"Look for that girl with the broken smile and ask her if she'll stay awhile and she will be loved..."

Thats it I'm fuckin outta here...I swear to god... West Nile has strted popping up already... next will be Mad Cow again...followed closely in third place by SARS... *sigh*

I fucking hate it here.. I don't want to be here... I want to go home...

Shadow and I had this conversation in Tim Hortons yesterday... he said he doesn't feel like the Niagara Region is home anymore...I said I haven't felt at home anywhere here in a long long long time... they say home is where your heart is but.... well I won't get into that... let's just say neither one of us feels at home anymore... I dunno if it's with each other or just in general...

Most everyone doesn't know this yet but Shadow hopefully will be getting some information from work soon as to a possible transfer to the Phillipines (sp) I'm hoping that he can get it... as much as I would miss Canada...I need to get the fuck outta here...

"My porch light is on and I've unlocked my door, my eyes are red and my throat is sore, I've checked my mail and watched my phone, and I wonder when you're coming home and while I count my regrets I'm gonna smoke 100 cigarettes"

Fuck there ain't nothing like a good harmonica solo by Mr Chill...early in the morning when you've had no sleep, too many cigarettes and a pain in your heart... Gordy could sing to me all day and I'd have no problems with that...everyone needs a lil bit o' Big Sugar...

Shadow is finished his smoking fast... I knew he wouldn't be a quitter..LMAO

"and while I'm counting my regrets I'm gonna smoke 100 cigarettes, before I see the rising sun I believe I smoked 101"

Last night was fun...thanks to all who were there...LOL... flirtin and teasin is always best done in groups...LOL

"Dear Mr Fantasy play us a tune something to make us all happy, do anything to take us out of this gloom, sing a song play guitar make it snappy"

You should've never asked me to look into my cam that night....you weren't ready for it...LMAO...do me a favour rack your brain and remember your tarot reading... ;)

"Brothers and Sisters are ya ready??"

Gotta love secret messages that are out in the open...aren't they annoying...???

"baby's tired all the time, swear ya gonna lose me, girl ya gonna lose yer mind"

BTW did I happen to mention that this will be extremely fragmented?? LMAO

my thoughts are so all over the place...I need a nice big butterfly net to catch all my thoughts and then shove them all back into my head thru my head... my body feels like jello...yet my muscles are stiff and sore... my head feels groggy...yet the thoughts are so clear when they fly by...

"so I want to say thank you, cause it makes me that much stronger, makes me work a little bit harder, makes me that much wiser, thanks for making me fighter, made me learn a little bit faster, makes my skin a little bit thicker, makes me that much smarter, thanks for making me a fighter"

I need to thicken up my skin...metaphorically of course...

"thought I would forget but I remember"

Yes lots of music this morning... I need it to keep my head straight...sometimes it feels like if I don't have music I would hear too many conversations in my head that would drive me bonkers...yeah yeah yeah I know I'm already bonkers...but at least I'm fit enough to walk among the public...sometimes the thoughts and voices are so overpowering that I can't think straight...and can't concentrate...

"I think we're alone in the universe tonight"

I need to put together a bulletin for Monday's meeting...got to install the microsoft office software first...then get the info...then fill the ink cartridge in the printer... *sigh* just seems like so much work for today...but I have such a busy weekend starting at 4pm...maybe I'll just get the bulletin ready for the first meeting in September...and just bring in caledars for everyone for Monday...I dunno...I can't think straight right now...

"Took another pill to find my way hope that you'll be there, cause this is my way out of this tonight, this is my last chance to ease the fire, this is my way out of here tonight, how about you?"

OMG went to the library...found Go Ask Alice... I would so be indebted to anyone who can get me a copy of it for myself... :D LOL
Gawd I loved that book so much as a kid...everyone was reading Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys...I was reading Go Ask Alice...nobody said I was normal...

"Hey you Mrs I don't know what the fuck yer name is I'm drawn to you somethings magnetic here"

I gotta stop now before I ramble more...I think I'l go take a shower to clear the cobwebs...

Later