DOCTORS!?!?!

I'm sitting here still seething about my stupid doctors appt... I now know why I've tried to steer clear of new doctors... apparently my GP is helping out new doctoirs by giving them some office space and letting them handle some of his patients.... if he ever does that to me again..I swear to god I'll kill him... this woman's bedside manner was FUCKING awful... she asked me stupid redundant questions that if she had've just opened her eyes and actually looked at my file she would have found the answers... I went in there for a physical and to ask about going to see a Rheumatologist... well her fucking stuck up snotty attitude just made me want to smack the shit out of her and then find her parents and smack them as well... she looked like she was barely 20 years old...
As most women know the horrible thing that comes along with a physical is the fucking pap smear... I've had the same doctor for 20 years...which I feel fortunate about in this day and age... so I'm used to the way he does things... she made me feel uncomfortable... then she questioned me about the blood tests I wanted to get done... GRRR ...
Rae "I'd like you to please check off that I would like an Aids/HIV test done" Doc "well do you know how the HIV test works?" strange look on my face...I dunno maybe it changed in the last three years Rae "umm I believe so..." Doc "well if you contracted HIV yesterday it's not going to show up for at least 3 to 6 months" Rae "Or longer...I know" Doc "well have you been at risk of possibly contracting HIV?" Rae *rolls eyes* "well I've been sexually active since age 12.." Doc *tries to hide her surprise* Rae "I get one done every couple of years" Doc "Oh well have you had a new sexual partner since the last one?" Rae *trying not to strangle doctor* "Yes I have a couple actually...including an american soldier" Doc *looking very uncomfortable* Rae *grinning evilly to herself* Doc "Ok I'll check that off for you"

It's like GAWD I know why I want the test...just fucking check it off damnit...

"And I think everything is going to be alright, no matter what we do tonight..."

So now since she kept me in the damn office so friggin long I missed the people from the blood lab...so now I need to get to a seperate one...

My mom had me drop her off at her house and then go to my doctors so at least I was five minutes late which meant I didn't have to wait in the waiting room...
so I went got on the scale...lost about 6 more pounds or so...peed in a cup...got naked (well sort of...still had t-shirt on) sat up on those uncomfortable beds covered in thin ass fucking paper...the door was closed and there was no A/C coming in the office...I was sw3eating my balls off...my ass got all stuck to the paper...gawd it was gross... after she was done I got up to get dressed and was peeling hundreds of pieces of paper off my ass...

"Could you tell it to my face or have I been erased? Are you happy now?"

I just wanted to get the fuck out of there...

I took a longer route back to my mom's...enjoying the drive...and checking out everything in my old home town...

It's funny how all the while growing up there I just wanted the town to change and get better cause it was boring and there was never anything to do... driving around today...I was surprised at all the changes... funny how you expect your hometown to stay the same while you grow up and change...

"You can kill a girl with a bottle of poison or a knife, I know you can, bit'll hurt her more to take her pride...it's a shame it's shame...whatever it is boy I surely I hope you find..."

*sigh*
I hate you very much right now...

On the 19th is a summer solistice ritual...I think I'm going to go and see if there is some way I can release this anger I have... mmmm fire...

*sigh* I'm thru for now...