friend, she called me this morning (over and over and over again until I got out of bed), told me she was playing hooky from work and was gonna come visit me... YAY my krammit was coming over... she says "Get dressed...want a tea?" LOL of course I wanted one... seems like the only time I have Timmy's tea is when she comes over... usually if I go to timmy's for something I'll order an Ice Capp...
Anywho...
Krammit came over for a few hours, talked about all kinds of things....it's nice to see that even when we don't talk for awhile or see each other a lot we can pick up right where we left off...it's been hard for us to get together with our schedules... I say ours as if I have this huge schedule...LOL
with her havin a full time job, and three kids, which one plays Lacrosse, it's hard to get together..
"I did what I did before love came to town"
We're doing the wedding countdown already... 7 weeks til the big day... (not me you sillies...Krammit's)
"ain't yo bidness, no concern, ain't your concern, what we do, 'less you want your face slapped too"
Going to get Keenan on Thursday... gotta leave here at 6:30 am...we'll get there about noon or so depending on traffic... and since Shadow has to work on Friday...we'll have to leave Thursday in the afternoon... it's gonna be a really long fucking day... 12 hours in driving total... Shadow's gonna drive up since my mom is coming straight here after her midnight shift at work... so she'll be sleepin in the back of the van... she told me on the phone to bring some cd's or something to listen to then turns around and says she wants silence on the way up...well ya'll know how I feel about silence...I told her that silence was un-fuckin-likely...LMAO
*sigh* gonna be a REAL long drive if I either have to do it in silence or listen to her bitch... so it may be a lose lose situation...wish me luck either way LOL
"go ahead Mr Wendal"
Doing the blood work wasn't as bad as I've had to put up with in the past... I so prefer going to the lab to get it done... any time I've had iot done at the hospital I come home looking like I'm a fucking heroine addict...
they would poke me in all kinds of spots lookin for veins...the worst time was...
Last July when I came down with a bout of Bell's Palsy...they wanted to do some tests on my... the nurse (I use that term loosely) comes in...tries three times on my right arm, then twice on my left arm, then she fuckin tried the back of my hand and then finally went back to my left arm... Gawd I wanted to punch her in the fucking head...
"Where do bad folks go when they die? they don't go to heaven where the angels fly, they go to a lake of fire and fry, don't see them again til the fourth of July"
however no bruises this time... she was a nice english woman, talked to me the whole time..I warned her that sometimes it's hard to find my veins... so she tied my arm up REALLY tight...
"when ya answer the door, pick up the phone, you won't find me cause I'm not coming home"
Gambit and mom were with me when I got the blood taken...unfortunately Gambit didn't come in with me...I wanted to show him...(gawd sometimes I'm evil to that kid) LMAO
So I came out of the cubicle holding my arm and pouting... looked at Gambit "Did ya hear me screaming?" he got a scared look "yeah" he said, mom smacks me in the shoulder and looks at him "you did not" "well I heard someone screaming" he says...now with my family thats quite possible...however... the girl behind the counter was laughing her ass off as we walked out the building, Gambit and I walked out hand in hand and he looks up at me a quietly says "I really did hear screaming tho"...I chuckled and replied "it's ok baby, it wasn't me, I'm alright"
Grandma took us to McDonalds... she realized when I hesitated at the question of when was the last time you ate when the woman behind the desk asked it, that I hadn't eaten all day...
And Gambit told on me as soon as my mom got here...see with my mom if I don't smile as soon as I see her...her first question is always "what's the matter with you?" so of course she asked it...Gambit pipes up "Mommy is tired" "why?" "because she didn't go to bed last night, she stayed up all night long" she looks at me and asks him "why did she do that?" he shrugged and went to walk past me...I whispered "thanks a lot you lil snitch"...I just told her I couldn't sleep, so why go to sleep at 6 am when I know that Gambit is gonna be up at 8...
"And here's to you Mrs Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you know, God bless you please Mrs Robinson heaven holds a place for those who pray"
Blah... Blog Ya later
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Damnit I found more...
Shut up about the bathroom... LMFAO
Mostly, you're a relationship skipper
So you'lle rack up a lot of your partners via serial monogamy
But a couple of those partners will be pure experimentation
For a guy, you're about average... for a girl, a little wild
How Many People Will You Have Sex With?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
Oh my god they have no fucking idea how VERY far off they are...LMAO
Industrial rock! Just like Marilyn Manson, you
know what you have to say and you just say it!
I like you very much...just be careful you
don't scare me away...
What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Umm ok..
Your soul is OPEN-MINDED. Although you do have
strong opinions and make decisions, you never
make them without thinking first of not only
everything that is, but those that may not be
as well. People trust that you'll willingly
hear them out and understand when they tell you
something, and you are well-liked for it. You
are often the mediator in disputes and your
desire to do what is right overcomes all else.
You are an understanding and admirable soul.
What Is Your Soul's Trait?
brought to you by Quizilla
Hmm Ok..
Love. You Truly Desire Love. You long for someone
to hold you and take the pain away. You haven't
been in much relationships or you need to work
on how to handle them. You always seem lost in
a daydream about the person you care about
most.
Shut up about the bathroom... LMFAO
You Will Have Sex With 7 People!
Mostly, you're a relationship skipper
So you'lle rack up a lot of your partners via serial monogamy
But a couple of those partners will be pure experimentation
For a guy, you're about average... for a girl, a little wild
How Many People Will You Have Sex With?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
Oh my god they have no fucking idea how VERY far off they are...LMAO
Industrial rock! Just like Marilyn Manson, you
know what you have to say and you just say it!
I like you very much...just be careful you
don't scare me away...
What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Umm ok..
Your soul is OPEN-MINDED. Although you do have
strong opinions and make decisions, you never
make them without thinking first of not only
everything that is, but those that may not be
as well. People trust that you'll willingly
hear them out and understand when they tell you
something, and you are well-liked for it. You
are often the mediator in disputes and your
desire to do what is right overcomes all else.
You are an understanding and admirable soul.
What Is Your Soul's Trait?
brought to you by Quizilla
Hmm Ok..
Love. You Truly Desire Love. You long for someone
to hold you and take the pain away. You haven't
been in much relationships or you need to work
on how to handle them. You always seem lost in
a daydream about the person you care about
most.
PLEASE RATE
What Do You Truly Desire? *PICS*
brought to you by Quizilla
Ok I'm done... that one just depressed me...
I'll do a real blog entry when I come back to the computer after Shadow is done...
Blog Ya Later..
How Would YOU Take Over the World?
*starts humming Fuck The World by ICP* If I Only Could, I'd Set The World On Fire"
You are the hidden beauty
Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
John Lennon!
Which Beatle would you've been a groupie to? (With pics, of course!)
brought to you by Quizilla
I actually did like John the best out of the four ;)
You are an animal freak!
That's cool. I love animals.
Which kind of freak are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Ummm ok.. I like animals but I wouldn't say I'm an animal freak... I'm actually thinking about talking to Shadow to see if he would mind if I got a hermit crab... then the lil crab and I could be hermits together... saw them in Pet Smart yesterday... Gambit was looking for a frog.. Grandma was actually going to buy him one... I saw the hermit crabs and fell in love with them.. their so freaking cute...and they don't take up a lot of room... Dunno it was 7 bucks... and I have an aquarium that it would fit into already... I hope he'll let me get one... I'll let ya know...
You Are Briana Banks
Not the most famous porn star around, but always a fan favorite
Super tall, super busty, super cute... with a penchant for dirty Euro sex
Like Brianna, you'd love to be in the middle of a lesbian gangbang
Or perhaps just in a sexy milk bath with another hot girl
What Porn Starlet Are You?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
I wouldn't say I'm super tall...LMFAO I would say I'm super short...
You Get Off on Hansel and Gretel!
You're both lost in the woods: two unchaperoned virgins neglected by their parents and free to play doctor...
But that jealous witch tries to upset your plans!
Or maybe it's a morality tale about being a bit too greedy for a nibble on someone's sugar shack, and getting your goose cooked as a result?
Then again, you could be confusing your lust for food with plain old lust.
What Fairy Tale Gets *You* Off?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
Never thought about "getting off" to a fairy tale...thats just fucked up LMAO
Your Erogenous Zone Is Your Neck
You're particularly sensitive to kisses on your neck
But you don't mind a hickie every now and then either
Ask your partner to kiss right behind your ear
Because chances are, that's the most sensitive spot on your body
What's Your Secret Erogenous Zone?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
*whistles while lookin around the room*
An unexpected bonus for just about every guy on the planet.
He’s plowing you and you’re yelling for more.
Talk dirty, talk cheap, scream his name, scream complete gibberish. No matter.
You are the Mariah Carey of the bedroom and he loves every fucking syllable that spews from your luscious mouth.
Maybe you’re the "Mary the Librarian" type by day.
But by night, honey, watch out.
The vocal chords let loose with everything your heart and mind have been thinking about all day long.
What Cocktail Are You?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
*blushing* thats only true if not in an apartment building...LMFAO *snickers at the thought of base housing* Incase you would like to screaming orgasm...
To make your own kick ass Screaming Orgasm:
1 part Kahlua
1 part Irish Cream
1 part Amaretto
1 part Vodka
Shake well and serve in a fancy glass over ice
You Are "100% Quiz Whore"!
You write quizzes. You take quizzes. You even sometimes dream quizzes.
At this point, you have trouble answering questions that aren't multiple choice!
Your friends refresh your journal every five minutes to find the latest quizzes - even though it takes minutes to load.
You know your sex sign,
your sexual talent,
what kind of kisser you are, - and that you're a quiz whore.
Are You a Quiz Whore?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
Didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out...LMAO
Wow tell me something I don't know or haven't heard a million times already...sheesh...
You Will Die Orgasming To Death!
When it comes to sex, you're like an energizer bunny on crack.
While this is normally a good thing, you don't cool down when you should.
If you're going to bite the big one while your naked, it will be simple.
Too much fun, and your heart will give out. What a way to go!
How Will You Die Having Sex?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
Woo Hoo good way to Die :D
Your Guy is Wild Kyle!
The guy for you is Wild Kyle.
He is a spontaneous, crazy guy who always has surprises up his sleeve.
He is always up for anything and isn't afraid of your kinky ways.
With a man like Wild Kyle, you will always have someone to go on an adventure with.
What Guy is Perfect for *You*?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
I'd like to know who Kyle is and where I can get his phone number LMFAO
You Should Get a Tribal Tattoo!
"Primal, earthy, and naturally sexy"
Describes both you and your tattoo
Subtle tattoo + subtle sensuality = perfect match!
What Tattoo Should You Get?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
Doing this quiz I was leery as to whether or not they would know what kind I want... seems they did know... I want a nice piece of tribal work... I'd like Night to design me one... I like his work..
|
You Are A Woman!Congratulations, you've made it to adulthood. You're emotionally mature, responsible, and unlikely to act out. You accept that life is hard - and do your best to keep things upbeat. This makes you the perfect girlfriend... or even wife! Are You a Girl or Woman? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance. |
Damnit...and here I wanted to be a "chick" LMAO
|
You Are A Relationship Rescuer!You don't ruin relationships, if anything you keep them together The key: you respect yourself and your guy. Which goes further than you might think. You simply treat your guy how you would like to be treated... the old golden rule. And in return, he treats you like gold - or at least tries. And how perfect is that Do You Ruin Relationships? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance. |
hmph...interesting... others would disagree...
You are a Dark Monkey.
What Monkey Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
I'm scratching my head in confusion now...
You Are 100% Skilled at Going Down On a Girl
Chances are your tongue is so tired now that you can't even talk
Not only do you rock at oral - you do it a lot
Your girlfriend is the happiest girl on the planet. No, really.
And, you Mr. (Ms.???) Pussy, are the most sought after lover in your town
How Well Do You Go Down On Girls?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
AHA! in yer face Night :P I'm just as good if not better than you... oops I mean Daddy I dunno why I did this quiz *halo glowing*
You Are A Vanilla Flavored Condom!
Yummy and easygoing - unless it comes to kinky sex.
You innocently seek romance and are often lured into compromising positions.
You're the most likely of all flavors to be a virgin.
What Flavor Condom Are *You*?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
Egad I must stop with the quizzes... I'm barely reading the answers now...LMFAO
Just Woke Up
Dream...
I"m sitting in a doctors office with a small group of people, the attendant comes over to get all of our names. Just as she comes up to get my name the doctor (my regular eye doctor) walks up and says "Rae (but my actual name) did you know that we can now bleach fingernails and toe nails" I was like huh? she nodded and said "uh huh you have beautiful fingernails" I looked at the doctor and said thank you as she walked away. I looked at the attendant who shrugged and said "does that mean I'm supposed to wriite you down for that?" I replied with only if she's paying for it...the attendant shrugged and said "sounded like she was going to" so I go walking down this huge long hallwaythat has doors only on the left side... there were names on the doors (sort of) "Mom", "Grandma", "Dad", "Grandpa" etc.. well the door that said "Grandpa" on it was open so I stopped for a second and looked in... there was an older gentlemen (a grandpa lookin fellow) doing dentistry on a lil 7 year old looking girl... I shrugged and kept walking... I walked past a janitor waxing the floor... Just after I passed him he fell on the floor...got up holding his mouth and was groaning... he came briskly walking to the door that said "Son"...and knocked on it... I guy who looked about 25 ish opened the door... I could see them talking to each other but couldn't hear the words... I stood and watched as the guy took a tool out that looked like a pair of pliers and started to pull the janitors tooth out... "just pull it straight out doc it's been broken for awhile" is what the janitor said to the doctor... the doctor changed to a different looking tool and popped the tooth right out... I gasped slightly...the doctor handed the janitor the tooth...I leaned forward a bit to see if I could see the tooth... the janitor that didn't even acknowledge my existence when he was in the hall leaned forward and said "Here Rae (real name) would you like to keep it?" I reached out my hand, he dropped a large molar into my hand that was completely intact...I said thank you and continued down the hall carrying the tooth in my hand... I found the small group of people that I had been sitting with before and showed them the tooth... it was blood red... it was covered by an extreme amount of dark crimson blood... however my hand was not...
Dream...
I"m sitting in a doctors office with a small group of people, the attendant comes over to get all of our names. Just as she comes up to get my name the doctor (my regular eye doctor) walks up and says "Rae (but my actual name) did you know that we can now bleach fingernails and toe nails" I was like huh? she nodded and said "uh huh you have beautiful fingernails" I looked at the doctor and said thank you as she walked away. I looked at the attendant who shrugged and said "does that mean I'm supposed to wriite you down for that?" I replied with only if she's paying for it...the attendant shrugged and said "sounded like she was going to" so I go walking down this huge long hallwaythat has doors only on the left side... there were names on the doors (sort of) "Mom", "Grandma", "Dad", "Grandpa" etc.. well the door that said "Grandpa" on it was open so I stopped for a second and looked in... there was an older gentlemen (a grandpa lookin fellow) doing dentistry on a lil 7 year old looking girl... I shrugged and kept walking... I walked past a janitor waxing the floor... Just after I passed him he fell on the floor...got up holding his mouth and was groaning... he came briskly walking to the door that said "Son"...and knocked on it... I guy who looked about 25 ish opened the door... I could see them talking to each other but couldn't hear the words... I stood and watched as the guy took a tool out that looked like a pair of pliers and started to pull the janitors tooth out... "just pull it straight out doc it's been broken for awhile" is what the janitor said to the doctor... the doctor changed to a different looking tool and popped the tooth right out... I gasped slightly...the doctor handed the janitor the tooth...I leaned forward a bit to see if I could see the tooth... the janitor that didn't even acknowledge my existence when he was in the hall leaned forward and said "Here Rae (real name) would you like to keep it?" I reached out my hand, he dropped a large molar into my hand that was completely intact...I said thank you and continued down the hall carrying the tooth in my hand... I found the small group of people that I had been sitting with before and showed them the tooth... it was blood red... it was covered by an extreme amount of dark crimson blood... however my hand was not...
Monday, June 28, 2004
Sleep Deprived and Suffering From Blood Loss
went got the blood work done... blah...get off my back now...
didn't have any sleep due to the fact that I didn't get out of bed until 4 pm Sunday... 27 hours... yep gonna sleep well tonight...
I feel bad Anna and I kept Night up real late... he woke up to a phone call saying he had to work from 7 pm til 7 am... then he has to be processed for deployment..some excercise or something... I dunno...but damn I hope he stays awake for it... Good Luck Dude...
I'm too tired to be here right now... I had to pause my Super Smash Bros game cause Deli called... I think I'm gonna go finish it...after that I might sleep or watch a movie or maybe try to get laid :D LOL
Anyway, got to say bye to Anna... Blog Ya Later
went got the blood work done... blah...get off my back now...
didn't have any sleep due to the fact that I didn't get out of bed until 4 pm Sunday... 27 hours... yep gonna sleep well tonight...
I feel bad Anna and I kept Night up real late... he woke up to a phone call saying he had to work from 7 pm til 7 am... then he has to be processed for deployment..some excercise or something... I dunno...but damn I hope he stays awake for it... Good Luck Dude...
I'm too tired to be here right now... I had to pause my Super Smash Bros game cause Deli called... I think I'm gonna go finish it...after that I might sleep or watch a movie or maybe try to get laid :D LOL
Anyway, got to say bye to Anna... Blog Ya Later
Oy Vey
I have got to stop staying up so late having cam sex with Anna....she friggin wears me out... LMAO
But dayum she's good... but then again it wasn't just Anna tonight... so I guess maybe thats why I'm so worn out... nothing like havin Night and Anna sex on cam *evil grin* I'm just playin :D or am I? LMAO now that y'all are confused and have no idea what to think...
Nah it was cool was talking to Night and Anna on the phone, was a cool conversation we had... for like 2 hours...
Anyway... I knew I was going to be in trouble tonight when I woke up at 4 pm... no sleep for me... *sigh*
It sucks because Gambit is here so I have to stay up for him and my mom is coming to pick him and I up so that I can go get my blood work done... *sigh* I don't wanna go to the lab... I always get nervous...
Ever since I've been sexually active I've gotten a HIV test done every year... and no matter what I still get real nervous about it... and not just nervous about me but nervous about anyone that I have been intimate with...
there's not really any reason that I should be worried, but I'm afraid if I relax about it, that's when it'll pop up or something...
I'm going to sign Gambit up for a summer reading program for the month of July...hopefully I'll be able to get him there as many times as I can...he sounded interested when I was telling him about it...apparently they'll get points and so on for reading as many books as they can...since he loves to read so much I thought it would be a good idea...
Hope I can get him to a lot of the activities that they're going to do, looks like they would be fun.
Night changed his name tonight... it's going to be weird not seeing him use that name... the new one is funny and fits him... so I'm trying to decide if I'm gonna keep referring to him as Night in my blog or if I should use the new one and start calling him Drunk LMFAO...
I've decided that I need to move to Switzerland LMFAO... I stayed out of the drama between three people that I consider my friends... why? well because I don't want to lose any one of them as my friends... sure I could have sided with one or the other or the other behind their backs or what not...but hell what will that get me...probably disliked by all of them... I shall remain neutral and I shall remain a friend to them all...
I just chalk it up to Karma kicking my ass... damn I need some music... it's 7:45 am... hmmm... too early? Nah...
*sigh* much better...
"I'm not a perfect person, there are many things I wish I didn't do"
Hoobastank...what a good way to start the day that has yet to end...LOL
mmm Shadow is up, and just got out of the shower... I can smell his axe body spray... gawd that smells good on him...
"I found out a reason for me to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new and the reason is you"
Alright just said Bye to Shadow...now what?? dunno... maybe I'll lay down...maybe I'll eat... maybe I'll sit and stare off into space...either way..I have nothing left to say here right now
I have got to stop staying up so late having cam sex with Anna....she friggin wears me out... LMAO
But dayum she's good... but then again it wasn't just Anna tonight... so I guess maybe thats why I'm so worn out... nothing like havin Night and Anna sex on cam *evil grin* I'm just playin :D or am I? LMAO now that y'all are confused and have no idea what to think...
Nah it was cool was talking to Night and Anna on the phone, was a cool conversation we had... for like 2 hours...
Anyway... I knew I was going to be in trouble tonight when I woke up at 4 pm... no sleep for me... *sigh*
It sucks because Gambit is here so I have to stay up for him and my mom is coming to pick him and I up so that I can go get my blood work done... *sigh* I don't wanna go to the lab... I always get nervous...
Ever since I've been sexually active I've gotten a HIV test done every year... and no matter what I still get real nervous about it... and not just nervous about me but nervous about anyone that I have been intimate with...
there's not really any reason that I should be worried, but I'm afraid if I relax about it, that's when it'll pop up or something...
I'm going to sign Gambit up for a summer reading program for the month of July...hopefully I'll be able to get him there as many times as I can...he sounded interested when I was telling him about it...apparently they'll get points and so on for reading as many books as they can...since he loves to read so much I thought it would be a good idea...
Hope I can get him to a lot of the activities that they're going to do, looks like they would be fun.
Night changed his name tonight... it's going to be weird not seeing him use that name... the new one is funny and fits him... so I'm trying to decide if I'm gonna keep referring to him as Night in my blog or if I should use the new one and start calling him Drunk LMFAO...
I've decided that I need to move to Switzerland LMFAO... I stayed out of the drama between three people that I consider my friends... why? well because I don't want to lose any one of them as my friends... sure I could have sided with one or the other or the other behind their backs or what not...but hell what will that get me...probably disliked by all of them... I shall remain neutral and I shall remain a friend to them all...
I just chalk it up to Karma kicking my ass... damn I need some music... it's 7:45 am... hmmm... too early? Nah...
*sigh* much better...
"I'm not a perfect person, there are many things I wish I didn't do"
Hoobastank...what a good way to start the day that has yet to end...LOL
mmm Shadow is up, and just got out of the shower... I can smell his axe body spray... gawd that smells good on him...
"I found out a reason for me to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new and the reason is you"
Alright just said Bye to Shadow...now what?? dunno... maybe I'll lay down...maybe I'll eat... maybe I'll sit and stare off into space...either way..I have nothing left to say here right now
Sunday, June 27, 2004
Blah...Enh...Meh...Heh
those are thewords that currently describe today...
went to bed at 1 am, (somebody mark that down somewhere that I went to bed before 3 am) woke up today at 4pm...well actually I woke up several times.. got OUT of bed at just after 4... it was strange the last few hours I was in bed I would wake up to the sound of Gambit playing Super Smash Bros on the N64... then I would think of someone or something and immediately fall back to sleep and had a dream about whatever/whoever I was just thinking of... that went on for about 3 hours... until I finally woke up and said ok... dreaming that much is just making me more tired...
"Star shining bright above you, night breezes seem to whisper I love you, birds singing in the sicamore tree, dream a little dream of me"
Some oif the dreams were extremely weird... but do ya think I could remember any of them... Noooo of course not...oh well...
Went on a bit of a downloading spree the other day and nabbed abunch of music by people I have no idea who they are... like my dad told me to get some of the music done be the Fugs... umm ok who they are I have no clue...yet here I sit listening to them..
"I'll fly away, just a few more weary days and then I'll fly away"
damn they are testing me in the room... LOL...well moonie is to see just how many things I can do at once... I'm in a pm with Shiney, in the room holding down two conversations, blogging, and listening to tunes...and she sends me another pm.. LMAO
Damn...lol
"I'm just trying to be a father, raise a daughter and a son, be a lover to their mother everything to everyone, up and at 'em bright and early, all business in my suit yeah I'm dressed up for success from my head to my boots, I don't do it for the money..."
Watched the movie Hamburger Hill last night... Gambit watched it with us... Since he has been asking about war, I figured I'd let him watch a movie based on true story... there's one piece of dialogue that I loved... "God damnit he wants us to take that hill and thats what were going to do...What's he going to do with it??...Turn it into a parking lot." but the best was we're in the middle of the movie and Gambit looks at me and says, after watching men get their heads and limbs and what not blown off, "Why are they trying to get to the top of the hill when they know that those people can kill them easier when they're at the top?" and then that was closely followed with "why were the americans there?" ... that one I couldn't answer... cause I'm not even sure about that one.
Alright I'm done for now...room and pm's have more of my attention..
those are thewords that currently describe today...
went to bed at 1 am, (somebody mark that down somewhere that I went to bed before 3 am) woke up today at 4pm...well actually I woke up several times.. got OUT of bed at just after 4... it was strange the last few hours I was in bed I would wake up to the sound of Gambit playing Super Smash Bros on the N64... then I would think of someone or something and immediately fall back to sleep and had a dream about whatever/whoever I was just thinking of... that went on for about 3 hours... until I finally woke up and said ok... dreaming that much is just making me more tired...
"Star shining bright above you, night breezes seem to whisper I love you, birds singing in the sicamore tree, dream a little dream of me"
Some oif the dreams were extremely weird... but do ya think I could remember any of them... Noooo of course not...oh well...
Went on a bit of a downloading spree the other day and nabbed abunch of music by people I have no idea who they are... like my dad told me to get some of the music done be the Fugs... umm ok who they are I have no clue...yet here I sit listening to them..
"I'll fly away, just a few more weary days and then I'll fly away"
damn they are testing me in the room... LOL...well moonie is to see just how many things I can do at once... I'm in a pm with Shiney, in the room holding down two conversations, blogging, and listening to tunes...and she sends me another pm.. LMAO
Damn...lol
"I'm just trying to be a father, raise a daughter and a son, be a lover to their mother everything to everyone, up and at 'em bright and early, all business in my suit yeah I'm dressed up for success from my head to my boots, I don't do it for the money..."
Watched the movie Hamburger Hill last night... Gambit watched it with us... Since he has been asking about war, I figured I'd let him watch a movie based on true story... there's one piece of dialogue that I loved... "God damnit he wants us to take that hill and thats what were going to do...What's he going to do with it??...Turn it into a parking lot." but the best was we're in the middle of the movie and Gambit looks at me and says, after watching men get their heads and limbs and what not blown off, "Why are they trying to get to the top of the hill when they know that those people can kill them easier when they're at the top?" and then that was closely followed with "why were the americans there?" ... that one I couldn't answer... cause I'm not even sure about that one.
Alright I'm done for now...room and pm's have more of my attention..
Saturday, June 26, 2004
Ok So I'm Real Fucking Bored
Stole this from Shana, Shiney and Tracy
If I were a month, I'd be: September
If I were a day of the week, I'd be: Friday
If I were a time of day, I'd be: 3:21 (am or pm)
If I were a planet, I'd be: Venus
If I were a sea animal, I'd be: Great White Shark
If I were a direction, I'd be: Every which way
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be: Hammock
If I were a sin, I'd be: Wrath
If I were a historical figure, I'd be: Lady Godiva (just cause she rode on a horse nude) LOL
If I were a liquid, I'd be: Moonshine
If I were a tree, I'd be: Willow
If I were a bird, I'd be: Blackbird
If I were a tool, I'd be: Hatchet
If I were a flower/plant, I'd be: Orchid
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: Thunder Storm
If I were a mythical creature, I'd be: Siren
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: a Drum
If I were an animal, I'd be: Badger
If I were a color, I'd be: Blue
If I were an emotion, I'd be: Anger
If I were a vegetable, I'd be: Lettuce
If I were a sound, I'd be: Fog Horn
If I were an element, I'd be: Air
If I were a car, I'd be: 1967 Shelby Mustang GT 500 (http://popularmechanics.com/automotive/sub_coll_vintage/1998/6/67_shelby_mustang/)
If I were a song, I'd be: Secret--Maroon5
If I were a movie, I'd be: The Hours
If I were a book, I'd be: Go Ask Alice
If I were a food, I'd be: Surf and Turf Special
If I were a place, I'd be: the bottom of the ocean at the deepest point
If I were a material, I'd be: Velvet
If I were a taste, I'd be: Mountain Dew Live Wire
If I were a scent, I'd be: Sandalwood (pure sandalwood)
If I were a religion, I'd be: Bacchanalian
If I were a word, I'd be: perpendicular
If I were an object, I'd be: a pen
If I were a body part, I'd be: The Pineal Gland
If I were a facial expression, I'd be: the quizzical look that Shadow gets on his face when he's thinking something perverted but is too much of a gentleman too say it...ahh yes you know it well.."the eyebrow"
If I were a subject in school, I'd be: Music Class
If I were a cartoon character, I'd be: Garfield
If I were a shape, I'd be a: 5 pointed star
If I were a number, I'd be: 3
Stole this from Shana, Shiney and Tracy
If I were a month, I'd be: September
If I were a day of the week, I'd be: Friday
If I were a time of day, I'd be: 3:21 (am or pm)
If I were a planet, I'd be: Venus
If I were a sea animal, I'd be: Great White Shark
If I were a direction, I'd be: Every which way
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be: Hammock
If I were a sin, I'd be: Wrath
If I were a historical figure, I'd be: Lady Godiva (just cause she rode on a horse nude) LOL
If I were a liquid, I'd be: Moonshine
If I were a tree, I'd be: Willow
If I were a bird, I'd be: Blackbird
If I were a tool, I'd be: Hatchet
If I were a flower/plant, I'd be: Orchid
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: Thunder Storm
If I were a mythical creature, I'd be: Siren
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: a Drum
If I were an animal, I'd be: Badger
If I were a color, I'd be: Blue
If I were an emotion, I'd be: Anger
If I were a vegetable, I'd be: Lettuce
If I were a sound, I'd be: Fog Horn
If I were an element, I'd be: Air
If I were a car, I'd be: 1967 Shelby Mustang GT 500 (http://popularmechanics.com/automotive/sub_coll_vintage/1998/6/67_shelby_mustang/)
If I were a song, I'd be: Secret--Maroon5
If I were a movie, I'd be: The Hours
If I were a book, I'd be: Go Ask Alice
If I were a food, I'd be: Surf and Turf Special
If I were a place, I'd be: the bottom of the ocean at the deepest point
If I were a material, I'd be: Velvet
If I were a taste, I'd be: Mountain Dew Live Wire
If I were a scent, I'd be: Sandalwood (pure sandalwood)
If I were a religion, I'd be: Bacchanalian
If I were a word, I'd be: perpendicular
If I were an object, I'd be: a pen
If I were a body part, I'd be: The Pineal Gland
If I were a facial expression, I'd be: the quizzical look that Shadow gets on his face when he's thinking something perverted but is too much of a gentleman too say it...ahh yes you know it well.."the eyebrow"
If I were a subject in school, I'd be: Music Class
If I were a cartoon character, I'd be: Garfield
If I were a shape, I'd be a: 5 pointed star
If I were a number, I'd be: 3
Lab wasn't open today :P Shadow checked.
Reesie hun Go Ask Alice is a really good book... read it :P
(The harrowing true story of a teenager's descent into the seductive world of drugs. A diary so honest you may think you know Alice -or someone like her. Read her diary. Enter her world. You'll never be able to forget Alice.) <-- right off the back of the book :D LOL
Going to go shower now... Blog Ya Later
Reesie hun Go Ask Alice is a really good book... read it :P
(The harrowing true story of a teenager's descent into the seductive world of drugs. A diary so honest you may think you know Alice -or someone like her. Read her diary. Enter her world. You'll never be able to forget Alice.) <-- right off the back of the book :D LOL
Going to go shower now... Blog Ya Later
Peer Pressure
Alright so I'm going to try to get to the clinic tomorrow to get the blood work done that I have been procrastinating about... :P @ Anna, Red, Moonie and Shadow
I hate having blood taken... they always hurt me...
Anyway, I guess later I'll have a story to tell about that...
Shadow said he's going to call the clinic in the morning to make sure they're open...
I hope you all realize I was going to go with my mother and Gambit while he got his soccer pictures taken... :P
I was so sad tonight... Krammit called me very upset... her Oma died earlier... I had no idea what to say except I'm sorry and that never seems to be enough... I hope that she's alright... I know how much she loved her Oma... I let her know that I was here if she needed someone to talk to... I love ya krammit baby even if we haven't talked a lot lately, I've been thinking about ya.
Squirrels is such a sweetie, she found a copy of Go Ask Alice on ebay tonight... starting bid was only a buck... gawd I'm such a dink I don't even have a buck that I could put a bid on it... but thanks squirrels ;) was very thoughtful of you to send me the link... Speaking of Go Ask Alice... Shadow read it today for the first time... it was nice to see that it affected him as much as it always affects me when I read it...
Anyway I'm finally off to bed... I'm gonna be dragging my ass in the morning...gawww... Blog Ya Later
Alright so I'm going to try to get to the clinic tomorrow to get the blood work done that I have been procrastinating about... :P @ Anna, Red, Moonie and Shadow
I hate having blood taken... they always hurt me...
Anyway, I guess later I'll have a story to tell about that...
Shadow said he's going to call the clinic in the morning to make sure they're open...
I hope you all realize I was going to go with my mother and Gambit while he got his soccer pictures taken... :P
I was so sad tonight... Krammit called me very upset... her Oma died earlier... I had no idea what to say except I'm sorry and that never seems to be enough... I hope that she's alright... I know how much she loved her Oma... I let her know that I was here if she needed someone to talk to... I love ya krammit baby even if we haven't talked a lot lately, I've been thinking about ya.
Squirrels is such a sweetie, she found a copy of Go Ask Alice on ebay tonight... starting bid was only a buck... gawd I'm such a dink I don't even have a buck that I could put a bid on it... but thanks squirrels ;) was very thoughtful of you to send me the link... Speaking of Go Ask Alice... Shadow read it today for the first time... it was nice to see that it affected him as much as it always affects me when I read it...
Anyway I'm finally off to bed... I'm gonna be dragging my ass in the morning...gawww... Blog Ya Later
Friday, June 25, 2004
The Fun Of Having Kids
One of the things that we bought for Shadow for Father's Day was a box of "Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans" ... they really aren't kidding... here's the list of the f lavours: Black Pepper, Blueberry, Booger, Earthworm, Cherry, Cinnamon, Dirt, Ear Wax, Grape Jelly, Grass, Green Apple, Lemon Drop, Toasted Marshmallow, Buttered Popcorn, Sardine, Soap, Spaghetti, Spinach, Tutti-Fruitti and Vomit...
So Shadow said "well I doubt I'll open the jelly beans" so Gambit and I opened them today... LOL
We both ate one earlier that was brownish with black spots... we were trying to figure out if they tasted like dirt or earthworms... after chewin it for a minute I realized that mine tasted like dirt... so we decided we'd try one that was supposed to be the toasted marshmallow to get rid of the dirt taste...it worked...
If ya look at the pictures of the jelly beans on the back of the box you'll notice that for every one that tastes good there is one that will look VERY similiar to it... so ya have to be very careful...
So I pulled one out a couple of minutes ago it was yellowish with red spots... so I looked at the pictures and noticed that spaghetti and vomit look exactly like that... hmm so I looked from the jelly bean in my hand to the pictures on the box, back and forth bean in hand to pic on box... so finally I handed it to Gambit and said here I think this one is spaghetti... he popped it in his mouth and I said or it could be vomit flavoured... he had already started chewing it... all of a sudden his face crumpled a bit... and he looks up at me like he wants to spit and says "I think it was vomit mom" I stifled my laughter and said "oh...sorry...here eat this one it's supposed to be a marshmallow one" turned and walked out of the bedroom and just started laughing...
WHAT?!? it's not like I was going to put it in my mouth when I thought it might be vomit flavoured... LMFAO...
I swear my poor kids... they have nothing but a big kid for a mom... so I suggest if ya wanna have some fun with yer kids buy some bertie bott's every flavoured beans and find all the ones that look disgusting and give them to yer kids ...
One of the things that we bought for Shadow for Father's Day was a box of "Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans" ... they really aren't kidding... here's the list of the f lavours: Black Pepper, Blueberry, Booger, Earthworm, Cherry, Cinnamon, Dirt, Ear Wax, Grape Jelly, Grass, Green Apple, Lemon Drop, Toasted Marshmallow, Buttered Popcorn, Sardine, Soap, Spaghetti, Spinach, Tutti-Fruitti and Vomit...
So Shadow said "well I doubt I'll open the jelly beans" so Gambit and I opened them today... LOL
We both ate one earlier that was brownish with black spots... we were trying to figure out if they tasted like dirt or earthworms... after chewin it for a minute I realized that mine tasted like dirt... so we decided we'd try one that was supposed to be the toasted marshmallow to get rid of the dirt taste...it worked...
If ya look at the pictures of the jelly beans on the back of the box you'll notice that for every one that tastes good there is one that will look VERY similiar to it... so ya have to be very careful...
So I pulled one out a couple of minutes ago it was yellowish with red spots... so I looked at the pictures and noticed that spaghetti and vomit look exactly like that... hmm so I looked from the jelly bean in my hand to the pictures on the box, back and forth bean in hand to pic on box... so finally I handed it to Gambit and said here I think this one is spaghetti... he popped it in his mouth and I said or it could be vomit flavoured... he had already started chewing it... all of a sudden his face crumpled a bit... and he looks up at me like he wants to spit and says "I think it was vomit mom" I stifled my laughter and said "oh...sorry...here eat this one it's supposed to be a marshmallow one" turned and walked out of the bedroom and just started laughing...
WHAT?!? it's not like I was going to put it in my mouth when I thought it might be vomit flavoured... LMFAO...
I swear my poor kids... they have nothing but a big kid for a mom... so I suggest if ya wanna have some fun with yer kids buy some bertie bott's every flavoured beans and find all the ones that look disgusting and give them to yer kids ...
| How to make a BabyGirlRae |
| Ingredients: 5 parts jealousy 5 parts crazyiness 1 part ego |
| Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add wisdom to taste! Do not overindulge! |
Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com
| How to make a Rae |
| Ingredients: 5 parts mercy 3 parts self-sufficiency 3 parts empathy |
| Method: Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of lovability |
I have nothing cool to bold
I have found some music that truly relaxes me... LOL It's crazy... most people use shit like beethoven or Yanni or some ocean sounds... nope me the lunatic listens to friggin ICP (Insane Clown Posse) to relax and calm down too... ok does this make any sense? A couple of angry wicked clowns screaming and singing and swearing calms me down right now...
when Anna said "Are you serious ICP??" the only thing I could think of is I guess their angr calms my anger... now don't get me wrong ICP isn't always screamin negative shit or anything... and truthfully if someone would have said "You are going to like ICP's music" I would have told them to go eat shit... because until last year I had only heard of them once and that was a few years ago from Sin (he's a juggalo) which I now understand why he always dressed up as an insane jester for Samhain (Halloween)... I didn't like ICP just because they seemed weird... well duh... I'm strange so why wouldn't I like them... then someone told me "just sit down and listen to some of their music" and he sent me some of their songs... ok so he was right... but of course I had to front that I didn't like them still... lol.. gawd forbid he be right..LOL
I'm not as angry as I was anymore... I've danced a lot... I've sung at the top of my lungs... I've screamed... and I've meditated...
I'm hating the phrase "Everything happens for a reason" how about "We make everything happen for our own reasons" I like that one better... at least it makes it seem like more of our own fate is in our hands... now mind you I do believe in Karma and I do believe that somethings happen for a reason... but not everything... we need to be able to have control of most aspects of our lives... if "everything" happened for a reason then people would be sitting on their asses waiting for "everything" to happen... right? we have to be theones to start the infamous ball rolling in order for "everything" too happen...
"When you refuse me you confuse me, what makes you think I'll let you in again, think again my friend, go on and use me and abuse me, I'll come out stronger in the end. Does it it make you sad to find yourself alone? Does it make you mad to find out I have grown?Did it hurt so bad to see the strength that I've shown? When ya answer the door, pick up the phone you won't find me cause I'm not coming home. You do not know how much this hurts me..."
I'm so friggin ticked...(LMFAO that was weird lets try that again...) I'm fucking pissed off (there that felt better) John Mayer and Maroon5 are playing together at Darien Lake and I have no money for tickets... now mind you for personal reasons I'd be standin there bawlin my eyes out most of the night, but it would have been nice to go see them both in concert...
"Baby if I think about you I think about love, darling if I live without you I live without love, and if I had the sun and moon they would be shining, I would give you both night and day"
Sorry getting wrapped up in my music again...LOL
What can I say I feel like makin love to you :D LOL
Well it seems that summer is officially here... why you ask... because every one of my weekends is getting booked up with something... starting next week.. we'll be going to pick up Keenan from his grandmothers on the 1st of July... last time he was on the phone with Shadow he said he didn't want to come home... of course this was after Shadow and his mother got into a "discussion" about how long he was supposed to staying there... seems to me that "grandma" has been convincing Keenan that he doesn't want to go home because he has his own room and lots of space to play... and to that I say FUCK YOU GRANDMA!!! his mother, father, brother and the rest of the clan are here and this is where he needs to be... I knew I couldn't trust her... *takes deep breath* anyway, so since she's being a bitch and not bringing home the clan is gathering and we're going to get him... and hopefully while I'm there I won't slaughter her...
"If I only could I'd set the world on fire"
The weekend of the 10th I'll be in Chatham visiting other clan members they have a pigroast every year... this year we're actually gonna make it :D YAY!!
"Fuck the beastie boys and the Dahli Lama...Fuck the world...Fuck 'em all...Fuck Oprah Fuck Opera...In this song I say Fuck 93 times"
Then hopefully on the 17th Shadow and I will be on our way to Montreal (well 20 minutes outside of) for a week... YAY a vacation and also will be meeting some awesome people... Deli, Mr Deli, Moonie, Obi, Ergo, Mr Ergo, Gar and Peachy if she gets a damn bus ticket to Chicago LOL
"I can see you near the bed when I look thru this tiny crack, you'll become much older now and I don't see you turning back, seven years in darkness I can only hope my wish comes true, that one day I'll get you in my hands AND I'LL PLAY WITH YOU!!"
After that I'm not sure but I'm sure there will be more plans...
Anywho I need to go and replant a flower with Gambit and empty some kitchen boxes...yeah yeah yeah I'm still not unpacked.. what can I say I hate it here and I don't want to be here...
I have found some music that truly relaxes me... LOL It's crazy... most people use shit like beethoven or Yanni or some ocean sounds... nope me the lunatic listens to friggin ICP (Insane Clown Posse) to relax and calm down too... ok does this make any sense? A couple of angry wicked clowns screaming and singing and swearing calms me down right now...
when Anna said "Are you serious ICP??" the only thing I could think of is I guess their angr calms my anger... now don't get me wrong ICP isn't always screamin negative shit or anything... and truthfully if someone would have said "You are going to like ICP's music" I would have told them to go eat shit... because until last year I had only heard of them once and that was a few years ago from Sin (he's a juggalo) which I now understand why he always dressed up as an insane jester for Samhain (Halloween)... I didn't like ICP just because they seemed weird... well duh... I'm strange so why wouldn't I like them... then someone told me "just sit down and listen to some of their music" and he sent me some of their songs... ok so he was right... but of course I had to front that I didn't like them still... lol.. gawd forbid he be right..LOL
I'm not as angry as I was anymore... I've danced a lot... I've sung at the top of my lungs... I've screamed... and I've meditated...
I'm hating the phrase "Everything happens for a reason" how about "We make everything happen for our own reasons" I like that one better... at least it makes it seem like more of our own fate is in our hands... now mind you I do believe in Karma and I do believe that somethings happen for a reason... but not everything... we need to be able to have control of most aspects of our lives... if "everything" happened for a reason then people would be sitting on their asses waiting for "everything" to happen... right? we have to be theones to start the infamous ball rolling in order for "everything" too happen...
"When you refuse me you confuse me, what makes you think I'll let you in again, think again my friend, go on and use me and abuse me, I'll come out stronger in the end. Does it it make you sad to find yourself alone? Does it make you mad to find out I have grown?Did it hurt so bad to see the strength that I've shown? When ya answer the door, pick up the phone you won't find me cause I'm not coming home. You do not know how much this hurts me..."
I'm so friggin ticked...(LMFAO that was weird lets try that again...) I'm fucking pissed off (there that felt better) John Mayer and Maroon5 are playing together at Darien Lake and I have no money for tickets... now mind you for personal reasons I'd be standin there bawlin my eyes out most of the night, but it would have been nice to go see them both in concert...
"Baby if I think about you I think about love, darling if I live without you I live without love, and if I had the sun and moon they would be shining, I would give you both night and day"
Sorry getting wrapped up in my music again...LOL
What can I say I feel like makin love to you :D LOL
Well it seems that summer is officially here... why you ask... because every one of my weekends is getting booked up with something... starting next week.. we'll be going to pick up Keenan from his grandmothers on the 1st of July... last time he was on the phone with Shadow he said he didn't want to come home... of course this was after Shadow and his mother got into a "discussion" about how long he was supposed to staying there... seems to me that "grandma" has been convincing Keenan that he doesn't want to go home because he has his own room and lots of space to play... and to that I say FUCK YOU GRANDMA!!! his mother, father, brother and the rest of the clan are here and this is where he needs to be... I knew I couldn't trust her... *takes deep breath* anyway, so since she's being a bitch and not bringing home the clan is gathering and we're going to get him... and hopefully while I'm there I won't slaughter her...
"If I only could I'd set the world on fire"
The weekend of the 10th I'll be in Chatham visiting other clan members they have a pigroast every year... this year we're actually gonna make it :D YAY!!
"Fuck the beastie boys and the Dahli Lama...Fuck the world...Fuck 'em all...Fuck Oprah Fuck Opera...In this song I say Fuck 93 times"
Then hopefully on the 17th Shadow and I will be on our way to Montreal (well 20 minutes outside of) for a week... YAY a vacation and also will be meeting some awesome people... Deli, Mr Deli, Moonie, Obi, Ergo, Mr Ergo, Gar and Peachy if she gets a damn bus ticket to Chicago LOL
"I can see you near the bed when I look thru this tiny crack, you'll become much older now and I don't see you turning back, seven years in darkness I can only hope my wish comes true, that one day I'll get you in my hands AND I'LL PLAY WITH YOU!!"
After that I'm not sure but I'm sure there will be more plans...
Anywho I need to go and replant a flower with Gambit and empty some kitchen boxes...yeah yeah yeah I'm still not unpacked.. what can I say I hate it here and I don't want to be here...
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Home Again Home Again
Ok so went to the graduation last night like I mentioned before...I was there on behalf of the Lions club to give out a bursary to a kid that would probably blow the money on beer money this summer rather then saving it for school books...
But I was sitting up on stage with the other guests that were all there doing the exact same thing...
As I was sitting there listening to the boring speeches and watching the kids get their diplomas, I started thinking about my highschool years... I started to feel nostalgic... I missed all my highschool friends that I used to hang around with... now mind you I still talk to and visit a few of them...such as Keebler, Jester, Krammit and a couple of others... but I miss the feeling of having a bunch of friends to chatter with everyday (probably why I'm a chat junkie) I came from a very little highschool... there was only about 500 students in total... so we always felt like a big family... anyway...kinda missed that last night.
"Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these sunken eyes and learn to see, all your life you were only waiting for this moment to be free, blackbird fly into the light of the dark black night."
I finally got my desk lamp on my desk so that I can have my cam on the small image size and it's not so dark... Yay me... LOL
"Cecilia I'm down on my knees begging ya please to come home"
Just got home not too long ago from Gambits soccer game... was his first game in net as goalie... must say he did better then the goalie from the first half...LOL he only had one goal go past him...but at least he dived for it to try to stop it...the little girl watched as the ball rolled by...LOL Lookin at the other families there watching there kids play I realized that Gambit is a lucky kid... he comes with a clan LOL Me, Shadow, My mom, my sister and Robert (his father)... other kids had moms and/or maybe dads... he did well... I hope he decides to stick with soccer he really seems to enjoy it... it was funny tho... we walked off the field and he said "hey mom listen tapping shoes" and started dancin on the street in his cleats...LOL... his father just shook his head looked at me and said "he's your kid" LOL to which I replied "of course he is"... I was in dancing for 10 years...LOL
His father says he's going to push Gambit to take hockey in the winter... I told him to feel free but I and my family would not be paying for hockey... it's too damn expensive...
"all day and all night and everything that he sees is blue"
*sigh* well Robert has court tomorrow... I forgot that I was supposed to type out an affidavit for him for it... I woke up to the phone ringing... saw it was him and started yellin shit shit shit... so I sat down and spent the rest of the afternoon... hopefully it'll help him out...
"Someone is always someone elses one"
So am I tired? enh yeah kind of... feeling more blah then tired... it was nice talking with Moonie and Deli on the phone today tho... they always seem to cheer me up... was having a frantic day with forgetting the affidavit and the computer acting up... it was a nice break to get away from it and think about other stuff instead...
"I don't worry cause worrying is a waste of my time"
However I am back to feeling blah...
"been so long since he's been on so please show me what it is that you wanna see"
Talking to a girl I met in the room last night...her name is Jessica... we're talking about regrets... interesting conversation to get into the first time you chat one on one with a person...
"She don't know she's beautiful, never crossed her mind, tho time and time I've told her so"
Hmm anyway... dunno what else to write about... last night was too weird to blog about... LOL...
Gonna go relax and listen to some ICP...LOL yes I relax to ICP... don't ask...
Ok so went to the graduation last night like I mentioned before...I was there on behalf of the Lions club to give out a bursary to a kid that would probably blow the money on beer money this summer rather then saving it for school books...
But I was sitting up on stage with the other guests that were all there doing the exact same thing...
As I was sitting there listening to the boring speeches and watching the kids get their diplomas, I started thinking about my highschool years... I started to feel nostalgic... I missed all my highschool friends that I used to hang around with... now mind you I still talk to and visit a few of them...such as Keebler, Jester, Krammit and a couple of others... but I miss the feeling of having a bunch of friends to chatter with everyday (probably why I'm a chat junkie) I came from a very little highschool... there was only about 500 students in total... so we always felt like a big family... anyway...kinda missed that last night.
"Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these sunken eyes and learn to see, all your life you were only waiting for this moment to be free, blackbird fly into the light of the dark black night."
I finally got my desk lamp on my desk so that I can have my cam on the small image size and it's not so dark... Yay me... LOL
"Cecilia I'm down on my knees begging ya please to come home"
Just got home not too long ago from Gambits soccer game... was his first game in net as goalie... must say he did better then the goalie from the first half...LOL he only had one goal go past him...but at least he dived for it to try to stop it...the little girl watched as the ball rolled by...LOL Lookin at the other families there watching there kids play I realized that Gambit is a lucky kid... he comes with a clan LOL Me, Shadow, My mom, my sister and Robert (his father)... other kids had moms and/or maybe dads... he did well... I hope he decides to stick with soccer he really seems to enjoy it... it was funny tho... we walked off the field and he said "hey mom listen tapping shoes" and started dancin on the street in his cleats...LOL... his father just shook his head looked at me and said "he's your kid" LOL to which I replied "of course he is"... I was in dancing for 10 years...LOL
His father says he's going to push Gambit to take hockey in the winter... I told him to feel free but I and my family would not be paying for hockey... it's too damn expensive...
"all day and all night and everything that he sees is blue"
*sigh* well Robert has court tomorrow... I forgot that I was supposed to type out an affidavit for him for it... I woke up to the phone ringing... saw it was him and started yellin shit shit shit... so I sat down and spent the rest of the afternoon... hopefully it'll help him out...
"Someone is always someone elses one"
So am I tired? enh yeah kind of... feeling more blah then tired... it was nice talking with Moonie and Deli on the phone today tho... they always seem to cheer me up... was having a frantic day with forgetting the affidavit and the computer acting up... it was a nice break to get away from it and think about other stuff instead...
"I don't worry cause worrying is a waste of my time"
However I am back to feeling blah...
"been so long since he's been on so please show me what it is that you wanna see"
Talking to a girl I met in the room last night...her name is Jessica... we're talking about regrets... interesting conversation to get into the first time you chat one on one with a person...
"She don't know she's beautiful, never crossed her mind, tho time and time I've told her so"
Hmm anyway... dunno what else to write about... last night was too weird to blog about... LOL...
Gonna go relax and listen to some ICP...LOL yes I relax to ICP... don't ask...
Went to the Graduation....(tell ya more about it later)
Had a good night in chat, least it ended on a good note (might tell ya more about that later...doubt it but I might)
Had more bacon...(blech getting sick of bacon)
Like the light that the desk lamp gives off... (not telling ya anything about that)
Going to watch Gambit play soccer tomorrow (I guess tonight) it'll be his first time as goalie... (tell ya how he did later)
I'm real real tired... (don't have to tell ya about that later...you'll all hear about that later I'm sure)
Just because you don't say it doesn't mean I don't see it...
Going to bed... Talk To Ya Later
Had a good night in chat, least it ended on a good note (might tell ya more about that later...doubt it but I might)
Had more bacon...(blech getting sick of bacon)
Like the light that the desk lamp gives off... (not telling ya anything about that)
Going to watch Gambit play soccer tomorrow (I guess tonight) it'll be his first time as goalie... (tell ya how he did later)
I'm real real tired... (don't have to tell ya about that later...you'll all hear about that later I'm sure)
Just because you don't say it doesn't mean I don't see it...
Going to bed... Talk To Ya Later
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Hmmm...
So was told today that I have set the standard... interesting way of putting it... I guess that bathroom scene shall forever be etched in his mind... yet he doesn't remember the beef episode on the couch (LMFAO) maybe that one's just more mememorable to me cause I couldn't do anything but laugh everytime he would say it... while he was busy doing something else... (Daddy close yer eyes for this blog LOL)
But god that was embarassing when he was giving step by step instructions on how to find my g-spot, I was over here absolutely going red...I just wanted to slink and hide under my desk, I couldn't believe it... what freaked me out was the fact that even tho I'm not there and haven't been for awhile he still knew exactly where it was...
I couldn't even think at the time of something embarassing to hit him back with either...
GRRR sister finally showed up...I'll finish this later
So was told today that I have set the standard... interesting way of putting it... I guess that bathroom scene shall forever be etched in his mind... yet he doesn't remember the beef episode on the couch (LMFAO) maybe that one's just more mememorable to me cause I couldn't do anything but laugh everytime he would say it... while he was busy doing something else... (Daddy close yer eyes for this blog LOL)
But god that was embarassing when he was giving step by step instructions on how to find my g-spot, I was over here absolutely going red...I just wanted to slink and hide under my desk, I couldn't believe it... what freaked me out was the fact that even tho I'm not there and haven't been for awhile he still knew exactly where it was...
I couldn't even think at the time of something embarassing to hit him back with either...
GRRR sister finally showed up...I'll finish this later
Holy Crap
Was talking to Paulie today on the phone... he asked me what was wrong... I gave him the cliff notes... he was pissed... took me over a half an hour to calm him down... he was ranting about all kinds of things... then he says to me "You know South Carolina isn't that far away...and I'm off this week"
well holy damn that started it again... anyway got him calm...
Told him not to worry about it... that I was fine and I was alright and I just want it behind me now...
Anyway, that aside...
Had a really good day today... I Love Moonie and Anna and all the regs...sometimes they're just so fucking funny... they had me in tears from laughing so hard today... Moonie actually made milk come out Anna's nose at one point...LOL
I'm tired and have a headache now from all the laughing... I need to get a drink so I can take some Aleve...
not much else to say really...I love my lil jets and heli...they're sitting on my speaker...they're so cute...but anyway...
Yeah I think I may go to bed...since Anna disappeared on me, Night has left, Moonie's gone to bed with Obi, and frankly cause I'm tired...LOL
Night
Was talking to Paulie today on the phone... he asked me what was wrong... I gave him the cliff notes... he was pissed... took me over a half an hour to calm him down... he was ranting about all kinds of things... then he says to me "You know South Carolina isn't that far away...and I'm off this week"
well holy damn that started it again... anyway got him calm...
Told him not to worry about it... that I was fine and I was alright and I just want it behind me now...
Anyway, that aside...
Had a really good day today... I Love Moonie and Anna and all the regs...sometimes they're just so fucking funny... they had me in tears from laughing so hard today... Moonie actually made milk come out Anna's nose at one point...LOL
I'm tired and have a headache now from all the laughing... I need to get a drink so I can take some Aleve...
not much else to say really...I love my lil jets and heli...they're sitting on my speaker...they're so cute...but anyway...
Yeah I think I may go to bed...since Anna disappeared on me, Night has left, Moonie's gone to bed with Obi, and frankly cause I'm tired...LOL
Night
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Karma
The law of karma, says only this:
`for every event that occurs, there will follow another event whose existence was caused by the first, and this second event will be pleasant or unpleasant according as its cause was skillful or unskillful.'
A skillful event is one that is not accompanied by craving, resistance or delusions; an unskillful event is one that is accompanied by any one of those things.
(Events are not skillful in themselves, but are so called only in virtue of the mental events that occur with them.)
The law of karma, says only this:
`for every event that occurs, there will follow another event whose existence was caused by the first, and this second event will be pleasant or unpleasant according as its cause was skillful or unskillful.'
A skillful event is one that is not accompanied by craving, resistance or delusions; an unskillful event is one that is accompanied by any one of those things.
(Events are not skillful in themselves, but are so called only in virtue of the mental events that occur with them.)
You Must Not Really Know Me Like I Thought You Did
I can't believe that you think I could do something so sneaky and under handed...
Do you know me at all? I thought you did... After all this time of talking and being friends and sharing stuff about our lives... I at least thought you got some kind of inkling as to who I was and what I am like...
and then even after me explaining myself you still didn't believe me... what's up with that?
And here I thought we were good friends...gawww
*sigh* oh well as I said earlier this morning c'est la vie... I'm not dwelling on it anymore, if I did it would drive me insane...lol
Get over it, I am.
Anyway on that note...
Listening to some Big Sugar and trying to figure out what the hell I was supposed to be doing today...LOL
"Dear Mr Fantasy play us a tune, something to make us all happy, do anything, take us out of this gloom, sing a song, play guitar make it snappy"
I think for now I shall go shower and get dressed...Blog Ya Later
I can't believe that you think I could do something so sneaky and under handed...
Do you know me at all? I thought you did... After all this time of talking and being friends and sharing stuff about our lives... I at least thought you got some kind of inkling as to who I was and what I am like...
and then even after me explaining myself you still didn't believe me... what's up with that?
And here I thought we were good friends...gawww
*sigh* oh well as I said earlier this morning c'est la vie... I'm not dwelling on it anymore, if I did it would drive me insane...lol
Get over it, I am.
Anyway on that note...
Listening to some Big Sugar and trying to figure out what the hell I was supposed to be doing today...LOL
"Dear Mr Fantasy play us a tune, something to make us all happy, do anything, take us out of this gloom, sing a song, play guitar make it snappy"
I think for now I shall go shower and get dressed...Blog Ya Later
Building Jets..oh yeah and a Helicopter
Earlier this afternoon I built five lil jets and a helicopter...
I put together a F-22, an AV-8B Harrier, a F-117A Nighthawk, a Senior Crown SR-71, a F-14 Tomcat and an AH-64 Apache...
I felt kinda manly putting together little jets...it was fun... now I want more to put together... lol
I'm such a big kid sometimes...
maybe I'll go back to the store and get some more...LOL of course in a couple of weeks... LOL
Anyway...onwards and upwards...
Earlier this afternoon I built five lil jets and a helicopter...
I put together a F-22, an AV-8B Harrier, a F-117A Nighthawk, a Senior Crown SR-71, a F-14 Tomcat and an AH-64 Apache...
I felt kinda manly putting together little jets...it was fun... now I want more to put together... lol
I'm such a big kid sometimes...
maybe I'll go back to the store and get some more...LOL of course in a couple of weeks... LOL
Anyway...onwards and upwards...
"what was once there isn't now and never will be again"
I do believe thats what you said wasn't it...?
thanks for finally explaining yourself, too bad it wasn't too me it was to someone else while I listened...but thank you.
Why didn't you just say that in the first place and save me oh so much time?
And wow the things you find out about your friends that they can't tell you themselves but can tell someone else...
I would find out of course I would...and people wonder why I haven't been around much...
It's been hard for me it really has... I'm so glad that everyone else can pick up and move on and be excited about the idea... sorry if I'm a little slow when it comes to things like that... but when I have been left in the dark thats what happens... I have seen the light (damn sounded religious there)...
oh well...
c'est la vie
I do believe thats what you said wasn't it...?
thanks for finally explaining yourself, too bad it wasn't too me it was to someone else while I listened...but thank you.
Why didn't you just say that in the first place and save me oh so much time?
And wow the things you find out about your friends that they can't tell you themselves but can tell someone else...
I would find out of course I would...and people wonder why I haven't been around much...
It's been hard for me it really has... I'm so glad that everyone else can pick up and move on and be excited about the idea... sorry if I'm a little slow when it comes to things like that... but when I have been left in the dark thats what happens... I have seen the light (damn sounded religious there)...
oh well...
c'est la vie
Monday, June 21, 2004
Stupid People
Most people who really know me, know that my ultimate pet peeve is stupid people followed closely by smart people who do stupid things... however this blog is about the aforementioned...
one person inparticular... My sisters husband... he has to be the stupidest person I have ever met...
he picked us up for our meeting tonight (last one until september) but he had to drop off two letters for my sister at two buildings which are down the street... he pulls into the parking lot of the first building...well the back of the building is the side that faces that particular road... I said Scott you have to take it around to the front of the building...he had stopped the truck at the back...I pointed towards the front of the building...he looks at me...takes his seatbelt off...I'm thinkin in my head...gawd yer a dumbass... I said it's over there and pointed again... he says "oh...i didn't realize there was a front on this building" I swear to the gods and everything holy that this is actually what he said...he pulls around to the front, puts the truck in park, got out and went in... I turned to Shadow and excliamed "damn he's fucking stupid I didn't realize there was a front to this building he can't seriously be that stupid" Shadow just shook his head...
Then he goes to the next building...wasn't as stupid at that one...but still was stupid says "I guess I have to go over there to drop it off" yeah usually going to the front would help... gawd I just wanted to slit my wrists I swear... gawd he's dumb...
Not to mention the fact that he went 20 miles out of the way to get us to the meeting... needless to say... It "irrated" the hell out of me...(just for you Paulie LOL)
The meeting isn't even worth mentioning...it was dumb as well...sometimes I wonder why I go... At least Paulie was there... he makes the meetings fun for me...
Blah...anyway thats it for now...I'll probably end up posting again before bed...yay aren't you so lucky...LOL
Most people who really know me, know that my ultimate pet peeve is stupid people followed closely by smart people who do stupid things... however this blog is about the aforementioned...
one person inparticular... My sisters husband... he has to be the stupidest person I have ever met...
he picked us up for our meeting tonight (last one until september) but he had to drop off two letters for my sister at two buildings which are down the street... he pulls into the parking lot of the first building...well the back of the building is the side that faces that particular road... I said Scott you have to take it around to the front of the building...he had stopped the truck at the back...I pointed towards the front of the building...he looks at me...takes his seatbelt off...I'm thinkin in my head...gawd yer a dumbass... I said it's over there and pointed again... he says "oh...i didn't realize there was a front on this building" I swear to the gods and everything holy that this is actually what he said...he pulls around to the front, puts the truck in park, got out and went in... I turned to Shadow and excliamed "damn he's fucking stupid I didn't realize there was a front to this building he can't seriously be that stupid" Shadow just shook his head...
Then he goes to the next building...wasn't as stupid at that one...but still was stupid says "I guess I have to go over there to drop it off" yeah usually going to the front would help... gawd I just wanted to slit my wrists I swear... gawd he's dumb...
Not to mention the fact that he went 20 miles out of the way to get us to the meeting... needless to say... It "irrated" the hell out of me...(just for you Paulie LOL)
The meeting isn't even worth mentioning...it was dumb as well...sometimes I wonder why I go... At least Paulie was there... he makes the meetings fun for me...
Blah...anyway thats it for now...I'll probably end up posting again before bed...yay aren't you so lucky...LOL
Why Is Music So Important??
Sometimes I'm so happy that Shadow understands me the way he does... after 31 1/2 hours of no sleep I was pretty messed up on Friday (yeah I know I already said that)
anyway...if I start to lose my concentration on anything I start to feel confused and irritated and I get really freaked out...
A lot of the times I can keep that kind of stuff at bay if I listen to music...
no one has understood that...
If I'm in a car...and there is no conversation happening... I have to listen to music...or I start to feel a bit perplexed... I'd say insane but then my friends would just start joking that I am... but this is serious... for the most part I can't stand silence... when I'm faced with silence I find a lyric from a song I like or the last one I heard and latch onto it... it becomes like a mantra in my mind...so that I can keep my mind occupied so that the noise doesn't start in my head that makes me feel so...enh... I have no word to describe how I feel when that happens... confused, lost, perplexed, agitated, and those don't even really describe it well...
At my very first women's weekend we had a fire walk on the saturday night... and for an hour before the ritual started we had to spend it in complete silence...no talking no music no nothing... imagine that 40 to 50 women in complete silence for an hour... to me it was fucking torture... I just kept chanting in my head...all the chants I had been learning from the weekend... I told Sugar about it after the hour was up...i went out for a smoke with her... she was the first to tell me that, that wasn't normal... I was like well thats no surprise there...LOL
I wake up in the morning... I put on my music... if I'm in the chatroom and no one is talking on the mic I have music playing... and even then if someone is talking then I have the TV going in the background here in the livingroom... and my music stays going all day long...
Music helps me cope with the everyday crap and the not so everyday crap...
I don't know why music is so important to me except that it pretty much keeps me sane...
Sometimes I'm so happy that Shadow understands me the way he does... after 31 1/2 hours of no sleep I was pretty messed up on Friday (yeah I know I already said that)
anyway...if I start to lose my concentration on anything I start to feel confused and irritated and I get really freaked out...
A lot of the times I can keep that kind of stuff at bay if I listen to music...
no one has understood that...
If I'm in a car...and there is no conversation happening... I have to listen to music...or I start to feel a bit perplexed... I'd say insane but then my friends would just start joking that I am... but this is serious... for the most part I can't stand silence... when I'm faced with silence I find a lyric from a song I like or the last one I heard and latch onto it... it becomes like a mantra in my mind...so that I can keep my mind occupied so that the noise doesn't start in my head that makes me feel so...enh... I have no word to describe how I feel when that happens... confused, lost, perplexed, agitated, and those don't even really describe it well...
At my very first women's weekend we had a fire walk on the saturday night... and for an hour before the ritual started we had to spend it in complete silence...no talking no music no nothing... imagine that 40 to 50 women in complete silence for an hour... to me it was fucking torture... I just kept chanting in my head...all the chants I had been learning from the weekend... I told Sugar about it after the hour was up...i went out for a smoke with her... she was the first to tell me that, that wasn't normal... I was like well thats no surprise there...LOL
I wake up in the morning... I put on my music... if I'm in the chatroom and no one is talking on the mic I have music playing... and even then if someone is talking then I have the TV going in the background here in the livingroom... and my music stays going all day long...
Music helps me cope with the everyday crap and the not so everyday crap...
I don't know why music is so important to me except that it pretty much keeps me sane...
"A Man's Blood Soon Runs Cold When There Is No One Around To Warm It Up"
I miss my old life...
the one I used to have in highschool...the one that I tried so hard to hide from my parents...
Sometimes I wonder how I ever made it thru highschool...
As I sit and think about how I want to put this and how much I want to say...there's a little voice in the back of my head saying "now now shhh we don't want to put those thoughts here...your dad reads this, remember?"
and to that voice...the one left over from my childhood days, the one that would keep me from getting caught, the voice that helped my hone my lying ability...SHUT UP!!! LMAO
I'm 25 friggin years old...if I write something that my dad doesn't like and is gonna hold against me...then thats his problem...LOL
Not just that...my dad is cool ;) and I know that whatever I did...he probably did a few times as a kid too...
I miss wild parties... I miss getting high at school... I miss going skinny dipping... I miss getting drunk and then arguing with others about who was drunker... I miss not having a care in the world and thinking I knew everything... I miss being smarter then my parents... I miss being able to wear whatever I wanted and not caring whether or not people liked it...
Even tho I miss all the stuff I used to do ad how I used to be... I wouldn't necessarily get into the old routine of drinking and getting high like I did in highschool... There was a reason I started going to the Ala-Teen program and it wasn't just to support a friend like I said it was...
I just find it so odd that I would miss such strange stuff...
enh...maybe I'll get into it another time...LOL
I miss my old life...
the one I used to have in highschool...the one that I tried so hard to hide from my parents...
Sometimes I wonder how I ever made it thru highschool...
As I sit and think about how I want to put this and how much I want to say...there's a little voice in the back of my head saying "now now shhh we don't want to put those thoughts here...your dad reads this, remember?"
and to that voice...the one left over from my childhood days, the one that would keep me from getting caught, the voice that helped my hone my lying ability...SHUT UP!!! LMAO
I'm 25 friggin years old...if I write something that my dad doesn't like and is gonna hold against me...then thats his problem...LOL
Not just that...my dad is cool ;) and I know that whatever I did...he probably did a few times as a kid too...
I miss wild parties... I miss getting high at school... I miss going skinny dipping... I miss getting drunk and then arguing with others about who was drunker... I miss not having a care in the world and thinking I knew everything... I miss being smarter then my parents... I miss being able to wear whatever I wanted and not caring whether or not people liked it...
Even tho I miss all the stuff I used to do ad how I used to be... I wouldn't necessarily get into the old routine of drinking and getting high like I did in highschool... There was a reason I started going to the Ala-Teen program and it wasn't just to support a friend like I said it was...
I just find it so odd that I would miss such strange stuff...
enh...maybe I'll get into it another time...LOL
Sunday, June 20, 2004
"What would ya do with a drunken hillbilly?"
I'm home... I'm awake... but I'm fucking starving....
should I start from now and work backwards until friday... or start from friday and work my way forward til now... hmm I'll think about that while I go make toast... ok I couldn't figure out which way I should do it...
Alrighty then Shadow just made the decision for me :D
I think you'll have to wait til I'm done making food...I'm bouncing up and down in and out of my chair...
Friday- As many know and were nice enough to share the experience with me... I was up for 31 1/2 hours straight... by the time I went to bed on friday night I was completely messed up... anyway got picked up by my sister and went down to my mom's house...watched the movie O Brother Where Art Thou with the family...all in all not too much happened on Friday...
Saturday- Got up at 8 am..made breakfast for Gambit and myself...everyone else got their own...Shadow, Gambit, My Sister and I all went to the Seaway Mall in Welland... I was dropping my sister off because she was selling more raffle tickets there... Gambit and I walked around a couple stores looking for some fathers day presents for his two dads...lol...so we got some stuff for Shadow and for Gambits dad Robert...After shopping, the 3 of us...(Gambit Shadow and I) came back home here...made ourselves some sandwiches and collected up the stuff Shadow and I would need for that night...(clothes and such)...Then drove to the library to drop of the movies we had and said hello to Keziah...Then I drove back down to Crystal Beach dropped of Gambit at a birthday party...went to go visit Jester since we told him we'd stop by...stayed there for a bit talking to him...then we (Shadow and I) drove to Fort Erie to the Celtic Event (aka The Highland Games) got there in time to watch Konga play in the finale of the pipes and drum bands...Shadow saw a guy from work there...after they were finished the finale we went over to say hello to Konga...mmmm konga huuuugs...I love that guy, he gives such good hugs...listened to a couple of the P & D Bands in the beer tent...said bye to Konga....and off we went to Tristen's and Joyce's in Wainfleet...we missed of the games...but thats ok...the still had the archery contest to do...so I went up and took my practice shots...my first one went way offpast the target...past the back board...past the cut grass...into grass that came up probably up to my waist...omg...lol anyway all in all it was fun...it stopped being fun when Ubu got there...(another story for another time about Ubu)...but all in all I tried not to let it bother me...and I enjoyed being back with my friends...it did feel weird tho...anyway we left there...drove all the way back into Port Colborne to pick up some Mickey D's...then drove all the way back into Thorold...man it was like a quick tour of the southern part of the Niagara Region...went into the room for a bit when I got home then went to bed about 3 am...
Sunday- got up at 8:40 am the phone was ringing...I run out to the kitchen...it was only the Lions calling...I still had 20 minutes before I told my sister that I would be there...got dressed...wished Shadow a happy fathers day then told him to hurry up and get his ass outta bed...LOL (as you'll notice I got dressed before wishing him a happy fathers day :P) ya pervs... anyway...goot to the hall for the brunch the Lions club was putting on...and there was my mom, gambit, my sister, and Robert...my mother giving me the your late look...which technically I wasn't I never told anyone a specific time I would be there...and I told them that...and my sister said "well I told them you'd be here at 9" I said well ya shouldn't have done that now ya look like a liar...anyway...they all left...Shadow and I stayed to help like we said we would...it was fun...got to horse around a bit with the guys...we didn't do so well...I think the treasurer said we only sold about 50 tickets...grrr...we need a fundrasier where we can make money and make get people to come out to it...*sigh* anyway... Shadow and I got a ride home from Sully...my loves my Sully (ok I don't actually call him that, but most of my friends that I like have neat nicknames in my blog) anyway...tomorrow is meeting day...we'll see how that goes...
Got home...was so icky feeling because of all the bacon grease floatin around in the air...needed a shower...so Shadow and I took a shower...I came out here and tried to blog...but something was up with it's servers or soemthing...anyway...said fuck it...went into the bedroom and laid there and watched the movie "Little Witches" (which btw Shadow I was right I was right :P) anyway, I fell asleep during the movie...Shadow tried to wake me up at 8 pm but I guess that wasn't happening...woke up on my own after a very very very very odd dream (again another story for another time)at about 10 pm... which pretty much leads me til now... oh yeah I also hurt my air...the string from the bow snapped back and hit me in the arm twice...two different spots... and the other thing we had so much food leftover that everyone who worked the brunch this morning got to take home some of it...the divided it equally and we got about 5 lbs of bacon, 3 lbs of sausages and 3 loaves of bread and 2 jugs of orange juice...and there was apprx 5 of us...can we say OVER ORDERED...??
Anyway...so now that it's down on paper/screen it doesn't look like I did too much...but man am I ever tired...lol I feel like I have Barney Rubble feet...
I still feel extremely tired...I think when Shadow gets back from his walk I'm just gonna go to bed with him...now don't everyone faint...LOL
"Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly, all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arrive..."
I'm home... I'm awake... but I'm fucking starving....
should I start from now and work backwards until friday... or start from friday and work my way forward til now... hmm I'll think about that while I go make toast... ok I couldn't figure out which way I should do it...
Alrighty then Shadow just made the decision for me :D
I think you'll have to wait til I'm done making food...I'm bouncing up and down in and out of my chair...
Friday- As many know and were nice enough to share the experience with me... I was up for 31 1/2 hours straight... by the time I went to bed on friday night I was completely messed up... anyway got picked up by my sister and went down to my mom's house...watched the movie O Brother Where Art Thou with the family...all in all not too much happened on Friday...
Saturday- Got up at 8 am..made breakfast for Gambit and myself...everyone else got their own...Shadow, Gambit, My Sister and I all went to the Seaway Mall in Welland... I was dropping my sister off because she was selling more raffle tickets there... Gambit and I walked around a couple stores looking for some fathers day presents for his two dads...lol...so we got some stuff for Shadow and for Gambits dad Robert...After shopping, the 3 of us...(Gambit Shadow and I) came back home here...made ourselves some sandwiches and collected up the stuff Shadow and I would need for that night...(clothes and such)...Then drove to the library to drop of the movies we had and said hello to Keziah...Then I drove back down to Crystal Beach dropped of Gambit at a birthday party...went to go visit Jester since we told him we'd stop by...stayed there for a bit talking to him...then we (Shadow and I) drove to Fort Erie to the Celtic Event (aka The Highland Games) got there in time to watch Konga play in the finale of the pipes and drum bands...Shadow saw a guy from work there...after they were finished the finale we went over to say hello to Konga...mmmm konga huuuugs...I love that guy, he gives such good hugs...listened to a couple of the P & D Bands in the beer tent...said bye to Konga....and off we went to Tristen's and Joyce's in Wainfleet...we missed of the games...but thats ok...the still had the archery contest to do...so I went up and took my practice shots...my first one went way offpast the target...past the back board...past the cut grass...into grass that came up probably up to my waist...omg...lol anyway all in all it was fun...it stopped being fun when Ubu got there...(another story for another time about Ubu)...but all in all I tried not to let it bother me...and I enjoyed being back with my friends...it did feel weird tho...anyway we left there...drove all the way back into Port Colborne to pick up some Mickey D's...then drove all the way back into Thorold...man it was like a quick tour of the southern part of the Niagara Region...went into the room for a bit when I got home then went to bed about 3 am...
Sunday- got up at 8:40 am the phone was ringing...I run out to the kitchen...it was only the Lions calling...I still had 20 minutes before I told my sister that I would be there...got dressed...wished Shadow a happy fathers day then told him to hurry up and get his ass outta bed...LOL (as you'll notice I got dressed before wishing him a happy fathers day :P) ya pervs... anyway...goot to the hall for the brunch the Lions club was putting on...and there was my mom, gambit, my sister, and Robert...my mother giving me the your late look...which technically I wasn't I never told anyone a specific time I would be there...and I told them that...and my sister said "well I told them you'd be here at 9" I said well ya shouldn't have done that now ya look like a liar...anyway...they all left...Shadow and I stayed to help like we said we would...it was fun...got to horse around a bit with the guys...we didn't do so well...I think the treasurer said we only sold about 50 tickets...grrr...we need a fundrasier where we can make money and make get people to come out to it...*sigh* anyway... Shadow and I got a ride home from Sully...my loves my Sully (ok I don't actually call him that, but most of my friends that I like have neat nicknames in my blog) anyway...tomorrow is meeting day...we'll see how that goes...
Got home...was so icky feeling because of all the bacon grease floatin around in the air...needed a shower...so Shadow and I took a shower...I came out here and tried to blog...but something was up with it's servers or soemthing...anyway...said fuck it...went into the bedroom and laid there and watched the movie "Little Witches" (which btw Shadow I was right I was right :P) anyway, I fell asleep during the movie...Shadow tried to wake me up at 8 pm but I guess that wasn't happening...woke up on my own after a very very very very odd dream (again another story for another time)at about 10 pm... which pretty much leads me til now... oh yeah I also hurt my air...the string from the bow snapped back and hit me in the arm twice...two different spots... and the other thing we had so much food leftover that everyone who worked the brunch this morning got to take home some of it...the divided it equally and we got about 5 lbs of bacon, 3 lbs of sausages and 3 loaves of bread and 2 jugs of orange juice...and there was apprx 5 of us...can we say OVER ORDERED...??
Anyway...so now that it's down on paper/screen it doesn't look like I did too much...but man am I ever tired...lol I feel like I have Barney Rubble feet...
I still feel extremely tired...I think when Shadow gets back from his walk I'm just gonna go to bed with him...now don't everyone faint...LOL
"Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly, all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arrive..."
I don't have but 2 minutes before I am going to be leaving...
I'll tell you all about my entire weekend when I get home from the Father's Day Brunch... sounds like something kind of cool and fun eh? think again I'll be working in the kitchen... LOL
Anyway, I'll Blog Later when I get home
Gawd it was so good to see Konga yesterday...*sigh*
right right right I gotta go....
namaste
I'll tell you all about my entire weekend when I get home from the Father's Day Brunch... sounds like something kind of cool and fun eh? think again I'll be working in the kitchen... LOL
Anyway, I'll Blog Later when I get home
Gawd it was so good to see Konga yesterday...*sigh*
right right right I gotta go....
namaste
Friday, June 18, 2004
Ok so it's twenty after four and I'm still going strong....ok maybe not strong...maybe going slowly... ahh who the fuck am I kidding I'm barely awake...LOL
yep over 24 hours now... just so I can go to bed at the same time as the rest of my family tonight....gawww the sacrifices we make for the people we call family...
Good night yahoo for the night... I might be around LATE tomorrow...but not for long as I have to go work a fathers day brunch on Sunday morning... *sigh*
well at least I'll get a good nights sleep tonight...
Anyway I have to get the rest of my stuff together...
Blog Ya Later
yep over 24 hours now... just so I can go to bed at the same time as the rest of my family tonight....gawww the sacrifices we make for the people we call family...
Good night yahoo for the night... I might be around LATE tomorrow...but not for long as I have to go work a fathers day brunch on Sunday morning... *sigh*
well at least I'll get a good nights sleep tonight...
Anyway I have to get the rest of my stuff together...
Blog Ya Later
"Look for that girl with the broken smile and ask her if she'll stay awhile and she will be loved..."
Thats it I'm fuckin outta here...I swear to god... West Nile has strted popping up already... next will be Mad Cow again...followed closely in third place by SARS... *sigh*
I fucking hate it here.. I don't want to be here... I want to go home...
Shadow and I had this conversation in Tim Hortons yesterday... he said he doesn't feel like the Niagara Region is home anymore...I said I haven't felt at home anywhere here in a long long long time... they say home is where your heart is but.... well I won't get into that... let's just say neither one of us feels at home anymore... I dunno if it's with each other or just in general...
Most everyone doesn't know this yet but Shadow hopefully will be getting some information from work soon as to a possible transfer to the Phillipines (sp) I'm hoping that he can get it... as much as I would miss Canada...I need to get the fuck outta here...
"My porch light is on and I've unlocked my door, my eyes are red and my throat is sore, I've checked my mail and watched my phone, and I wonder when you're coming home and while I count my regrets I'm gonna smoke 100 cigarettes"
Fuck there ain't nothing like a good harmonica solo by Mr Chill...early in the morning when you've had no sleep, too many cigarettes and a pain in your heart... Gordy could sing to me all day and I'd have no problems with that...everyone needs a lil bit o' Big Sugar...
Shadow is finished his smoking fast... I knew he wouldn't be a quitter..LMAO
"and while I'm counting my regrets I'm gonna smoke 100 cigarettes, before I see the rising sun I believe I smoked 101"
Last night was fun...thanks to all who were there...LOL... flirtin and teasin is always best done in groups...LOL
"Dear Mr Fantasy play us a tune something to make us all happy, do anything to take us out of this gloom, sing a song play guitar make it snappy"
You should've never asked me to look into my cam that night....you weren't ready for it...LMAO...do me a favour rack your brain and remember your tarot reading... ;)
"Brothers and Sisters are ya ready??"
Gotta love secret messages that are out in the open...aren't they annoying...???
"baby's tired all the time, swear ya gonna lose me, girl ya gonna lose yer mind"
BTW did I happen to mention that this will be extremely fragmented?? LMAO
my thoughts are so all over the place...I need a nice big butterfly net to catch all my thoughts and then shove them all back into my head thru my head... my body feels like jello...yet my muscles are stiff and sore... my head feels groggy...yet the thoughts are so clear when they fly by...
"so I want to say thank you, cause it makes me that much stronger, makes me work a little bit harder, makes me that much wiser, thanks for making me fighter, made me learn a little bit faster, makes my skin a little bit thicker, makes me that much smarter, thanks for making me a fighter"
I need to thicken up my skin...metaphorically of course...
"thought I would forget but I remember"
Yes lots of music this morning... I need it to keep my head straight...sometimes it feels like if I don't have music I would hear too many conversations in my head that would drive me bonkers...yeah yeah yeah I know I'm already bonkers...but at least I'm fit enough to walk among the public...sometimes the thoughts and voices are so overpowering that I can't think straight...and can't concentrate...
"I think we're alone in the universe tonight"
I need to put together a bulletin for Monday's meeting...got to install the microsoft office software first...then get the info...then fill the ink cartridge in the printer... *sigh* just seems like so much work for today...but I have such a busy weekend starting at 4pm...maybe I'll just get the bulletin ready for the first meeting in September...and just bring in caledars for everyone for Monday...I dunno...I can't think straight right now...
"Took another pill to find my way hope that you'll be there, cause this is my way out of this tonight, this is my last chance to ease the fire, this is my way out of here tonight, how about you?"
OMG went to the library...found Go Ask Alice... I would so be indebted to anyone who can get me a copy of it for myself... :D LOL
Gawd I loved that book so much as a kid...everyone was reading Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys...I was reading Go Ask Alice...nobody said I was normal...
"Hey you Mrs I don't know what the fuck yer name is I'm drawn to you somethings magnetic here"
I gotta stop now before I ramble more...I think I'l go take a shower to clear the cobwebs...
Later
Thats it I'm fuckin outta here...I swear to god... West Nile has strted popping up already... next will be Mad Cow again...followed closely in third place by SARS... *sigh*
I fucking hate it here.. I don't want to be here... I want to go home...
Shadow and I had this conversation in Tim Hortons yesterday... he said he doesn't feel like the Niagara Region is home anymore...I said I haven't felt at home anywhere here in a long long long time... they say home is where your heart is but.... well I won't get into that... let's just say neither one of us feels at home anymore... I dunno if it's with each other or just in general...
Most everyone doesn't know this yet but Shadow hopefully will be getting some information from work soon as to a possible transfer to the Phillipines (sp) I'm hoping that he can get it... as much as I would miss Canada...I need to get the fuck outta here...
"My porch light is on and I've unlocked my door, my eyes are red and my throat is sore, I've checked my mail and watched my phone, and I wonder when you're coming home and while I count my regrets I'm gonna smoke 100 cigarettes"
Fuck there ain't nothing like a good harmonica solo by Mr Chill...early in the morning when you've had no sleep, too many cigarettes and a pain in your heart... Gordy could sing to me all day and I'd have no problems with that...everyone needs a lil bit o' Big Sugar...
Shadow is finished his smoking fast... I knew he wouldn't be a quitter..LMAO
"and while I'm counting my regrets I'm gonna smoke 100 cigarettes, before I see the rising sun I believe I smoked 101"
Last night was fun...thanks to all who were there...LOL... flirtin and teasin is always best done in groups...LOL
"Dear Mr Fantasy play us a tune something to make us all happy, do anything to take us out of this gloom, sing a song play guitar make it snappy"
You should've never asked me to look into my cam that night....you weren't ready for it...LMAO...do me a favour rack your brain and remember your tarot reading... ;)
"Brothers and Sisters are ya ready??"
Gotta love secret messages that are out in the open...aren't they annoying...???
"baby's tired all the time, swear ya gonna lose me, girl ya gonna lose yer mind"
BTW did I happen to mention that this will be extremely fragmented?? LMAO
my thoughts are so all over the place...I need a nice big butterfly net to catch all my thoughts and then shove them all back into my head thru my head... my body feels like jello...yet my muscles are stiff and sore... my head feels groggy...yet the thoughts are so clear when they fly by...
"so I want to say thank you, cause it makes me that much stronger, makes me work a little bit harder, makes me that much wiser, thanks for making me fighter, made me learn a little bit faster, makes my skin a little bit thicker, makes me that much smarter, thanks for making me a fighter"
I need to thicken up my skin...metaphorically of course...
"thought I would forget but I remember"
Yes lots of music this morning... I need it to keep my head straight...sometimes it feels like if I don't have music I would hear too many conversations in my head that would drive me bonkers...yeah yeah yeah I know I'm already bonkers...but at least I'm fit enough to walk among the public...sometimes the thoughts and voices are so overpowering that I can't think straight...and can't concentrate...
"I think we're alone in the universe tonight"
I need to put together a bulletin for Monday's meeting...got to install the microsoft office software first...then get the info...then fill the ink cartridge in the printer... *sigh* just seems like so much work for today...but I have such a busy weekend starting at 4pm...maybe I'll just get the bulletin ready for the first meeting in September...and just bring in caledars for everyone for Monday...I dunno...I can't think straight right now...
"Took another pill to find my way hope that you'll be there, cause this is my way out of this tonight, this is my last chance to ease the fire, this is my way out of here tonight, how about you?"
OMG went to the library...found Go Ask Alice... I would so be indebted to anyone who can get me a copy of it for myself... :D LOL
Gawd I loved that book so much as a kid...everyone was reading Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys...I was reading Go Ask Alice...nobody said I was normal...
"Hey you Mrs I don't know what the fuck yer name is I'm drawn to you somethings magnetic here"
I gotta stop now before I ramble more...I think I'l go take a shower to clear the cobwebs...
Later
Thursday, June 17, 2004
GRRRR
Trying to get some fucking sleep and the god damn phone won't stop ringing...
the last person was my damn sister... call let the phone ring til it got to the voice mail, hang up, call back, repeat as necessary until, an annoyed naked fat woman (me) comes stumbling out grabs the phone to her asking "Are You Talking To Mom?"....WHAT!?!?...No I'm not talking to mom, because if I was talking to mom and you tried calling you would have gotten the voice mail a lot sooner when the phone was ringing... oh she called me an hour ago and now I can't get thru...*really fucking annoyed* So what?...well can you keep trying her at home and just tell her to answer her question No I'm not coming home for dinner...
So now here I sit, cause I'm some sort of fucking telephone service for my family members, redialing about every 30 seconds or so...just so I can say, Pam won't be home for dinner... except at this rate if I have to listen to the busy signal anymore...it'll sound more like this "Pam won't be home, when ya ask someone to call you back don't spend the next couple hours on the phone..." then hang up...
or
"Get Call Waiting.." click.
but then I'd have to call back to give her the message...oy vey...
Trying to get some fucking sleep and the god damn phone won't stop ringing...
the last person was my damn sister... call let the phone ring til it got to the voice mail, hang up, call back, repeat as necessary until, an annoyed naked fat woman (me) comes stumbling out grabs the phone to her asking "Are You Talking To Mom?"....WHAT!?!?...No I'm not talking to mom, because if I was talking to mom and you tried calling you would have gotten the voice mail a lot sooner when the phone was ringing... oh she called me an hour ago and now I can't get thru...*really fucking annoyed* So what?...well can you keep trying her at home and just tell her to answer her question No I'm not coming home for dinner...
So now here I sit, cause I'm some sort of fucking telephone service for my family members, redialing about every 30 seconds or so...just so I can say, Pam won't be home for dinner... except at this rate if I have to listen to the busy signal anymore...it'll sound more like this "Pam won't be home, when ya ask someone to call you back don't spend the next couple hours on the phone..." then hang up...
or
"Get Call Waiting.." click.
but then I'd have to call back to give her the message...oy vey...
Fucking Computers
So I said good night to Anna... well technically good morning...but blah...anyway...
I go to check out all my friends journals and blogs and websites blah blah blah...I do it everynight before bed, and sometimes when I get up in the morning...
I double click on my IE icon...and my computer just starts spewing shite at me... AVG is screaming at me that theres a virus here and a virus there and run me quick before your computer explodes and blah blah blah...
So I think this was about 4 am I said g'night to Anna and all this shite starts happeing...ok so I calm down, I yell at the computer to calm the fuck down and we'll work out whatever little bugs it has... So I run AVG... doing a full system scan... got thru the C drive with 5 files infected... gets halfway thru the D drive and the computer restarts... grrrr I look at the tower... and mumble something about certain death... so when it comes back on... I go to pc-cillin.com start doing a home scan for just the C drive... nope restarted again... *lighting cigarette now out of sheer frustration* I look at the tower, which is now cowering from me down on the floor, and this time thru clenched teeth I say "listen you lil fuckhead, I need you to stay on to get the damn bugs out of you, fuckin work with me here!!"...so after it's done loading up...I open up AVG again... scanned just the C drive... yep up pops the 5 infected files... ok auto heals 3 files, puts 1 into something called a Virus Vault...and wait...it didn't say anything about the 5th one... yet it's saying that the drive is clean... odd I think to myself... so I think ok... now maybe IE will work... double click on it... bam computer starts spewing shit at me again... AVG starts screaming that theres viruses again... ok really fuckin pissed this time...glaring at the tower out of the corner of my eye now... it's lookin back at me scared to death that I'm about to impale it with a nearby sword... so I lok at the AVG warnings that have popped up... I decided to play a little game of search and destroy... so I typed in the file name and location...and BAM delete everything that was listed in the warning.... run AVG again on just the C drive... it pops up that there's 2 viruses...*sigh* FAWWWWWK!!! so I said fuck it I'll deal with it after I wake up... I cancel the rest of the scan...it cleans those two files... I turn off the computer and get into bed... Shadow wakes up... I start bitching about the computer and how I need to find the XP cd so that I can fix some stability thing... he's like oh... if I have the time before work I'll see if I can find it... neither one of us falls back to sleep... an arguement ensues... he gets up to have a shower... I get up to have a smoke... I look over my shoulder at the tower...it smiles weakly up at me from the floor... I reach over and turn the lil fucker back on... I run AVG again... no viruses... woo hoo I start cheering... I double click on the IE icon to get to my blog page... well if you're smart you'd have guessed it...thats right...didn't the fucking computer start spewing at me again...trying to download shit, telling me I have viruses again... I'm bout ready to pull my hair out when Shadow walks into the room... I point at the page that was coming up as the homepage...which of course wasn't my blog... and he goes "Oh" grabs the mouse...goes to the internet options in the Tools menu... erases whatever bullshit page was there... applies it... closes it...double clicks on the IE icon... and sure as shit nothing happened... I mean a page came up... but it wasn't spewing shit at me anymore... I wanted to hug him and punch him in the nuts at the same time...
So here I am at 8:25 am...after all this fucking shit...because all I wanted to do was read my friends blogs, journals and websites before I went to bed... *sigh* fuck I swear I'm an idiot some days... but at least I know now for next time...
So now I'm happy to announce that my computer is virus free and I've had no fucking sleep...and then I come to find out half you people didn't even update your own shit...LOL ain't that a kicker for ya...
Anyway...much love goes to Zeppy and Ergo for helpin me out today...thank you very much... Zepp somehow you make me think about the shit that I never want to think about...and damnit why do you always have to make so much sense.
Shana...I'll only exterminate Rob for you, if you get Tracy to get me the keys for Norms car so the three of us can go on that "other" road trip *wicked evil grin*
Shadow...As I said while laying in bed...don't give me that last option too many times...or you'll find that I'll take you up on it...and we don't want that.
Night...Red my blog damnit...it's not always about you...and damnit smile it won't kill ya :P LMAO
To everyone else...take the advice from the fruitcake lady "Keep Your Head High and Your Dress Down"
Blog Ya Later
So I said good night to Anna... well technically good morning...but blah...anyway...
I go to check out all my friends journals and blogs and websites blah blah blah...I do it everynight before bed, and sometimes when I get up in the morning...
I double click on my IE icon...and my computer just starts spewing shite at me... AVG is screaming at me that theres a virus here and a virus there and run me quick before your computer explodes and blah blah blah...
So I think this was about 4 am I said g'night to Anna and all this shite starts happeing...ok so I calm down, I yell at the computer to calm the fuck down and we'll work out whatever little bugs it has... So I run AVG... doing a full system scan... got thru the C drive with 5 files infected... gets halfway thru the D drive and the computer restarts... grrrr I look at the tower... and mumble something about certain death... so when it comes back on... I go to pc-cillin.com start doing a home scan for just the C drive... nope restarted again... *lighting cigarette now out of sheer frustration* I look at the tower, which is now cowering from me down on the floor, and this time thru clenched teeth I say "listen you lil fuckhead, I need you to stay on to get the damn bugs out of you, fuckin work with me here!!"...so after it's done loading up...I open up AVG again... scanned just the C drive... yep up pops the 5 infected files... ok auto heals 3 files, puts 1 into something called a Virus Vault...and wait...it didn't say anything about the 5th one... yet it's saying that the drive is clean... odd I think to myself... so I think ok... now maybe IE will work... double click on it... bam computer starts spewing shit at me again... AVG starts screaming that theres viruses again... ok really fuckin pissed this time...glaring at the tower out of the corner of my eye now... it's lookin back at me scared to death that I'm about to impale it with a nearby sword... so I lok at the AVG warnings that have popped up... I decided to play a little game of search and destroy... so I typed in the file name and location...and BAM delete everything that was listed in the warning.... run AVG again on just the C drive... it pops up that there's 2 viruses...*sigh* FAWWWWWK!!! so I said fuck it I'll deal with it after I wake up... I cancel the rest of the scan...it cleans those two files... I turn off the computer and get into bed... Shadow wakes up... I start bitching about the computer and how I need to find the XP cd so that I can fix some stability thing... he's like oh... if I have the time before work I'll see if I can find it... neither one of us falls back to sleep... an arguement ensues... he gets up to have a shower... I get up to have a smoke... I look over my shoulder at the tower...it smiles weakly up at me from the floor... I reach over and turn the lil fucker back on... I run AVG again... no viruses... woo hoo I start cheering... I double click on the IE icon to get to my blog page... well if you're smart you'd have guessed it...thats right...didn't the fucking computer start spewing at me again...trying to download shit, telling me I have viruses again... I'm bout ready to pull my hair out when Shadow walks into the room... I point at the page that was coming up as the homepage...which of course wasn't my blog... and he goes "Oh" grabs the mouse...goes to the internet options in the Tools menu... erases whatever bullshit page was there... applies it... closes it...double clicks on the IE icon... and sure as shit nothing happened... I mean a page came up... but it wasn't spewing shit at me anymore... I wanted to hug him and punch him in the nuts at the same time...
So here I am at 8:25 am...after all this fucking shit...because all I wanted to do was read my friends blogs, journals and websites before I went to bed... *sigh* fuck I swear I'm an idiot some days... but at least I know now for next time...
So now I'm happy to announce that my computer is virus free and I've had no fucking sleep...and then I come to find out half you people didn't even update your own shit...LOL ain't that a kicker for ya...
Anyway...much love goes to Zeppy and Ergo for helpin me out today...thank you very much... Zepp somehow you make me think about the shit that I never want to think about...and damnit why do you always have to make so much sense.
Shana...I'll only exterminate Rob for you, if you get Tracy to get me the keys for Norms car so the three of us can go on that "other" road trip *wicked evil grin*
Shadow...As I said while laying in bed...don't give me that last option too many times...or you'll find that I'll take you up on it...and we don't want that.
Night...Red my blog damnit...it's not always about you...and damnit smile it won't kill ya :P LMAO
To everyone else...take the advice from the fruitcake lady "Keep Your Head High and Your Dress Down"
Blog Ya Later
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Entertainment For You
ok got these links from Anna... had to share them...
they're fucking hiliarious...
http://www.geocities.com/kipapa/sbc/sbc_packers.htm
http://www.angryalien.com/0204/exorcistbunnies.html
http://www.funsnap.com/1/bushgirl.swf
http://www.scarysquirrel.org/special/movies/foamy/sml2.html
http://www.dayudie.com/bbird.asp
While I was in South Carolina Night introduced me to the wonderful world of Joe Cartoon...I saw a couple of his things before...but I absolutely fell in love with the poor Gerbil...guess what...theres a new one :D
http://www.joecartoon.com/pages/donkeybong/
And my all time Favourite is
http://www.joecartoon.com/pages/mantra/
Have fun... if you have any other links that are fun like these please send them too me... I love this kind of stuff :)
ok got these links from Anna... had to share them...
they're fucking hiliarious...
http://www.geocities.com/kipapa/sbc/sbc_packers.htm
http://www.angryalien.com/0204/exorcistbunnies.html
http://www.funsnap.com/1/bushgirl.swf
http://www.scarysquirrel.org/special/movies/foamy/sml2.html
http://www.dayudie.com/bbird.asp
While I was in South Carolina Night introduced me to the wonderful world of Joe Cartoon...I saw a couple of his things before...but I absolutely fell in love with the poor Gerbil...guess what...theres a new one :D
http://www.joecartoon.com/pages/donkeybong/
And my all time Favourite is
http://www.joecartoon.com/pages/mantra/
Have fun... if you have any other links that are fun like these please send them too me... I love this kind of stuff :)
Manipulation
ma·nip·u·la·tion
n.
1.The act or practice of manipulating.
2.The state of being manipulated.
3.Shrewd or devious management, especially for one's own advantage.
hmm ok...definition for Manipulate....
ma·nip·u·late
tr.v. ma·nip·u·lat·ed, ma·nip·u·lat·ing, ma·nip·u·lates
1.To move, arrange, operate, or control by the hands or by mechanical means, especially in a skillful manner: She manipulated the lights to get just the effect she wanted.
2.To influence or manage shrewdly or deviously: He manipulated public opinion in his favor.
3.To tamper with or falsify for personal gain: tried to manipulate stock prices.
4.Medicine. To handle and move in an examination or for therapeutic purposes: manipulate a joint; manipulate the position of a fetus during delivery.
Ok so You're wondering why the definition of the two forms of manipulate....
I've been feeling manipulated lately...
Somebody who will treat me like crud... then later be all nice a sweet to me... It feels to me that the person is trying to control my emotions... And as thick as I am I didn't realize it til last night... Maybe this person thinks by doing this it makes them feel better about themselves... I'm not even sure this person realizes their doing it... point is... I refuse to let it happen anymore
"Life is a highway I want to ride it all night long, If you're going may way I want to drive it all night long...there was a distance between you and I, a misunderstanding but now we look it in the eye"
That's right...no more...
"I'm running down a dream that never would come to me, working on a mystery and going where ever it leads, I'm running down a dream"
I need to get my appetite back... and I need to start smoking less... at least I've curbed my late night solitary drinking episodes...
"I won't back down you could stand me up at the gates of hell and I won't back down"
Blog later...I need to eat something...haven't had anything solid in 24 hours...
ma·nip·u·la·tion
n.
1.The act or practice of manipulating.
2.The state of being manipulated.
3.Shrewd or devious management, especially for one's own advantage.
hmm ok...definition for Manipulate....
ma·nip·u·late
tr.v. ma·nip·u·lat·ed, ma·nip·u·lat·ing, ma·nip·u·lates
1.To move, arrange, operate, or control by the hands or by mechanical means, especially in a skillful manner: She manipulated the lights to get just the effect she wanted.
2.To influence or manage shrewdly or deviously: He manipulated public opinion in his favor.
3.To tamper with or falsify for personal gain: tried to manipulate stock prices.
4.Medicine. To handle and move in an examination or for therapeutic purposes: manipulate a joint; manipulate the position of a fetus during delivery.
Ok so You're wondering why the definition of the two forms of manipulate....
I've been feeling manipulated lately...
Somebody who will treat me like crud... then later be all nice a sweet to me... It feels to me that the person is trying to control my emotions... And as thick as I am I didn't realize it til last night... Maybe this person thinks by doing this it makes them feel better about themselves... I'm not even sure this person realizes their doing it... point is... I refuse to let it happen anymore
"Life is a highway I want to ride it all night long, If you're going may way I want to drive it all night long...there was a distance between you and I, a misunderstanding but now we look it in the eye"
That's right...no more...
"I'm running down a dream that never would come to me, working on a mystery and going where ever it leads, I'm running down a dream"
I need to get my appetite back... and I need to start smoking less... at least I've curbed my late night solitary drinking episodes...
"I won't back down you could stand me up at the gates of hell and I won't back down"
Blog later...I need to eat something...haven't had anything solid in 24 hours...
WOO FUCKING HOO!!!
I'm so fucking proud of myself LMAO
I felt very very good... I said NO!! I'm making progress...whippee
i know that it's not much to be proud of...but for me baby steps are good :D
I felt no anger for about an hour tonight...that got squashed..but I'm still really proud :D
*does a happy dance with Maguilla*
I'm so fucking proud of myself LMAO
I felt very very good... I said NO!! I'm making progress...whippee
i know that it's not much to be proud of...but for me baby steps are good :D
I felt no anger for about an hour tonight...that got squashed..but I'm still really proud :D
*does a happy dance with Maguilla*
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
I'm going to have to change Shadow's name to Stealth Shadow...
been sitting here blogging, and reading all my friends journals...and three times now he's evaded me...LOL
I thought he was still sitting behind me and I went to turn around and talk to him and poof he wasn't there...and twice he's come in and kissed me on the head and I thought he was still standing there and turned to say something to him and poof he was gone...
*scratching head*
Stealth Shadow...
been sitting here blogging, and reading all my friends journals...and three times now he's evaded me...LOL
I thought he was still sitting behind me and I went to turn around and talk to him and poof he wasn't there...and twice he's come in and kissed me on the head and I thought he was still standing there and turned to say something to him and poof he was gone...
*scratching head*
Stealth Shadow...
DOCTORS!?!?!
I'm sitting here still seething about my stupid doctors appt... I now know why I've tried to steer clear of new doctors... apparently my GP is helping out new doctoirs by giving them some office space and letting them handle some of his patients.... if he ever does that to me again..I swear to god I'll kill him... this woman's bedside manner was FUCKING awful... she asked me stupid redundant questions that if she had've just opened her eyes and actually looked at my file she would have found the answers... I went in there for a physical and to ask about going to see a Rheumatologist... well her fucking stuck up snotty attitude just made me want to smack the shit out of her and then find her parents and smack them as well... she looked like she was barely 20 years old...
As most women know the horrible thing that comes along with a physical is the fucking pap smear... I've had the same doctor for 20 years...which I feel fortunate about in this day and age... so I'm used to the way he does things... she made me feel uncomfortable... then she questioned me about the blood tests I wanted to get done... GRRR ...
Rae "I'd like you to please check off that I would like an Aids/HIV test done" Doc "well do you know how the HIV test works?" strange look on my face...I dunno maybe it changed in the last three years Rae "umm I believe so..." Doc "well if you contracted HIV yesterday it's not going to show up for at least 3 to 6 months" Rae "Or longer...I know" Doc "well have you been at risk of possibly contracting HIV?" Rae *rolls eyes* "well I've been sexually active since age 12.." Doc *tries to hide her surprise* Rae "I get one done every couple of years" Doc "Oh well have you had a new sexual partner since the last one?" Rae *trying not to strangle doctor* "Yes I have a couple actually...including an american soldier" Doc *looking very uncomfortable* Rae *grinning evilly to herself* Doc "Ok I'll check that off for you"
It's like GAWD I know why I want the test...just fucking check it off damnit...
"And I think everything is going to be alright, no matter what we do tonight..."
So now since she kept me in the damn office so friggin long I missed the people from the blood lab...so now I need to get to a seperate one...
My mom had me drop her off at her house and then go to my doctors so at least I was five minutes late which meant I didn't have to wait in the waiting room...
so I went got on the scale...lost about 6 more pounds or so...peed in a cup...got naked (well sort of...still had t-shirt on) sat up on those uncomfortable beds covered in thin ass fucking paper...the door was closed and there was no A/C coming in the office...I was sw3eating my balls off...my ass got all stuck to the paper...gawd it was gross... after she was done I got up to get dressed and was peeling hundreds of pieces of paper off my ass...
"Could you tell it to my face or have I been erased? Are you happy now?"
I just wanted to get the fuck out of there...
I took a longer route back to my mom's...enjoying the drive...and checking out everything in my old home town...
It's funny how all the while growing up there I just wanted the town to change and get better cause it was boring and there was never anything to do... driving around today...I was surprised at all the changes... funny how you expect your hometown to stay the same while you grow up and change...
"You can kill a girl with a bottle of poison or a knife, I know you can, bit'll hurt her more to take her pride...it's a shame it's shame...whatever it is boy I surely I hope you find..."
*sigh*
I hate you very much right now...
On the 19th is a summer solistice ritual...I think I'm going to go and see if there is some way I can release this anger I have... mmmm fire...
*sigh* I'm thru for now...
I'm sitting here still seething about my stupid doctors appt... I now know why I've tried to steer clear of new doctors... apparently my GP is helping out new doctoirs by giving them some office space and letting them handle some of his patients.... if he ever does that to me again..I swear to god I'll kill him... this woman's bedside manner was FUCKING awful... she asked me stupid redundant questions that if she had've just opened her eyes and actually looked at my file she would have found the answers... I went in there for a physical and to ask about going to see a Rheumatologist... well her fucking stuck up snotty attitude just made me want to smack the shit out of her and then find her parents and smack them as well... she looked like she was barely 20 years old...
As most women know the horrible thing that comes along with a physical is the fucking pap smear... I've had the same doctor for 20 years...which I feel fortunate about in this day and age... so I'm used to the way he does things... she made me feel uncomfortable... then she questioned me about the blood tests I wanted to get done... GRRR ...
Rae "I'd like you to please check off that I would like an Aids/HIV test done" Doc "well do you know how the HIV test works?" strange look on my face...I dunno maybe it changed in the last three years Rae "umm I believe so..." Doc "well if you contracted HIV yesterday it's not going to show up for at least 3 to 6 months" Rae "Or longer...I know" Doc "well have you been at risk of possibly contracting HIV?" Rae *rolls eyes* "well I've been sexually active since age 12.." Doc *tries to hide her surprise* Rae "I get one done every couple of years" Doc "Oh well have you had a new sexual partner since the last one?" Rae *trying not to strangle doctor* "Yes I have a couple actually...including an american soldier" Doc *looking very uncomfortable* Rae *grinning evilly to herself* Doc "Ok I'll check that off for you"
It's like GAWD I know why I want the test...just fucking check it off damnit...
"And I think everything is going to be alright, no matter what we do tonight..."
So now since she kept me in the damn office so friggin long I missed the people from the blood lab...so now I need to get to a seperate one...
My mom had me drop her off at her house and then go to my doctors so at least I was five minutes late which meant I didn't have to wait in the waiting room...
so I went got on the scale...lost about 6 more pounds or so...peed in a cup...got naked (well sort of...still had t-shirt on) sat up on those uncomfortable beds covered in thin ass fucking paper...the door was closed and there was no A/C coming in the office...I was sw3eating my balls off...my ass got all stuck to the paper...gawd it was gross... after she was done I got up to get dressed and was peeling hundreds of pieces of paper off my ass...
"Could you tell it to my face or have I been erased? Are you happy now?"
I just wanted to get the fuck out of there...
I took a longer route back to my mom's...enjoying the drive...and checking out everything in my old home town...
It's funny how all the while growing up there I just wanted the town to change and get better cause it was boring and there was never anything to do... driving around today...I was surprised at all the changes... funny how you expect your hometown to stay the same while you grow up and change...
"You can kill a girl with a bottle of poison or a knife, I know you can, bit'll hurt her more to take her pride...it's a shame it's shame...whatever it is boy I surely I hope you find..."
*sigh*
I hate you very much right now...
On the 19th is a summer solistice ritual...I think I'm going to go and see if there is some way I can release this anger I have... mmmm fire...
*sigh* I'm thru for now...
well that didn't take long...damn people you need to write more and entertain me ...LOL
My japanese name is 藤原 Fujiwara (wisteria fields) 久美子 Kumiko (eternal beautiful child).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.
I would not, could not, bust a nut.
I could not do that to your butt.
I will not felch you, Sam I Am!
I will not felch you with a ham!
omfg Zepp sent me to this link tonight....it's fucking funny as hell...
www.zug.com
they have an awesome prank section... I've spent hours laughing my ass off at some of these pranks...
For one thing, it's unhygienic. For another, I can't imagine that it tastes that good. I wouldn't expect anyone to felch me, in the same way that I'd never ask anyone to eat my toenail clippings. In most cases, I'm guessing your sexual partner ends up spending the next day in bed, sweating and taking Immodium.
"What's wrong?" you ask.
"Must have been the felching," he or she responds.
If you don't know what it is...I'm not about to explain it...go look it up...LMFAO
So here it is 5 to 5 in the morning...I can't help but read these pranks... and I have to be up for at least 2 in the afternoon because I have a doctors appointment tomorrow...
I'm having a smoke before bed...then I'll probably end up laying there reading...gawww
I think while I smoke I shall take a quick look thru everyones journals...
Blog Ya later
I could not do that to your butt.
I will not felch you, Sam I Am!
I will not felch you with a ham!
omfg Zepp sent me to this link tonight....it's fucking funny as hell...
www.zug.com
they have an awesome prank section... I've spent hours laughing my ass off at some of these pranks...
For one thing, it's unhygienic. For another, I can't imagine that it tastes that good. I wouldn't expect anyone to felch me, in the same way that I'd never ask anyone to eat my toenail clippings. In most cases, I'm guessing your sexual partner ends up spending the next day in bed, sweating and taking Immodium.
"What's wrong?" you ask.
"Must have been the felching," he or she responds.
If you don't know what it is...I'm not about to explain it...go look it up...LMFAO
So here it is 5 to 5 in the morning...I can't help but read these pranks... and I have to be up for at least 2 in the afternoon because I have a doctors appointment tomorrow...
I'm having a smoke before bed...then I'll probably end up laying there reading...gawww
I think while I smoke I shall take a quick look thru everyones journals...
Blog Ya later
About Me
- The Witch Doctor
- This is my disclaimer, this is the only warning you get... You don't like what you read in my blog, I don't give a flyin' squirrel - These are my thoughts, I own them and you will not censor me! You don't like what I have to say, then by all means click the lil X in the top right corner.